Emerge (24 page)

             
He moved his hands slowly towards my hips.
He quickly squeezed his
hands on either side of them
and said,

             
“That was…”

             
I smiled and said
,
“Yeah, it was...”

             
“Come on, I wanna see how you kiss me after you taste my cooking.”

             
“Ok, let’s see.” I joked with him and we walked back to the kitchen area.  He patted the stool by the bar in a gesture for me to sit.

             
“I can help.  Don’t make me sit here and not help.”

             
He looked at me and frowned.  “Jenna, when’s the last time someone served you a meal?”

             
I looked down
and just didn’t want to answer.  I had hardly ever been served dinner by anyone unless they were paid to wait on me. 

             
He dropped the spoon into the pot and put the plate on the counter.  He was next to me in a heartbeat. He coaxed me into facing him and put his arms around me. 

             
“I’m sorry
,
baby. I’m sorry. I just want to do something for you today. I wanted to cook for you and just let you be free today.”

             
I exhaled and let it all go.  I would not spend this time worrying over people who didn’t give a crap about me.  Not anymore. 

             
“It’s fine.  Thank you.
”
I squeezed him around th
e middle and he kissed my hair
line
.

             
He went back toward
s the oven
and p
ulled a cookie sheet out which
had hot rolls on it.  As he brought the pan up to place it on the stove I noticed his biceps and how the muscles around his neck flexed with the action.
It was a sight to behold.
He went back and resumed fixing a plate of chicken and rice and salad that was enough to feed a small army. 

             
He pre-empted my argument by saying, “Just eat what you want. Don’t worry about it.”

             
I put one bite in my mouth and it was so delicious that I groaned out loud. Then I started giggling at his face. 

             
“What?” I said, “
I
t
’s amazing.  I don’t think I’ve ever had chicken and rice like this. I mean…damn.”

             
He laughed and put his plate across from me and pulled a stool around to sit on.

             
“Well, if it causes you to make that sound every time you eat it, I’m gonna be making chicken and rice a lot.”

             
I blushed
,
but never stopped eating because it was so good.

             
He got up and pulled two cans of Coke out of the fridge and gave me one.

             
I must’ve been hungrier than I thought because I ate most of what he served me.  He finished his meal about the same time and banished me to the couch to wait for him to do the dishes. 

             
“Can I turn on the
TV
or a movie or something?” I asked
f
ro
m
the living room.

             
He leaned over the counter that we had eaten on and said “Jenna, this is your home
,
too.  Do what you want to.”

             
I sunk back into the couch and just sat there digesting my food and the words he had just spoken to me. 
That blue house wasn’t my home and neither was this apartment.  It
was him and his embrace where I found
home.  No matter where we were, we were home when we were together.
I sat there smiling for God knows how long.

             
I was still sitting there like a moron when he came into the living room.  He looked at the
TV
and then back to me. As usual, he let me be.  He di
dn’t say anything about the TV
not being on or ask me what I was doing. 
             

             
“You wanna watch a movie?” He offered.

             
“Yeah,” I shook myself out of my deep thoughts and got back to being present. “
Whatcha
got? We need something funny.”

             
He pulled out these upright cabinets from either side of the entertainment center and rubbed his hands together. “
Funny, funny, funny…
Ok, we got Anchorman, Step-B
rothers, Billy Madison
…”

             
“Jeez, that’s a lot of movies.” He had probably hundreds of movies.

             
“Um…The Ballad of Ricky Bobby,
Waterboy
…
”

             
I squealed and said “
Waterboy
, that’s my favorite movie ever!”

             
He smiled and said “Ok,
Waterboy
it is.”

             
He set up the DVD and TV then
came to sit next to me, but he was a little too far away for my liking.  As the movie began, he got back up and turned off all of the lights.
He leaned back against the other side of the couch.  He put one leg
against the back of the couch and the other on the floor. He opened his arms and motioned me to get closer.  I turned my back to him while I scooted back against his chest.  After I got comfortable, he wrapped his arms around my waist and put his other leg against mine. My whole torso rose and fell with his breaths and he arms were warm against my waist and around my stomach.
I traced the lines of his forearms lazily as we watched.  We were mesmerized by
the movie and when he laughed at Bobby Boucher I felt the rumbling against my back and it made me laugh harder. 

             
I couldn’t help myself and I quoted Bobby Boucher by heart: “I like school and I like football
and I’m
gonna
keep doing them both…”

             
I refrained from q
uoting the rest of that scene
to avoid a head on collision with my blush.
             

             
We finished the movie and he got up to turn the lights back on.

             
“Hey, I want to show you something.” He said.

             
“OK.” I got up and stretched. I reached up to the sky and flexed back and forth. When I finished stretching he was mid stride and staring at me.  When he knew he was caught he cleared his throat
, looked down at the floor
and blushed. 

             
“I saw that
,
” I teased him.

             
“Yeah, I know.  Let’s go to the bedroom.  I wanna show you something.”

             
“Oh
,
really?”
I joked.

             
“Oh,
wow…who’s the gutter brain now?
  Come on.”

             
He led me by the hand to his bedroom and I waited, leaning against the door jamb while he opened the bottom drawer of his dresser and pulled put a small wooden box.  He walked over to the bed and dumped it out
. He jumped up on the bed and nodded his head towards the bed.  I approached it and took off my flip flops before I got onto the bed.  He gave me his hand to help me up and I sat next to him. 

             
He picked up the first picture to show it to me. It was o
f
two
little boys. Carlos was sitting
on the front of a red metal tricycle and there was a little boy behind him who I assumed was Saul.

             
I cooed as if the toddlers were in front of me. “
Awww
, that’s so cute, look at your hair
and your little shorts
.”

             
He looked at the picture and rubbed his head at the same time.

             
“Yeah, that’s before I discovered how cool this cut is in the summer.”

             
He showed me pictures of all of his family and said that his Dad wanted to meet me. He also mentioned that
his brother was coming back at
eight
.  I wonder
ed
if he wanted to meet me too.

             
We perused all of the pictures and I went through the one
s of him as a child another round
.
  I couldn’t resist, they were so darned cute.
  I picked up the picture of him as a baby and the next thought in my head was whether or not our kids were going to be that gorgeous one day.

             
He put his arm around my waist and while I was still holding the picture he pulled me towards him and onto his lap. I was sitting sideways on his lap and he had his arms wrapped all the way around me and I put my head on his chest. 

             
“Tell me what you’re thinking when you look so serious.”

             
He was haphazardly rubbing my arm while he waited for my answer.

             
I let out a breath and told him the truth
,
though I couldn’t look at him while I said it.

             
“I was just wondering…you know…if one day our kids would look like this.”

             
He tensed underneath me and I started backtracking.

             
“I’m sorry
;
you asked what I was thinking about…
ughhh
…sorry.”

             
He took the picture from my hands and put them with the rest. 

             
This is it. You’ve spilled your guts and it was too much too soon. What were you thinking? And if you were, did you have to say it?
Idiot.

             
He moved and
hooked his forefinger under my chin to make me look at him.

             
“Look at
me
,
J.”
             

             
I huffed out a breath that I had been holding and looked at him.

             
I figured I’d better meet this face on
,
so I scooted around so that I was facing him, still in his lap.

             
I looked up at him and what I expected to see wasn’t there.  When was I going to learn?

             
He moved his arms to go around my waist
.

             
“You
were thinking about our kids?”
h
e asked me like he didn’t believe me.

             
“Yeah, I just thought, you were such a beautiful baby and well, look at you now…” He half smiled at that. “I’m sorry, the thought just popped into my head.”

             
“You think you’re the only one?
You don’t think that I want a little brown haired Jenna toddling around?
”

             
I looked at him questioningly and then a smile slowly crept across my face as I came to my senses once again and stopped doubting him, doubting us.

             
I was
talking only in a whisper now
.
“You have
?
”

             
“Yes, Jenna.  I want you for the rest of my life. I want
us
to be the family you deserved and never had. You
are
my family now.”

             
His lips found mine and it was a new experience this time.  It wasn’t rushed or raw. Don’t get me wrong it was sizzling.  But this kiss was slower, deeper, and it carried all the words we meant
,
but didn’t say tonight.  It carried our past and solidified our future…together. 

             
He grabbed me tighter and pressed our chests together but it didn’t feel close enough. I moaned into his mouth and I couldn’t believe I was making those noises. 

             
He broke free and laughed
,
“That’s the chicken and rice moan.”