Doppelganger Blood (4 page)

I expected to get summoned back to the castle so I’m surprised when the Royal Carriage arrives with Dagda, Tabitha, Raziel, Alita and Tana.  Is Tana coming with us?  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that idea.  Yes, she had my back in the Cowan realm, but this situation is different.  She will throw me under the bus to save Dagda.  Then again, Kallen would throw her under the bus to save me, so I guess we’re even.  Well, to be fair, Kallen would do everything in his power to save both of us.

When Kallen and I walk into the kitchen we find a new war going on.  “I know the
Dragons better than anyone in this room!” Garren booms. 

“Yes, you do.  Which means you know how much they
currently despise you.  Bringing you along would hurt us more than help us,” Dagda tells him.

I can’t help but feel good that so many people want to help me. 
I’m not sure bringing a large entourage is a good thing, though.  The Dragons are going to think I’m trying to intimidate them.  “Garren, I appreciate the offer, but staying here and helping Isla run the realm is probably a better idea,” I say.

Surprisingly, he acquiesces
right away.  He does know how much the Dragons hate him.  They would probably kill him on sight.  Head held high, Garren says, “My place is at the palace then.”  He walks out the door without a backward glance and slams it behind him.  Okay, he didn’t exactly acquiesce with grace.

“This trip is getting off to a great start,” I grumble taking a seat at the marble counter. 

Kallen steps behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.  Resting his chin on my head, he says, “This is not the type of trip that ever starts well.”  He’s right, unfortunately.

“Have you spoken with your parents?” Dagda asks.

“Yes, she has,” Dad growls from the doorway.  “We will go for her sake.  We don’t give a damn about saving you or the realm.”

He’s lying.  Dad loves this realm
where he and Mom can float around freely.  He also thinks it’s the best place for Zac and his magic.  “Thanks, Dad,” I say.  In hopes of avoiding a testosterone fueled avalanche of tempers, I add, “Maybe we should talk about our plan.”

Kegan, who has joined the party now, snorts.  “
You
want to plan?”  Alita slaps his arm for me.

Running a hand through his hair, Dagda says, “There is nothing to plan.  We make a united stand
in front of the Dragon High Court and hope we can convince them to see reason.”

A scowl takes up permanent residence on my face.  I hate to keep going back to this, but it’s pretty relevant.  “How are we going to do that when we don’t have a reasonable explanation?” 

Several mouths open to chastise me but with a flash, the entire kitchen disappears.  In fact,
everything
disappears.  Whirling around, I try to figure out where I am.  The fact that all I can see is white in every direction is not helpful in determining this.  My heart is racing and I start drawing magic.

Except, I don’t.  I’m not drawing even a tiny bit of magic no matter how hard I try.  It’s like the magic well has dried up.  Am I in hell?  I’ve seen and heard about a
few different hells recently.  The one this resembles?  The hell of the Angels.  Have I been sentenced to an eternity of nothingness because I’ve used my magic to commit murder?

“You have murdered no one,” a soft voice says behind me.  I recognize the voice even though I’ve only heard it
twice before.  “This version of you is incapable of such a deed.”

This version of me?  “How many versions of me are there?” I ask, turning to the
Seraph. 

I know from her expression I am not going to get an answer to my question.  At least, not a complete answer.  “
It is best not to concern yourself with such things.  It can be dangerous to your state of mind.”

Is she saying I’d go crazy if I think too hard about it?  Glad she has so much faith in my mental wellbeing.  “Are you talking about quantum physics and multiverses?  Because that’s a pretty common subject where I’m from.”  I probably shouldn’t be snarky with someone who could smite me
with a blink of the eye, but I feel the need to defend my intelligence.

Angels have beautiful smiles.  Gorgeous smiles.  The Seraph of Joy’s smile is beyond radiant
making the other Angels’ smiles huddle in a corner in shame.  “There is truth in your words, but contemplating the possibility of an entirely different you is difficult to digest.  In your current form, it is nearly impossible to imagine yourself as a brutal killer with no remorse or concern for consequences.”

I don’t know, it seems to be getting easier.  “You’re saying there is another me like that?”

Haniel nods.  “There is.”

“Please tell me it’s her committing murder.”

“In truth, you and she are the same.”

I frown.  “Did you call me here to make me feel worse?”

A soft sound passes between her lips like a musical laugh.  “No, I did not.  I came to ask for your help.”

A Seraph needs my help?  Is the universe about to come to an end or something?  Seraphs don’t need anyone’s help.  “You have?” I squeak.

Haniel nods slightly, her pleasant demeanor never flickering.  “Only you can do what must be done.”

“And if I fail?”  I should probably ask what I have to do first, but knowing this will determine how ferociously I apply myself to the task.  I already know I can’t refuse to do whatever she wants me to do.

“If you fail, the matrix of your universe will crumble.”

Is that all?  “Seriously?”

Radiant smile still in place, Haniel says, “I am of the Seraphim, we cannot lie.”

“What do you mean,
my
universe?”

Inclining her head, Haniel says, “As you said, the idea of multiverses is a relatively common subject in your realm as it is in many others.  Therefor it should come as no surprise this theory is valid.”

A light is turning on in the dark recesses of my brain.  “I am doing these horrible things, but it’s not really me.  It’s me from another universe.”  My head is starting to hurt.  Maybe Haniel was right about not thinking too hard about all this.

With a slight nod, the Seraph says, “You are correct.”

“How?” I ask in consternation.  “How could another me jump from her universe and exist in my universe?”

“For every choice in your universe, the same choice exists in another with a different outcome.  Not all Xandra’s were given a different destiny.”

Now she’s talking about me in the plural.  Yup, my head hurts.  Still, she didn’t answer my question.  “Meaning?”

“Meaning not all possess the same knowledge, nor have all been given the opportunity to mature with a deep seeded sense of right and wrong.”

“So, this other me grew up without love and morality and has what, come here to make me suffer because I did?”

With a slight shake of her head, Haniel says, “No, she has entered your universe to escape the consequences of her actions in her own.”

“If escape was her goal, why is she drawing so much attention to herself?”  It seems like hiding would be the best route.  Then again, can anyone truly hide from the Seraphim?  That in mind, I say, “Why can’t you call her to you and plop her back in her own universe?”  I don’t think the Seraphim fall under the same code in regards to free will.  My understanding is they can do pretty much whatever they please.

A hint of sadness rolls off the Seraph.  “I cannot undo what another Seraph has done.”

I’m pretty sure I was just hit with a blue whale and all sense of intelligence and understanding has been knocked from my brain causing me to hallucinate.  It’s the only explanation.  “What?” is the intellectual capacity of my vocabulary right now.

Haniel bows her head for a moment.  When she lifts
her eyes to me again, there are tears in them.  Anything that can make a Seraph cry falls under my ‘I really don’t want to know’ category.  Apparently, she doesn’t care.  “Your soul is strong.  Not only in your universe, but in every universe.  Your strength and charisma is not altered by the different paths you follow.” 

Charismatic?  Me?  She must have me confused with someone else.  “Are you saying my charisma helped me talk a Seraph into letting me jump universes?”  I really don’t see me as having that kind of clout
anywhere.

“This
other version of you did not dwell in the mortal realm.”

“So, Raziel didn’t change my destiny.  Why would that make me bad?”

Haniel’s smile is back but it’s dimmer.  “Guilt can be a powerful enemy.  Raziel was not able to overcome the guilt of forcing you to live omniscient.  Over the years, he became more and more reclusive.”

Leaving me to make my own friends, like Seraphim.  “So, I ditched him and went out on my own?”

“In a way.  You were overwhelmed from early childhood when the knowledge took hold and seeing you suffer so was too painful for him.  He was unable to guide you as his own suffering became debilitating.”

I can see Raziel succumbing to guilt
and becoming a hermit.  He’s not exactly an extravert as it is.  But what a crappy thing to do to me.  “Is this why you chose to make him see he made the right choice in my universe?”  My universe, like I’m Queen of it all.  Right.

“This was my primary motivation, yes.”  Nope, the Seraphim definitely do not fall under the same free will constraints like other Angels do. 

I am still missing a piece of this puzzle.  “If the other me lived among the Angels, why is she killing non-Angels in my universe?”

“She left the confines of the Angel life and journeyed out of Angel time.  The seed of addiction had always been within her, but as she discovered the power she had over lesser beings, she became obsessed.  Her primary goal was to increase her power. 
She did so by forcing all who stood before her to bow down and offer themselves to her rule or suffer the consequences.  Soon, her abuse of power and magic reached every realm.  Atrocities were committed and entire races victims of genocide when they tried to oppose her.  Unified by fear, the realms rose up against her and with a single voice, they demanded justice.  Never before has a universe seen such alliance.  The cries of so many could not be left unheard.  As the guardians of Divine Grace, the Seraphim were called upon to take action.”  That’s one way to unite the realms.  Not the one I've been going for, though.

I believe I have turned green from the inside out.  I did those things?  I committed genocide?  My head is swimming and for the first time, I feel like I’m going to pass out without magic being the culprit.  Is it too late to take Haniel’s advice and not think too much?  It is.  “How could you let it get so bad?” I say, accusation clear in my voice.

Not in the least offended, the Seraph says, “It is not our place to rid the universes of evil.  It is left to the beings who reside in them to determine how they will live.”

“So, only because
everyone
hated me, you were able to take a stand?”  Is there a universe out there where people love me?  I don’t dare ask.

“
Divine Grace is given only when every other course of action becomes impossible.”

Meaning s
ince I wasn’t just powerful, I also knew everything before it happened, I could pretty much destroy everyone and everything in my path.  Go me.  “How did this other me end up here?”

Tears fill Haniel’s eyes again. 
I wish she’d stop that.  She’s going to make me cry.  Mostly out of terror.  “As Seraphim, we are above the desires of lesser beings.  Our passion is reserved for our duties and only in performing them well are we rewarded with happiness.”  There’s a ‘but’ in there that’s going to shoot her words full of holes.  “This is how it has always been and always should be.”

“Should be?  Meaning
that’s not really how it is.”

Haniel’s eyes close in pain.  Having to admit one of her own was not above the passions of lesser beings is taking its toll on her.  “No, it is not.  Now, this other you is silencing the voices of those who spoke against her in her own universe.”

“Did I seduce the Seraph with power, knowledge or lust?” I can’t help but ask.

Opening her eyes again, she says, “With all.”

“And Divine Grace was used to transport me to a different universe.”  All this ‘me’ talk is starting to get confusing.

Nodding, Haniel says, “Once
Divine Grace has been given, it cannot be taken away.”

Horrified, I say, “So, you want me to hunt myself down and do what, kill me?”  Her lack of response burns a black hole in my heart.  She can’t be serious.  “How do you expect me to do that?”

“Every action needs a reaction for balance to exist.  When the time comes, I will bestow upon you the same amount of Divine Grace that was given to her.”

Divine Grace
is starting to sound like a euphemism for murder weapon.  At least in my case.  “I can’t do this.  I can’t kill myself.”  I can’t even imagine meeting another me.  “Even if I could, this other me knows
everything
.  How could I get anywhere near her?”