Embers of Love (34 page)

“Sissy’s gone home for the evening, but she kept a plate warming for you on the stove. If you’d rather just sit down and eat it here, I can get you some hot coffee, as well.”

He smiled. “Can you sit with me?”

She felt taken aback for a moment. Nevertheless, she nodded and motioned to the small kitchen table. “I’ve already eaten, but I’ll share your company. Why don’t we just stay in here rather than go into the dining room?”

“I’d like that.” He took a seat while Deborah gathered a cup and the coffee pot. “This is most likely strong. It’s been sitting there since supper.” She poured a cup and put it in front of him.

Returning the pot to the stove, Deborah next grabbed the towel-covered plate that Sissy had left for the doctor. She removed the cloth and placed the food in front of Dr. Clayton. “I’ll bring the silver.”

“This looks delicious,” he commented.

“It was,” Deborah replied, laughing. “Sissy made the most delicious ham loaf with black grape glaze. I think you’re going to like it.”

She returned with the silverware and a linen cloth, then took the seat opposite him. “I know you’re worried about G. W.”

“I am, but it serves your family no good to say so. His unconscious state is a mixed blessing and curse. The longer he remains asleep, the more rest his body will get. If he has broken his back or caused grave injury to the spine, such rest will be best. On the other hand, his unconscious state doesn’t bode well for injury that may have been done to the brain.”

Deborah nodded. “I wish I could have done more for him.”

“You helped him a great deal, as did the men at the logging camp. Stopping the blood flow and getting him help as soon as possible were the best things they could have done. You were wise to start cleaning the wound and get him set out on the table. It made a good surgery room.”

“There is so much I don’t know. So much I wish I did.”

“So why not learn?”

She looked at him and shook her head. “Women doctors are hardly tolerated down here. Healers are one thing, and midwives are obviously expected to be women. However, there is little acceptance of women getting an education in any field. Certainly not medicine.”

His right brow rose. “And this would stop you?”

“Well, I certainly can’t go traipsing off to the university again. Philadelphia allows for women doctors, but the time away from here would be difficult for my family. Especially now.” She shook her head. “Goodness, but now G. W. is incapacitated and Lizzie is expecting a baby. There are just too many responsibilities.”

“So why leave? Why not stay here and train with me?”

She looked at him in surprise. “I . . . uh . . . don’t know what to say.”

He laughed and reached for a piece of corn bread. “You could say yes. You could even say that the idea fills you with great joy, because the company would be so agreeable.”

Deborah could hardly draw a breath. She felt an overwhelming rush of emotions. Dr. Clayton became quite serious – all hint of humor fading from his expression. He watched her face intently, leaving Deborah unable to look away.

“I’m the only one around here who truly knows the potential you display. I’m one of the very few who recognize your intelligence as something special – something valuable. Others tell you how astounded they are with your ability to think, when what they really mean is that you confuse them. I tell you I’m impressed because I am. I can appreciate what you have to give – what you can yet learn.”

Deborah tucked her hands under the table to keep Dr. Clayton from seeing how they were trembling. The very thought of spending hours each day with him caused her to feel rather dizzy. Was this what love was all about? Had she fallen in love with Dr. Clayton?

Maybe I’m just infatuated with the idea of becoming a doctor
. She frowned. Maybe that’s all it was for him, as well. She knew he had concerns about helping his family, just as she had. Maybe he was actually hoping to train a replacement.

She opened her mouth to comment when Mother came rushing into the room. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re still here. It’s G. W.” Tears were streaming down her face.

Deborah jumped to her feet. “What’s wrong?”

Her mother laughed and wiped at her tears. “He’s awake.”

–––––––

There was no talk of the missed Christmas dance. Deborah hadn’t truly cared about the event to begin with, and now that G. W. was painfully recovering, she had even less interest. Nothing more was said about her learning to become a doctor under Christopher Clayton’s tutelage. She began to think perhaps his comments had simply been offered to give her something to concentrate on besides her brother’s uncertain future.

As the holidays approached, the atmosphere in the house lightened and cheered. Mother wasn’t decorating in her usual holiday fashion, but Sissy still worked to bake many of their favorite treats. The delicate aroma of warm yeast breads and fruitcake filled the air, and visitors were on hand daily to sample the fare. Most came to see how G. W. was doing and even to bring an occasional Christmas gift. Lizzie spent her days nursing her husband and quietly making baby clothes. She seemed almost hesitant to discuss G. W.’s condition with Deborah, for fear of somehow calling disaster upon them.

Mother invited Dr. Clayton to join them for Christmas dinner, but an unexpected baby delivery kept him in Perkinsville. Deborah regretted that he couldn’t join them, but she enjoyed her family nevertheless.

As the New Year came and went, Deborah found herself growing more and more restless. Everyone was busy with their own interests and duties; Sissy was very nearly managing all of the chores while Mother helped Lizzie to tend to G. W. when needed. Otherwise, Mother was often off visiting Miriam or speaking to Mr. Perkins on behalf of the townsfolk. The acts of violence against the black folks had increased, and Mother felt quite passionate about helping put an end to such things.

Rains affected production in the logging camp as January progressed. Rob and Arjan were often found in discussion at the kitchen table. Uncle Arjan had hired five men prior to Christmas, and now he was considering arranging for at least two more employees. Added to this, the turpentine company in Beaumont had come to negotiate a deal to harvest resin from the pines prior to their cutting. It was a fascinating turn of events that promised more money for nothing more than allowing their workers to come in and set up their process in forested areas that were not scheduled to be cut for months.

Deborah tried to keep herself busy with the logging books. She faithfully recorded the information of each new employee and arranged their pay in script and cash as Uncle Arjan dictated. In the back of her mind, however, she continued to think of what Dr. Clayton had said. Could it be possible for her to learn medicine and use it to benefit her community?

Deciding to check on G. W. and give Lizzie a break, Deborah left her office work and went to the couple’s bedroom. The door was open, and she could see that G. W. had just finished lunch. She smiled and gave him a wave.

“May I come in and visit?”

G. W. grunted a reply, but Deborah wasn’t at all sure whether it was in the affirmative or negative. She decided to take it as an invitation, however. Lizzie removed his dinner tray and smiled.

“His leg is aching something fierce today.”

“So why are you smiling?”

Tears came unbidden to Lizzie’s eyes. “He’s able to feel it.”

Deborah immediately understood. The swelling to his spine was lessening. “I’m not glad he’s hurting, just glad he’s feeling.” She looked at her brother. “You are quite fortunate, you know.”

“So folks keep tellin’ me.” He sounded less than convinced.

“Why don’t you go take a rest, Lizzie? You can lie down in my bedroom. Your old bed is still there. I’ll sit with G. W. for a time.”

“Yes, go on. I want to sleep anyway, so after I get rid of Deborah I’ll take a bit of a rest myself,” G. W. declared.

Lizzie hesitated only a moment. “I think I will. I’m sure G. W. will enjoy talking to you. Just come fetch me if he needs somethin’.”

Deborah laughed. “There you go again, sounding like a Texan. Next thing you know you’ll be drawlin’.”

They both laughed at this. Deborah took a seat beside her brother’s bed and studied his face for a moment. He was healing on the outside, but he still seemed troubled. Perhaps it was nothing more than his boredom with recuperation.

“So you seem rather . . . well, unhappy?” Deborah half commented, half asked.

“You’d be unhappy, too, if you were facing an uncertain future.” His tone was harsh, but Deborah didn’t take offense.

“Even the doc can’t tell me how long I’ll be laid up or if I’ll ever recover enough to go back to workin’. If I can’t work, how in the world can I support my family? It ain’t like there’s a lot of jobs for cripples.”

Deborah nodded but refused to pity him. “I suppose you’re right. I can’t see you climbing trees again. Certainly no time soon.”

“Exactly. I tried to explain that to Uncle Arjan, and he just kept saying, ‘You’ll be back in time.’ ” G. W.’s hard façade seemed to soften just a bit. “We both know that ain’t true, but he can’t bring himself to say it.”

“So what if you had another job to do – one you could even do while you were sick in bed?”

He looked at her as if she’d gone crazy. “And what would that be?”

“What if I trained you to take over the office?”

“I can’t read and write well enough for that. I’m not so bad with figures, but even there I don’t have the same kind of learnin’ you have.”

“And I suppose you aren’t willing to be taught?” She looked at him quizzically and shrugged. “Maybe you think such things are a waste of time?”

“Hardly. But I’m not so smart as you.”

Deborah shook her head. “That’s nonsense. You aren’t as formally educated as I am, but you are definitely as smart – if not smarter. I could teach you to read and write, as well as keep the books. G. W., it would give you something to fall back on if the worst is realized.”

He considered this for several long minutes. Deborah said nothing, allowing him to ponder his words. He was a proud man, but hopefully not too proud to allow himself to be taught.

“I guess I never thought about learnin’ anything more. Didn’t seem practical.”

She could understand that and nodded. “There wasn’t time. Father needed you and Rob to join him in the camp. That’s why I thought I could best serve the family by going to school and learning all that I could to benefit the business. I always thought that’s what Father wanted me to do. Now I realize he was just giving in to my desires. He thought it was what I wanted.”

G. W. met her gaze. “But it ain’t?”

She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I don’t think it is. G. W., I convinced myself that this was what was expected of me. So I gave up any other thought and turned my mind to it.”

“And now?”

“Now I see that this could be the perfect answer to your situation. The office and books have to be kept in order. The business end of logging is just as critical as the physical labor, especially now with the turpentine arrangement.”

“I reckon I can see that well enough.” He frowned and fixed her with an intent expression. “And you really think you could teach me?”

Deborah wanted to shout for joy. The question assured her that G. W. was willing to put his mind to this new venture. “I know I can. You have a quick ability to reason and learn. You figure things out on your own all the time. Now you’ll simply have me to help you understand what’s what. Not to mention you already have a strong foundation. You can read some, and you know your letters and numbers. I think the rest will come quite easily.”

“You sure about this?”

She nodded and got to her feet. “Why don’t we get started?”

“I was going to take a nap,” he protested.

Deborah laughed. “You can take a nap in twenty minutes.”

–––––––

Christopher didn’t know quite what to think when Deborah showed up at his office. It had been nearly a week since he’d been to the Vandermark house, and he worried that perhaps G. W. had taken an unexpected turn.

“Is something wrong?” he asked when she knocked on his open door.

“I suppose you are the only one who can help me determine the answer to that.”

He looked at her for a moment, then motioned to the chair. “Have a seat. What can I do for you? Are you ill?” She certainly didn’t look sick. She looked radiant, the rich dark green of her gown reminiscent of the surrounding forests.

“I want a straight answer, Dr. Clayton. I don’t want you worrying about hurting my feelings or causing me pain. Just a simple yes or no will do.”

“I will happily give it, if you will just ask the question.” He sat down. “I’m still not very good at figuring out a person’s unspoken thoughts. Especially those of a woman.”

She folded her hands precisely and nodded. “Very well. Were you serious about training me to assist you?”

Christopher couldn’t have been more pleased. He knew the matter was quite complicated, given his family situation and all, but at least this way . . . this way he could spend time with her. If not every day, then at least every week. Looking up, he found her staring at him – waiting for his response. She looked almost like a patient preparing for bad news. He couldn’t resist making her wait for an answer as she had done with him.

“No. I cannot say that I was at all serious about training an assistant.”

Her eyes widened and her cheeks reddened. She lowered her gaze and seemed to consider this for a moment. “I thought perhaps as much.” She looked up, trying hard to appear as though she had her emotions under control. “Very well.” Getting to her feet, she headed for the door.

“Don’t you want to know my reasons?”

She turned and shook her head. “I think I know well enough. You were simply trying to take my mind off of G. W.’s serious condition.”

“Not at all.” He got to his feet and came to stand just inches from her. Without asking permission, he took hold of her hand. “I can’t train you to simply be my assistant. You are much too intelligent for that. I want to teach you to be a doctor in your own right.”