Embarkment 2577 (29 page)

His tone of voice made it clear he was much worse off
than I thought. “Okay. Let’s call her ‘robot bitch’ from now on.”

Had he been fighting this ever since we came back?
Alone, for all these weeks? “I don’t know what Eve did to you, but this has
something to do with her. I’m sure it can be undone.”

“I have run countless self tests, but I can’t find a
thing.”

“Maybe it’s like a Trojan horse, or a worm.” Computer
viruses seemed unheard of in this day and age, but he would understand.

“Maybe.”

There were people much smarter than me on the ship,
and there should be a fair chance to get the problem solved. “Maybe tomorrow,
we can ask Jia’Lyn to take a little look-see.”

He rolled his eyes and I could see the tension under
the surface.

“Please. Do it for me.”

“Maybe. You should get some sleep.”

I couldn’t hide the suspicion in my voice. “Why? What
are you going to do?”

Adam answered dryly, “Don’t worry; odds are I’m still
here when you wake up. I’m going to build something.”

I mumbled, “Okay,” and he got out of bed, but
hesitated for a moment. I thought he was going to say something, but he changed
his mind and disappeared.

Go back to sleep? What a joke. I lay tossing and
turning for a long time. It would be comforting to go to him, but I shouldn’t
press my luck. I drifted off eventually, into a world of bad dreams.

I woke up hours later to the smell of
coffee and croissants. Adam came in with a breakfast tray for me, but didn’t
sit down. He kept his distance and sounded absentminded. “It’s getting worse.”

He tossed something over and it landed on the bed.
“Keep that with you. You’d have to be fairly close, but it should shut me down.
Get Jia’Lyn if you want to, but I doubt it’ll do you much good.”

The faith he put in me gave me a lump in my throat. He
told me about being deactivated once, and it sounded like dying. He just made
me responsible for his future, and I would have to prove myself worthy.

I didn’t want food. Every bite grew in my mouth, but I
nibbled it anyway. He brought it for me in spite of his own problems, and
probably just barely avoided smashing the replicator in the process. “Computer,
where’s Commander Jia’Lyn?”

“The Commander is in Engineering.”

Good. The bridge would have been a problem.
Engineering might not be my second home, but I could go there without being
thrown out.

I stepped into the living room with a hopeful smile,
but Adam was nowhere in sight. He probably holed up in his office.

By now, I had forgotten about the security detail
outside the door, and yelped when four guards aimed their guns at me. “Oh my
god, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry, ma’am. Just doing our jobs.”

They seemed a little too amused.

Jia’Lyn waved and jogged over as soon as I entered.
“Hey, how’s it going? Are you guys doing okay?”

“Yes and no. I need help.”

“Did he hurt you again? Be honest, Alex. I wasn’t sure
locking you up together was a good idea.”

“No! Of course not. But there’s something wrong with
him.”

It was a matter of minutes before I stood in the
elevator once more, accompanied by both Jia’Lyn and our Captain. At least
people took me seriously when I said something was wrong…

When we entered, Adam stood looking out the window. He
glanced back over his shoulder, keeping his face under complete control. It was
difficult to believe rampant emotions could be his problem.

“Could I have a word with my wife?”

Blake shrugged, and they both stepped outside. Adam
turned around and I hurried up to him.

“Don’t touch me.”

I
wanted
to touch him. I wanted to kiss him and
feel the comfort of his arms around me, but if he said no, it was no.

“I don’t trust myself, and you shouldn’t either. Do
you have the switch?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Don’t be afraid to use it. Let’s go.”

He headed for the door and I trotted after, but when
he was almost there, I stopped. “Adam, I love you.”

He paused and bent his neck a little, looking at the floor.
“I love you too. And right now, that’s what worries me.”

I didn’t have to ask what he meant. If anything would
make him lose control, it would involve me. Should I stay behind? No, he was
putting up with this because of me and I needed to be there.

Our little group didn’t meet anyone on the short walk
to the elevator. Adam took the lead, flanked by his superiors, and I trailed
behind. When he entered the lift, he turned and leaned his back against the
wall, fixing his eyes on me. I saw pain and desire. I wanted to touch him so
badly, but he had told me no.

I was closest to the door, and when we reached the
Engineering deck, I took a few steps into the corridor. I met a man who smiled
and said, “Good morning.”

I had no time to answer. Adam pushed past me, grabbed
the man, and shoved him up against the wall. Blake and Jia’Lyn stared; he went
from looking completely unemotional to threatening and violent in a split
second. “Don’t talk to my wife.”

Adam had lost control, and all the people on the ship
combined wouldn’t be able to force him back in line. I had the switch in my
pocket, but it disgusted me. “Adam, it’s okay. Let him go.”

He didn’t move, and I ran a hand over his arm. “Adam,
honey, I need you over here. He’s not important, let him go.”

My husband stared at his hands. The man clawed at
them, he probably didn’t get enough air, and I could relate to
that.
“I
need you to have faith in me. Come with me.”

I could almost see the willpower it took to release
the grip.

As soon as Adam no longer held him, the man collapsed
to the floor, coughing. I wanted to apologize, but it didn’t seem like the best
of ideas. I should probably stay quiet and hope we didn’t meet anyone else.

Luckily, the door wasn’t far away, and when I walked
towards it, Adam followed. Behind me, I heard Blake’s voice, “I need a medic.”

*****

Seeing hatches open in my husband’s head freaked me
out. He looked like a perfectly normal person, and all of a sudden, there were
wires and electronics. Jia’Lyn connected a thick cable to his neck and stuck a
probe into his ear. She glanced over at me, “This will take some time. Take a
seat.”

I obeyed and sat in silence, watching them. It was so
creepy, and I still wasn’t able to turn my gaze away.

“Does it hurt?”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “Not exactly, but
it’s cold. It feels like cold insects are crawling through my mind.”

Eerie. I reached out my hand, and he took it and
squeezed it. For the moment, all was well. Blake stepped in and eyed the scene.
“How are you doing?”

Jia’Lyn shrugged. “We’re looking for a code that could
be hidden in any of tens of thousands of programs, or in several of them. This
will take hours.”

Minutes ticked away. Maybe everything would be okay. I
was comfortable and sleepy, and completely unprepared when Adam jumped to his
feet and tore the probes out.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving.”

Blake stood in his way. “I can’t let you do that.”

Adam pushed the large human out of the way, so hard
Blake fell backwards. Jia’Lyn called out, “Don’t let him leave. We’ll never get
him back.”

“Adam, stay here with me.”

My voiced reached him and he glanced back. “I can’t.”

He marched for the door, and I imagined a trail of
destruction following him through the ship. There was only one thing to do; I
drew out the little box, squeezed my eyes shut, and pushed the button.

My husband fell to the floor like a broken doll, and
Blake staggered to his feet, coughing. There must still be some safety
protocols at work or he would be dead by now, but this was bad.

I stared at Adam’s lifeless body and slapped my hands
over my mouth. “I must be the worst wife ever.”

Jia’Lyn lifted her eyebrows and even her snakes looked
surprised. “Yeah, that’s what’s wrong with this day. You’re a bad wife. Bad,
bad wife.”

She laughed softly. It was a
little
funny, but
not enough to make me smile. She turned to Blake. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s get him up on that table.”

Adam looked peaceful lying there. What was worse,
being awake and tormented, or deactivated? Maybe the situation wasn’t all that
different from when I’d been unconscious and he waited by my side. “Do you
think he’s aware? Can he hear us?”

Jia’Lyn shook her head. “I doubt it. But to be honest,
we know very little about how he really works. I think he’s just as turned off
as a computer without power.”

She returned her attention to the terminal, but
several of her snakes still watched me.

I didn’t have anything to say, so I blurted out, “How
does it feel?”

“How does what feel?”

“Your hair… How does it feel to have snakes on your
head?”

She laughed. “I don’t know. How does it feel to have
hair?”

Good point. “If they’re watching me, can you see me?”

“Tell you what… this will take some time. Hours.
Let’s go grab some lunch and I’ll tell you all about it.”

Leave him? “I can’t do that. I mean… he never left
me.”

Her strong blue hand squeezed my shoulder. “You’re
right. He didn’t.”

When I originally arrived to the Bell, cold and dead,
Adam ignored his duties. He got away with it thanks to people covering for him,
but Ima said he drove her crazy, hovering around sickbay. Leaving him now when
roles were reversed was out of the question.

“If you want to stay, I’ll bring you something back.
How’s that sound?”

“That would be awesome.”

The way this day was going, Adam might wake up and
disappear the second we left him alone.

I sat there for a long time, holding my husband’s
hand. I talked to him, just in case he was able to hear me. Eventually all the
stress and fear from the last few weeks took its toll and I leaned forward,
resting my head against him. No one would know if I closed my eyes for just a
minute or so.

I rested on the verge of sleeping when the ship lost
its mind. Alarms blared, computer terminals flashed, and the Bell shook as
weapons’ systems fired randomly. I sat up, disoriented by the blinking lights,
trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

The ship tipped over to the side and I tumbled
headlong towards the wall. Adam freed himself from the cords tying him to the
computer, closed the hatches in his head, and jumped off the table to catch me
just before I hit the wall, all in one smooth movement.

I held on to him, and he pulled me towards the door,
keeping his balance even on the slanted floor. “We have to leave. The ship is
going to explode.”

He sounded distant. Did he even know where we were? He
hauled me into his arms and carried me along, giving me little choice but to
hold on to him.

“Adam, we can’t let that happen.”

At least the doors still worked; it opened and let us
into the corridor.

“You have to stop it. Think of all the people here, and
it’s our home. Adam, please.”

I didn’t think he heard me, but he paused and put me
down. He stared into my face from the other side of a great abyss. Then,
recognition came into his eyes and he nodded, grabbed my hand, and pulled me
back the way we came. “You’re right. Come, we must hurry.”

Just as I got the hang of running on the lopsided
floor, the ship rolled over to the other side. He regained his balance with
ease and half carried me through the main entrance to Engineering, into the huge
hall that housed the mainframe.

A number of people in uniform scurried around in near
panic. Adam pushed his way past everyone and stopped outside a large
enclosement, his fingers dancing over the keypad that gave access to the main
computer.

Someone shouted, “Commander, you can’t go in there,”
but he ignored them.

“See the breaker over there? I will count down from
three. I want you to pull that for me. We have to do it at the same time.”

As intimidating as the thing looked, I should at least
be able to do
that.

A second later, we broke power to the mainframe, and
the ship fell dark and silent. Emergency lights flickered on, and the dusk was
a welcome change to chaos.

Adam pulled me into his arms and held me tight. “It
will be alright.”

My husband was finally back and I clung to him,
oblivious of all the people around us.

By the time Jia’Lyn pulled the door open, the
commotion in the computer room had settled. Adam gave calm orders to the people
around us, manually getting vital systems up and running.