Elude (30 page)

Sergio had been pretty quiet. I expected him to be scowling; instead, he was laughing, his face bright, happy. My stomach clenched. I wanted him to be like that forever — and I had no way of securing his happiness, except for the plan I'd put into motion, the plan I wasn't even sure he would go along with.

It was a long shot.

But it was all I had.

"Nixon…" Sergio tossed some popcorn into his mouth. "…just think how much fun it will be to have Chase as the godfather…"

"Hey…" Trace looked around the room. "…where's Mil?"

"Movie." Chase released Trace and opened his arms. "She felt like we should have a movie night to celebrate a week since Andi and Serg have been home — oh, and the fact that nobody's been shot at."

"Throw a damn parade." Frank entered the kitchen, wine glass in hand. "Sergio, a word?"

Sergio's smile fell.

Damn.

"Sure." He cleared his throat. "No problem."

"Phoenix..." Frank nodded. "…you too."

Why did it feel like the parent had just come into the room only to end all the fun?

"Let's go." Tex helped me up from my chair. "Time for the movie."

Sergio walked over to me and kissed my head. "I'll be right in. Save me a seat."

"'Kay." I gripped his hand then released it and followed Tex out, but I didn't miss Phoenix's morose expression or the look of confusion on Sergio's. I had a sneaking suspicion my plan was already getting set into motion.

Not by way of me.

But by way of Luca.

Someone who wasn't even living anymore — carrying out his wishes.

Funny, we'd soon have that in common.

Sergio

FRANK POURED EACH OF US A GLASS
of wine.

We drank wine all the time—it was like water; if you weren't drinking it, you were either dead or dead. Seriously. Every other occasion called for it.

So I shouldn't have been suspicious, and I wouldn't have been — had Frank not asked Phoenix to stay as well.

Two bosses and me.

It wasn't good news.

But would it be bad? What could be worse than what I'd already experienced or what I was currently experiencing?

Frank cleared his throat and slid the wine toward me slowly. His frosted black and gray hair looked more dominant in the light, casting a glow across his sharp features. I imagined around thirty years ago he probably could have given all of us guys a run for our money in the looks and all around muscle department. But now he just had the look of the patriarch of a very old and very organized business.

He swirled the wine in his glass then took a long sip. "Have you read your black folder?

I suppressed a groan. "No. And I don't think I will."

Phoenix tensed next to me.

I wasn't sure why.

What the hell was so important about that damn folder?

"You should," he encouraged. "Luca kept great tabs on not only you but some other key players in our… family."

"I see what you're doing." I toyed with the stem of my wine glass. "But it won't work. I'm curious but not so curious that I feel like reading about all the horrible things I've done — the horrible things I'm capable of."

"Like you should talk," Phoenix said under his breath.

I shot him a guilty look.

Phoenix scratched his head and leaned back. He looked less tired than he had a few minutes ago. "Look, it would be in your best interest to read it."

I glanced between the two of them. They'd never been on the same team. Hell, the more I thought about it, they were basically natural enemies. Phoenix had tried to rape Trace; granted, that seemed like a million lifetimes ago, but Phoenix was basically the big bad wolf, the monster, the loose cannon. Out of all of us, he's the one I'd say who was around two seconds away from losing his shit and just bombing the house because he felt like it. It made no sense.

"What's going on here?" I leaned forward. How had I missed this? The way Frank looked at Phoenix, the way Phoenix almost… cowered in Frank's presence — not that he was intimidated, but that he was uncomfortable with the weight of his own knowledge.

"Luca knew everything about everyone," Phoenix said slowly. "Everything. And Sergio… it's hard to explain, but it's almost like he took every possible scenario that could have happened in our family and planned for it."

I snorted. "What? So now he's a ghost? Freaking psychic? Controlling the family from the grave?"

Frank gulped and looked down at the table. "You know nothing, and you'll continue to be in the dark until you read the folder, the one Luca specifically left for you, about you, with instructions only you can carry out."

I met Frank's gaze, my gaze unwavering, giving nothing away. "And what if I burn it? What happens then?"

Frank licked his lips and cracked a smile. "I imagine my brother even planned for that outcome as well. His mind worked in very mysterious ways."

Phoenix tapped his fingers against the wood table. "Sergio, we still need you. That's what this is about. We need you in this family. Don't check out. Not yet."

"Yet," I repeated.

Frank's eyes were kind when he said, "She will die."

I averted my gaze. "I know."

"And when she does…" His voice was soft, reassuring. "…we will still need you, Sergio. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

I snorted. "Don't go off and shooting myself in the face? Is that what you're saying?" I shook my head. "Well, let me put your mind at ease. I would never do that. Ever. Andi would be ashamed of me if I did, and I live for that woman." My voice shook. "I'm a man because of her, and I'll be damned if I take the coward's way out because I can't live without her."

Frank stared long and hard at me, his blue eyes piercing, his body taut. "Fine," he finally said. "Good." Standing, he gave me another once-over and said again, "Read the folder, Sergio, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised… or burn it. Either way, life… it is meant to be lived, it is meant to be felt, regardless of how painful or sorrowful the journey."

I nodded and whispered, "It's not how you start."

Frank smiled softly. "Son, it's how you finish."

"A beautiful ending." I repeated what Andi and I had said.

"Yes," he agreed, "it is."

Frank walked slowly out of the room; his footsteps echoed for a good while before they disappeared, leaving just me and Phoenix at the table.

"I have to say something." Phoenix's eyes were glassy with tears. "And I'm sorry if I'm being that guy right now, but I have to say it."

"What?" I'd never in my life seen Phoenix show emotion, not really, not in the way he was showing now, like any second he was going to break down and sob all over the table. "What's wrong?"

"I've never…" He shook his head as tears filled his eyes. "…respected a man as much as I respect you, right now, in this moment."

I swallowed the knot in my throat. "Oh yeah? Why?"

"Because I see it, Sergio. I feel it. I know it. What it's like to be saved, to have someone see you for you, not just what you want people to see. But who grasps the innermost parts of your darkness and calls bullshit on your own insecurities, who takes you for who you are and says its okay. I know." He licked his lips and looked down at the table. "I know it, probably better than most, and now, so do you. She's dying, man, and I can't… my brain can't comprehend the gravity or the depth of the sorrow you feel, and I can't help you — none of us can — and it's choking to watch, to live through, so I can't imagine being you, I can't imagine being her, and because of that, I respect you so much that now, right here, right now, I vow to do my damnedest to help you when this is done. I'll get your ass out of bed when it seems too hard. I'll shoot you in the ass if you don't eat. I'll do what I can because I owe you at least that much for showing me what it's really like to be selfless — to love."

I had no words.

So, for the first time since my promise to Andi, I let it go. I collapsed against my enemy — the one guy I probably hated just as much as Tex.

And I cried.

Big heaving sobs wracked my body.

And Phoenix De Lange of all people…

Held me.

And told me it was going to be okay.

I just wish I believed him.

Andi

THIS WAS FAMILY. IT WAS DISORGANIZED
, messy, chaotic, hilarious, heartbreaking—it was perfect.

Trace had quickly decided that we didn't need a movie but a karaoke night.

Nixon was not amused.

And watching Trace try to get Nixon to sing
Frozen's
"Let it Go" was officially going down in my all-time favorite moments. He looked livid, yet he was up there, clutching the microphone with a death grip while Trace danced around him.

Awesome.

I clapped.

Tex kept booing.

And Chase kept asking Nixon to take off his shirt.

Somehow the song took a turn for the worse when Trace tried to spank Nixon. He tossed her over his shoulder and carried her out of the room.

The song was finished anyway.

I imagine she was going to get punished — in the best way imaginable. Homeboy seemed to have a lot of anger — but the good kind — like the kind that you knew if timed right could be… exciting.

I giggled when Chase and Mil took the stage.

I'd never seen a better pair in my entire life. She was feisty; he was hilarious but had this underlying intensity that I think he tried to hide in order not to terrify small children. It worked.

They sang "A Whole New World."

Chase was the magic carpet.

You can imagine how that went.

Mil got on top of him and… well, it was Chase; he immediately flipped her around and started kissing her.

The song never even finished before Mil stopped singing and flushed a bright red.

"Get a room!" Tex yelled.

"We have one!" Mil gripped Chase's hand and led him to the door just as Phoenix and Sergio made their way in.

"What's going on in here?" Phoenix shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned.

"Singing!" I announced.

Sergio tried to leave.

Chase barricaded the door with help from Mil.

"Yay!" I yelled. "Our turn!"

I jumped to my feet and quickly fell back to my chair.

Sergio was at my side immediately. "Are you okay? Do you need to go to bed?"

"No," I lied. The room was spinning, but I was having so much fun, and I just wanted to pretend the night could last a little bit longer. "Let's sing!"

"Huzzah!" Tex yelled.

"Historical romance nod." Chase held up his fist to Tex. "That's my man."

Sergio rolled his eyes and gripped my hands. "Alright, Russia, what do you want to sing? I swear to all that is holy if you say the Russian national anthem, I'm going to Taser your ass and hide your gun."

I pouted. "But my gun is special."

He smirked. "So's mine."

"Fine. You win."

"Ha." He kissed the corner of my mouth. "Okay, so what will it be?"

The only song I could think of wasn't fun. But it had meaning, so I pressed my finger to his lips and went over to the little machine and picked my song then grabbed the microphone.

"'If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses…'" I kept singing and twirled around on the stage, but I got dizzy super-fast and had to stop.

Sergio was there instantly. He sat on the makeshift stage and put me on his lap as I kept singing.

I was on his lap…

Singing about getting buried.

And he was rocking back and forth like it was okay.

Tex and Mo sobered.

Phoenix turned off the lights, and soon cell phones lit up the small dark room.

"The sharp knife of a short life… oh well, I've had just enough time," I crooned. "'And I'll be wearing white…'"

Sergio grabbed the microphone when I couldn't finish and started singing with me. I was breathless, maybe from my cancer, maybe from the fact that it was so true, so close to home — being buried in white, leaving the boy from town.

"'So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls,'" I sang

"'A penny for my thoughts…'" Sergio countered in a low voice that was smooth, effortlessly beautiful.

Nixon and Trace came back and immediately held up their cell phones.

It was like a tribute concert.

The end of something great.

A ballad of beauty.

I closed my eyes and cherished the moment — where I had family, where I had love, where I had in that night everything I could have ever hoped or dreamed for.

It was short.

But it was beautiful.

And it was enough.

Sergio

"ANDI?" I'D NEVER TIRE OF KISSING
her mouth, of pressing my lips against hers, of tasting her, of exploring. My tongue met hers. She was tired. I wouldn't pressure her or anything. I just wanted — needed — to be close.

"Hmm?" It was early morning; the sun had just started to rise over the horizon. "Everything okay?"

"Yup." My hands found her hips as I pulled her against me. "It is now."

Her eyes were still closed as she nestled her head under my chin. "You smell sexy."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup." She sighed happily. "I've always thought so, like expensive cologne."

I laughed.

Andi was quiet. I'd assumed she'd fallen back asleep when suddenly she let out a tiny whimper.

"Hey…" I tilted her chin toward me. "…you okay?"

Her eyes blinked and then rolled up in the back of her head.

"Andi!" I gripped her by the arms and set her on her back. "Come on, sweetheart. Talk to me. Stay awake."

She jolted and then blinked. "Sorry, sorry… I just… sorry."

My eyes narrowed. "What's going on?"

She licked her lips. "My face just felt… funny and…" Her eyes kept blinking wildly at me.

"Andi?" I hated to ask. "Double vision?"

"Yeah…" She frowned. "…and a bit of a headache."

Shit. I'd read every brochure, researched until I felt like I was going to go blind from the glare of the computer.