It was the longest six miles I ever drove. When I got there, I heard loud grunts and a metal-on-metal clanging sound and panicked. I didn’t even bother to close my car door before I ran into the building, my heart pounding in my chest and head spewing horrible images of the possible scene inside. I came to a halt, panting like I needed every breath to save my dying body. Axel was in intense combat with
Dimitri
.
No Goarders or the evildoers that were to annihilate the universe. But Dimitri. I would’ve even accepted him fighting puppy snatchers as an excuse for not returning my calls.
Axel moved with such grace and speed, it was hard to even notice the sword in his hand. His toned, lean arms moved with control, each stroke dealt with the grace of a dancer. Dimitri backed him into a corner and Axel bobbed under his massive arm and ran away from him, leading him across the room toward the wall. Dimitri chased after him at full speed. Axel dodged, spun, and pushed off the wall into the air with a backflip, leaping toward him just as Dimitri dived in with his sword.
They collided in midair, Dimitri shouting and slashing at Axel. He kept a firm grip on Dimitri as they crashed into the ground, making me wince at the hurtling sound their bodies made upon contact with the hard floor.
Axel slashed the sword as they moved across the room, but Dimitri deflected his blows easily, moving faster than I could follow. Dimitri kicked Axel in the gut with a triumphant grin on his face. Axel smiled slyly, holding onto his stomach, and stabbed Dimitri’s leg with the point of his sword.
A string of curse words—might I add a very impressive curse words—echoed around the training room. Axel responded with an impressive torrent of obscenity that involved Dimitri’s lack of skill and bruised ego that had everyone in the room laughing. I was impressed.
My lips twitched up in a curve at the image of me kissing that dirty,
dirty
mouth.
Axel finished off the demonstration with a combination of back roundhouse kicks and attack sequences, disarming Dimitri. He stood over his fallen opponent, sword over Dimitri’s throat. A crooked smile spread across Dimitri’s lips as he placed his hands above his head.
"You’re excelling." He chuckled, taking Axel's awaiting hand. "Maybe it's time you got a new bodyguard?"
Bodyguard?
I frowned.
What kind of trouble was Axel in?
"Not a chance, my friend. Not a chance.” Axel patted Dimitri's shoulder and walked back to the group of eagerly awaiting students.
The rest of the group paid close attention to Axel’s instructions. All eyes, filled with admiration and respect, followed him. He stood in front of them with command. I could tell the very reason they all listened to him was because he was a leader. A
serving
leader with patience, understanding, and clear mind.
A slight thrill passed through me, almost making me forget the reason I was here.
Almost.
Then anger whirled along every nerve ending like I was Mother Nature seconds before unleashing her wrath. The ground trembled beneath my feet. Tyler’s eyes flickered in my direction, but I stormed out of the place without a second thought, letting the door close behind me.
After what seemed like hours cooped up in my room, I heard a knock. I ignored it, increasing the volume of my stereo. The chorus of “I Get Knocked Down” by Chumbawamba rang loud and clear, leaving very little guessing room as to my present mood. The door opened slightly and I threw the closest thing I could get my hands on. Joshua caught it without hesitation.
He turned down the volume a notch before he looked at me, his features amused. “Boy, am I glad you hate playing darts.”
“Who says I do?” I gritted out.
I knew my anger was directed at the wrong target, but I’d never felt these emotions before. I had always been a grounded person, but lately…
emotion
was my middle name.
“What is it, Joshua?” I sighed in a lame attempt to calm myself.
“Well, I thought I’d bring you some dessert.”
He handed me cheesecake. Oh, how my brother knew the way to my heart. He sat beside me on the floor, next to my chemistry and calculus books.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” I didn’t want to. And the next second, I did. “I mean, if he’s able to sword fight, you’d think he’d pick up the damn phone and call me. But nooo! Why would he care if I couldn’t sleep and was worried sick for the past twenty-four hours? I saw him almost die, Joshua. I saw you there too.”
His eyebrows shot sky-high. I took a small breath, willing my heart to pace itself.
“It was a stupid dream, but it felt so damn real.” My heart hurt thinking about the events of last night’s dream. I sighed heavily in defeat, the heels of my hands rubbing against my eyes. Joshua placed a hand over my shoulder and squeezed in a comforting gesture. “I was stupid to think I was important to him. Guess what? He’s not that important to me, either.”
My heart ached as the last words left my mouth. Somewhere deep down, I knew I was being emotional and irrational. But damn, after everything I went through, I had every right to be pissed.
“Why do you think you’re not important… to him?” Was he even listening to what I just said? Comical laughter erupted. Joshua put his hand on mine. “Why don’t you come downstairs? It’s almost dinner time.” When I pulled away, he was insistent. “I won’t let you starve yourself for an ungrateful boyfriend.” He winked at me.
“Okay. But only because you called him an ungrateful boyfriend,” I responded.
I’m glad I didn’t miss dinner. It was delicious.
“I didn’t know you could cook this good.” I took another bite and moaned around the delectable steak.
“I didn’t,” he simply said.
“Take out seriously can’t be this good.”
“Axel cooked dinner… to apologize,” Joshua said carefully, drawing out each word. I nearly choked on the piece of beef. “Listen, kiddo, God only knows that I haven’t been the greatest big brother in the world. Hell, no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to be able to spend more time with you. But you’ve always been my number one priority.”
“What are you getting at, muskles?”
He looked down at his food, twirling his fork into the mashed potatoes.
“I hate admitting this.” He looked uncomfortable. “Axel…”
“Don’t go there.” I finally understood. “You and he aren’t the same.”
“He loves you, killer. He’d do anything to make you happy. Even die to keep you safe. Just as I would. His love toward you is unconditional.”
I knew Axel loved me. Elijah told me that much not too long ago too.
“I’ve never seen anyone bust their ass to get a girl to forgive him like he did today.” He smiled at me. “That’s not a store-bought cheesecake.”
I admit, my heart swooned a bit with the mention of the homemade cheesecake. Axel really did go out of his way to plan this big, absolutely scrumptious meal for me… for us. But, that still didn’t excuse the fact he didn’t have the decency to at least let me know he was okay. Even to apologize in person.
“Well, he isn’t getting off the hook just because my stomach’s satisfied.”
Okay, maybe now I didn’t want to kill him with my bare hands.
Nonetheless.
“Well, I could ban him from the face of the earth if you want me to.”
“No,” I shouted too quickly.
Joshua gave me a knowing smile.
“I’ll let him suffer for few days.”
“If he lasts that long.” He chuckled. “Cut him some slack okay, kiddo? We’re all flawed in some way. Do what you feel in here,” he said, pointing to his own chest. “And wherever you go or whatever choice you make, dive in without holding back.” He rose from the dining chair and paused before he reached the sink. “At least his flaws are tied to his
responsibilities
.”
I raised my eyebrows. There was no way in hell Joshua knew what Axel was. Or did he? Did Axel actually tell Joshua the truth? I shook my head at that abstruse thought.
No way.
What
did
Axel say that had my brother eating out of his hands?
That,
I’d love to find out.
“Here.” Joshua handed me two dozen red roses after the dishes were done. “From Axel,” he said with a pat to my head.
I turned to head upstairs.
Once I got into my room, I noticed light sparkling between the flowers. I took a closer look and pulled out a gold-dipped rose. There was an inscription along the golden stem.
“I will love you until the day this rose withers.
Your
Alexander”
A shiver passed through me as I reread his endearing words and the meaning behind them. Love was meant to be experienced in the darkest of misery and through the lightest of happiness. It was both hope and despair. It wasn’t easy. But nothing worthy comes easy. If it were, it wouldn’t be eternal… immortal… indestructible… That much I knew.
Loving Axel was complicated… even dangerous… But Axel and I were infinite.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I told Joshua I would be spending the night at Pey’s and we’d ride to the airport together.
That is a lie.
But he wouldn’t let me go if I told him where I was headed. I mean, what kind of big brother would allow his baby sister to spend a night with her boyfriend?
I parked my car a block away and walked toward Axel’s house. He once told me about a door concealed by a bush at the rear of their home that led to the basement. I just prayed the basement door wasn’t locked.
“Ouch,” I yelped as I stumped my toe on something hard. I should’ve brought a flashlight or something.
Great planning, Einstein.
Using the backlight of my phone, I searched for the trapdoor. After a few more stubs and unnecessary bruises, I finally found it.
“No wonder this was unused,” I mumbled and opened the door. It creaked on the rusty hinges and I froze in place, holding my breath. After a moment’s silence, I slipped inside and found myself dropping three feet to the boreal cement floor.
Stifling a surprised squeal, I stood up and dusted off my knees and hands before heading up the creaky stairs.
Can this night get any better?
As I approached the door, my hand reached for the cold knob and twisted it slowly. Once again I prayed it wasn’t jammed or locked. When the door opened without hesitation, I let out a sigh of relief.
Now the hard part is done
…
I used my not-so-super ninja skills to sneak up the stairs and smiled at myself for making it this far without detection. A reverent moment of silence followed me when I slipped into Axel’s room, closing the door behind me. I locked the door with a soft click before turning around. I gasped.
The curtains were drawn open to the backyard. Small flickers of light illuminated the room at the ceiling level, giving it a solemn ambience befitting the moment. The silhouettes of the trees danced against the walls of the room in a wavelike pattern. A huge fake fireplace hung midway on the wall in the far corner of the room, giving the impression of warmth. To the left, a stack of unorganized books, CDs, and movies were dispersed. Good to know he wasn’t all about classics and messy like any other teenager. I ran the tip of my finger along the edge of the shelf, observing the details of his world. A study desk and plush, green rectangular sofa faced west beside the huge door at the far end of the room, which I presumed led to his private bath and closet.
Very few pictures added tranquility to his room, but one in particular caught my eye. A beautiful woman, with waist-long thick black hair, stood in a white ballroom gown embroidered in a golden floral pattern. She smiled at a little boy, maybe seven years of age, in a tuxedo, looking up at her with a mischievous smile, hands totally dirty. I recognized that smile.
Alexander and his mother.
I turned around to face a massive king-size bed in the middle of the room, covered in plain green and white mixed bedding. In the middle, Axel sprawled in his sweat pants. Hell, even in his sleep he was God-made perfection.
Seeing him half naked, my heart skipped a beat and nerves kicked in. Tight ridges and contours graced his back as it rose and fell to the rhythm of his breath. His triceps were toned like Michelangelo’s marble sculpture.