Dream On (7 page)

“I can’t stay, Katie.”

She sat up and looked at him, nodding. She’d known that from the first. How, she had no idea. She’d just known that whatever this was, whatever had happened, was only temporary. If she thought she had to be strong five years ago, she was wrong. Now she needed that inner strength more than ever, because she knew that no matter what she wanted, she’d have to let him go. She’d been given a gift, and she was damn lucky to have gotten this much. “I know.”

He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing every knuckle and every finger. “I wish I could. God, I wish I could. You have to believe me. Funny how we never seem to appreciate what we love the most until we don’t have it anymore. Why is that?”

Which was why she’d held onto the feelings of betrayal and anger for so long. They’d protected her from hurt, from her own guilt at not insisting that he slow down, see a doctor more often, anything that could have prevented his death. She laid her palm against his cheek, loving the feel of stubble against her hand. “I should have taken better care of you.”

One corner of his lips curled into a half smile. “Like I would have let you. I was stubborn, arrogant, full of bravado and the feeling of immortality. I ignored every single warning sign until it was too late. I never told you how I felt. If I had…oh, hell, Kate. I don’t know anymore.”

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She brushed his hair away from his forehead, realizing how much both the boys had grown to resemble their father. “We both screwed up, Jack. We didn’t take enough time to love each other. Instead, we spent our lives letting anything and everything come between us.”

And then one day, he was gone. The tears flowed freely now, but she didn’t care. Jack swiped at a tear across her cheek. “I’ve been watching you ever since I left. This…I don’t know what you want to call it…heaven, maybe? It’s hard to explain, but I’ve been able to see you. My heart hurt watching you, baby. You had so much to live for, so much left to do with your life, and you’ve done nothing but wander through the city house and out here, angry at me because I left and angry at yourself because you couldn’t stop it. What happened to me wasn’t your fault at all. It was mine and mine alone. You need to start living again, Kate. You need to find…”

“Don’t say it!” She pushed away from him. “Don’t you dare tell me to find someone else! There is no one else but you. There never has been and there never will be! When you…died, my heart died too. When I married you and promised to love you forever, I goddamn well meant
forever
. ‘Til death do us part doesn’t mean shit to me, Jack. You are my heart, my soul, not just in this life, but in the next! So if you dare to suggest I fall in love with someone else then you don’t know me at all, Jack McKay!”

He sat up and pulled her against him, stroking her hair as she finally let out all that she’d held in since the day he died. Anger fled, replaced by an abject sorrow at all they’d been denied. She sobbed, exorcising the pain that she’d forced deep inside herself for years. And through it all, Jack held her, whispering words of comfort, telling her how much he loved her and holding her tightly against him.

“Why do you think I’m here?” he finally asked. “Yes, I was supposed to encourage you to live out the rest of your years without me, but even now I’m still selfish, Katie. I don’t want any man to touch you but me. I don’t want you to ever love anyone else but me.”

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Jaci Burton

“I never will,” she whispered against his chest. “I can’t, Jack. I don’t know how to love anyone but you.” She touched his chest, wishing she could still feel the strong beat of his heart against her palm. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I’ll never leave you, Kate. I’m here, like I’ve been, by your side, every single day.”

He reached under the covers and pulled out a pink rose. She took it and wiped away the tears, staring in awe at the flower. To see something that could materialize out of nowhere made her truly believe in the magic. Then again, wasn’t that what brought Jack back to her?

“Put this in a vase. Every day when you wake up, there’ll be a fresh one in there for you.”

“I’d rather have you here.”

“You will. You might not see me during the day, Katie, but I’ll come to you in your dreams. I can’t be alive in the way you want, but we can still be together, if that’s your wish.”

“It is.” She didn’t care how, she just wanted to know that he wasn’t going to leave her again.

“I won’t. I’ll never leave you again.”

He tilted her chin up and pressed his lips against hers. She held onto his shoulders and fought the tears, instead letting her love for him well up inside her and burst forth. Passion replaced despair and she straddled his lap, kissing him deeply. Her breasts brushed his chest, her nipples aching as they scraped the fine hairs there. Jack grabbed her buttocks and rocked her against his erection, moistening the shaft with her juices. The time for feeling sorry for herself was gone. For some unknown reason she’d been given a magical gift and she wasn’t going to turn her back on a chance to love her husband for the rest of her life. No matter how it happened, whether in her dreams or some kind of alternate reality, she knew now that they would never be separated again. 54

Dream On

It would be an unusual relationship, one that she couldn’t explain to anyone, but it would be enough to know that they’d been given a second chance to be together, that the rest of her nights would be spent in the arms of the man she loved. Lust for life renewed her and she found the strength she’d lacked for the past few years. She suddenly felt like a young girl again, her body infused with passion, eager to explore her own sexual desires and those of her man.

She dragged her pussy across his shaft, smiling when Jack let out a wild curse and dug his fingers into her hips, drawing her back and forth against his heat. She loved these moments with him. This time when they melded together as one, when she knew that all the pain she’d been through had been worth it. Loving Jack had been worth any price.

“You’re going to make me crazy, Katie.”

“Oh, I hope so.”

He leaned back against the pillows and lifted her hips. “Ride me, baby. Fuck my cock with that sweet pussy.”

Positioning his cock at her entrance, she slid down over him, leaning forward to rest her palms against his chest. She drew down on him slowly, tugging her lip with her teeth as he stretched her, filled her, his cock head striking deep. Her pussy gripped him tight and spasmed in ecstasy, her fluids pouring out and coating his cock and balls with her juices.

“So fucking hot and wet. I swear if I wasn’t already dead you’d be killing me right now, Katie.”

She laughed this time, no longer afraid or in pain. Rocking against him, she pleasured herself and him, splinters of fiery delight shooting straight to her core. Jack reached for her breasts, his fingers finding her nipples and plucking them gently, adding fuel to her already consuming fire. His hands were hot, demanding, tugging, pinching, each agonizing touch against her nipples making her whimper with pleasure.

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Jaci Burton

“Harder,” he commanded, and she lifted, slamming down against his cock and balls, loving the way he groaned, the way his jaw tightened. “Yes, like that. Fuck me, baby.”

She dragged her nails across his chest. He gasped and grabbed her wrists, pulling her chest against his and grinding his mouth against hers. He lifted his hips, powering his cock deep and hard until she felt the oncoming rush of climax. When it hit she cried out, her moans captured by his lips as he drank in her orgasm by plunging his tongue inside her mouth. Hot jets of cream shot deep into her core as he groaned against her lips and came with her.

If she had this to look forward to the rest of her life, she’d die one very happy woman.

Drenched in sweat, they clung to each other. Kate was afraid to stop touching him, wondering when he’d disappear from her arms.

“It’s not daylight yet,” she whispered in his ear.

He responded by moving against her, letting her feel his shaft hardening once again. She smiled in the darkness.

It was quite possible
he
could be the death of
her
. They made love again, all night long, each time pouring more emotion into their touches, their kisses, their whispered words to each other. The ability to give him everything made their lovemaking so much more powerful. When dawn broke, she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. As her lids fell closed, Jack kissed her temple.

“I’ll always love you, Kate. I’ll see you tonight.”

* * * * *

Bright sunlight nearly blinded her. She squinted and pulled the covers over her head, but knew it was well past the time to get up.

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Dream On

She didn’t want to get up, knowing exactly what she’d find, or not find, when she opened her eyes.

But there was no sense evading the inevitable. With a groan of protest, she threw the covers back and slid out of bed, facing the offending sun with an evil glare. Sunlight used to be her salvation from the dreams that plagued her. Now it was her enemy and she welcomed the thought of tonight and bedtime. A single ray of light shined on a bud vase centered on the nightstand next to her bed. In it was one pink rose.

The one Jack had given her last night. She looked around, but knew he wouldn’t be there. Waiting for the inevitable despair to hit, she was surprised to feel suffused with energy and happiness. She had a million things to do before it got dark tonight. Inspiration struck and she wrote like a woman possessed for four hours straight. The prose flowed so easily, almost as if she had been inspired. She laughed at that. Of course she was inspired! She wrote romance! Finally, she could feel the emotions pouring through her like a life-sustaining transfusion. She was in love and she wanted to write about love, about passion, about happily ever afters. Because now she knew it was possible, that dreams really could come true. It wasn’t just fairy tales and fiction. In her dreams she’d wished for Jack to come back to her, and he had.

After spending the morning writing, she showered, dressed and drove into town. The boys met her at their favorite restaurant for lunch.

“You look way too happy today,” Ron said, looking more like his dad every day, all the way down to brushing that unruly thick hair off his forehead the same way Jack did.

J.J. nodded. “No kidding. You get laid last night or something?”

“J.J.!” Lord, he was just like his father, too, with his devilish grin and bawdy sense of humor. Heat suffused her cheeks. Sometimes children were far too insightful. 57

Jaci Burton

“Actually, that isn’t it at all,” she lied. “I’ve just had a breakthrough in my book and I’m really excited about it.”

“We can tell,” Ron said. “Look at you. This is the liveliest I’ve seen you since…”

“Since your dad died,” she finished. “It’s okay. I’m not going to get angry or fall apart anymore. Life is too precious to waste.” She reached for their hands. “Boys, I need to tell you something.”

She took a deep breath, then expelled it. “I realize that I’ve spent the past five years angry at your father for dying, feeling betrayed that he hadn’t lived long enough to see our dreams come true. And that wasn’t right. Your father was an amazing man who made me happy from the time I was sixteen years old until the day he died.”

And even after that, but she couldn’t tell the boys about Jack’s sudden reappearance in her life. First off, they’d never believe her and second, she knew this magical gift had to be kept between her and Jack. “But your father will never really be gone unless we forget him, and that I won’t allow to happen. I don’t want you to do it either. Remember him, remember his smile, the way he used to play catch and soccer with both of you when you were younger. Remember how much he loved you.”

Ron pressed a hand over hers. “We knew that already, Mom. We’ve never forgotten Dad, or ever stopped believing in how much he loved us. It was just…”

She knew what he was going to say, what he didn’t want to say. So she said it instead. “It was just that I was so miserably unhappy after he died that you felt guilty talking about him around me.”

“Yeah,” J.J. said.

“Well, that ends right now. I don’t want a day to go by without talking about your Dad. We’ll keep him alive by remembering his love for all of us. And I will love him with all my heart until the day I die.” Fighting back tears, she smiled at her sons. “Now, you two have to make me a promise. Promise me that you will live your lives to the fullest and never take for granted how tenuous life is. We know better than most how quickly it can all be taken away from us.”

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Dream On

They nodded, and she felt their love pouring through her. She and Jack had done a great job raising the boys. Now that the cloud of denial had been lifted, she realized what a wonderful father and husband Jack had really been. It hadn’t all been bad. In fact, other than the fact he was a total workaholic, they’d had a fabulous life together. The time for regrets was over. It was time to live again. She thought a lot that day and well into the night as she prepared for bed. She showered, fixed her hair, sprayed on perfume and slipped on the scandalously sexy lingerie she’d bought at one of the shops today. Exhausted, she drifted off immediately. A warm hand caressed her cheek. Something soft brushed her lips. She inhaled and caught the sweet scent of roses.

“You look hot tonight, babe.”

“Jack,” she sighed, welcoming him with a smile and open arms. 59

Jaci Burton

Thirty-Five Years Later

Kate finished dictating the last chapter of her latest book, making a note for her secretary who would transcribe it in the morning. She’d long ago lost the ability to type, but she made enough money to hire a staff of people to assist her. She smiled and shook her head, unable to believe how successful she’d become. Touted as the number one writer of romance in the world, she still managed to wow her readers even though she’d just celebrated her eightieth birthday. Her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren had thrown her a party, and she realized while surrounded by everyone she loved what a remarkable life she’d led. But the best part was yet to come. Dragging her worn-out body into bed, she shut out the light and waited. She was tired now. Way too tired to engage in the mad, passionate sex that she and Jack had enjoyed when he’d first returned to her. He, of course, had never aged, while she’d grown gray and wrinkly and riddled with arthritis. He’d still come to her every night, his eyes filled with love and desire for her, despite her advanced age. To him, she was still exactly the same woman he’d fallen in love with all those years ago.