Authors: Helen Chapman
Kevin
Yeah. Just because he can’t pay the rent doesn’t mean we should suffer.
Will
He could have got a second job.
Kevin
Or worked nights.
Max
You guys could get weekend jobs.
Will
Good one, Max. And what about my football matches?
Kevin
As if my basketball team could win without me.
Will
It’s okay for Dad. He gets to move in with his mate Terry.
Kevin
Yeah, why can’t we do that?
Max
Because you hate Terry.
Kevin
So? He doesn’t know that.
Max
You called him dog-breath to his face.
Narrator
He did too. But in fairness to Kevin, Terry isn’t big on using a toothbrush!
Kevin
Will is right.
Will
Am I? What about?
Kevin
About moving in with a mate. We’re not allowed to.
Max
Terry lives close to Dad’s work. Dad will save loads of money by not having to catch the train every day.
Will
Nah, he just doesn’t want to live with Granny.
Narrator
Across town, sisters Lily and Becca come out of the train station. They’re having much the same chat as the boys.
Lily
I can’t believe we’ve been kicked out of home.
Becca
It’s all Mum’s fault. She’s so selfish.
Lily
I know! She gets to go on a business trip overseas and we get to suffer.
Becca
Having to stay with Granny for a whole month!
Lily
At least Mum didn’t make us go and stay with those awful cousins of ours.
Narrator
Both girls shudder.
Becca
Urghh! Don’t even joke about it! I bet they’re still not house-trained.
Narrator
As the girls walk to Granny’s house, a bus pulls up. Some boys charge out and push past them.
Becca
Hey! Watch it!
Lily
Who let you apes loose?
Becca
Yeah, does the zoo know you’ve escaped?
Narrator
The boys turn around to face the girls. Then the cousins all recognise each other.
Will
Don’t start! We are
not
having a good day.
Max
I am. Hi Lily. Hi Becca. You don’t live around here, do you?
Lily
Not likely.
Becca
We’re going to Granny’s place.
Max
Cool! Just like Red Riding Hood.
Kevin
So are we.
Max
What? Like Red Riding Hood?
Kevin
No. Going to Granny’s.
Lily
How come? You won’t get any money – it’s not Christmas!
Will
and
Kevin
(
together
)
We’ve been dumped!
Becca
What do you mean?
Max
We’ve got to live with Granny until Dad finds us somewhere cheap to live.
Becca
What? You mean
you’re
staying with Granny?
Lily
But you can’t!
Max
Watch us!
Will
Anyway, what’s it got to do with you?
Lily
A lot. We’re staying there too.
Kevin
You can’t be. She must have confused you with us.
Becca
That’s
so
wrong in
so
many ways.
Lily
Mum told Granny weeks ago that we were staying.
Narrator
She did too!
Max
Well, Dad told Granny weeks ago that we were staying.
Narrator
He did too!
Becca
I bet she forgot about you. It’s easy to do.
Narrator
Who are they again?
Kevin
Look. How are we going to sort this?
Will
It’s easy. The girls all share Granny’s room.
Kevin
So you and I get a room each. Works for me.
Max
And what about me?
Kevin
Ask someone who cares.
Lily
Well, that’s it then, is it? You’ve sorted it all.
Will
Works for me.
Narrator
Becca grabs her sister’s arm and whispers.
Becca
Walk with me. Quickly.
Lily
Why?
Becca
Because if we get there first … then we’ll get our pick of the rooms.
Lily
Oh right. Cool.
Narrator
But the boys aren’t as dumb as the girls think. Well, at least one of them isn’t.
Max
Why are Lily and Becca running off?
Will
Girl stuff.
Max
What?
Kevin
You know. Girls. Bathrooms. They always go in pairs.
Max
You don’t think they might be trying to get to Granny’s first?
Will
For what?
Max
The best bedroom.
Kevin
They wouldn’t dare. Anyway, I’m Granny’s favourite.
Narrator
Even Kevin isn’t sure that’s true!
Max
How are we going to make this work?
Will
It’s easy. Like I said, the girls can share with Granny.
Kevin
So you and I get a room each. Works for me.
Will
And me.
Max
What about me? You always forget about me.
Kevin
So? You’re easy to forget.
Will
I know. We can put you in the shed.