Elijah of Buxton (2 page)

She said, “'Lijah? What on God's earth is wrong now?”

I busted through the gate, pulled Ma into the house, and slammed the door behind her. I was too worned out and shooked up to talk so she started looking me up and down and spinning me 'round to try and figure what was wrong. After a second she said, “'Lijah, sweetheart, you's scaring me to death! What's wrong, baby?”

Once my breathing caught up with me I let her know 'bout how the runaways from America had accidentally brung hoop snakes up to Buxton and how they were out in the woods rolling 'round looking for something to kill.

Ma looked at me like I was daft. She shooked her head and said, “'Lijah, 'Lijah, 'Lijah. What'm I gunn do 'bout you? How many times I got to tell you, a coward die a thousand deaths, a brave boy don't die but once?”

I didn't say nothing but I couldn't help wondering how that's supposed to be comforting. Seems to me after you die the first time, the ones that follow ain't gonna really matter too much.

I said, “But,Ma, I ain't looking to die even one time, 'specially not from no hoop snake bite! It's better to get your head blowed off!”

Ma kneelt down next to me, grabbed both my shoulders, and looked hard in my eyes. “'Lijah Freeman, you listen and you listen good. Ain't
nothing
in the world worth being that afeared of, son. Nothing.”

I said, “What 'bout toady-frogs? How come you're so afeared of them? How's that any different?”

Ma couldn't hardly tolerate even hearing the word
toady-frog,
she'd near die if she ran up on one.

But just like that, the conversating was over. Ma stood up, smacked the back of my head, opened the door then said, “They
is
different. Them things is knowed to pass on warts and all other sorts of nasty dis-eases. And don't be back-talking me neither, 'Lijah Freeman. I ain't so scared of toady-frogs that I'm-a be running down the road in the middle of the day screaming my head off like you just done.”

She kneelt back next tome. “Acting that way don't look good on no child old as you is, 'Lijah. You got to learn to get control of you'self and quit being so fra-gile, sweetheart.”

Ma started acting like she couldn't decide if she was gonna be nice to me or give me a good swatting. She ran her hand along my cheek and said in a kind way, “I don't know what I'm gunn do 'bout that Zephariah! I done axed you over and over not to have no dealings with him, Elijah. He need be 'shamed of his self, scaring young folk with them nonsense stories.”

She was still acting friendly and peaceable when she said, “And you, you poor thing, you got to start thinking things through, you got to try hard to understand if what folks are telling you make any kind of sense.”

Then, just like that, she's back at being mad at me, she pinched my cheek hard and said, “But that ain't no excuse for you to be acting all fra-gile like you done, none atall.”

She squozed on my shoulders 'cause being fra-gile's the biggest bone Ma's got to pick with me. There ain't nothing in the world she wants more than for me to quit being so doggone fra-gile. It's something I'm aiming to do myself, but the trouble is me and her have two different ways of doing it. And her way always seems to be the exact back side of mine. Whilst I try not to be fra-gile by sucking down the looseness and sloppiness in my nose when they come and by not screaming and running off at the littlest nonsense, Ma sets 'bout it different. Most times she tries to encourage it by talking the subject near to death. And, doggone-it-all, learning a lesson that way just don't stick in your head.

But what's worst is when Ma quits talking and starts doing something to make a lesson permanent. The first time she tried to make me quit being fra-gile I didn't even know she was doing it, but that's one lesson that's stuck with me so good that it seems like it happened yesterday and not a long time ago.

Ma had been walking me 'round the yard near our truck patch, and I must've been mighty young 'cause I had my arm stretched way over my head to hold on to her hand.

I remember stopping to get a good look at a pile of dirt that was being scampered on by a bunch of bugs. I couldn't understand how things that small could be moving all by theirselves! I dug my toes down into the dirt to make Ma quit walking so's I could get a better look. It turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

I can recall squinting my eyes to look up at Ma and seeing her pull off her sunbonnet and wipe her forehead afore she squatted down next to me and said, “'Lijah, that ain't nothing but a anthill, sweetheart.”

I reached out to pick one of the ants up. This was afore I'd learnt that bugs have ways of discouraging you from touching 'em. But afore I could get hold of one, Ma grabbed my hand. “Uh-uh, 'Lijah, they's some of God's hardest workers and just 'cause you's bigger don't make it right to mess with 'em.”

Then she said, “Ooh, 'Lijah, lookit there! Ain't that the prettiest thing?”

She turned my hand a-loose and reached over in the grass and pulled out the most terrorfying creature that ever lived! It was twisting and whipping in a way that waren't one bit normal. And it didn't have a arm nor leg nowhere on it! It looked like it came straight out your worst nightmare. But the fearfullest thing about it was that it was right in Ma's hand, which up to then had been the best place to run if there was any kind of trouble.

Ma always counts that as the first time I ran off screaming, but who wouldn't've?

Near everything I learnt about snakes on that day and every day since shows that screaming and running from 'em ain't one bit atall fra-gile, it's sensical.

 

It waren't but a week or two later that me and Cooter were down at the river and he yelled, “Oh, ho …!” then snatched out a toady-frog big as a pie pan!

I was still smarting 'bout the way Ma'd made me feel fra-gile, so the first thing that came to mind was how fra-gile
she'd
get if she saw a toady-frog as big and round as this one.

Like most real good ideas, this one didn't come to us right off. One thing led to the 'nother, and after 'while me and Cooter came up with this plan that's got toady-frogs and Ma and her sewing basket all meeting up together. In Sabbath school Mr. Travis is always telling us that the Lord loves laughter, and what could be funnier than watching Ma reaching down into her basket and getting a little surprise?

After supper I wrapped the toady-frog in the sweater Ma had been working on and put it in her knitting basket and ran 'cross the road to hide in the drainage ditch with Cooter.

Then, just like they always do, Ma and Pa came and sat in their rockers on the stoop, getting ready to do some relaxing. They're laughing and carrying on and Ma put her sewing basket in her lap.

She took her knitting spectacles out of the basket then quick closed it to make a point 'bout something with Pa. She acted like she was set to reach in and pull her knitting out but stopped at the last instance to slap at Pa's arm. She even set the basket back on the floor and, doggone-it-all, it seemed her and Pa waren't gonna get nothing done but talking and laughing! I was
this
close to losing my mind!

Finally Ma put the basket back in her lap and reached in. She knowed right off something was wrong 'cause with that toady-frog added to it, her sweater weighed 'bout five pounds more than the last time she touched it.

She twisted her head to the side to look at Pa, unwrapped the toady-frog, and it dropped smack-down in her lap. She frozed up for 'bout one second, then jumped straight out the rocker. Yarn and needles and buttons and the toady-frog and the half-knit sweater flewed all over the stoop like your guts do after you been hoop snake bit! Ma's knitting spectacles jumped partway up her forehead and she started hopping up and down and slapping at her skirt like it's afire! The whole time she didn't scream nor say a word.

It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life!

Me and Cooter near 'bout died peeking out of the ditch. It caint be good for you to try to keep a laugh inside, I was
this
close to busting clean apart!

Ma heard us trying to smother our laughs down and stared 'cross the road. She looked like she was fixing to say something but her mouth just opened and shut over and over. Didn't no words come out so she walked all a-shake-ity into the house.

Pa called over tome and Cooter, “Don't y'all move.”

He set Ma's rocker back up then collected all her knitting tools and put 'em back in the basket. He picked up the toady-frog and brung him 'cross the road right at me and Cooter.

He set the toady-frog down, shooked his head, and said, “Now, Elijah. You, me, and Cooter all thought that was funny. Your ma and that there toady-frog ain't likely to see the whole adventure quite the same way.”

Me and Cooter tried to keep our faces serious whilst Pa was talking, but tears were rolling down both our cheeks.

Pa said, “Past a wart or two, I don't think the toady-frog's gunn cause you no grieving. But your ma …” He whistled low and long. “… she's a whole 'nother story. So whilst you's out here rolling 'bout in that ditch enjoying the tormentation you caused your ma and that toady-frog, why don't you save us all some trouble and go in them woods and break off whichever switch it is you wants her to beat you with. 'Cause you know the next time you and her is in the same room together, that's what's gunn happen.

“Cooter,” Pa said, “today your lucky day, son. You's 'bout to get two shows for the price of one. If you thought that there was funny, you just wait till you see the way 'Lijah starts a-hopping and screaming once his ma lays that switch on his behind.”

Pa smiled then walked away.

Me and Cooter had to run near a mile afore we figured we were far 'nough away to really let our laughs rip out. And rip out they did. I ain't
never
laughed so hard! We fell all over ourselves and couldn't barely stand up. We rolled and rolled whilst talking 'bout the way Ma looked when she opened that sweater!

We couldn't neither one of us get a whole sentence out.

I said, “Did you see the way —” then I commenced choking.

Cooter said, “And … and … and then she —” and started pulling at the grass and slapping at the ground.

Then I said, “I never knowed Ma could jump so —” and the laughing closed my throat right up.

Once me and Cooter were all laughed out and commenced walking home, things changed. A gloom started creeping over me the same way clouds'll all the sudden start sliding up to cover a full moon. Cooter was whistling and still laughing every once in the while and, doggone-it-all, I saw how unfair this whole commotion was turning out to be. He'd got just as much fun from everything that happened as I did, but it looked like
I
was gonna be the only one that had to do any kind of paying for the enjoying. I started working up a good apology fulled up with lots of sincereness for when I saw Ma.

When I got home, Ma didn't say a word! She must've thought the whole thing was too embarrassing and couldn't see no way of 'buking me without bringing up the subject of toady-frogs again, so she let it go.

I gotta say I was real proud of Ma 'cause of the good way she took the toady-frog joke. It's funny, just when you think you caint admire your folks no more than you already do, something like that happens and lets you know you're wrong.

 

Two days later I got back from helping Mr. Leroy down on Mrs. Holton's land. Ma and Pa were sitting on the stoop. Ma was back to working on that sweater and Pa was whittling away. She must've baked, the cookie jar was sitting twixt 'em.

She said, “How Mr. Leroy doing, son?”

“He's good, ma'am.”

“You stop in and give my regards to Mrs. Holton?”

“Yes, ma'am, she told me to ask 'bout you.”

“Mrs. Brown come by, axed if you's gunn go fishing tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma'am, right after my stable chores.”

“She done some baking too, say she hoping to trade for two of them big perch.”

It waren't Ma that baked, it was Mrs. Brown! This made the baking in the cookie jar a lot more interesting!

“What she bake,Ma?”

Ma reached down and picked up the cookie jar.

She said, “You know how Mrs. Brown is, 'Lijah, always trying something new. She baked some sugar cookies and some other kind of cookie she call …” Ma quit knitting and looked over her spectacles at Pa. “Ooh, Spencer, I must be getting old. I caint for the life of me recall what she said they was, can you?”

Pa held up on his whittling, looked at her, and said, “Naw, darling, I caint recall neither.”

Ma slapped the arm of her rocker. “Oh yes! Now I 'member, she baked them walnut and sugar cookies and something she say she gunn call rope cookies. You's lucky they's some left. Was all I could do to keep your daddy out of 'em.”

She tipped the cookie jar toward Pa and he reached in and pulled out a cookie that had walnuts stuck to the top of it and sugar dusted all over it!

Pa bit on the cookie and said, “Almost as good as your'n, Sarah!” He winked at me.

Ma leaned the jar at me but just as I was 'bout to reach in, she pulled it back and said, “Now, 'Lijah, you know better than that. You been working hard with Mr. Leroy. Go wash up first, son.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

I ran 'round to the back stoop to wash my hands quick as I could. When I came out front, Ma tipped the cookie jar at me again and I dug my hand right in.

Ma was right, it felt like Pa'd et near all of 'em. But as I moved my hand 'round in the bottom of the jar, I felt one n'em rope cookies … and Mrs. Brown must've
just
brung these cookies over, 'cause the last one left was still warm!