Embers of Love (27 page)

On the ride into town she contemplated how best to handle the matter. Perhaps she’d just tell Dr. Clayton that with the increase of work the logging company had taken on, there would be no time for reading. She frowned.

I can’t lie to him. It wouldn’t be right. I’ve been able to talk to him
about most everything. I’ll just tell him the truth
.

Sissy looked at Deborah and narrowed her dark eyes. “You shore look upset about somethin’. You comin’ down sick?”

“No, I was just thinking about the work that needs to be done.” At least that wasn’t a lie. “I’m fine, honestly.”

“Uh-huh.”

Deborah had never been able to fool the older woman, so with a sigh, Deborah gave Sissy a hint of a smile. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out where life is taking me. I want to do what’s pleasing to God, but I’m starting to wonder exactly what it is He wants me to do.”

Sissy nodded. “Jest ask Him, child. He’s faithful.”

“I guess part of the problem is, I thought I knew what He wanted. All of my life, I’ve seen the lack of education keep Father and the boys from making a better way for themselves. So many people around here can’t read – they have so little. I just wanted to help my family. Maybe I was wrong.”

“Helpin’ folks is good – ain’t never knowed it to be wrong. You folks always done well enough, Miss Deborah.”

“But I want so much more for them.”

“Mebbe they didn’t want more. Could be they were jest happy with life like it was.”

Deborah thought about that for a few minutes. Perhaps Sissy was right. It was possible that Deborah, in her travels and education, had imposed her own dreams over those of her parents. But didn’t everyone want a better life?

The question warred within her. Her father had always seemed happy enough. Rutger Vandermark was not known for complaining. Maybe that was because he had little to complain about.

Still, as good as that thought was, Deborah felt a sense of confusion. Since becoming old enough to think about others before herself, she had been driven to help her family find better success. She had thought it was up to her to learn whatever was necessary to help them further the business. Was it possible she had wasted her life seeking the wrong thing?

Sissy hummed an old hymn and kept the horse moving down the road. She seemed quite content, yet Deborah considered the woman’s life difficult. Most white folks looked down on the people of color. The war had scarred and damaged the country. Even for the slaves who had been freed, Deborah saw fear and desperation. Everything they’d known for generations had been stripped from them. It wasn’t so different from when they had been captured and forced into slavery to begin with.

The slaves had been set free, but it wasn’t a true freedom. Even Sissy chose to come west to continue working for the Vandermarks. It was a comfort, Deborah had heard the older woman say. A comfort to have an understanding of the folks you were working with. Life had changed so little for Sissy, as was true of many blacks.

Deborah shook her head, but Sissy didn’t seem to notice. “Are you happy, Sissy?”

“Gracious – I’m blessed through and through, Miss Deborah. Why you ask?”

Deborah shrugged. “I just wondered. You always seem happy.” She smiled. “It encourages me.”

Sissy laughed. “It be the joy of the Lord. Never forget God’s joy, Miss Deborah.”

Nodding, Deborah found herself longing for the confidence and happiness that Sissy had found in God. She supposed that Sissy’s situation had left her with few choices. She could forsake God, thinking Him cruel for allowing her oppression, or she could turn to God for strength.

Sissy began humming again and then broke into song. “ ‘There is a balm in Gilead, to make the wounded whole; there is a balm in Gilead, to heal the sin sick soul. Sometimes I feels discouraged, and think my work’s in vain, but then the Holy Spirit revives my soul again. Oh, there is a balm in Gilead . . .’ ”

She stopped and gave Deborah a big smile. “God always knows what dis old woman needs. Hard times or good,” she said, as if reading Deborah’s questioning mind, “He be a balm to my soul.”

“But do you find yourself longing for more?”

Sissy chuckled. “Folks can always be longin’ for more, Miss Deborah. It’s the learnin’ to be content what gets the soul through. Whether there be more or less – the Lord is my strength.”

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the edge of town. It was good to see the bustling activity that suggested Perkinsville was very nearly back to normal. Deborah climbed down from the wagon almost before Sissy had brought it to a stop.

“I’ll meet you back here shortly. I promise I won’t be long.” Sissy nodded and set the brake.

Deborah hurried down the still-muddy road and made her way to Dr. Clayton’s. There were several people waiting outside the establishment, and a half dozen more greeted her when she entered.

Deborah greeted each person before approaching the office door. She peered inside but found no one. Slipping into the room, she closed the door behind her. No doubt Dr. Clayton was busy with a patient. She’d just write him a note and leave the journals.

Sitting at the desk, Deborah quickly located some paper and took up the ink pen. She thought for a moment on what she’d say, then began to write. She’d gotten no further than “Dear Dr. Clayton” when the examination room door opened and the man himself accompanied Sally Stevens from the room. In her arms was a small infant.

Dr. Clayton’s face lit up when he spied her. “Miss Vandermark. This is a pleasant surprise.”

Sally turned and smiled at Deborah. She held the sleeping baby up for Deborah to see. “Come meet my daughter Matilda. Doc says she’s perfect.”

Deborah got up from the desk and came to where Sally stood. “Oh, she’s beautiful. I’m so happy for you.”

“I was afraid John might be disappointed that she wasn’t a boy, but he said he’s mighty pleased.”

“And how could he not be?” Dr. Clayton said. “Now, Sally, you remember what I told you about keeping things clean.”

“I will. You can count on that.” She looked to Deborah. “You’ll let your mama know ’bout Matilda, won’tcha?”

“Of course.” Deborah knew it wouldn’t have taken any longer than attending church on Sunday for everyone to be caught up on the happenings of this small community, but she’d share the news just the same.

Sally left the office and Dr. Clayton turned to Deborah. “What brings you here?”

“I brought back your journals. I was just leaving you a note.”

“Do you want to look through the stack and see what’s there that you haven’t already read?”

“No thank you. I’ve decided to put medicine aside and focus on my job.” As he opened his mouth to respond, she hurried to change the subject. “What happened with the typhoid epidemic? Did we lose more folks?”

His expression revealed he wished to return to the subject of her decision, but he addressed her question instead. “We had two more deaths, for a total of ten. Everyone is on the mend now, and hopefully there won’t be another outbreak. Folks have started following my instructions on cleanliness and boiling water.”

“Good. I’m so glad to hear that. I don’t suppose you’ll ever convince Mrs. Foster, but at least others can see the good of it.”

“On the contrary.” He opened the examination room door and revealed Margaret Foster wiping down the exam table. “Mrs. Foster has become a great asset. Once she recovered, she began to work with me.”

Deborah tried not to look too surprised, but she couldn’t imagine the two people working together. “Hello, Mrs. Foster,” she managed to say when the older woman made her way over.

“Afternoon. Your family escape the typhoid?”

“Yes, ma’am. We’re all doing just fine. I must say, I never expected to find you working with Dr. Clayton.”

The woman nodded. “God done a work in me, to be sure. My pride nearly cost me my life – other folks, too. Now I’ve mended my ways. Helpin’ here is my way of makin’ it up to the doctor.”

“Like I told you before, Mrs. Foster, your apology was enough. Please call the next patient.” Dr. Clayton turned to Deborah. “So as you can see, I’m doing much better than the last time we spoke.”

“I’ve been praying that God would send someone to assist you.” Deborah held further comments about never imagining it would be Margaret Foster who’d answer that need.

“Well, He certainly did that. Now, however, I’d best get back to work. As you saw out front, folks are making up for lost time.” He grinned and escorted her to the side door. “It’ll be easier to go this way.”

Deborah turned to meet his gaze. She felt a strange emptiness at his dismissal. He obviously didn’t need her – not that she’d expected that he did. “I’m glad folks have come around to seeing the good you have to offer.”

He smiled. “Me too. I hated sitting around, taking Mr. Perkins’s money without earning it. Guess those days are behind me.”

As Mrs. Foster brought in another patient, Deborah knew there would be no opportunity to speak her mind. She supposed it wasn’t really necessary that Dr. Clayton understand her situation. After all, he seemed perfectly content to work on without her.

She bid him farewell and made her way back to the commissary without so much as a backward glance.
I’m doing the right thing,
she told herself.
The necessary thing.
Then why did it leave her feeling so uncomfortable?

Sissy was already waiting in the wagon when Deborah climbed up. Neither made a comment as Sissy guided the horses toward the road home.

“Wait! Deborah Vandermark, don’t you even think to leave without first speaking to me.”

It was Harriet Decker. The woman was positively huffing and puffing like a steam engine as she bounded out from the boardinghouse. She came to a stop on Deborah’s side of the wagon.

“Come down here immediately,” the woman ordered.

Deborah looked at Sissy. “Excuse me.” Climbing down, Deborah wondered exactly what she should say to the woman. She didn’t have long to contemplate, however.

“I’ve heard the most appalling rumor – that my Elizabeth ran off and married your brother. Is it true?”

“It is.” Deborah said nothing more, feeling the need to guard her words.

“She’s already married to Mr. Albright! She cannot give herself to another.” The woman’s voice seemed edged with hysteria.

“She is not married to Mr. Albright,” Deborah replied. “Mr.

Decker arrived a short time back. He announced that he’d checked into the matter, and there was no real marriage. He secured Lizzie an annulment, just to satisfy any further protests, and that left her free to marry my brother.”

“This is preposterous!” Harriet waggled a finger in Deborah’s face. “This will not be tolerated.”

Deborah shrugged. “Lizzie and G. W. are man and wife. The ceremony was legally completed in Lufkin and witnessed by the family. Your ex-husband even gave Lizzie away, so you see it was all done properly . . . this time.”

Something between a moan and a wail broke from Mrs. Decker’s lips. “I cannot believe how he goes out of his way to do me harm. You have no idea what you’ve done.”

“Lizzie is the one who has stood up for herself and made her own way – just as you’ve always suggested she should. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to make my way home before the light is gone.” Deborah stepped up and seated herself in the wagon.

“This isn’t the end of the matter,” Harriet Decker called out. “Mr. Albright will never allow for this.”

“Mr. Albright will need to take it up with Lizzie’s husband, then. Good day, Mrs. Decker.”

Sissy snapped the lines and the horses continued past the boardinghouse. Deborah shook her head. Mrs. Decker wasn’t known to back down from a fight, and this time would surely be no exception.

C
HAPTER
24

Lizzie had known her mother would waste little time before making a scene at the Vandermark house. After Deborah reported their encounter in Perkinsville, Lizzie had steeled herself for what was sure to come next. When her mother and Stuart arrived the next day, Lizzie invited them into the front room as if nothing were amiss. She allowed her mother to be the one to bring up the topic. Which, of course, she did.

“I want to hear the truth from your own lips,” her mother began.

“The truth of what?” Lizzie questioned, as if genuinely taken off guard.

Her mother’s face turned several shades of red before she very nearly exploded her declaration. “You know perfectly well what I’m talking about. The matter of you marrying the Vandermark man while already being married to Mr. Albright.”

“Oh. Well, the truth of that is quite simple. Stuart and I were never legally bound. Father checked into it and discussed it with some of the best legal minds in Philadelphia. Even so, he figured you might feel better if a formal annulment was filed. He did just that. I have copies of the papers, if you’d like to see them.”

“Where is your father? I’d like to take this up with him. No doubt this is all part of some underhanded scheme of his. Legalities are never resolved so easily, and certainly not in a manner to benefit a woman.”

“We parted in Lufkin after the storm passed through. He needed to get back to his family. He said you could contact him once you returned home if you had questions.”

“You are a selfish girl. You have no idea what harm you’ve caused.” Lizzie’s mother turned to Stuart. “What of your father? Can he come to our aid? Can this situation be reversed?”

Stuart narrowed his eyes as he looked hard at Lizzie. “I would not have it reversed, madam. I do not want the leavings of another man.”

Lizzie felt her cheeks grow hot, but she held her tongue. She was glad G. W. was away working; otherwise Stuart might well have suffered a broken jaw.

“Oh, this is most outrageous. You had no thought except for yourself. I cannot believe you would cause so much suffering, Elizabeth Cady Decker.”

“Vandermark.”

Her mother’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t care what you call yourself; you had a marriage first to Mr. Albright.”

“And he clearly does not want me. He said so himself. Not that he has a choice in the matter.” She smiled and got to her feet. “I suppose now you will want to return home?”