Down to My Soul (Soul Series Book 2) (20 page)

“Maybe if you hadn’t started humping my leg as soon as I walked through the door.”

“You’re so conceited.” She chuckles, tracing the musical notes over my ribs. “How long do I have you?”

“Just tonight.” We stop smiling as that sinks in. That when we wake up in the morning together, it’ll be the last time for a while. “I checked the mistletoe schedule and realized you were headed for Berlin. Since Kaos lives here, I suggested coming to him instead of him flying to LA. I’m going to his home studio in the city tomorrow, and then I gotta fly back to work on Marlon’s album.”

“I’m glad you came.” She drops her eyes from mine, biting one corner of her mouth. “I needed this.”

So did I. I had to flip the world upside down and spin it around a couple of times to make this happen, but I’d do it again if it meant having this. Just one night. If anyone had told me a year ago I’d cross continents for one night with a girl, I would have laughed that person out of my face. And yet here I am. One night only and feeling no regret.

“How’d you get into my room?” Kai wears a frown at the top of her face, smile at the bottom.

“Luke told your road manager he was playing a joke or a prank and needed to leave something in your room.”

Her fingers go still against my chest, and she looks up, smile gone.

“Luke?” She pulls back. “Luke got you into my room? He knows you’re here? Knows we’re together?”

“I know you don’t want us public right now, but Luke’s not public.” I brush my thumb over her lips. “We can trust him not to tell anyone.”

“Yeah, I know how close you guys are.” She closes her eyes briefly before opening them again, finding mine in the half light, reluctance all over her face. “He, um, well, he saw something earlier today that he may have misunderstood. I need to tell you about it.”

“What happened?” My hand falls away from her face.

“So he, uh, saw Dub kissing me backstage.” She grips my biceps right away, probably because she already knows I’ll find Dub and kick his ass all the way back to Ireland’s fields of green. “I didn’t kiss him back.”

Volcanic heat scalds my face and neck, lava red hazing my eyes. She’s still talking, but I couldn’t tell you what the hell she’s saying. I haven’t heard a word since she said Dub kissed her.

“What the fuck, Pep?” I toss the sheet back and turn away from her, planting my feet on the floor, squeezing the edge of the mattress. Holding on to my control. My fingers rake through my hair as I struggle to check the rage pumping hot through my veins.

“I didn’t kiss him back.”

I glance back to see her sitting up against the headboard, eyes wide and lips still swollen from our kisses, from being wrapped around my cock.

“He kissed you? You let him?”

“No, as soon as he grabbed me—”

“
Grabbed
you?” I stand and face the bed, searching her arms for bruises I might have overlooked. “Did he hurt you?”

“No, not like that.” She tips her head back to study the ceiling like it might help her get me to understand before she looks at me again. “It happened so fast. One minute he was asking me to dinner and the next—”

“Asking you to dinner?”

Like on a date?

“He asked if I wanted to go out, which wasn’t a big deal. Then he said he knew I was still getting over you, but he thought we’d be good together if I would give him a chance.”

“What kind of chance?”

“You know what kind of chance, Rhys.” She pulls the sheet taut over her legs before looking at me. “He hasn’t said anything like that while we’ve been on tour, and he’s never tried anything before. Nothing’s been going on. He pulled me in for a kiss and I jerked back immediately, but Luke saw.”

I snatch my jeans from the floor, zipping and snapping them, long, swift steps taking me toward the bathroom.

“You’re not hearing me,” Kai says from the bed behind me. “Nothing really happened. I just didn’t want Luke to think something did and tell you and . . . you know.”

I look back to see her standing on her knees in the middle of the bed, sheet wrapped haphazardly, barely covering her breasts, dark hair spilling around her shoulders. She looks so damn delicious I want to bury my head between her legs and eat that sweet pussy ‘til the sun comes up. I still taste her, and the thought of Dub ever . . .

“Fuck!” Anger sets the expletive off in my mouth, and I walk into the bathroom. “I need a minute.”

“Rhys, just listen—”

“When you need space, I give it to you.” At the bathroom entrance I face her, arms overhead, gripping the doorframe. “So give me a damn minute.”

I close the door with more force than I intend, sitting on the edge of the tub, the insulated quiet of the luxurious bathroom denting my fury. There’s nothing to this. I’m sure that’s what she’s trying to tell me, but I can’t hear it right now. Dub kissed her? He grabbed her? He asked her out on a date? A tiny voice in the recesses of my mind warns me not to trust her, tells me there’s got to be more to this. That where there’s smoke, there’s gotta be fire. That voice can shut the hell up. What do I give a damn about smoke? Kai’s all I want, and I’m fooling myself if I think as soon as I’m on the other side of that door I’ll be able to resist her.

It’s not even the kiss. The actual kiss. I can’t help but remember those images of the two of them on Instagram having fun on this tour. Just because she loves me, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like him. They have a lot in common. I’ve seen them dance together, and their chemistry is undeniable. They’re
friends
. I shouldn’t begrudge her that connection.

But I do.

He likes her. He
wants
her, and for him to have taken a kiss . . . Every kiss is mine. That’s an intimacy he doesn’t get. Ever.

Damn thief.

The door cracks open, and Kai sticks her bed-rumpled head in, an unspoken plea loud in her eyes.

“Your minute’s up,” she whispers. “Can I come in?”

When are you ever out?

I nod, studying the cold tiles under my bare feet. She steps in wearing the wife beater I had under my sweatshirt, so big on her the collar slides off her shoulder, barely covering her breasts, and the hem hangs to mid-thigh. The sight of her in something that still smells like me, may even still hold the heat from my skin, softens the hard knot of rage in my chest.

She sits on the floor, back to the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, hands wrapped around her ankles

“You know I wouldn’t kiss Dub, right?” she asks softly. “And you can only blame him for so much because I didn’t tell him we’re together. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”

She looks up, shoulders tensed like she’s braced for a blow.

“I’m not comfortable with this arrangement anymore,” I say after a few seconds I use to calm down a little more.

“What arrangement?” Caution takes over her expression.

“You working so closely with Dub.”

“Rhyson, I don’t get a say about that. It’s Luke’s tour, not mine.”

“It could be. You could come to Prodigy and have your own tour.”

“Oh, you mean you could
gift
me a tour out of the goodness of your heart.” She shakes her head, dark strands of hair clinging to her shoulders. “When will you get that I don’t want you giving me anything. I don’t want a hand out because I’m your girlfriend.”

“This is a useless conversation because we won’t see eye to eye.” I grip my knees, holding onto my control. “And I didn’t cross the Atlantic to spend the one night I have with you fighting.”

She nods, looking up from the floor, the stiff lines of her face softening.

“What do you want, Rhyson?”

I shake my head, a weary sigh crossing my lips.

“Don’t ask me that unless you really want to know.”

“Tell me.”

“Okay.” I shove my fingers through my hair, looking her dead in the eye as I lay it all out on the line. “I want Dub out of your life. I want you off this tour that’s wrecking you. I want you on my label where I can take care of you. And I don’t want to pretend we aren’t together. How’s that?”

She gives me a look that’s half helpless, half frustrated.

“Those are all things I can’t change right now, Rhys.”

“Won’t,” I correct. “Things you
won’t
change. Not can’t.”

She presses her forehead to her knees, muffling her words.

“Then I don’t know how to make you happy.”

I’m not handling this well. Neither of us is. We take turns hurting and pissing each other off. I brush her hair back and cup her chin, bringing her eyes back to me.

“Kai, I have you back. We just had amazing sex, and I get to fall asleep with you in my arms tonight. Believe me—I’m happy.” I force a smile. “You asked me what I
want
. That’s something different.”

“Most of what you want is out of my control.” She grabs my hand stroking her hair, turning my knuckles to her lips. “What
can
I give you?”

Such a dangerous offer. If she’s not careful, I’ll take everything she has just because I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having any of it.

“Tell him.” I slide down the tub rim until we’re close enough for her to rest her head on my knee. “The media is one thing. I get that. We won’t go public until the tour is over, but Dub needs to know we’re together and that what he wants won’t ever happen.”

“I can do that.” She lifts her head and meets my eyes. “I’ll tell him.”

“I’m sorry if you think I’m overreacting, but—”

“I don’t.” Her short laugh bounces off the bathroom walls. “While you were in here taking your minute, I thought of how I’d feel if some other girl kissed you. I’d respond the same way.”

“Really?” I never think of Kai as jealous or possessive, but I like it. A lot. It’s nice to not be alone in this.

“I’m yours and you’re mine, right?” On her knees she crosses the space between us until she’s between my legs, her elbows resting on my knees. “No one else gets to touch you either.”

She claims me with a look before leaning in to add a kiss. Maybe she means for it to be quick, but I can’t let her go. My hands at her hips urge her closer. I deepen the kiss until we lose minutes in one another, our lips clinging, hands clutching, breaths catching. The thought of someone else tasting her like this sends a chill across our passion. I’m chilled another degree when the image of Jimmi naked in my shower a few weeks ago revisits me. If I’m expecting full disclosure from Kai, I can’t give her any less.

“Hey, I need to tell you something, too.” As much as I’d rather just scoop her up and tuck her in, because the signs of exhaustion show all over her face the later it gets, I need to say this. I owe her that.

“Talk.” She yawns, covering her mouth, eyes watering. “Sorry. Early morning. Long day.”

“I’ll make this quick so you can get some rest.” I haul in a breath and dive in. “You know Jimmi and I have been friends a long time, right?”

“Since high school.” She nods, coughing a little.

“Yeah, since high school.” I slide down off the edge of the tub until I’m on the floor, bare back pressed against the side. “Well, there was one night when we were, uh, more than friends.”

I let that sink in before meeting her eyes. She’s gone still, a small frown gathering on her face.

“The two of you—”

“It was one night,” I cut in. “I was on her tour for some dates last summer. We got drunk, and I barely remember it. It meant nothing.”

Better revise that.

“Well, it meant nothing to me, but Jimmi, she . . . it meant something to her.”

“You never thought to tell me this before?” she asks quietly, studying the dark paint on her toenails that’s started chipping.

“I didn’t think it was important.” I shrug. “It happened before you and I were even together, and I thought she’d gotten over it.”

“But she hasn’t?” she comes back right away. “What happened?”

“Couple of weeks ago she came by my place because I was supposed to be working on a song for her. She could see I was, um, missing you.”

No need to detail how I was basically off the grid and living under my piano because Kai wouldn’t talk to me. A man’s gotta maintain
some
self-respect.

“That’s when she showed me the pictures of you and Dub on Instagram. Started building a case that we should give it another go since you had moved on with him.”

“I don’t even manage that account, Rhys. Malcolm wanted me to have a presence on social media. One of his interns posted all that stuff. She took a ton of pictures in a few days and just spread them out over several posts.”

“Whatever. Doesn’t matter.” It really doesn’t right now. I need to get this out. “I told her I didn’t believe that, and that you and I . . . well, there was still an us.”

“As much as I fought it,” she says, eyes softening a little. “There was always still an us.”

“Glad we can agree on that.” I bite the inside of my jaw before continuing. “I went upstairs to grab a quick shower, and she snuck in behind me.”

“In the shower?” Kai’s eyes go wide. “She was in your shower? Were you naked? Was she? What happened?”

The questions fly past my head, and I try to field them as they come.

“Yeah, in my shower where I was naked and so was she.”

“And what happened?” Kai demands.

“Nothing.”

Give her all of it, my conscience screams at me.

“Okay, something small happened,” I say. “I pushed her away immediately, though.”

“You mean like how I pushed Dub away immediately?”

“I don’t appreciate the parallel, but yeah. Like that.”

“She just kissed you?”

“Um, no, she actually didn’t.” I hesitate before giving a mental
what the hell
and coming out with it. “She grabbed my dick.”

All is quiet for a moment, and I’m not sure she heard me.

“Pep, I said she—”

“No,” she cuts me off, wrapping her fingers around my cock through my jeans. “She grabbed
my
dick, and if she does it again, she’s gonna get herself slapped. You should convey that to her.”

This is so damn hot. It shouldn’t be, but yeah.

“I’ll make sure to tell her.” I barely breathe lest she take her hands away from my very happy place.