Don't Explain (25 page)

He looked at her inquisitively, his eyes narrowed to study her face more
carefully. “Did you grow up around here?”

“Excuse me?” She crossed her arms under her chest.

“Did you grow up around here?” He repeated himself slowly and with
precision so that she could easily grasp what she was saying.

This only offended her more. “No.”

“Where did you grow up?”

She was irked and no longer willing to hide it, “I really don't see what
business of yours it is.”

“I think I know you. I think we may have gone to school together,” he
held out his hand. “Charles Rhys.”

Caitlyn took his hand, searching in the back of her mind for a Charles
Rhys in her past. It dawned on her. “You were in Mrs. Mendez's fourth grade
class.” Caitlyn had left town at the end of fifth grade and had forgotten all
about elementary school; it was not very important to her until this moment.
“Caitlyn Murphy, fellow graduate of the class.” Her mood immediately shifted,
and she smiled slightly at the prospect of meeting someone from so far in her
past. “You were one of the science kids. The ones that stayed in during recess
to work on science experiments.”

“Guilty.” He jokingly raised his hands in surrender.

“I still have my book of experiments for kids that you guys found too
basic for your taste. I thought they were pretty cool, you know. But you guys
wouldn't even look at it.”

“Why settle for bread when you can make chocolate cake?”

“Did you do anything with all the wisdom you gained from your
extracurricular activities?”

“I work in the physics department at Amherst. How about you?”

“You could say I am a chemist of sorts. I mix different chemical
compounds to create reactions that make people go 'yum.'“ He stared at her,
confused but amused, and after an appropriate anticipation-building silence,
she said, “I own a coffee shop in Maple Field. I mean, I used to own a coffee
shop.” It was the same practiced spiel that she always said when telling
someone about her business.

“What happened?” He folded his arms and leaned forward on the table.

“It burned to the ground three days ago. So, I am currently unemployed
and the center of an arson investigation. So I am taking a mini vacation and
staying with my mother.” She tried to say it as though it didn’t matter. It was
just another thing that happened to people and was easy to move on from, but it
wasn’t. She could feel the heaviness return to her chest. She sniffled back the
tears that were trying to break through.

“Wow. I’m really sorry.” He grabbed her hand that was resting on the
table. “Are you okay?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “Not really.” 

 “Worcester isn't much of a vacation from Maple Field,” he commented.

“It's all the vacation I can afford. I just needed to get out of the
small town I live in. It was getting hard to breathe with all the fresh air. I’m
sick of hearing people talk about my troubles behind my back because they
aren’t that sneaky about it. Most of the time they don’t know what the hell
they are talking about. This is less of a vacation and more of a break from my
life. I need my mind to stop racing before I can deal with anymore of that
small town drama.”

“I can only imagine going through what you are going through.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” She stopped and took a moment to collect
herself with a few breaths. If she hadn't, she might have spilled the whole
story of her life and broken down sobbing. She didn't want to do that, so she
pretended like she didn’t want to talk about it. “It’s a long, complicated
story that is not appropriate to tell a complete stranger.” Charles raised an
eyebrow at her.

“I think I know what might cheer you up.”

“I doubt that.”

“What do you say to dinner tonight? I don't have any plans for this
evening, and if you feel like spilling your guts, I’m open to hearing it.”

It had been a long time since Caitlyn had been asked out on a real date
by someone she hardly knew, and her knee-jerk reaction was to say no. “Like I
said you’re a stranger. It would be weird.”

“I don't have to be a stranger. Besides, I think dinner will acquaint us
nicely.”

Caitlyn stared at him for a moment, and he looked right into her eyes. “Alright,”
she said, grabbing a pen from her purse and a napkin from a dispenser on the
table. “This is my cell phone number. Call me, and we’ll set something up. No
guarantees that I’ll tell you anything worth hearing.”

“Fair enough. It's a date.” Charles stood up, grabbing the napkin and
shoving it in his pocket. He gave Caitlyn a crooked smile and dropped a bill on
his table as he headed out the door. Caitlyn sat in awe at the moments that had
just passed. It seemed strange that yet another man from her past approached
her and asked her to dinner. She felt as though she had managed to be unnoticed
by the opposite sex for many years and now she was attracting them like bees to
pollen. What was she doing differently?

Caitlyn looked down at her clothes and then at her warped reflection in
the back of a spoon. She was being more lax with her appearance. She certainly
wasn't trying harder to appeal to men. Whatever it was, it was apparently
working in her favor.

Wait. Who was she kidding? There was no way he was going to call her.

“Ma!” Caitlyn said as she closed the front door behind her. “Have you had
lunch yet?” She shuffled the shopping bags in her hands as she walked down the
hallway. After the chance meeting at the diner, Caitlyn realized that she
didn't have anything appropriate to wear for a dinner date. So, she changed her
plans and ended up going to Auburn Mall. Just in case she would need it.

She found a simple but elegant dark brown dress to wear that evening. It
hugged her curves gently, stopping at her knees and had a beautiful boat neck
that accented her neck and collar bone. She bought gold strappy heels to
complete the outfit.

She was swept away into a girliness with which she was not accustomed,
and she treated herself to a haircut and facial.

Her mood had changed significantly from when she was driving into town,
and occasionally she caught a glimpse of herself in the store windows smiling.
It almost felt wrong, but she didn’t care. The worst thing that could happen to
her right now was Charles wouldn’t call, and in the scheme of things, that
wasn’t a big deal.

She began to wonder why she ever thought it was good to lock herself up
in a small town filled with married couples and the elderly. She belonged out
there with a crowd more like her: youthful, single, and successful. Now there
wasn’t anything anchoring her to that town.

Alexis had tried to get her out, but she didn't want to be a part of the
loud bar scene any more. She didn't want the guys that Alexis tried to set her
up with. She wanted to sit down and have good conversations like she did this
morning. She did not want to put on a show in hopes of luring a guy into bed
with the hopes of trapping him into a relationship.

For a moment she contemplated selling her cottage and moving to Worcester
permanently, but rationality soon overtook her. She couldn’t move out of town
while she was under investigation. It wouldn’t look good. It probably didn’t
look good that she was staying with her mother and treating herself with new
clothes and a haircut three days after her business burned down.

She swore to herself. Maybe she should return the clothes and head home. She
realized that it didn’t matter. Either way it looked bad, and if she changed
her mind, it might look worse. From now she’d have to be more careful about
what she did and didn’t do.

Suddenly, Caitlyn felt like something was wrong. The house was strangely
quiet. “Ma! Where are you?” She slowly walked into the den, but the TV was off
and no one was in the room.

Was her car in the driveway? Caitlyn wondered. Her mother didn’t go out
on her own much because she hated to drive. Caitlyn walked back to the front
door and peered out. The Chevy was still there. So where was her mother?

Caitlyn walked around the house, looked out the windows into the
backyard, and stopped in every room on the first floor, but she didn’t find her
mother.

Oh well, she thought, she’s probably across the street, or out with a
neighbor.

Caitlyn decided to get settled in her room. The first thing she had to do
was wash the sheets. She was sure that they were unused as her mother didn’t
have many overnight guests, but Caitlyn couldn’t stand the thought of being
wrapped in the stench of cigarette smoke.

Cool air poured through the window after Caitlyn opened it and turned on
the ceiling fan. She pulled the sheets and comforter off the bed and then took
down the curtains as well. If nothing else, it was helping her mother, not
insulting her. Selling that to her was another story, but it was better than
the smell. Caitlyn would probably run out to the store and pick up some
Febreeze later and maybe a candle.

She carried the bundle to the door at the top of the basement stairs and
fumbled trying to get the door open. After getting the handle unlatched, she
kicked the door open with her foot and was surprised to see that the lights
were on. Caitlyn peered over the sheets and down the stair case.

“Oh my God!” Caitlyn dropped the laundry behind her and took the stairs
two at a time to the bottom where her mother was lying unconscious. “Mom! Mom,
are you okay?”

Caitlyn took in the scene. Her mother’s eyes were closed, and her skin
was pale. One of her legs bulged out at the side and a trickle of blood
streamed down her forehead and into her eye.

Caitlyn wanted to grab her, hold her in her arms, but she knew she
couldn’t. So, she pulled out her phone and dialed.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“I’m at 16 Green Street in Worcester. My mom is hurt very seriously. I
need an ambulance.” Caitlyn said, staring blankly at the lifeless figure. Caitlyn’s
hand became shaky, and she couldn’t feel any part of her body.

 “Do you know what happened, ma’am?”

 “She fell down the basement stairs. I don’t know how. I wasn’t here. I
just found her.”

“Okay. I’m sending an ambulance to the house now. Can you tell me how
your mother is? Is she awake and talking to you?”

“No, she’s not. I don’t even know if she’s alive. I don’t know how long
she’s been here.”

“Can you see if she’s breathing or can you take her pulse without moving
her body?”

Tears broke through. “I can’t see her breathing.” Caitlyn reached down
and placed two fingers on her mother’s neck. “I can’t feel anything. There’s
nothing there.” She sat down on the bottom stair. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Go to the front door. An ambulance should be there soon. You need to let
them in and show them where to find your mother.”

“Okay,” Caitlyn said, but she couldn’t find the strength to stand. She
took a deep breath and pulled herself up with the railing. Her feet felt like
lead as she ascended the stairs, and she kept looking back at her mother.

The 911 operator talked to her the whole way up the stairs, but Caitlyn
didn’t know what she was saying and couldn’t answer the questions she was
asking.

She couldn’t help but think that she could have prevented this, or at
least been there when it happened, so she could have done something sooner. If
she hadn’t stopped for breakfast or gone shopping, this might not have
happened. Her mother was always telling her that she needed extra help, but
Caitlyn thought she was just lonely. She never thought that…

She made it to the front door just as an ambulance pulled up to the curb.
Seeing the men in uniform gave her renewed hope, and she ran out to them.

“She’s in here!”

Caitlyn brought them to her mother, and a young man charged down the
steps. He ran his fingers along her neck.

“I have a pulse. Bring a backboard, so we can get her out of here
quickly.”

It didn’t take them long to get Caitlyn’s mother out of the basement and
into the back of the ambulance, but from the moment Caitlyn found her mother it
felt everything was moving in slow motion.

#

Caitlyn twisted and untwisted her hair around her index finger. The
waiting room was nearly empty, and the nurses at the station were laughing and
gossiping. There should be a rule, Caitlyn thought, that nurses and doctors aren’t
allowed to act happy when people who are sitting right in front of them are
waiting to find out if their loved one is going to live or die. Caitlyn glared
at the women in scrubs. When did common courtesy die? she thought.

She looked down at the magazine sitting in her lap. She didn’t really
care to take a quiz that told her whether or not she makes a good impression. She
was pretty sure she already knew the answer, and she’d rather not have that
reinforced by a $6 magazine targeted at people significantly younger than her.

Her mother had been back behind the double doors of the surgical unit for
three hours, and no one had told her anything. It wasn’t just frustrating; it
was nerve-wracking. The only solace she had was that her mother probably wasn’t
dead. They would certainly tell her that.