Embracing My Submission (13 page)

“Goddammit!” Drake groaned, as he scrubbed his palms over his teary eyes and nodded.

“Thank you.” I smiled with deep appreciation.

Mika’s phone began to buzz. “Yes.” He stood and began pacing the bedroom. “Are you shittin’ me?”

He was silent for a minute, but I could tell by the way he clenched his jaw he didn’t like what he was being told.

“Son of a bitch!” He suddenly stopped pacing and shot a look of rage toward Drake. He shook his head as if in disbelief. “Well, obviously we’re going to need to change that now, aren’t we? This was premeditated. There’s no two ways about it. I’ll get in touch with George tomorrow morning. I want this scumbag nailed to the wall.”

I watched as a crimson hue climbed over Mika’s toffee-colored cheeks.

“Thank you, James,” Mika continued. “I appreciate this very much. I won’t be back tonight so tell Sammie to put everything in the safe and lock up, would you?”

Mika ended the call and paced a bit more as Drake and I watched him with what I’m sure were matching anxiously curious expressions. He rubbed his hand over his bald head then eased back onto the bed.

“James’s connections found something disturbing. Seems Jordon Cartwright isn’t the man we approved and welcomed into Genesis. That guy is home in bed sleeping, or rather, he was. The animal that did this to you is Dennis McCollum. Seems old Dennis and Jordon look enough alike to be twins. Dennis stole Jordon’s identity, including all his financial and personal information. Jordon, the real Jordon, has been trying to find Dennis for a couple of years. Anyway, that’s how Dennis was able to breeze through our vetting process. Bastard set us up from the get-go.” Mika placed his elbow on his knee and began massaging his forehead with his fingers and thumb.

“Need a pain pill?” I asked with a tiny smile.

“No. I need a forty-four magnum,” Mika growled.

“So that little motherfucker played us all, huh?” Drake groused.

“Listen, if it hadn’t been me, he would have eventually found another sub to abuse,” I interjected.

“It still shouldn’t have been you,” Drake hissed.

“And it’s not your fault,” I hissed right back. “It’s nobody’s fault, goddammit!”

With his head still resting on his fingertips, Mika turned and looked at me, arching his brows at my outburst.

“Well it’s not!” I huffed.

“Yes. I think her ass had better heal quickly.” Mika laughed.

“See? And you thought I was overexaggerating!” Drake maintained.

“Overexaggerating about what?” I asked. They’d talked about me?

“Your smart mouth!” they both said in unison.

“Isn’t it time for my pain pill?” I snapped with a surly pout.

They both began to laugh, and Drake nodded his head. “I need to get back to the club. Trevor and I will come by in the morning to check on you. Will you be all right through the night or do you want us to drive back and stay over?”

“No need, brother. I’m staying with her,” Mika announced, still chucking.

Drake’s face went momentarily slack. He opened his mouth to say something, but Mika interrupted him.

“Don’t even think it!” Mika warned.

“No. I know. I mean...I’m not.” Drake nodded. “Okay, well if you need anything in the night, give me a shout, all right?”

Mika reassured him he would. Drake bent down and kissed my cheek. “I love you, Julianna.”

“I love you too, Moses.” I smiled. “Thank you for everything.”

As both men left the room, I attempted to lean over and retrieve the pain pills from the nightstand, but couldn’t quite reach them. Slowly inching toward the side of the bed, I stretched and almost rolled off the mattress.

“Just what the
hell
do you think you’re doing?” Mika thundered from the doorway.

“I was getting my pain pills,” I answered, issuing a look of challenge.

“Woman, you do
not
want to piss me off.” Mika plucked up the bottle, shook out two horse-sized tablets, and placed them in the palm of my hand. I washed down the pills with the rest of my tea and eased back against the pillows.

“What happens if I piss you off?” I asked, trying not to smile.

“Keep pushing and find out.” Mika flashed me a feral, evil-laced smile.

Nibbling on my lip, I raised my brows. “That’s okay. I think I’m done pushing.”

“Novel idea.”

I flashed a look of innocence his way, but he wasn’t buying it. He merely shook his head and laughed. That gooey timbre reverberated off the walls and penetrated my bones. The muscles on his neck protruded as his rock-hard abdomen flexed. Christ, but the man was potent, gorgeous and bursting with sex appeal. I could stare at him for the next millennium and still not get my fill.

“You certainly know how to keep a Dom on his toes, young lady.”

“I’m not all that young, you know.”

An awkward silence filled the room. Mika seemed a tad bit nervous. “Are you comfortable in my shirt, or would you like to change into your pajamas?”

I nodded. “I’m okay in the shirt, thank you.” Oh, hell was I ever comfortable in his shirt. Too much so. It smelled like him, and it was all I could do to keep from drawing it to my nose and inhaling his erotic cinnamon scent.

“Do you need anything else? A trip to the bathroom? A glass of water? Anything?”

“No, Mika. I’m fine. Thank you.” I was somewhat embarrassed that he’d asked if I had to use the bathroom. Silly of me, I know, but it was such a private thing.

“Okay, the house is locked up.” A look of anxiety flashed in his eyes before he shook his head and looked at me. “I’m going to take my jeans off and climb into bed with you.”

He exhaled deep and began unzipping his jeans. If I’d not been such a chicken-shit, I would have offered to peel them off him with my tongue.

“Please don’t be nervous. I’m not going to attempt to do anything sexual with you, but I’m sporting a hell of a hard-on, again.” His lips were drawn in a tight line. “You do this to me all the time, girl. But I’ve already promised that I’ll be a perfect gentleman. You have my word on that.” His face reflected the solemnness of his vow as he tugged his T-shirt over his head.

But what if I want you to do something sexual, need you to?
I silently yearned as I gazed at his massive sculpted chest and stomach.
What if I want to trace every contour of your glorious body with my tongue? You wouldn’t stop me, would you?

“I trust you’ll be a perfect gentleman, Mika.” Flashing him a confident smile, I looked away just as my eyes reached the waistband of his gray boxer briefs. I tried to focus on the blankets because I knew if I looked at his crotch, I’d be drooling, begging, and pawing at him like a nymphomaniac.

I needed to remain safely encased behind my imaginary walls. Big, thick, honkin’ walls. Walls that were hopefully sturdy enough to withstand the myriad of needful, sexually hungry emotions careening through my mind and body. As Mika eased beneath the covers, his torso twisted and he extinguished the bedside lamp.

“Come lay against me, Julianna. You have more stitches on your right butt cheek than the left. Swing your right leg over my hip and maybe you’ll be comfortable enough to sleep.”

Moving like a turtle, I eased into the position he’d suggested, amazed to discover it actually eased some of the throbbing. But the heat emanating from his crotch and burning my upper thigh was sweet agony. I swallowed a moan of delight and was set more ablaze as he slid his arm beneath my shoulders and eased my head onto his chiseled chest.

“Wake me if you need anything in the night, okay?”

“I will.” I nodded when what I really wanted to do was press my lips against his hard chest and grant him a tiny show of appreciation for his tender loving care.

Right. Bullshit!

I wanted to feel his warm skin against my lips and tongue to see if he tasted as sweet as he smelled. My lips twitched as I fought the desire. I wished the pain pills would kick in and make me fall asleep, or at the very least ease the temptation to molest him.

“Mika?”

“Yes?”

“Talk to me. Tell me about yourself,” I asked tentatively.

“There’s not much to tell,” he answered a bit too quickly.

Was he nervous or had I crossed a line?

“You’ve watched me at the club for God knows how long. You’ve seen me in every situation imaginable, good and bad. I know you’ve witnessed a lot of behavior I now wish you hadn’t. You know almost everything there is to know about me, but I don’t know anything about you.”

“Jesus, Julianna. You’re unbelievably manipulative, but you already know that, don’t you?”

A deviant little chuckle rose from my throat.

“Yeah, just by the sound of that laugh, you’re well aware of every button you push.”

I could tell he was shaking his head in the darkness of the room.

“Where to start? Well, I’m thirty-one and I know you’re twenty-six. I retired from Wall Street and opened Genesis. My father’s family emigrated from Haiti to escape the oppressive poverty there and once in the US, my grandparents worked hard and grew prosperous—very prosperous. That was extremely difficult back then with segregation and all. They became US citizens and raised my father with a staunch work ethic, which he still has to this day. It’s served him well, and he is highly successful, thankfully, without the prejudice and stigma my grandparents had to endure.”

“You’re proud of your family. I can hear it in your voice,” I sleepily mumbled.

“Very much so. My mother was from Sweden. She had the palest alabaster skin and her eyes were blue as the sky. Her hair was glistening blonde, and it would catch the sunlight in such a way that she literally glowed.”

I could feel the warmth and love he held for his mother in his voice. “So that explains your beautiful milk-chocolate skin and breathtaking amber eyes.” I whispered as my lids drooped, heavily.

He softly cleared his throat and inhaled deeply. He captured my hand and pulled it up to his chest, cupping it tenderly beneath his. My eyes closed as the pain meds began working, and I began to drift off to sleep.

But lying so romantically in his arms, I didn’t want to succumb to sleep. I didn’t want to miss a single moment curled up against his warm, steely body. I wanted to lie there all night as his deep voice echoed inside his massive chest, resonating in my ear.

Time could have frozen then and there and I would have wished for nothing more the rest of my life. Being suspended for all eternity nuzzled upon his chest was pure heaven. I tried to force my eyes open, but they felt as if someone had sewn them shut.

“I’m glad you found me,” I murmured. “Even though you told me you couldn’t.”

“What?” Mika asked curiously.

“My dreams,” I slurred. “You’ve been haunting me forever.”

Mika stopped talking while his rhythmic breathing coaxed me deeper into the murky liquid depths of sleep. I vaguely remember him speaking my name, but I was too far gone to respond.

“Vanessa. Dammit, Vanessa. I know you’ve sent her to me. I see you in every fucking thing about her. But she’s not you. Why are you doing this to me? It’s so hard to keep fighting. I’ve been fighting my desire for her for so fucking long. Why? Why can’t I close off these desperate feelings and be content to savor my memories of you? Why are you making it hurt so goddamn bad...still?”

His words were like fringes of lace in a tunnel far away as he whispered a plea to the one he’d lost so long ago. The ache in his voice pierced my heart with a staggering pain. I tried to force myself to listen to him, to hold tight to the edges of darkness, but it swirled me down and sleep claimed me.

~*~

I woke sprawled across a pillow, alone in my bed. Vanessa didn’t visit my dreams as I lay nestled in Mika’s arms. And while it was nice to have a
real
name for my mysterious dream woman, it unnerved me that she was more than just a dream. She was a ghost. A ghost matchmaker of sorts. Unfortunately, all her emissary tactics were for nothing. I didn’t need to be an armchair psychologist to understand that Mika would always look at me as a reflection of her. Sadly, it would be a painful reflection, a knife to the heart for all he once had and lost.

Trying to clear the drug-induced haze glazing my mind, I rolled over. Burning pain enveloped my butt cheeks as I clenched my teeth and hissed in agony.

“Son of a bitch, that hurts! I’d like to find that motherfucker and flay his ass open with that goddamn razor blade flogger,” I railed through clenched teeth.

“Such language.” Mika tsked from the doorway, his hands fisted around a tray of food.

“Ooops, I didn’t know you were um...standing there.” I blushed like a child who’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“No need to apologize. I feel the same way, but I’d like to do a lot more than simply slice the bastard’s ass open.” Mika’s confession was edged in anger as he placed the mountainous tray of food on the foot of the bed. “I’d like to put a bullet through his brain.”