Dungeon Games (17 page)

“Karina’s going to be okay in the end because if you break her heart, she’s going to go to her friends and she’ll cry it out and lean on them. You will go back into your shell and pretend nothing is wrong. You’ll go right back to the club and keep searching for your dream cipher and we’re all praying you don’t find her, though there is a bet that one day you’ll show up with a blow-up doll from Japan and the two of you will be very happy.”

“Fuck you, McKay.”

Alex held up his hands. “I’m being honest with you.”

He was sick of this argument. “I don’t understand how knowing what I want makes me the bad guy here. I know what didn’t work. I know I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t want to put anyone through that again.”

“Karina isn’t Maia,” Alex said softly. “Not even close.”

“Yeah, well, Maia wasn’t fucking Maia when I married her. What do you know about Karina’s arrest record?”

He shook his head. “I know that Ian likely has the whole story but if he hasn’t told me then I don’t need to know.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I trust him. At the end of the day, I trust her, too. She’s proven herself to me. Look, I don’t have to know every single thing about a person to know who she is. I know all the facts about Eve. I know every single thing that’s happened to her. I know her stories, and there is a core to that woman that I won’t ever truly understand. She’s a beautiful mystery. We’ve been in bad places, but somehow we figured a way to grow together. Everyone changes. The key is to love her enough to change with her. If you get this dream sub who mindlessly obeys you, you’ll never change at all. You’ll never change for her, never truly sacrifice, and then you will never really love her.”

Did Alex think that hadn’t gone through his head? He’d been over and over it and he’d decided Karina was another one of life’s traps. He would love her, worship her, and she would be okay with that until she found something better. Or worse. She would expect him to join her corral of former lovers. “I tried the love thing before. It didn’t work.”

Alex chuckled but it was a frustrated sound. “Because it wasn’t love. Not really. You were a kid when you married Maia, and then you were pretty much broken and you still haven’t put yourself back together. If you think this perfect sub of yours is going to be the one to do it, you’re smoking something a cop shouldn’t smoke. Karina is smart and strong and if you play your cards right, she’ll be a partner to you. Not like Maia was. You’re judging marriages by your own. Maia is an out of control top who likes to play at being submissive. Karina is a sub in desperate need of a Master who loves and appreciates her strengths and protects her from her weaknesses.”

“From what I can tell, Karina has no weaknesses.” It bugged him. Beyond the dust bunnies she allowed free range of her place, she was perfect. She could handle him physically. Her clients seemed to think she walked on water. Everyone loved Karina. She didn’t really need him.

“Oh, watch her. Stop looking at the surface and get to the real woman underneath. Take off your poop-colored glasses and see things as they really are. If you do, you might figure out that the perfect sub has been standing in front of you all along. And that’s all I’m going to say.”

He sighed with relief. At least the detectives under his command never tried to give him love advice. “Thank god.”

Alex laughed, this time a purely happy sound. “You’ll be on my side of the table one day if you’re lucky and some sad sack just like you is going to need advice. And you’ll give it to him. Take care of her.”

Alex started for the door, and Derek tried really hard to let him go. Really hard. “Alex?”

“Yep?”

“How do I handle the jealousy?” It burned through his gut. It was wrong because god knew he’d been with plenty of women, but what Maia had done to him had left a hole a mile wide that he wasn’t sure how to fill in. Maybe everyone was right and he was interested in a twenty-four seven relationship because he thought it would make him safe.

He wanted Karina. It was time to be honest with himself. He didn’t want to walk away, but he wasn’t sure he could stay.

“Why would you be jealous?”

Was the man going to make him say it? “Look, I know it’s normal to have casual sex when you don’t have a permanent partner. I’ve done it myself so it makes me the bad guy to say this, but it bugs me that Karina hangs out with the guys so much.”

Alex shrugged. “She works with us, man. Are you jealous because she used to play with Liam?”

“And Sean a couple of years back, and now it’s Simon. I know she’s played with Ian.” He kind of hated every single man who had ever touched her. This was why he shouldn’t get too close to her. She made him feel things he never wanted to feel again.

“Yes. Ian still scenes with her when she needs a partner. Charlotte understands Karina’s needs and encourages Ian to work with her. Look, I don’t know why, but Karina needs to scene a couple of times a week. There’s nothing more to it. If you would top her, I think you would find as long as you were around she wouldn’t want anyone but you.”

“And when I’m not? I’m just supposed to be okay with that? I’m supposed to let Simon or Big Tag fuck around with my sub because she needs it?”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “What? Maybe we need to get on the same page here. We’re talking about scenes. Not fucking. We’re talking about flogging and spanking and the occasional whipping if she wants it. Do you honestly think Ian’s screwing Karina? Have you met his wife? First, she would seriously take off his balls and second, she would likely throw down with Karina.” A little smile came over Alex’s face. “Of course, if we could get them to do that in a vat of Jell-O, it might be worth it.”

Was he the only one who saw it? “She goes to privacy rooms with O’Donnell. She disappears with Simon sometimes.”

“I believe you’ll find that all they do is talk. Li likes her. So does his wife. And Simon gets a lot out of aftercare, but I would bet my life that he doesn’t have sex with her. Trust me, that man has more problems with Chelsea than he can handle.” Alex put a hand on his shoulder. “Like I said, take off the glasses you’ve been viewing the world through for the last several years and see her. See who she really is and then if you still want that sub who will never argue with you, never challenge you, I’ll make it my mission to find her. And let the crap Harris talked about go. See Karina for who she is now, not who she used to be.”

Alex patted his shoulder in an almost paternal move and then Derek was alone, the door closing behind McKay. Derek stared out the window, the Dallas cityscape in his vision, but all he could see was Karina. He could see her lying beside him, the early morning light caressing her skin. He could stare at her for hours because she was exactly what Alex had called Eve. She was a mystery.

He took a deep breath and let himself be still for a moment. Years had passed, but he suddenly wondered if he’d ever really come home. He’d held himself apart. He’d let himself go numb because it was better than feeling the pain, better than really healing because if he healed he would have to make the decision to go on living.

The week with Karina had shown him he might want more, but he had to know. He had to know what she was hiding before he could make any decisions.

And if she wouldn’t tell him the truth, then he was a man who knew how to walk away. Even when it hurt.

* * * *

Karina’s cell phone trilled and she glanced down. Damn. Her brother-in-law. She stared at it for a moment. Somehow she didn’t want to answer. Her life seemed damn near perfect and he was threatening that. She didn’t want to think about the past. Just the now. And the now included another cup of coffee.

She touched the button to send the call to voicemail.

“Yes, the doctor said she’s fine. Tristan is doing great. He’s so damn cute, Jake. You have to see him.” Adam Miles walked into the break room with a tablet in his hand. He was talking into it and it looked like he was using Facetime. “He’s gaining weight. He’s up to twelve pounds. He kicks those little legs all the time and I can’t keep him in bundling to save the kid’s life. Our boy’s an escape artist.”

His baby. Tristan. The little guy was eight weeks old and so cute Karina could hardly stand it. He did kick his little legs and push on his blankets until they were gone. He also sucked on an imaginary nipple in his sleep. So freaking cute.

She nodded Adam’s way. Jake was in Europe. They shared a wife. Serena. She wrote romances. Karina liked her books. She gave Adam a smile and he winked her way as he talked into his tablet. “Don’t worry about us. The baby’s fine. Serena’s already working up a storm. We’re cool. Just do your job.”

“I will. I just wish I was with you guys.” Jake’s voice came over loud and clear. “How did the checkup go?”

Adam looked up and winked her way. “Can you hold this for me? There’s something I need to show Jake.”

She was game. She took the tablet and sure enough there was Jake’s face staring back at her. “Hey, Jake. How’s Europe?”

“Shitty. When I think of a cruise, I think of sunshine and warmth. It’s fucking cold in the Baltic. And Big Tag is pretending this is his honeymoon or something. I can’t walk into a room without catching sight of him on top of Charlotte. I’ve seen more of his junk in the last couple of days than in all our years at Sanctum. And Simon and Chelsea are still circling each other warily. Jesse took his training on making towel animals to a new level. He just leaves towel penises in everyone’s rooms. You know, the usual stuff.”

What Jake didn’t mention was that the usual stuff also included near misses with weapons of variable caliber. “You watch your back, Dean.”

Jacob Dean smiled. “You watch yours, too. Or rather let the lieutenant watch it. We got the update. You be careful. Any bullets fly your way, you hide behind Brighton. He’s tough. He can handle it.”

“Okay, turn him my way.” Adam had walked back over from his errand at the fridge. He held a small plate in his hand and a fork.

Karina turned the tablet and Adam suddenly had a shit-eating grin on his face as he held up what looked like a slice of lemon cream pie.

“The doctor’s visit went great,” Adam said. “Perfect. Serena is clear for activities of all kind, so that’s why she made me this pie.” He took a bite, obviously relishing it. “It’s the best pie, Jake. It’s after-baby pie. It’s ‘haven’t had any pie in three months’ pie. It’s all my pie because they don’t have this pie in Europe, motherfucker. Mmmmm. Don’t worry, I’ll eat your share, too.”

“You suck!” the voice from the tablet yelled.

Yeah, she was pretty sure Adam wasn’t talking about pie. At least not the one in his hands. “You two work out your shit. I have a job to do.”

She set the tablet down, grabbed her coffee mug, and started out of the kitchen. The whole time Adam kept telling Jake how good the pie tasted and how long it would be before he got any.

She nearly ran into Liam. Only his big hands stopped her from falling back.

“You all right?” Li asked, steadying her.

She nodded and was grateful she’d only half filled the mug. Derek had brought her coffee in bed this morning. They’d lain there, him watching the morning news and her sipping coffee while she rested against him. It had been peaceful. Just being around her Dom was comfortable. She could let her mind get quiet around him. Not her Dom. He was only hers for a while and she should remember that. “I’m good. What’s the word on the searches you ran? I would ask Adam, but he’s eating pie.”

Li’s eyes flared. “Seriously? He’s doing that in the break room? Damn, the minute Big Tag leaves, everything goes to hell.”

She chuckled. His mind would go there. “Real pie, silly. Serena’s not here. He’s got Jake on line and he’s giving him hell about something.”

Liam snorted a little. “Adam can wait a long time for revenge. I’ll remember that. Come on to my office. There’s been a development.”

She followed him down the hall toward his office. “What kind of development?”

“Apparently you got an e-mail. I just talked to Eve. We missed the meeting, but she forwarded the message to me.”

She looked back at the conference room, flustered. “How the hell did I miss the meeting? I just went to the bathroom and to get a cup of coffee.”

“And I was running a couple of minutes late. I think it was supposed to take longer, but Alex and Eve have some mystery appointment and the ADA got her panties in a wad about something. She was screaming into her cell phone as I walked in and she walked out. Something about a warrant out for her arrest.”

Karina gave him her most innocent smile. “Wow. I would not have expected that.”

Liam’s eyes narrowed. It was times like this she remembered he was a Dom. “What is she wanted for, darlin’, because I’m betting this is Karina karma coming to bite her in the ass. She was mean to you?”

“As far as I can tell she’s mean to everyone. And she cheated on Derek like five hundred times. Did you know she slept with his brother? While he was overseas. Sometimes the universe gets it wrong and it’s up to me to help justice along a little. I think you will discover that she’s had her identity stolen by a notorious madam who runs a house of ill repute.”

Li shook his head. “You’re incorrigible. Derek should tie you to a bench and smack that ass red.”

She would probably like that. “It will all get sorted out. I haven’t done anything that would really damage her, but if she keeps trying to set Derek up with other subs, I might.”

“That’s a whole other issue, K. Let’s deal with the serial killer first. Do you not check your e-mail accounts?” He opened the door to his office and strode to his desk, letting his muscular body slide into his chair. He flipped open his laptop, his fingers moving over the keyboard of his computer.

“I check my work e-mail.” She sunk into the chair in front of his desk and looked at the newest addition to his office. There was a small framed picture on his desk. Karina smiled as she looked at it. A glowing Avery held a tiny bundle in her arms. “How is Aidan?”

Liam’s whole face changed when he caught sight of that picture. “He’s good. Looks more like his mum every day. He’s lifting his little head up and, oh, when that boy cries, he can shake the roof, if you know what I mean.”