Easy Silence (13 page)

“Umm…I can’t.”

“Well, why not? You were just bitchin’ that you needed more hours.”

“Oh, well. I already told Samantha I would help her out with something in the morning.”

Pete’s frown slowly turned into a smile.

“Oh, Jaxson. It’s totally fine if you can’t. I understand, and I’m sure Hadley will, too. Really, if you have the opportunity to make some extra money—”

“I told you I would do it, and I am.” He didn’t even try and disguise the annoyance in his voice. I knew that was just his way, and I was fairly certain that Pete and Bonnie were used to it, but I hated when he snapped at me like that in front of other people.

“Well, what are you going to be doing?” Pete asked.

Jaxson didn’t answer, pretending to be thoroughly engrossed in the menu. I shot him a dirty look over his rudeness, but he didn’t catch it because his eyes remained focused on the menu.

“Oh, my grandmother’s housekeeper is having a bake sale at her church, and they need help setting up.”

Pete nodded his head in approval. My eyes moved over to Jaxson once again. He had finally lifted his head from the menu and was now staring intently at the rough looking couple who were just exiting the bar area. He narrowed his eyes and began to nervously bounce his leg up and down, never breaking from his trance-like state. Pete turned his head in the direction Jaxson was looking to see what he was so keenly focused on.

“Jaxson,” Pete whispered in a coaxing manner. The concern in his voice scared me a little. Jaxson continued staring straight ahead at them until they were out the door, not even blinking an eye. “So, Sam, how was your first quad ride?” Pete asked, finally turning his attention to me to break up the monotony.

“Oh, it was fun. Jaxson is a pretty good driver.” I reached for his hand under the table, and he jumped, finally coming out of the daze he was in. He cleared his throat and didn’t respond. When he gripped my hand tighter, no words were needed, he knew I was there for him, and that’s all that mattered.

* * *

After we got done eating, Jaxson and I took a walk along the bay and stumbled upon a bonfire that a group of kids were having. There seemed to be plenty of music, plenty of laughter and plenty of alcohol. I wondered if Jaxson knew any of these kids. He seemed to pretty much be a loner, so even if he had, I doubted that he socialized with them.

“Jax! Wow, you are still alive!” a female voice shouted in the distance. He let out an annoyed breath as the short blonde girl approached us. “Where have you been?” Her smile faded when she looked down at our hands clasped together. “Oh, so I guess I got my answer,” she snapped.

“I guess you did,” Jaxson replied, his tone flat and matter of fact.

“Well, aren’t you gonna at least introduce me?” she asked.

“No.”

Her jaw dropped, and I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable, not knowing what to do. “I’m…” I hesitated for a moment. “Sam.”

She shot me a dirty look not even bothering to tell me her name, making me feel foolish for extending that courtesy to her. “So, what…you have a
girlfriend
now?” she asked.

“Come on, Samantha, let’s go.” He completely ignored her.

“Oh, that’s real nice, Jax! Well when she dumps your miserable ass, don’t come looking for me because I’m through with you!” she shouted as we walked off.

“Who was that?” I asked as we walked away.

“Just a girl.”

“Well, I can see that…but how do you know her? Is she an old girlfriend?”

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. “No. I don’t do the girlfriend thing. I used her for sex.”

I felt the blow to my heart. Was that all I was to him as well? I knew that it was too soon to attach labels of boyfriend and girlfriend to what we had, but I thought maybe we were progressing to that point. “Well, is that all you’re doing with me?” I blurted out. He took a drag of his cigarette and was unresponsive staring straight ahead. I stopped walking and got in front of him, forcing him to look at me. “Is it, Jaxson?” I could hear the frustration in my voice. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to sleep with him.

“I don’t know.” He finally met my gaze. My eyes widened over his frankness. “I don’t know what I’m doing with you, Samantha.”

“What—what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I could feel my eyes welling with tears as I began to walk away, unable to handle the brutality in his honesty any longer.

He grabbed my arm and yanked me back. “What the fuck! You ask me a fuckin’ question, and this is how you respond?”

“Take me home!” I shouted.

“Fine by me.” He threw his cigarette in the sand, and we walked off the beach, neither one of us saying a word to the other.

The five minute drive home seemed like hours, and I was relieved when we finally pulled up to my grandmother’s. I hopped out of his truck without any goodbyes, becoming more upset when he just drove off without even speaking to me as well.

The house was dark when I entered, and I immediately went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I undressed and threw on an oversized tee shirt. My body was exhausted, but my brain was wide awake. I tossed and turned for what seemed like eternity, trying to shut down my mind. The predicted thunderstorms had finally arrived as I listened to the rain coming down outside my bedroom window, while replaying tonight over and over in my head. Who was that couple in the bar who set him off? Why did he have to act this way? Why couldn’t he just be normal? And, why was I so drawn to that oddness? I raised my head from my pillow and became paralyzed with fear when I heard a tap on my bedroom window. I looked around my dark bedroom for something to use as a weapon. The crash of thunder made me jump, breaking me from my paralysis. I slowly got up on shaky legs and inched closer to the window, wondering if I was just imagining it. When I heard the tap once again, I knew I wasn’t. I bit my lip and hesitantly opened my blinds afraid of what was on the other side. I let out a deep breath of relief when I saw Jaxson, soaking wet. I opened the window and popped out the screen, allowing him to climb inside. “What—what are you doing?” His lips were all over me in an instant as water dripped from his clothes.

“When you asked me what I meant by that, you didn’t even give me a chance to answer before you went storming off, and that pissed me off.”

“Oh, well, sorry if I pissed
you
off! But, I was just trying to save myself from the answer!” I snapped.

“Well, you don’t even know what the answer was going to be, so how could you have saved yourself from it?”

“Judging from your first response, I’m sure it wasn’t going to be good.”

I began to turn around to go back in my bed. He shook his head and pulled me into him. “I don’t know what I’m doing with you Samantha because I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I’m a little mixed up about that.” He looked away. “Actually, a lot mixed up.” I bit my bottom lip, trying to contain my emotion. Finally unable to hold back, I pulled him into a hug and rested my head on his soaking wet tee shirt, feeling his heart beating at warp speed.

“I guess we’re even because I’ve never felt this way about anyone either. Maybe together, we can figure it out.” He nodded as my fingers swept over his wet face. I slowly moved my hands to the hem-line of his shirt, feeling him tense up as I lifted it over his head. Gradually and carefully walking behind him, I gently moved my hands up his back. I could sense his discomfort, and the only thing I wanted to do was take that away. I wanted him to feel completely at ease, baring the scars of his past to me. I buried my face into his shoulder blade, and he let out a nervous breath, loosening up ever so slightly as my lips glided over his back, trying my best to heal the emotional wounds that still remained within him. “You’re so beautiful, Jaxson,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him from behind as his whole body trembled. “So beautiful,” I whispered once again. I gave him one final kiss on his back before moving in front of him and taking his face in my hands. My heart, the only way to describe the state it was in when I stared up into his tear-filled eyes, was excruciating. Like watching a sad movie play out, one that reaches deep inside to places that are rarely touched, extracting emotions that you never knew you had. And just like in those sad movies where you want to rewrite the storyline to take away the hurt you are feeling inside, I wanted to rewrite Jaxson’s past and take away the pain inside of him, but I knew that would never be possible. The past could never be undone, and the scars that Jaxson carried around on the inside were much deeper than those on the outside. The best I could do was be there for him, compelling myself not to cry, even though there was a waterfall just waiting to flow. I needed to be strong for him. “You deserve happiness. Let me make you happy tonight.” He looked down at me, his eyes still full of emotion as I lifted my shirt over my head and pressed my bare chest to his. He let out a deep breath when my lips found their way to his neck. He stood completely still as I unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down, allowing him to step out of them. His finger slid down to the waistband of my panties, removing them as he laid me on the bed. Slowly and gently he began to kiss my neck, inching his way down to my breasts and my stomach. His lips met the inside of my thigh where he planted tender kisses until he reached the spot that had been yearning for him all day. I let out a cry of pleasure when his tongue began to do things that I had never experienced before. Pure desire was coursing through my veins. I needed more of him. He looked up at my pleading eyes, while bending over and reaching in the pocket of his jeans for his wallet. The few seconds that it took him to remove his boxers and put on the condom felt like eternity as the need to have him inside of me intensified. Hovering over me, he finally put me out of my misery. His movements were slow and intense, just like the first time we had made love, and my body responded in the same manner it did before, taking in every ounce of him and feeling completely fulfilled. I reached up and grabbed his neck, pulling him to my lips. Our tongues moved in perfect tempo with our bodies, creating a beautiful melody. My nails gently dug into him when I had reached my breaking point, and I buried my face into his shoulder, trying my best to stifle my excitement from the pleasure that he was bestowing on my body just as he found his own release. His body collapsed on to mine, and I held him tightly, running my fingers through his wet hair while we both caught our breath. He kissed me on the cheek and rolled on his side. Moving a strand of hair from my face, he held an intense gaze upon me.

“Are you happy, Jaxson?” I caressed the side of his cheek.

He nodded and pulled me close, resting his lips on the top of my head.

“So am I,” I whispered.

I awoke the next morning wrapped in Jaxson’s arms. Hadley was already gone. I always wondered why she showed up at her church hours ahead of time on Sunday mornings, but this morning I didn’t question it; I welcomed it. Doreen had taken Grammy to her church for services, which meant Jaxson and I were all alone and didn’t have to sneak around. I threw his clothes in the wash while we showered together and made him breakfast as his clothes dried.

I was a little disheartened when I looked at the clock and saw it was almost ten. “So, I guess you’ll just meet me at the church at eleven?” I asked as he bent down to tie his shoe.

“I’ll go with you.”

My eyes widened. “Really? For the services?” He nodded. I smiled and hugged his arm. I was going to ask him if he was sure about that but thought better of it after the last few times I had done that.

We walked outside and hopped in my car. I noticed him checking out the interior, and I was hoping that he wasn’t surmising that whole
girls like you
assessment that he had of me when we first met. “If I had my way, I would have just gotten a Mini Cooper, but since my dad was the one paying for it, he got the final say.”

“It’s really nice.”

I shrugged my shoulders. To me, it was just another reminder of how my father tried to make up for his lack of presence in my life. “Can you just stop off at Pete’s so I can change my shirt?” Jaxson asked, looking down at himself.

“Sure no problem.” I made a sharp right into Pete’s neighborhood and before we knew it, we were pulling in his driveway.

Jaxson hopped out of the car and went inside just as Pete popped out from behind the truck he was working on. He picked up a rag and wiped the oil from his hand before walking over to my car. “Headed off to the bake sale?” he asked with a smile.

“Actually, church first, then the bake sale.”

He held his hand over his heart feigning his shock. “Jax Callahan is going to church?”

I nodded and let out a slight giggle. I wasn’t going to ask, but my curiosity had gotten the best of me. “Pete, who were that man and woman at the restaurant last night?”

His smile instantly disappeared, as he turned his head in the direction of the house, making sure Jaxson wasn’t around. “That poor excuse for a human being is his mother…actually the woman who gave birth to him. She doesn’t even deserve the title of mother.” I could hear the anger in his voice.

I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip. How horrible was his childhood that he would shun his own mother? “And the man?” I asked.