Down a Lost Road (11 page)

“
Some people can’t see
him?” I asked. “Why not?”

“
It’s a gift – given to
some, withheld from others.”

“
But everyone knows that
some people can see him?”

I heard him sigh. “Some people don’t believe
it. Some people despise those of us who can, and call us deceivers
and cast us out of our homes.”

I knew I should shut up and let the matter
drop, but I couldn’t. “Why?”

“
Would you expect them to
do otherwise? Really?”

I frowned, trying to imagine how I would
react if I were one of the non-gifted people, or if it happened on
Earth. I’d probably judge, too. I’d probably think those people
were certifiable crazies. But now it made me furious, because
apparently I was one of the whackjobs.

“
But why not try to prove
it? I’m sure Akhmar could reveal himself if he really wanted to,
and prove you right.”

“
What good would that do?”
Yatol asked. “It’s not about us.”

“
Yes, it is! If people turn
on you for something like that, then it
is
about you, and
you should do something about it.”

“
It’s a gift, Merelin. We
can’t make demands on the basis of a gift.”

“
Maybe you just like being
persecuted because it makes you feel special,” I
snapped.

I regretted the words. I don’t know why I
was so enraged. It was idiotic to be angry
at
someone when
you were really just angry
for
them, but I couldn’t help it.
And when Yatol never answered a word, I could still feel his
frustration. Well, I’d given him every reason to hate me.
Stupid, stupid
.

I wanted to tell him I was sorry, but the
word stuck in my throat. I sighed and rolled over, hating the tense
silence surrounding me. Akhmar arrived not a moment too soon, and
dropped onto the ground by the pool.

“
Well,” he said
simply.

His voice lingered on the air like the smell
of lilacs in a garden, but for some time Yatol persisted in
silence. I wondered if Akhmar would be angry with me, too, if he
knew what I had said.

“
Well,” Yatol echoed,
finally. “What did you find?”

“
Enhyla. He has heard that
you are coming.”

“
He has? From
Khymranna?”

“
No, Tyhlaur.”

“
Tyhlaur!”

“
He is still with Master
Enhyla. If we hurry you might still be able to see him.”

“
But I thought he was still
on the hunt.”

“
He returned just after you
left. He is the runner for the outer post now.”

A brief pause, then, “I’ve been wanting to
see him for some time now.”

“
He said he would wait if
he can. Yatol, he does not know. Enhyla has said nothing to him as
of yet.”

“
Why not?” Yatol sounded
surprised.

“
It is dangerous,
especially as he is a runner. You know they are never told more
than need be.”

“
I only thought…” His voice
died, then he said, “Syarat only told him of me?” It was
half-statement, half-question, and Akhmar didn’t answer. “Well, I
suppose he shall know soon enough.”

I crept back out of the shadows to sit with
them, trying to catch Yatol’s eye. With Akhmar sitting between us,
it reminded me of a couple of bickering kids facing each other in
front of the school counselor. Maybe I should just pretend it never
happened.

“
Who are Enhyla and
Tyhlaur?” I asked, a peace gesture.

Yatol glanced quietly at me. “Enhyla? He is
the Lord Master. And Tyhlaur is my brother.”

After a while I wandered back to my spot.
Hours dragged by as I struggled to fall asleep. As exhausted as the
day’s walk had made me, I lay awake under the mottled fern, eyes
riveted open. Every nerve felt raw, like waking from a nightmare
and expecting it to have been real. Once I started the slow drift
into sleep, then woke up with a gasp or a sob, I don’t know which.
I couldn’t see Akhmar anywhere, and in the subtle heavenshine I
curled up and longed for his return. Even seeing Yatol’s barest
silhouette by the pool didn’t comfort me. I closed my eyes, and
tried to drive away the terror.

I woke with another jolt, like someone had
shouted my name. Then I couldn’t do anything to convince myself to
lie back down and sleep. My heart raced wildly, and my hands
clutched tufts of moss. I untangled my fingers from the crushed
plants, the bandages slimy from the green juice. No wind stirred
and my face was slick with perspiration, but I felt utterly cold –
that deep, penetrating cold of sheer terror.

“
Yatol!” I
whispered.

I scrambled to my knees, peering through the
night, but I couldn’t see him. I got cautiously to my feet and
groped my way toward the crystalline pool. Yatol wasn’t there.
Again I gave a whispering shout of his name. Finally I glimpsed him
crouched on a hillock at the edge of the tiny oasis, staring out
into the darkness. I ran to him.

“
You should be sleeping,”
he said dryly. Was he still angry with me? “We have a long way to
go tomorrow, and Akhmar won’t be there to carry us the entire
way.”

“
Why not?” Without waiting
for an answer I rushed on, “There’s something there.”

“
Where?”

I jerked my head back toward the
elephant-ear plant. “Back there. It’s been keeping me up all
night.”

“
Your mind is restless.
It’s been a long day. Try to get some sleep.”

“
No! Yatol, it’s there.
Something.”

I gave a shuddering sigh and refused to
budge.

“
Come on.”

He stood and took me by the hand, leading me
back to the plant. If I hadn’t been so terrified I might have felt
giddy that he was holding my hand. But it wasn’t that kind of
gesture. He scanned the area intently for a few moments, then
turned to me with a smile that reminded me all too much of Tony –
not quite condescending, but reassuring in an aloof sort of way.
That look hurt more than his disbelief.

“
You see? There’s nothing
here. Go back to sleep.”

I sank onto the ground as he turned away.
For a split second everything blanked, and the world froze. My
stomach plunged.

“
Yatol!
”

I felt the scream more than heard it, and I
collapsed in a trembling heap with my arms wrapped around my head.
The earth heaved with a chaos of noise, carrying on and on until I
was sure the world was falling apart. Then all was dark, and still.
I lay frozen, unable and unwilling to move. A soft footfall stirred
in the sudden silence, and a warm light washed over me.

“
Child, rise.”

I stood, motionless, though I wanted more
than anything to run to Akhmar and cling to him. But everything
languished in peaceful quiet, as though nothing had happened.

“
Akhmar, was I
dreaming?”

He bent to look me in the eyes, and the
terror receded from my heart. I thought he told me, “Have courage,”
but I heard nothing, and I knew he hadn’t said it aloud.

“
Where is
Yatol?”

“
He rests.”

“
What do you mean, rests?
Did he…did he just go back to sleep?”

“
To banish an Ungulion
alone demands nearly the full strength of a man. Most could not
survive so perilous a feat.”

I swallowed, hard. “An Ungulion? There was
a… He banished…” I stopped babbling with a violent shudder. “What
happened?”

“
You know in your heart,
Merelin. You felt his presence. Do not fear – he is perished. Yatol
destroyed it.”

Akhmar’s gaze shifted, slightly, and it
seemed things were a little brighter in the direction he stared. I
could just glimpse Yatol’s form where he lay near the pool. He was
asleep, or unconscious, but when I approached him I found his face
etched with an anguish and a grief that seemed all too awake. I sat
down beside him feeling strangely troubled. My hand reached out to
touch his cheek, then faltered and fell into my lap.

“
Will he be all right,
Akhmar? He looks horrible.”

“
He will. But be forgiving
of him, when he wakes. I fear his heart is as troubled by his doubt
of you, as it is wearied by his feat.”

“
He can’t blame himself!” I
cried. “There’s no reason for that.”

Akhmar smiled. “Reason? Perhaps not.”

“
But men are not angels?” I
said, feeling that was the natural continuation of his
thought.

“
Men are not angels,”
Akhmar affirmed. “And so men have the chance to be noble, in a way
that angels cannot.”

“
I don’t feel particularly
noble,” I muttered. “I said something I shouldn’t have. Maybe if he
hadn’t been angry with me, he wouldn’t have doubted me. It’s my
fault.”

“
Nothing is beyond
mending,” he said. “Sleep now. I shall keep watch here till
morning, though it is not necessary. No Ungulion will think to risk
so open an approach again.”

Chapter 8 – The Lord Master

I don’t remember going back to my fern, but
hardly a moment seemed to have passed before I opened my eyes to
daylight. Yatol was already up, crouching by the azure pool. In the
raw morning his skin seemed almost grey, with deep purple circles
under his eyes. I wandered toward him, all the things I’d meant to
say fading away to a sudden awkward silence. I couldn’t even get
out a “good morning” as I knelt beside him.

Yatol wordlessly handed me a hollowed-out
gourd. I was glad I had seen him scoop out water to rinse his hands
and face away from the water’s edge, or I wouldn’t have known what
to do. I might have dunked my whole head in the pool without
thinking, and polluted all our drinking water. I peeled the
bandages from my fingers, grimacing at the sight of the missing
nails, and splashed my face and hands. As I dried them on my tunic
Yatol turned to me as though to speak. My words returned in a
rush.

“
Don’t ask my forgiveness,
Yatol! I’m the one who needs forgiving. I’m so sorry for what I
said. And you can’t have known about the Ungulion…”

“
I should have known that
you’d be able to sense their presence, Merelin. It doesn’t matter
if I could sense it myself. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” He
hesitated, and suddenly his eyes flashed and he snapped his gaze
away from my face. I heard him say, almost under his breath, “It
might have taken you.”

I swallowed, then murmured, “You saved my
life. Could I ask for more?”

“
Yes,” Yatol said sharply.
“I ought to be wiser than that.”

I shot him a quick glance, but he refused to
look at me. And suddenly, somehow, I thought I understood what he
needed me to say. I turned to him, clasping his hands.

“
Yatol. I forgive you.” I
hesitated. “But I want you to forgive me, too.”

He regarded me curiously before turning away
with head bowed, but as he did the corners of his mouth twitch
upwards. Then he nodded. A chill of relief and joy tingled down my
spine. He forgave me.
Nothing is beyond mending.

I hugged my knees, watching him curiously.
“How did you banish the Ungulion?”

“
I fought him.” He touched
the surface of the water, watching the ripples. “I can’t explain
it. It wasn’t a physical fight. You know that. It’s a battle on
every plane. Some contests I lost. I won enough to cast him from
this place.”

“
What do you mean, I know
that?”

“
It is indeed not a battle
that can be described in mere words,” said Akhmar, joining us.
“Merelin, you have already experienced it, to some degree. The
Ungulion who dragged you to the Gorhiem Bolstoed – you did not go
willingly. You vied with it strongly before it overwhelmed your
senses enough to bear you away. That was the only battle it won
against you. And you withstood their interrogation.”

I sat in astonished silence, staring at him.
I hadn’t even been aware that I’d fought any kind of battle, or, in
any sense of the word,
won
anything against the Ungulion.
Yatol stood, offering me a small smile.

“
Well, we can’t afford to
linger here all day. Akhmar, how far will you carry us?”

“
I will carry you to the
borders of the
Branhau
,” he said. “It is close enough, and
the land is mild. And by then Merelin’s feet may be relieved enough
to let her walk.”