Draw Me In (29 page)

That was the day after she’d said she loved me.

Those days were over and dead. I’d better remember that.

Steeling my heart, I opened the search engine and typed in the address. Craisglist.com. I opened the “place an ad” button and began crafting my message.

Receptionist position open for busy tattoo shop in downtown Leesville. Must have prior experience. Tattoos a plus. Apply in person at Sinful Skin. Ask for Neill.

A few quick clicks, and the ad went live. But that was the easy part. I cracked my knuckles before starting the process over again.

Tattooing apprentice position open at Sinful Skin in Leesville. Must have portfolio completed. See Neill.

With the last click, I shut off my heart.

I could move on, but I wouldn’t do this again. It hurt too damn much.

Chapter Twenty-five

Hailey

My wet foot missed the bath mat, slipping on the mint-colored floor tiles. My heart in my throat, I grabbed the towel rack, thankfully righting myself before my head hit the floor. But I wasn’t fast enough to keep my backside from hitting the edge of the tub.

“Dammit,” I said, righting myself and wincing at the pain in my hip. “I really should get more sleep.”

Careful to make sure I was on the bath mat this time, I wrapped myself in a towel, cursing the late night I’d had. Late
nights.
I’d been cramming way too late and for way too long. Just a few more days and then exams would be over. I could get back to focusing on my art and maybe patching things up with Neill.

I wrinkled my nose at the uncomfortable thought, tucking the corner of the towel into itself and yanking open the medicine cabinet to grab my toothbrush. I’d been a bitch to him yesterday. I’d broken down and called him last night, when the shop should have been closed. He hadn’t answered, shockingly enough.

Staring in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, I wondered if I’d screwed everything up with him. My heart ached at the thought. This shit would pass, it was just exam stress. But what if I’d screwed things up for much more than the next few days?

Bluish-white foam splattered into the sink. I yanked on the tap, watching as the clear water chased the foam down the drain. Rinsing my mouth and the toothbrush, I put it back in its corner of the medicine cabinet. I’d just have to hang on for a little while longer, and then I’d make it up to him. I hoped he could understand the stress I was going through. I was definitely willing to admit I hadn’t handled it well.

I tossed the fluffy blue towel, now thoroughly damp, over the upper towel bar. Three classes today, and then I’d go in to work. He’d be there today, and I’d corner him to explain, first chance I got. He’d understand. He hadn’t said he loved me, but I was pretty sure he did. We’d shared so much, talking late into the night. I knew him inside and out.

Shaking off the wistful thoughts, I threw on my clothes, tossed my wet hair into a messy knot, and left the steamy bathroom behind. I had to hurry or I’d be late for class.

“Hey, Hailey,” Jackie said from her contorted position on her unmade bed. Her laptop was propped on her pillows, and she was staring hard at the screen, one leg tucked against her chest, the other stretched out behind her. “What’s the name of that tattoo shop you’re working at?”

I grabbed my bag from the floor, rifling through it to make sure I had the right books. “It’s called Sinful Skin. You coming by to get yourself a tattoo later?” I winked at my roommate. “I’ll see if I can get you a discount.”

Jackie didn’t smile back. “And your new boyfriend. What’s his name? The one who made you his apprentice?”

A funny feeling started twisting in my chest, and I straightened, letting my bag fall into my desk chair. “His name is Neill. Why?”

Jackie sat up and turned the computer my way. “I think you should read this.”

My bare feet didn’t make a sound on the wooden floor as I padded over to Jackie’s bed, but to me, each step was a thundering boom in my ears. Something was wrong. Something was awfully wrong for laid-back Jackie to look so worried.

I bent down to get a good look at the screen. It was a Craigslist posting in the jobs section. For an apprenticeship at Sinful Skin. “Contact Neill,” I whispered, tracing the words on the screen. I looked at Jackie. “What does this mean?”

“It’s the second posting. There’s another one. Here.” Jackie paged back and showed me. “This one’s for the receptionist position.”

I stood, even though I wanted to crumble. I stared at Jackie, wondering if it was obvious that I was about to cry. “They’re giving my job away?”

Jackie slammed the laptop shut, her lips a thin line. “That’s a really shitty joke, if you ask me.”

Tears trickled down my cheeks, and I dashed them away. “I don’t think it’s a joke. Neill doesn’t joke like that.” Rushing to my side of the room, I grabbed my bag. “I’ve got to call him. I’ve got to find out what’s going on.”

“I’m sorry,” Jackie said lamely from behind me. “I didn’t want to make you upset, I just thought you should see it. I was looking for a job for the summer, and I thought that sounded like fun. I didn’t know it was your shop.”

My fingers fumbled on my phone as I opened the address book. “It’s not your fault. Thanks for showing me.”

I connected the call.
Neill’s cell.
Four rings, voicemail.

“Dammit,” I hissed. I glanced at the clock. Too early for the shop to be open, but someone was probably there. I called the main line. Three rings, five, seven, no pickup.

“They aren’t answering,” I said, more to myself than Jackie. Glancing at my roommate, I jammed the phone in my pocket. “I’ve got to go. I’ve screwed this— I need to go see Neill.”

Jackie nodded. “Yeah. I get it.”

I grabbed my bag and flew from the room, my heart clogging my throat and my pulse thready. I had to get there, had to talk to him, see what I’d done. How could they be hiring someone else? I hadn’t quit, and I hadn’t been fired, to my knowledge. And besides that, Neill. God, what had I done?

My footsteps echoed on the steps down from my dorm, and I ran up the crowded sidewalk to the bus stop. Curses followed me as I accidentally knocked a guy off the sidewalk, but I kept running. Classes today would be exam reviews. I’d done enough studying that I shouldn’t fail any of them . . .
 
I hoped. Even if I did, I’d cheerfully retake the credits next semester. Something had gone incredibly wrong with Neill, and I had to fix it.

“Hailey,” someone called nearby. I shook my head and kept running. But the voice came closer.

“Hailey!” A hand grabbed my arm, and I was forced to stop or rip the damn thing from its socket.

“I don’t have time right now,” I said, turning to see who’d stopped me. My stomach dropped, but I kept my face blank. “Sorry. Dr. Fields, I’ve got to go. I’m in the middle of something important.”

He smiled tightly, but the expression didn’t reach his watery eyes. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you, but you left this in my office.” He handed over the notebook I’d dropped in there weeks ago. “Also, I have the information packet here for your adviser transfer. Just take it to the administration building, the president’s office. They’ll know what to do.”

“Okay, fine, whatever,” I said, grabbing the envelope. “I seriously have to go.” The bus was approaching the stop, and if I missed this one, it’d be at least a half hour before the next one.

“Don’t forget. The president’s office,” Dr. Fields said cheerfully, his bright tone out of place, considering the dark look in his eyes.

“Sure. Administration.”

I stuffed the notebook and large manila envelope into my bag while I ran. The bus squealed to a stop right as I reached the curb. At least someone was looking out for me somewhere, I thought with a relieved sigh as I climbed onto the bus. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding and I could head back and catch my last two classes of the day.

Three different times I tried to call Neill as the bus rumbled toward downtown. Three times his voicemail picked up. My leg bounced with nervous energy as I dialed and redialed. After an eternity, the bus stopped at the usual place, down the street from Sinful Skin.

“Thanks,” I called to the driver as I flew down the steps to the pavement.

The midday sun was nearly blinding, but I ran to the little shop that had meant so much to me. How could they take it away? The white-painted building with its black cauldron full of flowers, the walls that were bluer than a tropical ocean. It was mine, in a way. And the guy who owned it? He was mine, too. What the hell was all this about?

The neon sign in the front window was dark. Not quite open yet. Down the private alleyway, I glanced around incredulously. The gravel lot was completely empty.

“Seriously?
Nobody
is here yet?” I grunted in irritation and fished for my keys. Of course, the one day I needed someone to be here early, they all slept in.
Bastards.

I let myself in, disarmed the alarm, and threw my bag in the general direction of the cubby beneath my desk. I didn’t even look to see where it landed. Right now I had to figure out where the hell Neill was and what I’d said to make him think I didn’t want to work here anymore.

I walked out the back door, intending to wait for him in the small gravel lot. The instant he got there, I was going to demand an explanation. It was the least he could give me. I could apologize for being short-tempered with him lately, but this? This was something completely different.

I leaned against the back wall and waited for the sound of a motorcycle to growl down the alleyway.

Neill

I climbed onto my bike once I realized I couldn’t stay home and hide from myself forever. As I cranked the engine and rolled down the driveway, shame chased me.

I had been an idiot. I’d posted Hailey’s job without even asking her if I’d been right about what she wanted. I should have talked to her, asked her what she’d meant when she’d asked for space.

Sunlight danced off the windshields of oncoming traffic, and behind my shades, I squinted. I should have left earlier, but it had taken me forever to write the note that was tucked safely in the front zip of my backpack.

I smiled bitterly as I slowed to a stop at the light on Underhill Street. It was lined with dogwood trees, white and pink blossoms waving cheerily in the breeze. Hailey would have loved to see them. I glanced down, unable to face the beautiful sight after that thought. I was too much of a coward to apologize to Hailey in person. I’d spent the entire morning pouring out my soul with pen on paper, this time with words instead of images. It had almost made me late to open the shop. With both Roger and Frankie off today, it would be just me and Karl until Hailey got there after class.

Hanging a right at the end of Sinful Skin’s street, I slowed my bike, looking hard at the windows of the shop. The lights were on, unfortunately. That meant Karl was already there, in his studio or the office. I slowed to a stop just before I passed in front of the big plate-glass windows and cut the bike’s engine. I’d go in the front, drop the note on Hailey’s desk, and then move my bike around back. I didn’t want to take the chance of Karl seeing me and asking questions I wasn’t about to answer. My giant fuckup was none of my mentor’s business.

I walked quickly as I pulled the keys from my pocket. Finding the right one didn’t take long, and I shoved it in the lock as quietly as I could, staring through the window to make sure I didn’t see Karl. Clicking the bolt open, I remembered. That damn beep would go off, signaling my arrival. “Shit,” I muttered to myself. So much for stealth. I’d have to come up with a good excuse if Karl heard and came up front to see who’d arrived.

Pulling the door open, I winced at the cheerful beep that announced the door’s opening. I looked back toward Karl’s studio, relieved to see the window was dark. Great. He was probably in the john.

With my backpack turned around so I could fish inside the front pocket, I rounded the corner to Hailey’s desk. I pulled the envelope free, smoothing a small crease at the corner. But when I reached forward to place it beneath her keyboard, I stopped.

Her bag was there, books and papers falling out of it like she’d tossed it down in a hurry. But that wasn’t what made me freeze in place, not even my heart beating.

By the corner of one of her textbooks was a large envelope. It had been ripped, and its contents were spilling out all over the black floor. Several small baggies had fallen out, and one seal had broken. Brown pills were spread like cupcake sprinkles over the polished tiles.

I knelt by her bag, moving slowly because I was afraid I’d break. With a trembling hand, I reached out to the spilled pills. Maybe it was ibuprofen; maybe it was something simple. Dreading what I knew I’d find, I looked into the ripped envelope.

A pill crusher. Syringes. More bags with different pills in them. White bars, so many of them. And the little brown pills didn’t say Advil, like I’d hoped they would. The tiny letters oc printed on one side were devastatingly familiar to me.

Oxycodone. Just like Gretchen used to shoot up with.

Hailey was breaking me in the same way my father had. The same way Gretchen had. She was pushing me away, and it wasn’t for the exams.

It was for her drug habit.

“Goddammit,” I yelled in rage, throwing my fist against the desk. Wood cracked in protest, but it wasn’t enough. “Damn you to
hell
.” Another punch, and the side of the desk gave way, forms and monitor falling like dominoes off an unexpected cliff. Amid the anger pouring through me, the yells that seemed to come all the way from the bottom of my soul, I dimly registered a door slamming and footsteps running toward me.

“Neill! Neill, what the hell is going on?”

I whirled when the object of my pain spoke behind me. It was her, standing there in wide-eyed innocence while the evidence of her betrayal laid on the floor behind me.

“What. The.
Fuck,
Hailey. I trusted you.” I moved toward her, not caring that her eyes were going wide with what was probably fear. I was too angry to care if she was scared of me right now. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, and she had the bloody hands. “I told you
everything,
and you do this to me?”