Downside Rain: Downside book one (26 page)
Read Downside Rain: Downside book one Online
Authors: Linda Welch
I’m
tense all over. “I take risks all the time.”
“Not
with your heart.”
Gods,
this is too much. I can’t stand it. I struggle, really struggle and his arms
snap apart to release me. Moving away, I spin to face him and angrily pass the
back of my hand down my cheek. My eyes are hot and moist.
I
try to make my voice cold but it wavers. “Get out.”
“I
won’t force myself on you.” Talking must be difficult with a jaw that tight.
“You
just did!”
His
eyes lock on mine, then he drops his head. He sighs, and looks at me again. “Whoever
said old habits die hard was right. I was arrogant. I didn’t mean to treat you cavalierly.”
His voice becomes gentler. “Rain, I know what you’ve heard about me. A lot is
true but it’s in the past. I’m a different person now.” He smiles faintly.
“Yes, I know – how many men have said that to a woman when it’s meaningless
placation? But it’s true. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove how much you
mean to me. Tell me what you want and I’ll put my heart and soul into giving it
to you.”
My
lips are dry, my throat wants to close up. Speaking is painful. “You can’t give
me what I want.”
“Tell
me.”
What
do I want? I remember the dwarf couple in the cemetery and my pulse skips to a
rapid tempo.
I
want that.
I
nearly died and now I want more from life, more than a partnership with
benefits. Is it too much to ask? Why should I settle for less? Why shouldn’t I
have a
meaningful relationship?
But
if I do, it will be on my terms.
I
lift my chin defiantly. “I want a man who’ll never betray my trust in him and
never, ever lie to me. He’ll make me laugh and laugh with me, not at me. He’ll
understand sometimes I say one thing and mean another, and there isn’t always a
reason I’m in a bad mood. He won’t try to change me and I won’t try to change
him.”
Alain
tucks his chin into his neck. “You’ve put a great deal of thought into what you
want,” he says, trying to look solemn and failing.
No,
I’m imagining a paragon of masculine virtue who can’t possibly exist, but my
mouth won’t stop spouting ad lib. “And I haven’t finished.” I poke the air in
front of his chest. “I want to walk down the street holding hands with my man.
I want to dine with him in restaurants, have breakfast in cafés. I want us to
go to the theater and skating in the park. And I want to be the one woman in
his life.”
The
corner of his mouth tics in a disarming smile. “You want to be courted? I will
woo you to within an inch of your life and sanity.”
“Woo?”
My hands settle on my hips. “I don’t want to be wooed!”
His
voice turns serious again. “With your permission, I would like to try.” He
steps forward.
I
step back. I’ve accepted myself for who I am. I like myself, and manipulating
my body is as natural as breathing. But I know how other Downsiders perceive
us, creatures neither one thing nor the other, not whole. The entities who
inhabit Downside are astonishing, many of them fearsome, some downright evil,
but their nature is known and understood and therefore accepted. Downsiders
don’t understand how wraiths can exist, don’t know if we are alive or dead. They
fear what they don’t understand, and fear manifests in different ways, often as
loathing.
The
intimidating, powerful, fawned-over Alain Sauvageau publicly intimate with a
wraith? No way.
“You,
and a wraith? What will it do to your precious reputation?”
“I’ll
survive. I don’t give a pixie’s ass what anyone thinks.” He holds his arms away
from his sides. “I walked through Gettaholt like this. Do you know how many
people saw me, looked again, laughed and whispered? Do I care? No.”
Does
he mean it? Men like Alain Sauvageau stand or fall by their reputation. Doesn’t
he realize his rivals may see a romantic relationship with a wraith as a lapse
in judgment, a weakness, an indication he’s losing his grip?
He
moves nearer and I stay where I am. His eyes, earnest and smoky, make me
unravel.
I
have to ask myself why, a moment from death, I wanted Alain more than I have
ever wanted anything.
He
holds his hand to me. “Rain, I will be proud to walk through Gettaholt with you
at my side. I’ll never try to change you because you are perfect the way you
are, and I will
never
intentionally hurt you.”
In
a rusty voice, I repeat what Castle once told me. “Relationships are hard
work.”
“Made
of highs and lows, they don’t survive if you run away at the first sign of
discord. We’ll laugh together, perhaps we’ll cry, and I’m sure we’ll fight. I
won’t pretend it will be easy. Rain, we can’t predict what life together holds
for us, if our feelings for each other will survive and grow, but don’t they
deserve a chance?”
I
don’t think I have been able to breathe properly since he arrived. Now I stop
breathing altogether. He confuses me and turns my brain to mush.
I
lift my hand to meet his. Our fingers mesh. I let him pull me in. His arms
embrace me and I give myself up to them. I relax, perhaps for the first time in
my life. My cheek is on his solid chest, I breathe in his slightly sweaty,
woodsy male scent. Buffered by skin and flesh and muscle, I still feel his throbbing
heartbeat. My arms snake around his waist.
Is
there a future for us? I don’t know, and never will if I don’t give us a
chance. This is it, a now or never moment.
Life is an adventure, Rain, you
have to take risks if you want the rewards
.
He
tilts my face with a finger under my chin and lowers his head. His eyes are on
my lips.
“And
you heard me say I want a monogamous relationship?” I want him to be sure of
that part.
He
angles his head up and laughs. “Only you, Rain. Is that it, or are there more
stipulations?”
“Not
right now, maybe later. Tell me one thing, Alain.”
“Anything.”
“I
want the truth.”
“You’ll
get it.”
“What
are you?”
He
smiles against my mouth. “A man, my darling. Only a man.”
Also
by Linda Welch
Whisperings
Paranormal Mystery Series
Dark
Urban Fantasy Short Story Collection
Dear
Reader,
I
want you to know how important you are to me. Without you, I’d be a writer who
keeps her stories on a computer never to see the light of day. Your interest in
my books encourages me and spurs me to write more.
You
are also an important part of my publishing process. Yes, you are! Your
feedback helps me shape future novels.
If
you’d like to give me feedback, you can email me at
[email protected]
. Alternatively,
you can publish a review where you purchased this book. But there is no
obligation. I’d be delighted if you jump onto my web site
http://lindadwelch.com
just to chat.
Of
course, if you
want
to leave a review where you purchased this book, I
won’t discourage you. Promoting a new book when you’re an independent
storyteller with an advertising budget which ranges from nonexistent to
mediocre can be a hit and miss affair. Reviews let other people decide if a
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Thank
you for spending precious dollars (or pounds, or Euros) on Downside Rain and
taking the time to read it.
Acknowledgements
Thank
you, thank you, triple thank you to my editor Ms. L; my copy editor Pam and my beta
readers:
Brandi,
Don, Donna, Ellen, Flo, Gaby, Janet, Jason, Jo, Mary, MaryAnne, Maureen,
Misty C, Misty N, Precious Pete, Robby, Wendy. Hope I didn’t miss anyone.
Your
awesome recommendations made this story grow and change for the better!
About
the Author
Linda
Welch was born in Hampshire, England. She lived in Idaho, California and New
Mexico before settling in Utah. She now lives in a mountain valley, more or
less halfway up the mountainside, with her husband and Scottish terrier. When
not writing and depending on the season, she is usually walking the Scottie,
filling the bird feeders, futilely attacking the weeds in her garden or
shoveling out after a snowstorm. If you’re so inclined, you can visit her at
http://lindadwelch.com
where you can also
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