Efrain's Secret (15 page)

Caustic
(adj
.) bitter, biting, acidic

After sleepwalking through my civil rights class, I walk into physics to find GiGi sitting on my desk. “Hi, Efrain.”

“Hey.” She looks good in her Southpole jeans. Too good. “Excuse me, please,” I say as I motion her to move her butt off my desk. That apple bottom is a quadruple threat now. I’m involved with Candace, my boy Nestor wants to get with her, Chingy and I are on the outs, I’m dead on my feet…. The girl has to go.

But GiGi plants herself at Chingy’s desk. “So what’d you get the other day in Brooklyn?” Chingy walks into the classroom. I need him to reclaim his desk, but, instead, he just scorns me, taking GiGi’s seat in the front of the room. “I bet you got something really nice for your girlfriend.”

I don’t need all this attention right now. I wouldn’t appreciate the interrogation if GiGi were ugly, but she’s the business. And she smells good, too. The bell finally rings, thank God. A brother has never been so eager for physics class to start.

Mr. Harris hands back our latest homework assignments. GiGi leans over to crack her gum at my grade. “Bummer,” she says to my big, fat sixty-five. I shove the work sheet into my binder, even though Harris is reviewing the answers.

GiGi pretends to drop a pencil to toss a note on my desk.

I guess GiGi’s forgiven me for standing her up a few weeks ago. Honestly? I want to go to her crib. Not only do I seriously need the help before my physics grade wrecks my average, I’m craving the company. I could go to the tutoring program after school, but how’s that going to look? Besides, I’d much rather get tutored by a dime like GiGi than some dude like Chingy who’s not trying to have my back these days anyway. GiGi winks at me, then tosses her hair, sending a hint of coconut my way so strong, I almost feel her hair brush across my face. Damn.

I catch Leticia at the front of the room sitting sideways at her desk so she can stare at GiGi and me, all giggling and whatnot. Does that
chismosa
ever quit? I flip GiGi’s note and scribble an answer across the back.

When Mr. Harris turns around, I drop the note on GiGi’s open notebook. She grabs and opens it. Two seconds later, a crumpled piece of torn loose-leaf sails into my face and lands on my binder. I glance at GiGi. Her nose flares as she pretends to concentrate on Harris’s review. I take the crumpled note apart and read it.

She’s trippin’, yo. Would GiGi be checking for me if Leticia and she hadn’t seen Nestor and me shopping for gear? GiGi’s hot and
smart and sometimes even sweet, but she’s also the female equivalent of an
asqueroso
who hollers at women on the street. Like I taught Mandy, the only right answer is no answer. He doesn’t care what you say to him—dis his mama if you want to—but the second you acknowledge him, he’s won. This is what I have to do with GiGi, even though just the idea of being alone with her is so exciting, it scares me.

GiGi waits for my response, but, instead, I pay attention to Mr. Harris. Then she flings another note on my desk.

Okay, I have to put an end to this. I couldn’t care less if a girl is Black, Puerto Rican, Dominican, or whatever so long as she’s down for me no matter how I make my paper or how I spend it. I start to write
I’m into
mujeres decentes.
Chickens need not apply
but check myself. Mr. Harris will catch her, then punish
me
, and no way can I give that foul
morena
comment any traction. Instead, I just correct the spelling and grammar on her note and grade it. Then I fold it into an airplane and fly it over to her desk. I mean, Chingy’s desk.

75=C=Average

GiGi reads the note and crumples it into her fist. Then she turns and throws it in my face.
“¡Pendejo!”
She’s lucky I’m not some beast who hits girls.

Harris turns from the board and yells, “What’s going on, Miss González, Mr. Rodriguez?”

I say, “Nothing.” Then I can’t help myself and start to laugh. “Believe that, Mr. Harris.” GiGi’s doing her best to not turn in her seat right now, but I know my laughing upsets her.

Harris looks to where GiGi usually sits and finds Chingy at her desk. “Miss González, why are you sitting there?” Even with his back to me, I know Chingy is grinning like a hyena.

Without missing a beat, GiGi says, “I’ve just been diagnosed with hyperopia, Mr. Harris.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, I’m farsighted. My old seat is too close to the board. I see it much better from back here.” GiGi’s slick. Got to give her that. She probably had that excuse planned all along when she decided to colonize Chingy’s seat. On any other day, that’d be mad sexy, but she lost major cool points for acting like a gold digger and making that
indirecta
about Candace. Just goes to show that GiGi is smart only when she wants to be, which is why when she acts ignorant, it’s far worse than helpless stupidity à la Lefty Saldaña.

“Get back to your seat, Miss González.” Obviously, stupid Harris ain’t. “Bring in a note from your eye doctor, and then I’ll reassign you. Mr. Perry …” Chingy reluctantly gathers his things and heads back to his seat.

GiGi jumps out of Chingy’s desk and grabs her books and jacket. I mumble, “See ya, hate to be ya.”

“Don’t speak to me.”

I wave her away like a housefly. “Done.”

GiGi huffs past Chingy, almost knocking him into the kid seated in the next row. “Damn, what’d I do?” he says. The class laughs. When Chingy reaches his desk, he has this bewildered flicker in his eyes. He’s dying to know what this is all about. I’d volunteer the 411, but since he’s too good for a brother…
pues, sufre
. He could’ve gotten the real deal straight from the horse’s mouth, but now let him consult the rumor mill like everyone else.

Enamor
(
v
.) to fill with love

The rumor mill grinds at lightning speed, because when eighth period ends, Candace is waiting for me in the hallway.

“What a nice surprise!” I kiss her on the forehead without checking to see if anyone is watching. That was for Candace only. “Everything okay? Aren’t you tutoring today?” If she feels like playing hooky from work, I’d be down for that.

But Candace looks mad worried. “Yeah, but…” She pulls me into the stairwell and waits for the crowd rushing home to die down. “Listen, I need to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth.”

Oh shit. She knows. I say, “All right.” Then I hold my breath.

“There are rumors going around that you and Chingy are on the outs over a girl.” By the look in her eyes, not only does Candace find the gossip plausible, she suspects that the girl is not her.

I exhale without miraculously blowing the poor thing down the stairs. “No, ma, that’s not what’s up between Chingy and me.” I reach out and caress her cheek.

She sighs with relief. “I wasn’t accusing you of anything, Efrain. I figure that if Chingy and you had fought over some girl, it’d have been before we got together.” It’s mad cute the way Candace says
some girl
. Obviously, the rumor mill supplied a specific name. “And I know that just because we’re together now doesn’t mean that you guys are going to squash your beef just like that. I know how that goes.”

“First things first. This girl who likes me—”

Candace spits, “GiGi.”

One useful thing I learned from watching Rubio in action: your girlfriend doesn’t want her suspicions about a potential rival confirmed, and just saying her name is confirmation enough. No matter if she’s some ’hood rat you’d never mess with: speak her name, ask for drama. And if she’s a banger like GiGi?
Olvídalo
, kid. You might as well say
Yeah, I’m hitting that all day, every day
, even if she thinks you’re a troglodyte. It’s still a wrap for you with your girl.

“This girl wants to stir up trouble because she’s jealous that I’m with you and ain’t checking for her.” Let me segue to the beef between Chingy and me and convince her that it’s not female-related. “But Chingy and I are on the outs over this dude we used to hang with. He dropped out of school, got into some stuff, and, well, Chingy doesn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and he’s mad at me because I stay friends with him.”

Candace chuckles and shakes her head. “I thought only girls did things like that.”

I tell Candace as much of the truth as I can without giving myself away. “This guy, the one that Chingy and I used to run with, he started … selling drugs.” Then I rush to clarify. “I mean, he’s not living like Scarface or pushing crack on kids or anything like that. He’s just chillin’ on the corner selling to whoever rolls through.” The weight of my own truth forces me down on the step.

“You don’t think there’s anything wrong with that?” Candace asks, taking a seat on my lap. She doesn’t ask with that tone of voice somebody uses when their mind is already made up and they just want you to sink yourself in deeper. Candace truly wants to get me.

But I’m not ready to be gotten like
that
just yet, so I avoid one
truth by offering another. “You just don’t throw away a good relationship because your friend makes a choice that you wouldn’t.” Now my leg feels like it’s overrun with ants, more from the weight on my conscience than on my lap.

Candace fidgets. “You okay?” Before I tell her my leg’s falling asleep, she lowers herself two steps and leans her head against my knee. “So you were saying …”

Man, she makes it so easy that it’s hard. I want to tell her everything—about Nestor as well as me—and yet that’s precisely why I can’t. “Candace, have you ever done the wrong thing for the right reason?”

She takes a second and says in this unwavering voice, “Yes, I have.”

“Really?” Even though I asked, I wasn’t expecting her to say that.

She nods, rubbing her cheek against the denim across my knee. “After the hurricane.” I want to hear more, but something tells me not to push right now. The fact that she reveals this much is enough for me.

“My friend’s the man of the house. He can’t do right by his family asking people
Do you want fries with that?”
I stroke Candace’s hair as I speak. “His father isn’t worth a shit, so the fate of his family relies on his success. It is what it is, and I don’t think you cut a guy off because he’s doing what he feels necessary to improve his chances in life. Especially when he intends to reach back and pull up those he loves. Doing one bad thing doesn’t make him a bad person.”

“You talk about him like a brother,” says Candace, smiling.

“He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to one. Chingy, too, so it’s like one brother asking me to choose him over the other, and I don’t think it has to be that way.” At this moment, my anger with Chingy for insisting on it surprises even me.

Candace pops up her head and turns around to face me. “Maybe I can talk to him for you.”

“Who? Chingy?”

“Yeah. Maybe I can speak to him when I see him at work.” And when Candace says that, we both remember that she has a job to go to. I’m supposedly late for ringing up designer jeans myself. Man, sometimes it slips my mind how many lies I have to tell to maintain my cover.

“No, ma, you shouldn’t do that,” I say as I stand up. Especially since Chingy actually knows the truth. What if he resents that Candace is with me and blows up my spot? I hate thinking this way about my oldest friend. Even though he’s never done anything like that to me before, I can’t chase the possibility out of my mind. “This is one of those in-between-men things, you know. But I appreciate the offer, though.”

“You know what?” Candace shakes her head and smiles to herself. “Never mind.” She tries to reach for the door, but I grab her by the waist.