Don't Let Go: A Full Hearts Novella (3 page)

Alicia silently screamed into the air, jumping up and down for a moment before responding. Trying to sound casual, she lowered her voice.
“Sure, Ben. When were you thinking of going?”

“How about tomorrow night?”

“Sure. Pick me up around six?”

“Will do.”

The next afternoon found Alicia rushing around her bedroom, trying on clothes, tossing discarded choices on her bed and then digging through the pile, trying desperately to put together the perfect outfit. She finally settled on a black miniskirt with a light blue polo shirt. She combed her hair up into a high, tight ponytail and carefully applied some cherry lip gloss. Just as she started to second-guess the skirt, the doorbell rang. Heart pounding, she flew down the stairs, hoping to get to the door before her dad.

Grabbing her jean jacket off the hook, she shouted, “Bye!” to her parents and opened the door to see Ben standing in front of her in jeans and a white T-shirt, looking gorgeous.

He smiled and punched her on the arm lightly. “Hey, Leesh.”

Alicia skipped down the steps, keeping up with his long strides. “So, where are we going?”

“The Dive?”

“Yup.
I hope you brought lots of money because I’m starving.” She grinned as he opened the passenger door to his dad’s truck for her.

When they got to the restaurant, it was packed and there was a lineup at the door. Ben looked down at her. “Takeout?”

Alicia smiled. “Sure.”

Twenty minutes later, Ben was pulling the truck to a stop near Red Rock Canyon, just outside of town. He grabbed a horse blanket from behind the seat and then the bag of food. Alicia brought the drinks and followed him down a path that led through an opening in the tall, jagged red rock. They walked a little way before coming to a small lake. The sun was lowering in the sky and the warm air seemed to caress Alicia’s bare legs and arms as they settled themselves on the blanket near the lake. Ben stretched out, propping himself on one arm to pull the burgers and fries out of the bag. Alicia sat near him, legs folded to the side. There was nowhere on earth that she would rather be than here in this beautiful spot with him sitting next to her. It felt like home and, for Alicia, it was the only place she would ever want to be. A quiet fell over the pair as they ate, Alicia trying not to let the ketchup drip down her chin.

A nervous tension seemed to fill the space between then. They were alone in a very romantic place for the first time in both their young lives. Alicia was more than ready for her first kiss with this boy whom she had loved for so long now. Ben stared out at the lake as he munched on the fries, seeming unsure what to say.

“So, what are you going to do when school’s over?” Alicia asked finally.

“Oh, I’m gonna play baseball. I got drafted to the minors. I’m heading to Salem in a couple of days,” Ben replied quietly.

“Really?”
Alicia tried to push down her disappointment. “That’s so exciting for you! I can’t believe you never mentioned it before.”

“Aw, it would have sounded like bragging. Besides, it’s no big deal really. I went thirty-eighth
round in the draft. The chances that I’ll make the majors are lower than me winning the lottery.” Ben shrugged.

“But still, you’ve got a shot, right? You never know,” Alicia told him, gazing into his eyes and taking note of his long, dark eyelashes.

“Yeah, you never know. I mean, I pretty much do, but then, there is a tiny chance. Maybe every other catcher in the majors and minors will come down with the flu at the same time and I’ll get called up,” Ben said with a little wink.

He took a long drink of his soda before speaking again. “It’ll give me a chance to get out of here for a while, anyway. See a bit of the world, maybe.”

“Is that what you want to do, Ben? Get out of here?” she asked.

“Yeah, don’t you want to go somewhere new?” Ben responded gently.

Alicia shook her head. “No. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m an army brat. My dad got posted here to train new recruits. Until I was ten years old, we lived in a new place every year. I’ve seen a lot of the world and I’m just so happy to call this home.”

Ben nodded thoughtfully, digesting this information. “I didn’t know that about you,
Leesh. I mean, I knew your dad was in the military, but I didn’t know you moved so much before you came here. That must have been tough for a little kid.”

“It was. I was never in one place long enough to really make friends,” she said, taking a small bite of her burger before speaking again. “Do you remember my first day of school here in fifth grade?”

“No, I can’t say I do.” Ben tilted his head, as if trying to remember.

“Paul Jones shoved me in the mud and you beat him up.”

A slow smile crossed Ben’s face. “Now I remember. That little prick had it coming. You beat him in a race. You were the fastest girl in the class.”

“Hey, I was faster than all the boys.
Including you.” She laughed, punching him on the shoulder lightly.

“Nah, that’s not how I remember it.” Ben grinned.

“Yeah, but if you had a better memory, you wouldn’t need my help with history . . .” she teased. She spoke again before he had a chance to protest. “Anyway, 
I’ll
 always remember that day. Not because of what Paul did but because of what 
you
 did. I had gotten used to being the new kid and getting picked on, but not having anyone look out for me like that. When he started shoving me, I thought ‘Well, here we go again,’ but there you were and I didn’t know what to think except ‘I hope I get to stay here.’” Alicia looked down at her fingers, suddenly feeling shy about her admission. “Stupid, right?” she asked, daring to glance at him.

Their eyes held and Ben seemed to swallow hard. He shook his head and reached for her cheek with his hand. “No. Not stupid at all,” he answered quietly.

Gently guiding her face to his, he kissed her lips ever so carefully. Her hand on his chest, she could feel his heart pounding as his lips touched hers. Her lips parted, waiting for more. Alicia’s entire body tingled with the magic of her first kiss. It was as perfect and sweet as she had dreamed it would be. All those hours spent imagining this were finally becoming her incredible reality. They were alone in the most romantic spot, with the sun going down, the sound of the crickets filling the air as his lips brushed against hers, as his tongue slid into her mouth, searching for hers. It was one of those rare moments in life that she knew she would always remember. She was in love with this boy and as their mouths moved in unison, she silently prayed that this would be the start of their forever.

Alicia slid her body down to lie beside him on the plaid blanket, her mouth never leaving his. She held his jaw with her hand as he moved his body closer, hovering over her. Pulling back for a moment, Ben took advantage of Alicia’s hair being tied back, kissing and sucking on her neck hungrily. Alicia’s eyes flew open at the sensation of his mouth on her skin, not sure if the stars she was seeing were in the sky above or were a result of what was happening in her body right then. She had not known that it would feel like
this, that having one part of her touched would ripple through her entire being, as though his mouth was everywhere at once. Letting her hand slide down his chest and abs, she wanted to feel the heat of his skin on hers. Tugging at his shirt, she let her fingers move up along his taut muscles, allowing them to linger there.

Ben responded to her touch, groaning with the thought of her hand finding its way into his jeans. He slowly moved his hand from her cheek to her chest, taking in the feeling of her perky breasts through the fabric of her shirt. Weeks of being so close to her but never touching her had filled him with a lust he had never known before. He was consumed by the almost undeniable longing of that first love as he thrust his tongue wildly into her mouth. He heard her give a little moan and the sound made him harder than he already was, his jeans now confining him uncomfortably.

They stayed like this, exploring each other over their clothes until their cheeks were flushed with new passion and body heat. Ben pulled back, knowing he needed to stop. He knew the longer he lay with her like this, the more he was going to want. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, waiting for his breathing to slow down. Ben had been with other girls before but he had never wanted anyone this much. He could feel Alicia’s shift from passion to frustration.

“I know, right?” he said, nuzzling into her neck. He could feel her let out a long puff of air.

“Yeah. We should stop.”

“Yes, we should. I better take you home.” He lifted his body off hers and sat up. Taking her hands, he pulled her up to sit in front of him. Unable to help himself, he put his hand behind her head and pulled her mouth to his, starting things all over again.

Twenty minutes later, he pulled away and jumped to his feet. “Whoa, okay. Let’s get out of here before your dad has the entire army out looking for you.”

Alicia stood, straightening her skirt and her now-twisted shirt.

Ben smiled at her and brushed her hair back from her face with both hands. Her ponytail holder was now holding back only a few wisps of hair. His eyes took her in as though it were the first time he was really seeing her. She wasn’t just the cute girl he had grown up with—she was the one who could awaken his heart along with his body. Alicia reached up to pull out her hair elastic and smooth her hair back into submission. “I must be a mess.”

Ben shook his head a little, glancing over her lips, swollen from their kisses, before looking into her eyes.
“Nope. You’re just really beautiful.”

A warm smile spread across Alicia’s face as though his words were the most romantic thing she’d ever heard. Ben crouched down and balled up the blanket, tucking it under one arm and grabbing the garbage from their supper before standing and taking her hand in his. They strolled slowly through the darkness to the truck. When they reached it, he opened her door and tossed what he was holding into the back seat, then leaned in to her to kiss her again, knowing he wouldn’t get this opportunity once they reached her house. A tiny voice that he was ignoring was telling him to stop this before they both fell too hard for each other. He couldn’t stop himself though; he was powerless to resist her. Thoughts of baseball and leaving Colorado were nothing to him at that moment. The pair lingered there for a long, delicious moment before he pulled back, squeezing his eyes shut as she tried to block out the lust she had for him.

Ben held her hand the entire drive home. “What are you going to do after high school?”

“Well, as of September, you’ll find me at the University of Denver.”
 
If you want to find me. God, I hope you’ll want to find me.

“Really?
Good for you. What are you going to take?”

Alicia laughed, almost embarrassed. “I’m going to start out in environmental science, actually.”

“Really? That’s awesome! I always knew you were smart.”

“I don’t know. I did well enough to get in, but I don’t really know why I’m going. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I doubt it has anything to do with wearing a lab coat every day. My parents would just be so disappointed if I didn’t go to university, you know? I thought I’d better pick something that has practical applications in the end. They saved up for a long time to send me and I can’t see my dad happily paying for me to take
fingerpainting classes or something.”

“Is that what you want to do?
Arts?”

“No,” Alicia replied. “I don’t have the first clue what I want to take. That’s what makes it really scary for me. I don’t want to waste their money or the next four years of my life. I’m just hoping I’ll love it when I get there and everything will magically fall into place.” She groaned under the weight of the decision she had made.

“I’m sure you’ll do really well, even if it’s not for you. You’ll get the grades so you’ll be able to transfer to something else once you figure it out.” Ben’s voice was sincere, and the knowledge that he believed in her brought a new confidence to Alicia.

“I hope so.”

They pulled up in front of her house. Ben shut off the motor and killed the lights, then turned a little to face her. “So, can I see you again tomorrow?” he asked hopefully.

Alicia nodded and gave him a wide grin.
“Yeah. We should study. Math’s on Monday.”

Ben leaned over, kissing her neck. “I was thinking about studying something else if you don’t mind.”

A wave of desire coursed through Alicia’s body. She closed her eyes for a moment before answering, her voice breathless, “Let’s do both.”

* * *

The next three weeks flew by for the pair. They studied and talked for hours each evening, Ben making sure to take advantage of their time together by touching his beautiful girl, running his hand along her thigh and kissing her neck as she tried to talk about whichever subject they were working on. She was on his mind almost constantly, distracting him from his school work and his chores on the ranch. The thought of leaving to go to Salem had become something that part of him dreaded now that he had such a thrilling reason to stay home. But he had his dream waiting for him. Chances to take. Places to see. Baseball was in his bones and he needed to go wherever it took him. The night of their senior prom, Ben had to be out of town for a tournament, foreshadowing what was to come. Alicia went with some girlfriends but was miserable, not wanting to dance without him. She had called her dad to come pick her up early, telling him she had a bad headache.