Edible Delectables (20 page)

“I need you.  Now, Jason, I need you,” Kara whimpered.  Jason picked her up off his lap and flipped her over onto the couch, pulling her pants and underwear off in one motion, then dropping his own just as fast.  Without hesitation he crawled on top of her as she lay spread and waiting for him.  He slipped into her easily, both of them emitting a sharp gasp at the sensation.  Kara clenched around him and pulled him deeper as he braced himself on top of her.  The feel of her surrounding him had his eyes rolling back in his head while his body took over.  He began to thrust breathlessly, his longing for her apparent in every move he made, as he lowered himself down to his elbows, encasing her in his arms and changing the direction of his motions.  He felt and heard her gasp and hold him tighter.  This wasn’t going to last long, this was pure need incarnate.  He pressed his nose into her hair, and then began kissing her neck fervently, gently nipping and sucking, marking her lightly as his need increased.

“Jason,” Kara moaned, grasping at his back and clawing his shoulders lightly.

Jason pulled out swiftly and turned her over, re-entering her from behind and groaning as he completely sheathed himself once again.  Kara began to cry out as he picked up his pace and pounded her over and over.  He reached between her legs, putting pressure where she needed it as she clenched her legs together and began to shake.

“Yes!” she cried out, pounding her fist on the couch cushion above her head.  Feeling her fall apart, Jason lost all control and thrust with abandon, losing himself quickly inside her.  He collapsed on top of her back, sweaty and spent as he gasped for air.  After a few moments of coming down from their pinnacle, Jason gently pulled himself away and stood up next to the couch.  Without a word, he extended his hand to Kara, helping her off the couch. 

After re-dressing, grinning the entire time, Kara smirked at Jason, “Now, you said something about dinner?” 

~*~

After dinner Jason gave Kara the key he’d had made for her, telling her to use it as often as she liked; she was always welcome in his home.  She made use of it several times as he had done with the key she had given him on New Year’s Eve.  They seemed to settle into a routine, spending almost every night together and moving forward toward something neither of them really could comprehend.

It was February when the white envelope arrived in his mailbox.  The envelope that would change everything and shatter the love bubble they’d been living in; the envelope nobody had expected, at least not for a while longer.

Chapter Sixteen

It was February twelfth, two days before Valentine’s Day, when Jason received acceptance into the Pediatric Emergency Medicine Fellowship at Children’s Hospital of Seattle.

He sat on his couch and stared at the large white envelope, enrollment forms spilling out of the gaping opening, as it sat on the table.  He stared at the contents, unsure of the feelings that overwhelmed him.

“Shit,” he said to the empty room.

~*~

Valentine’s Day was particularly busy at Edible Delectables.  Mostly it was customers coming in to pick up orders they had placed, but there were always a few panicked people coming in at the last minute to see if they could arrange for some sort of “surprise.”  Kara was always gracious and in the past had accommodated many of the last minute patrons, but this year she had to decline them.  This year, Kara had a date on Valentine’s Day - her first Valentine’s date in a long time.

She was so excited she posted a “Closed at 6:00 p.m. on Valentine’s Day” sign on the door prior to the holiday.   Thankfully, by six o’clock, all the cakes that were ordered in advance had been picked up. She had learned from years past that there would be plenty of last minute orders, so she had prepared a few extra generic cakes in advance, which also sold.  At precisely six o’clock she closed up the shop and headed to Jason’s for the evening.

~*~

“Hey, beautiful,” Jason greeted her as Kara walked into the townhouse.

“Hi,” Kara replied.  She tossed her purse onto the couch and met Jason halfway as he approached her for a hug.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Jason murmured, leaning in for a kiss.  “How was your day?”

“Much better now,” Kara kissed him again, pulling his full lower lip between hers and sucking lightly, and releasing it with a loud smack.  “Honestly, if I see one more pink cupcake, I may hurl.”

Jason snickered and kissed her forehead.  “This is a baked goods free zone, I promise.”

They had discussed going out for the evening, but decided to stay in and rent a movie instead of dealing with crowded restaurants.  After they prepared dinner together in the kitchen and it was safely in the oven, they settled down in the living room.

“What movie did you get?”  Kara kicked off her shoes and tucked her legs up under her on the couch.

Jason walked to the entertainment center and pulled the movie from a bag, holding it up and showing it to her proudly.

Kara looked at the movie, then at Jason, and then back to the movie.

“Valentine?”

“Yeah, you know, for Valentine’s Day,” he answered, the smile on his face begging her for approval.

“Isn’t that a horror movie?”

Jason’s smile started to fade, “It has that guy from Buffy in it.  You like that show.”

Seeing the look of excitement begin to die away from his eyes, Kara got up from the couch and slipped her arms around his neck.  “I do like that show.  David Boreanaz is hot.”  She lifted up on her toes and kissed his chin, reaching out and grabbing the movie from his hands.  Flipping it over she read the back and couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped.  “Put it in,” she said, smiling as she handed it back to him.

She never would have expected it, but sitting on Jason’s couch, watching a campy horror flick and eating baked chicken, turned out to be the best Valentine’s Day she had ever had.

~*~

Two days after Valentine’s Day Jason was still ignoring the admission papers he’d stacked on his desk.  He should have been excited about the acceptance, but he wasn’t.  Instead, he was anxious.  Not knowing what to do, Jason called his father and asked if they could meet for lunch, hoping his father could help him sort out his thoughts.

Jason got to the restaurant first and was seated at a table, head in his hands, deep in thought, when his father arrived.

“Jason,” Jeff greeted him as he pulled out a chair.

Jason looked up and smiled weakly at his dad, “Hey, thanks for coming.”

“And to what do I owe the pleasure?”  Jeff asked, picking up his menu and looking it over.

“I got in,” Jason said quietly.  “They usually don’t do selections until spring but I got the paperwork this week.  I got into the fellowship program.”

“That’s fantastic, son, congratulations!”  Jeff put his menu down and stood up to give him a hug, and Jason complied, but Jeff could see his reluctance. 

“You’re not happy about this?”  He seemed surprised by Jason’s reaction; Jason knew that the fellowship in pediatrics would be a wonderful opportunity for his career, and that his father may have a difficult time understanding his hesitation, but he needed somebody to talk to.

“It’s in Seattle,” Jason stated quietly.

His father looked at him questioningly, nodded his head, acknowledging he knew the location of Seattle Children’s Hospital, but still not getting why Jason wasn’t happy about the situation.

“Kara,” Jason said.

Jeff took a surprised breath, and Jason knew her name had been enough of an explanation and that his father wouldn’t need further clarification. After all, his family knew Jason cared for Kara, but they would not have had any idea it had progressed this far in such a short span of time.

They were still sitting in silence when the waitress approached to take their order.  Jeff sat with his hands clasped, under his chin, watching his son pensively, while Jason played with his water glass, slowly swirling the water around.

“Are you going to take it?” Jeff asked after a few more moments of silence.  Jason closed his eyes and sighed, then slowly opened them to look at his father, only to look back down without replying.

“Do you love her?” Jeff asked, concerned.

“Yes,” Jason answered, then shook his head, knowing what his father would say.  “Her life is here.  Her family is here.  Hell, she owns her own business.  If I take this, if I leave, I’m going alone.”

Jeff frowned and opened his mouth to say something just as their lunch arrived.  They ate in silence for awhile before Jeff spoke again. 

“You’ve only known each other a few months.”  Jason looked up sharply and started to respond, but his father held up one hand for Jason to give him a minute.  “Let me finish.  I know you love her, I can see that.  But this relationship is new, Jason, and the fellowship is something that will affect your entire career.  Your life.  Are you ready to give that opportunity up?” 

Jason slumped down in his seat, defeated.  His father was right.  He wasn’t ready to give it up.  And it was that thought that caused his stomach twist, because if he wasn’t ready to give up the fellowship, did it mean he was ready to give up Kara?  What he’d said to his father was true - he loved Kara, but Kara’s life was in Austin, and he couldn’t ask her to leave it. 

~*~

After eating lunch with his father, and thanking him for his council, Jason drove around aimlessly, with a heavy heart, lost in thought.  It was his phone ringing that pulled him out of his reverie, the caller ID displaying Kara’s name.

For a minute he considered letting it go to voicemail, but instead he hit receive and answered the call.  “Hey,” he tried to keep his voice as normal as possible.

“Hey, you will not believe the cake order I just got.  It’s for a bachelor party.  They want a boob cake.  When I hesitated, they altered it to a lingerie boob cake.  I figure it’s ok if the boobs have a bra on, you know, so it’s not like I’m baking porn or anything.”  Jason chuckled, but even he knew it sounded off.  “You okay?” the hesitation in her voice told Jason she could sense that something was wrong. 

“Yeah,” Jason sighed. “I had lunch with my dad today, and we talked about some stuff.” He felt horrible for holding back, and he was sure that Kara could tell there was more going on than he was telling her, but he wasn’t ready to talk.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Can we do it tonight?  My place?” he asked quietly.

“Of course, I’ll come over after work,” Kara answered.  “I should get going now so I can finish up and then I’ll close the shop.”

“I’ll see you in a little bit,” Jason did his best to keep the despair from his voice as he hung up the phone.

~*~

Two hours later Kara walked into Jason’s townhouse to find him sitting on his couch in the quiet living room.

Concerned, she put her purse down and sat next to him, rubbing her hand up his arm.  “Hey, are you okay?  What is it, Jason?” she asked softly.

“I got the fellowship,” he said quietly.

Kara pulled back slightly, shocked by his words; they were the last she had expected to hear right then.  “Wow, I didn’t see that coming,” she gave a small humorless laugh, and rubbed her hands on her thighs.  They were suddenly clammy.  “I knew you would.  Get it, I mean,” she looked down, her breathing picking up as panic began to flow through her body, making it tingle with anxiety.  “It’s earlier though, than I expected.” 

She couldn’t look at him; the blood rushing in her ears was all she heard.  Kara felt the tears welling up and took a deep breath, hoping to keep them at bay.  She was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, the timing was a surprise, but the outcome was not.  How had she fooled herself into denying this possibility?  Of course Jason got into the fellowship program.  She knew he would, and yet here she sat, completely unprepared.

“Come with me,” he whispered, sounding ready to beg.  She knew he couldn’t stop himself from asking; she also knew he would know, and understand her answer.  They both knew how this scenario played out:  He would go, she would stay.  And in the end, she could only hope he wouldn’t forget her and that someday he could come back to her.

Kara’s heart ached at his request; she shook her head saying the words he would expect to hear, “I can’t, Jason.  My dad is here, my friends, my bakery.”  He simply nodded in return. 
Impasse
.  His dreams and career, or hers? Perhaps if either of them had a clearer mind, they might have realized it was no longer about his dreams or hers, but about
theirs
.  The dreams they had begun to build together; whether spoken aloud or not, those dreams were there.  Only neither head was clear, both were stubborn, and Jason was a man with a terrible track record for long distance relationships.

The silence in the room was stifling when Jason offered up a cliché, “It’s not forever, just for a couple of years.” His words were hollow, his voice sounded flat, and he sounded as if he were trying to convince himself.  Kara nodded, the pit in her stomach growing, the pain radiating throughout her body.  She closed her eyes against the tunnel vision. 

She braced herself; she didn’t want to know, but she had to ask, “What about us?” Her voice was so low she wondered if he had even heard her.  They both knew his history, and his understandable hesitation at a long distance relationship.  How ironic that he would now be the one in Seattle.  Kara took a deep breath, swallowing the bile that had risen in her throat.

Jason didn’t reply and Kara couldn’t help the tears that escaped.  She quickly brushed them away hoping he hadn’t seen.

“I’d like to keep in touch.”  He couldn’t look her in the eyes.  Kara was thankful for this, as he had essentially given her the ‘let’s be friends’ spiel.  She closed her eyes and simply nodded her head, not trusting words.

Acquiescing, she finally looked at him, “You know where to find me.”  She knew the words were cold but she’d had all she could take.  Kara launched herself up from the couch and headed for the front door.