Draw Me In (22 page)

I grabbed both her hands, pulling them toward me. “You listen to me, Hailey Jakes. Your life is so far from over, it’s in a different time zone. You’re going to do this, I promise. You can get your degree, you can be a kickass tattooist, and I’ll help however I can.”

Her eyes were so wary, so wounded, but the hope lingering in their depths nearly crushed my heart. “You mean that?”

I nodded. “I do.” Sliding out of the booth, I held out my hand. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

She took it, and together we left the restaurant before our drinks had arrived. I drove her straight to my house, not letting my brain get a thought in edgewise. I couldn’t. If I thought about this, I’d never go through with it.

But I wanted to. And I knew she needed to. And that was good enough for me.

She held me tightly all the way home, her chest against my back as the bike roared beneath us. Through my neighborhood and up my driveway into my small garage. Just like the night before, we walked hand in hand to the door. But this time, once we went inside, I didn’t hesitate.

“Hailey,” I whispered as my lips descended toward hers. She tilted her chin up to me, accepting my kiss eagerly.

It wasn’t sweet this time. It was full of need, of remembered pain and past mistakes, of passion and connection and more, all at the same time. I held her so close, pressing her body tight against mine. She opened her mouth, begging for more, and I deepened the kiss with sweeps of my tongue in her mouth.

I pushed her toward the table by the door, and she went. Propping my hands under her thighs, I lifted, setting her on the table’s surface. Her legs opened and I nestled between them, never stopping kissing her.

Her hands ran over my shoulders, my back, down to my hips, pulling me tighter to her. God, she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. This was right. This was good. And it would happen tonight.

I ripped my mouth from hers just long enough to swoop down and kiss her neck. Her skin was so soft there, so inviting.

“Neill,” she moaned, tangling both her hands in my hair. “That feels so good.”

“Do you want more?” I asked between kisses to her collarbone.

“Please,” she hissed on a ragged breath.

I didn’t wait. I picked her up and took her straight down the hall to the bed we’d occupied so innocently the night before. Tonight I’d do what I’d wanted to do so badly before. If there was a good reason to wait, I’d managed to bury it so deeply that it didn’t bother me now.

Laying her tenderly on the bedspread, I looked down at her. God, she was beautiful, her knees drawn up slightly, her eyes wide and dazed with lust. Her skin almost glowed in the dim light spilling from the hallway. I pulled my shirt over my head and knelt beside her, running my hand through the chocolate fall of her hair. “You’re so beautiful, Hailey.”

She smiled. “Think so?”

“I do. But I’d like to see more of you.”

She sat up slightly, pulling the shirt over her head. I was almost sad to see it go. Watching her wear my shirt all day had been really nice. But when I saw her underneath, all regret burned away.

“Now I know you’re beautiful.” Looking down at her lacy bra, the demi-cups just covering her nipples, I didn’t think I could get any harder. But when she reached behind her back, releasing the clasp and removing the last covering between her breasts and me, I proved myself wrong.

I lay down over her, gently, slowly, relishing the feel of my naked chest against her breasts. Our kisses were tentative at first as we adjusted to the incredible sensations, but I couldn’t hold back for long. I was too hungry for her. My hands roamed skin I’d only dreamed of seeing, and my mouth soon followed, trailing a line of kisses from her mouth down to her breasts. And when my lips closed over her tight nipple, she gasped aloud.

“Neill,” she moaned, hips writhing beneath me. “Please.”

I knew what she wanted, but I wanted to hear her say it. “Please what?”

“I need more.”

Her jeans were gone in a matter of seconds, and mine quickly followed. She removed her panties herself, the purple bikinis sailing across the room as she knelt before me on the bed. Her eyes were hungry as I removed my boxers, her gaze taking in every inch of me.

“Hailey.” I rested my hands on her shoulders, rubbing down her arms. “I want you to be sure about this.”

“I am,” she said, reaching forward and laying a hand on my belly. I flexed the muscles there reflexively, gratified at her intake of breath. A thought stilled me.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?”

Even though she was naked in front of me, had basically begged me to take her, she blushed at the question. “No, I’m not.”

“Thank God for that,” I said, pressing a quick kiss on her lips. I yanked open the bedside drawer and grabbed a condom, making quick work of putting it on. A moment later, I’d pressed her back on the bed, her breathing heavy and her eyes wide.

“Please, Neill, I want you.”

“I want you, too,” I said before kissing her wildly. Our hands were everywhere, hers on me and mine on her. Every reachable patch of skin was caressed or kissed or both. But when I rose on my hands, ready to enter her, I said it one last time. “If you tell me to stop now, I will.”

She gripped my hips, pulling me forward. “Please don’t stop.”

I slid home, and we both groaned in pleasure. It was so right, feeling her surround me, her legs locked around my waist, her arms around my shoulders, gripping me, encouraging me to move, to take her higher.

So I did.

I moved until her cries were high-pitched, desperate, wanting. And then I reached between us, touching her, sending her crashing into pleasure. And with her body spasming around me, I didn’t hold back.

I called her name, shuddering as my body finally took the release it had been longing for since I’d met her.

Chapter Nineteen

Hailey

A warm arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. I snuggled back happily, bare skin on skin. This was magical. This was wonderful. I wasn’t even afraid to open my eyes, because the good dream had been real, and he was pressing kisses on my shoulder.

“Good morning,” he said, his voice a husky growl from sleep.

“Morning,” I said with a smile he couldn’t see. “Did you sleep well?”

“Definitely. You?”

“Mmm-hmm.” I stretched, loving the way he sighed as my body rubbed against his.

“You’d better stop that or we’ll be in bed all day.”

I laughed. “I’ve got today off, but I don’t know that the boss would be so thrilled with you not going in.”

“I’m the boss, I make the rules.” Despite that declaration, Neill sighed and slid out of bed. I watched shamelessly as he moved around the room, picking up our discarded clothes from the night before and grabbing some fresh ones for himself.

I sat up, keeping the sheets tucked beneath my arms. Neill opened his closet door, his bare back toward me, and I drank in the delicious sight of his tattooed nakedness.

Good God, he was gorgeous.

“I need to grab a shower,” Neill said as he turned. “You can go back to sleep if you want.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m awake now. I should head back to school soon. I texted Jackie last night, but I still have lots of homework to catch up on before classes tomorrow.”

“I’ll be back in a few.” When Neill smiled, his expression was almost strained. I opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but he’d left the room before I got the chance.

I flopped back against the pillows, staring at the white ceiling.

We’d had sex. I’d had sex with Neill Vanderhaven, my boss and the most incredible guy I’d ever met. Would it make things weird between us? I hadn’t thought so at first, but now? My worry went into overdrive as I got out of bed, pulling the silky gray sheets up toward the pillows. What if I’d been bad at it? I hadn’t lied, I wasn’t a virgin, but I hadn’t exactly done it a lot. And it had never felt like that, never been that incredible.

I shook my head as I stepped into my panties. There was no way I could be as good at it as he was. The man had skills in the bedroom, and I must have disappointed him.

Buttoning my pants, I looked around for my bra. Now that my brain was off and running headlong into paranoia, there wasn’t any stopping it. What if he’d only wanted to get into my pants? There were guys like that, after all. But Neill hadn’t seemed anything like that. I moved the shirt I’d been wearing yesterday and spotted the bra folded neatly beneath it. Shrugging it on, I looked downward.

If that’s all he’d been after, and I had disappointed him, would he fire me now? Maybe not from the receptionist job but from the apprenticeship? I’d had a great thing going on, I knew that. During some downtime at the shop, I’d looked up message boards for tattoo apprentices. Most of them did what I did but without pay. Some of them paid thousands of dollars to work with a talented established artist. I had the best setup in the business; had I just fucked it up by being a bad lay?

“Come on, Hailey, don’t be an idiot,” I muttered to myself as I put on the wrinkled top I’d worn day before yesterday. God, I needed to get back to my room, if for no other reason than to pick up a change of clothes. These jeans could probably walk out of here on their own.

Once dressed, I padded into the hallway, listening. Water was running in the bathroom, so I shrugged, moved into the kitchen, and started the coffeepot. As I waited for the magic brew to start its drip, I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath.

What had happened between me and Neill last night had done something to my feelings for him, that much was obvious. I had tried to keep him at arm’s length and failed miserably. So, what now? I cared about him, that was undeniable. And if I was going to keep myself from going crazy wondering how he felt, I’d have to do the impossible.

I’d have to come right out and ask him how he felt about me.

The squeak of the bathroom door opening down the hall made my heart skip, and I busied myself grabbing mugs out of the cabinet. Neill appeared in the kitchen doorway, his jeans riding low around his hips and revealing the top band of his boxers. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and a towel was slung around his neck as he used one end to dry his hair.

“Oh, that’s great. Thanks for starting the coffee.”

“No problem,” I said with a nervous smile, my fingernails scraping across the edge of the countertop in a nervous beat. “It’s almost ready.”

As if on cue, the coffeemaker beeped. With a trembling hand, I poured two cups of the steaming brew and took them over to the table.

I slipped into the seat I’d used yesterday, watching as Neill prepped his coffee the way he liked it. He moved from refrigerator to pantry, stepping through the same beam of sunlight twice to get back to the table. The light illuminated small droplets of water on his chest that the towel had missed, highlighting the definition there. He sat beside me and took a cautious sip, letting out a pleasured groan. “Tastes even better than usual. Thanks.”

I nodded in response. “No problem.” My tongue was in knots, and I took a sip of my own coffee, hoping to loosen it. The black brew was scalding, but I didn’t care. What should I say? How could I ask him? Maybe I should ease into it . . . Yeah.

“Thanks for listening. Last night, I mean. I didn’t mean to dump all my problems on you.”

Neill gave a half-smile. “It’s all good. I’m a decent listener.”

“You’re a great listener,” I corrected him. Silence fell again and I shifted in my seat, wondering if this would ever get easier. A shadow waved across the wall as a playful breeze tossed the leaves of the climbing rose in front of the kitchen window. The small movement didn’t give me any answers, but it did prod me into speaking.

“Listen, about last night,” I said, staring down into my coffee. “I don’t want you to think that I do that a lot. I mean, I’m not easy or anything.”

“I never thought you were,” Neill said in a quiet voice. I chanced a glance over at him. He was staring down at his coffee, too. His large hands enveloped the mug, making it seem much smaller than it was. Kind of like those hands had made me feel last night—small, delicate.

“I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t, well, care.” I knew I should say more; I wanted to, in fact. But the words wadded up in my throat.

When he didn’t say anything, I had no choice but to look straight at him and force the words out. “And I just wanted to ask you, well, if you did. Care, I mean. About me.”

He took a long sip of coffee before replying, and I wanted to scream with anticipation.
Just answer me, Neill. Please, just tell me you care about me.

“Of course I care. You’re great, Hailey. You’re a wonderful friend.”

The word crashed into me like a train. “Friend?”

He nodded. “Yeah. A great friend.” Draining the rest of his coffee, he rose and took his cup to the sink.

I stared straight ahead, stunned. I wasn’t sure what to say. What else there could be to say that would fix this.

“I need to finish getting ready. I’ll be back in a few minutes to take you to school.”

Neill disappeared down the hall, which was good. I didn’t want him to see the tear that was tracking down my cheek.

I had never imagined . . . No. I didn’t want to be his friend. I wanted to be much more. Even though I’d known it was a bad idea, I wanted him to feel about me the way I did about him.

But I’d been wrong.

With a derisive snort, I stalked over to the sink and dumped the last half of my coffee. I thought I had learned from my parents’ mistakes.

Love never got you anything but a broken heart.

Neill

Sunday seemed like the longest day I’d had in a very long time. I’d said goodbye to Hailey at my front steps. She’d declined my offer of a ride back to school, saying there was no need, since there was a bus stop a few houses down. I’d wanted to kiss her but hadn’t.

I’d been a total dick.

I sat at the front desk, at her desk, and waited for the clock to click over to the hour so I could get the hell out of there. Roger had finished his cleaning and was already out the door. Frankie had cut out half an hour ago. I stared down at the black computer screen, wondering what she was doing. How she was feeling after I’d pretty much pissed on what we had shared last night.