Emerge (11 page)

             
He opened the door and
shook Carlos’ hand and invited him in.  Carlos smiled at me and I tried to give him a look that conveyed “I’m sorry”. 

             
He walked up to my Mom, who was seething on the couch, and said
,
“
Nice to meet you.  I’m Carlos.”

             
She gave him the most horrible smile and then said “Yeah, have her home on time or else it won’t be nice to meet me.” 

             
I palm slapped my forehead and said “Um…yeah…let’s go or we’ll be late for the movie.” 

             
Carlos caught my drift and nodded, “Yeah, we’re about to miss it.” 

             
“She needs to be home by eleven and if she’s not, don’t think about taking her out again.”  I rolled my eyes not only at her tone, but at he
r all-the-sudden need to be my m
other. 

             
We made our way out to his car and he opened the door for me.  I slipped in
, reached over,
and unlocked the driver’s side door for him. 

             
“Thanks
,
” he said as he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car.

             
“The movie doesn’t start until 8:30, but I thought we could walk around the Promenade until then.” 

             
I shrugged, not really caring where we went as long as I was with him.

             
“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

             
We made our way to
the Promenade.  It was a Friday night so it was alive with music and street performers and people of every color, shape and size.
There were twinkly lights strung everywhere and the smells of fried fair food permeated the air.

             
As soon as we parked, he walked to my side and took my hand and said “By the way, I didn’t get a chance to tell you how great you look tonight.” 

             
I bumped my shoulder with his and said
,
“Thanks, you look pretty good yourself.”

             
He smiled and said
,
“Let’s go get our tickets so we don’t have to worry about it.” 

             
I nodded, “Yeah, that’s fine.” 

             
Our hands
almost immediately found each other
fit together as though
they were made one for the other
.  He bought our tickets after a small amount of protest from me for not getting to p
ay for my own.  We walked through
some shops around the movie theater, just browsing and waiting for the movie to start. 

We talked about nothing and everything and there was
a calmness
around my soul that I didn’t think I had ever felt in my life.
I was at peace.  It was if I could finally breathe.
We laughed and he huffed and puffed when I told him about my Mom slapping me the other night.  I
shrugged it off and
tried to tell him that it wasn’t something that happened every day and that hopefully I w
ould be leaving soon, either for college or just to get out
. 
We
talked about his plans after school
and then the movie started.  We were “
shhhhed
” by some older people in front of us
. It made us laugh and when they did it again we laughed even harder.

The movie started and the lights went low and suddenly I was nervous.  I mean, I had barely kissed one or two guys before and they were sloppy, messy, icky experiences that I had tried to forget.
Was he going to kiss me?
He must’ve sensed my change in mood because he turned and gave me a questioning glance. 
Suddenly I wasn’t nervous anymore.  He moved the
arm rest from
being in between us to between the tops of our seats.  Now it was my turn to look at him questioningly. 
He looked forward to the movie screen and huffed out this big breath and then looked back to me swiftly and put his arm around my shoulders and
gently
nudged my shoulder with his hand gesturing me to move closer.  I moved a little towards him not knowing how close to get. 

His smooth voice was suddenly in my ear, “
Come on
,
J, it’s just me.”

I bit my lip and reveled in the new feelings he was bringing forward in me.  I scooted, gathering my bravery, all the way over to him and shimmied until I was comfortable in the crook of his arm.  He chuckled and kissed my temple and whispered “Much better.” 

The movie ended and it was supposed to be some kind of action movie but other than the commercial I had seen briefly on TV, I had no idea what it was about.  We stayed put until the theater had emptied.  I looked at him warily and asked the time.  He said it was only
10:00, so we had an hour to find something to do
.  We walked the short distance to a small park with lots of benches.  We were technically still on the promenade but in a secluded area.  The park overlooked the ocean, but it was still a good distance away. 
I put my hands on the almost rotted away wooden gate. You’d think that a fence which separated the people from falling over a cliff to the ocean would be stronger and sturdier.
The sun had mostly gone down and its remnants lingered on top of the waves. 

We stayed there silent for a while absorbing the peace. 

He cleared his throat.  “So, are we gonna talk about what you said to me on the phone the other night?”

I knew exactly what he was getting at, but I played like I didn’t. 

I smiled and said, “What?  I really like to read…so what.” 

He laughed a haughty genuine laugh and said looked at me fiercely. 

“That’s not really what I was talking about and you know it.” 

I put a smug grin on my face and replied, “Well, at least I said it
and didn’t
just hint around it.”
 

He backed up looking shocked and
said
,
“What? I said it.”

I quickly responded
,
“No you didn’t.  You said you worried about
me and
that you don’t worry about people like that
unless you love them.
That’s
sooo
not saying it.
”

I raised one eyebrow at him and he laughed again. 

“Well, you definitely said it. I heard you.” 

I sighed heavily and looked back at the ocean.

“Yeah, I did.  Too bad you’re not gonna hear it again until I hear it from you first.”

So…I thought that was going to prompt him to say it but he didn’t. 

I suddenly realized that a good amount of time had lapsed.
My eyes grew wide as I nearly screamed “What time is it?” 

He looked
at his watch and said
,
“Crap,
it’s
10:40
!” 

My
face gave my emotions away.  I was freaking out.  “It’s ok. We’ll make it.” 

We started to walk/run towards the parking garage.  I was so completely consumed by worry about the repercussions of being late that I didn’t even enjoy the ride home.  I twisted my hands in worry and he kept looking at me with con
cern written all ove
r his face. 

“Jenna, we’re
gonna
get there on time.” 

I nodded, that’s all I could muster
then conjured
,
“
I know, just hurry please.” 

He pulled curbside my house at 10:57 and as soon as we pulled up the lights on the small porch lit up like she was waiting for us.  I looked at him
regretting that this was the way our first date was to end. 

H
e looked up at the house and said “I’m sorry
,
J.  I’m really sorry.  Next time I will watch the clock closer.  I hate to think…” 

I put my hand on the handle; the time was now 10:59. 

I grabbed his right hand with my left and intertwined our fingers for a few seconds. 

“I know,
it’s
ok. See you later.” 

There was no time for him to even think about anything other than saying “goodbye” and I was out of his car and into my backdoor.  I looked at the kitchen clock and it read 11:00 sharp. My Mom was standing in the doorway between the
kitchen and the dining room with her hands on her hips.  She said nothing but gave me a smirk and went to her bedroom.  In my relief I nearly doubled over the rusty stove and hugged it.
I reveled momentarily in the cool metal of the burners against my flaming cheeks.
I went to my room and changed into an old t shirt and my comfiest pajama pants.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face and went back to the bedroom.
  May was already asleep.  She had some chocolate on the corner of her little lips and I wiped it off.  They didn’t make her brush her teeth before bed.  Oh well, at least she got fed. 
I pulled back my covers and slipped into bed. I turned on my side towards the window and hugged myself around the middle trying to keep those once felt feelings
of serenity lull me to sleep. 

Six
a.m. on a Saturday pisses
me off to no end. 
I had to be to work for
seven
a.m. and I was starving.  Not hungry, but starving.  I checked my wallet in my messenger bag and looked to see if I had any cash. 
Wait!  I have 10 bucks stashed in case I had to buy my ticket last night! Score! 
I had tucked the rest of my paycheck into my dresser drawer and swore to myself that I wouldn’t touch it.

I rushed to take a quick shower and twirled my hair up into a messy bun and headed out.  I went to a small Swedish bakery three doors down from the music store and headed in.  They made the most glorious cream cheese filled croissants …ever.  I ordered one with a medium cappuccino
and sat down to my little piece of divinity. 

With
two
minutes
left
until my shift started I walked towards the store.  I was entranced and bothered by Carlos’ and my date last night.  There were no first kisses goodnight and no romantic goodbyes.  There was me acting like a
spaz
trying to get out of his car
as fast as I could to avoid my Mom’s wrath.  I’m such a
fraidy
cat
.  I could kick myself
for being so scared
.  But on the other side if I didn’t get home on time I wouldn’t be allowed to see him for a long time, maybe ever again. 
I chose at that moment to bury my thoughts not in what was but what did happen.  He smiled at me, he held me and we had laughed together.  He worried about me.  More importantly I loved him and I would see him again. 

             
Sunday came and went and I was more eager than ever to welcome Monday.  I was glad that he hadn’t attempted to call on Sunday and I remembered that he was working to make up for missing Friday night. 

             
I was walking to my homeroom class, in my own bubble.  I went to my locker to get rid of some of my book weight and at first I thought my eyes were deceiving me. 

             
Carlos was there, back leaned against my locker, feet crossed at the ankles and his arms were crossed over his chest.  His head was leaned back against the locker and his eyes were closed.  He managed to be cool and hot as hell at the same time.  I snuck up on him and poked him in the ribs. 

             
He jumped, wide eyed and I said
,
“Hey, no sleeping on my locker.”

             
He laughed and lunged at me hugging me around my shoulders like he hadn’t seen me in months.
He rubbed his ch
eek against the side of my head and I tucked my face into the side of his neck.
  It was like breathing in an entire Aspen forest.
It was the best feeling ever. 

             
“I may or may not have begged Mrs. Alma to tell me where your locker was.”

             
“That Mrs. Alm
a, I’m gonna have to report her
,
” I said.

             
He laughed, “Yeah, well, it was worth it.”

             
“Why? So you could get a nap in?” I joked.

             
“
Yeah, do you mind?” He laughed and resumed his leaned back napping.