Drowning in Her Eyes (22 page)

* * *
*

J
ack
's
little Yankee sheila
was proving to be the diffe
r
ence between composure and total breakdown for Jack Riordan
. After he
'd received the bad news, he
'
d taken her to the end of the rugby grounds. There
,
a small stream, su
r
rounded by willow trees, burbled its way across a field. The trees were bare and it was very cold; it was the perfect place to grieve. Susan sat on the ground; Jack collapsed and put his head in her lap. He cried quietly for almost an hour. Word had spread of his bereavement, and his friends began to walk towards him to console him. They turned away as Susan gently shook her head. This grief was too personal for that. She wept with him, until finally he stood, grim
-
faced.
“Well,
” he said
.
“There will be a lot to do now. I must leave right away. My family needs me.
”
“I am your family too,
” said Susan,
“You will need me as well.
” He looked at her with a love no one could measure.

* *
*
*

Little girls have a special affinity with their fathers. Denni had this in abundance. She had loved this big tough bushman more than life itself. He had taught her how to ride a horse, how to train dogs, how to love the land, its birds, its animals, and its trees. His big bear hug of protection had brought confidence and security to her. Now he was gone, the main compass point in her life, her lodestone. She could not imagine how she could live now, without him. She stumbled down the church aisle behind her brother. Then she felt a soft and warm hand take hers; it was Susan. She felt drawn to Susan
's side, leaning on her shoulder, sharing the load. You must really love our Jack, she thought, you are our refuge in this stormy sea.

* *
*
*

As the last light left the evening sky, they all gathered around the fireplace in the homestead. Mick
's wife, Dolly, had prepared a meal for them all, but no one was hungry. They all tried not to look at the empty chair. No one broke the silence. They stared into the fire, at its flickering flames, its glowing coals. Occasionally, a piece of wood broke off with a soft thump and a shower of sparks to join the embers. Helen finally spoke.
“My God, he was a stubborn man.
” She said,
“He would
not
listen to the doctors nor to me!
”

Denni said,
“He even gave his life to save that girl in the car. He could not stand by and do nothing. He had to work, Mum. It was part of him; nothing could have stopped him.
”

“He was so kind to me, although he barely knew me,
” said Susan
.

“Jack was his best mate,
” said Helen.
“If Jack loved you, so would he, unconditionally.
”

Slowly
,
the conversation built up, until they were all talking about Paddy, dredging up fond and amusing mem
o
ries of him, then the talk petered out.
“I think we should rest now, we have a lot to do tomorrow.
” said Helen.

Jack walked with Susan to her room. She looked around.
“Wherever are my things,
” she wondered aloud.

Helen appeared beside them, then moved in front of them and reached out her hands to stroke both their cheeks.
“They are in Jack
's room, darling Susan. I think you will need each other more than ever tonight.
”

Meanwhile
,
not far to the north, off the coastline of a small country in Indochina, the des
troyer USS Maddox reported
she was under fire. Retaliatory air attacks d
e
stroyed oil tanks in two naval bases in a small country to their north, in Indochina. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. The big man from Texas now had a blank cheque in Indochina
.

I
n the morning, the whole household had a feeling of desolation. After breakfast, Susan left the family to their business discussions and wandered out into the garden. Ye
s
terday
's rain had passed in the night. Some of the early spring bulbs were out. There were daffodils, irises, and hy
a
cinths, shining with beaded moisture in the early sun, and dozens of beautiful roses. Susan took it all in. What a lovely place! She could not even dare to think that this was where she and Jack might live out their lives. She passed a bower of bougainvillea, just beginning to bud, and saw the creek before her. She wandered down to the garden fence. The creek was in spate, swollen by the recent rain. As she watched, Mick came out of the nearby pump shed.
“G
'day,
” he said,
“you
'd be the little Yankee shelia, wooden ya?
”

Mick was not a tall man, but he looked hard and lean. He was dressed in a flannel shirt and stockman
's moleskin trousers. On his feet, he wore the obligatory RM Williams elastic-
sided boots, and on his head was a battered Akubra hat. He smiled a friendly smile.
“It
's a bugger, ain
't it, about Paddy, I mean?
” He was rolling a cigarette.

“Yes,
” she said,
“I only knew him a little while, but I know he was a wonderful man.
”

“Better
‘n that. He was a good mate.
‘e saved me from the clink,
‘e did, put me on the straight and narrer.
‘elped me in a brawl, then called orf the wallopers. Give me a bloody good job, too.
”

“What will happen to
Ballinrobe
now?
”

“It
'll get bigger and better
‘specially when your young bloke gets
‘ome. If
‘e
's
‘arf as good as his old man,
‘e
'll do me. Me and Ollie
‘ave been talkin
', see. Ollie
‘as been with old Paddy a bloody long time. Loved
‘im like a brother. Nothin
' will go wrong around
‘ere if
‘e
's in charge. Paddy knew
‘e was sick.
‘E give Ollie all the
‘structions before
‘e went. Ollie
'll know what ter do.
” He drew on his cigarette and emitted a cloud of blue smoke.

“What about Mrs. Riordan?
”

“She
'll be orl right. Me and Ollie
'll look after
‘er. She won
't be goin
' nowhere. She loves this place as much as Paddy did. An
' it
's
‘er garden and
‘ouse and all, see.
”

Susan bade him good morning and continued her walk.
What is it about these people
?
she wondered.
How can they inspire such fierce loyalty in their workmen
?
Might it be that Australians treated everybody as equals
,
perhaps?
It seemed that Helen would be well looked after.

* *
*
*

Inside the homestead, they revisited the details of Pa
d
dy
's will. Jack would have
Ballinrobe
, but he could not a
s
sume ownership until his twenty-
first birthday. In the mea
n
time, his mother would administer the estate, involving Jack in as much of the management as his studies allowed. There were generous provisions for Denni and her mother.

On one thing, Helen was adamant. Jack must complete his education. Jack wanted to drop out of his course and come home. Helen would not hear of it.
“You must respect my wishes, Jack, and those of your father. Yes, he was o
p
posed to uni for you at first, but he finally realised an educ
a
tion is going to be the only thing to ensure the future of
Bal
l
inrobe
. Ollie and I can run the place for a few years, with your help during your holidays. I will not be moved on this, son
;
it is final.
”

Jack hesitated. Then that germ of an idea began to wri
g
gle in his brain with great urgency. Finally, the penny dropped for him.
“Mum,
” he said.
“Would you be interested in a compromise?
”

“You
're starting to sound like Paddy already,
” she said
.
“
W
hat kind of compromise?
”

“I will promise to return to uni and finish my degree, if you will grant me one thing.
”

Helen looked at his earnest face.
“What?
”

“I want you to sign my enlistment papers so I can join the University Regiment.
”

“Oh, Jack, I don
't know. Your father was so opposed to the army.
”

“But this
is
different, Mum. It is not the regular army. It is a training unit to train officers for the reserve. They cannot send me overseas, or to fight. They call them
‘Koalas
' b
e
cause they cannot be shot or exported. They get paid too, tax-
free! In addition, if they bring in the conscription thing the Government is talking about, I would be exempt from that. It
's only part-
time, so I wouldn
't be away much.
”

Recent talk of a compulsory conscription scheme for twenty year olds had worried more mothers than Helen. For Jack it was a trump card.
“All
right, if that
'
s what you really want. Send the papers to me and I
'll sign them.
”

Jack said,
“I
've got them with me. You can sign them right away. I
've been carrying them around in case you and Dad changed your minds.
”

“My goodness, Jack Riordan, you are as big a rogue as Paddy was!
”

Jack smiled.
“Sorry Mum, you shouldn
't lead your best card first up!
”

* * * *

That night, Jack and Susan made love with great tende
r
ness. Susan felt some elemental thing stir in her she had not felt before.
“I cannot say how much I love you, Jack, my love is endless
,
”
s
he whispered.
He replied in kind.