Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook (56 page)

Brat.  Typically a submissive who is
generally
well-behaved, but has made misbehavior, teasing, and limited kinds of defiance
or disobedience an
integral
part of her Dominant-submissive
dynamic.  Preferably, this occurs with the full awareness and approval of
her Dom.  When such is
not
the case, problems will invariably
arise. 
(See also: S.A.M./Sammy, Submissive, Topping from the bottom)

Breast Bondage. 
Breast bondage
involves
binding the breasts with rope, straps, tape, cloth, leather, chain, or any
other material to create a sensation of pressure or pain.  This is often
done as much for the aesthetics as it is the intense sensations produced, and
is considered by some to be an art form. 
(See also: Breast whipping,
Kinbaku, Restraints, Rope play, Shibari)

Breast Whipping. 
Breast whipping
usually refers to the practice of striking the breasts with a flogger, crop,
whip, or slapper.  This is often combined with other types of breast
torture, such as binding or nipple clamps.

Breath Play.  Often referred to as
choking
,
breath play generally consists of being sexually aroused either by choking your
partner or by being choked, either as foreplay or during sex.  It can
involve a wide range of activities ranging from simulated or actual choking
from hands around the neck, to
autoerotic asphyxiation.  (See also:
Asphyxiation, Autoerotic asphyxiation, Edge play)

Brown Showers. 
Also sometimes referred to
as scat play.
 A
brown shower
refers to any activity which
involves the act of defecating on another person, or having it done to
you.  It is sometimes combined with
enemas
to create a more fluid
experience.

Bruising. 
Bruising
generally refers to the
black and blue or purplish marks on the skin as the consequence of tiny
capillaries in the skin being damaged or broken as the result of either impact
play such as
spanking, caning, slapping, flogging, whipping or paddling
,
or aggressive handling during bondage, choking, or rough sex.  
Bruises are quite often worn as a badge of honor by masochists and bottoms.

Caging.  The practice of using a cage, crate,
pen, or barred cell to restrain a person for sexual, psychological or aesthetic
reasons.  Caging can be used for just about any reason, to include
punishment, reward, foreplay, humiliation, or even to produce a sense of
security for the submissive being caged.  Some submissives enjoy sleeping
in cages, or staying in cages when their Dominants are away.  Others use
the cage as a refuge, or as a place to be sent when they feel that they have
done something wrong, and must do pennance.  Caging is also a favorite
activity of many people in the D/s lifestyle who are into pet play. 
(See
also: Abduction play, Cow/Pig Submissive, Pet Play, Prison Fantasy.)

Caning. 
Caning
is a form of corporal
punishment that typically consists of striking the buttocks with a thin, rattan
cane.  It is often erroneously assumed by those outside the BDSM culture
that caning refers to the use of a heavy, stiff implement that resembles a
walking
cane
, but such is
not
the case.  The
cane
used in
BDSM
canings is a lightweight switch that is generally used to deliver strikes to
the buttocks, but sometimes to other parts of the body, hands, or feet. 
Strikes are referred to as
cuts
or
strokes
, and can sometimes be
severe enough to break the skin. 
(See also: Cropping, Flogging, Impact
play, Whipping)

Castration Play.  Though it may seem somewhat
oxymoronic for most to see the words
castration
and
play
used in
the same phrase, the role play aspects of this activity have a great deal of
appeal to those who enjoy the use of
fear, anxiety, medical play,
and/or
knife play
as part of their BDSM activities.   Typically,
castration
play
consists of causing another person to fear being castrated
(having
one’s testicles surgically removed). 
Far less common is the sort of
castration play that involves a participant who actually has a
castration
fantasy
, i.e. is aroused by the thought of being castrated. 
(See
also: CBT, Medical play, Torture)

Catheterization. 
Catheterization
typically
refers to the insertion of a thin, highly flexible, surgical grade plastic tube
into a person’s urethra.  This is usually done by medical professionals to
drain urine from the bladder when a patient cannot use toilet facilities. 
In a BDSM context, catheterization may be done for a wide variety of
reasons.  The simplest might be that a person has developed a catheter
fetish and simply derives pleasure from it.  Other reasons for
catheterization my include
humiliation, torture, prolonged bondage, caging,
bathroom restrictions, or medical play
. 
(See also: Bathroom
Restrictions, Bondage, Caging, Humiliation, Medical Play, Torture.)

Cattle Prod.  An electrical device typically
used by cattle ranchers to deliver a high-voltage, low-current electrical shock
to cows to get them to move in the direction desired. When used on human
beings, cattle prods produce significant pain and sometimes the loss of muscle
control, and may cause burning or scarring if continuously applied to the same
area.  With the advent and growing popularity of
tasers and stun guns
,
cattle prods have become less common in the BDSM community. 
(See also:
Electricity play, Torture)

CBT.  Cock and Ball Torture.  This usually
involves binding, caging, and/or applying pressure or other forces on the penis
and testicles as to cause pain, restrict erection, or create the expectation of
such. 
(See also: Ball busting, Ball stretching, Parachute, Torture)

Chamber Pot.  This generally refers to a bowl,
pot, pail or other receptacle used as a makeshift toilet.  Traditionally,
chamber pots were used by people who either did not have indoor plumbing, or
could not conveniently get to a toilet in the middle of the night. 
Victorian era chamber pots often had a lid, and were kept under the bed. 
In a BDSM context, chamber pots are used in a wide variety of activities. 
(See also:
Bathroom Restrictions, Brown Showers, Caging, Closeting, Golden
showers, Humiliation, Scat Play.)

Chastity Belt.  This refers to a device worn,
and usually locked, around the pelvis and crotch of the wearer to prevent
sexual intercourse and, sometimes, masturbation.  It is generally believed
that chastity belts were used during the Middle Ages, to ensure the chastity of
wives left behind by crusaders to the Holy Land.  However, there is little
evidence to support this notion, as the earliest known chastity belts appeared
much later, during the Renaissance.  In a BDSM context, chastity belts are
used on both males and females, and can be designed to prevent intercourse,
masturbation, and in some cases for males, erections. 
(See also:
Bondage, Restraints, CBT, Humiliation, Orgasm Denial.)
 

Chauffeuring. 
Chauffeuring
refers to
the duties of a
service submissive
that consist primarily of driving,
delivering, picking up and running errands for a Dominant and possibly for
other members of his or her household.  Chauffeuring may or may not
involve sex, wearing a uniform, and/or performing these duties in
public.  
(See also: Domestic, Service Submissive.)

Choking. 
(See Breath Play.)

Closeting.  Typically refers to the practice of
punishing a misbehaving submissive by locking him or her in a closet or similar
enclosed space. 
(See also: Caging.)

Clothespins. 
Clothespins
have become a
bit of an anachronism for many people who have never had to hang their
just-washed laundry out to dry on a clothes line, but they
do still exist
. 
In the BDSM lifestyle, they are often used to apply pain and pressure to sensitive
body parts, such as the lips, tongue, nipples, labia, penis, or scrotum.

Cock Worship.  Cock worship describes any
sexual or pseudo-sexual activity where the primary focus involves demonstrated
love, adoration and reverence of a man’s penis. The practice often involves
kneeling, prostration, or assuming other submissive poses to emphasize the
Dominant-submissive dynamic.  While there is sometimes an element of
humiliation or even discipline (i.e. spanking, caning, or bondage) involved, it
is far more common for the Dominant to assume a somewhat aloof role while the
submissive “worships at the altar.” 
(See also: Body worship)

Collar.  Collars are viewed by those in the D/s
lifestyle in much the same way that
rings
are considered by those
outside of the lifestyle.  Just as a ring can symbolize anything from
friendship to marriage, or have no symbolism whatsoever, so too can a
collar.  A collar can be comprised of just about anything, to include a
ribbon around the neck, an actual pet collar, custom designed fetish-wear, or
even a traditional necklace that only you know the significance of.  A
collar is simply
what the people involved agree that it is,
nothing
more, nothing less.  When a Dominant no longer feels his submissive is
worthy of the collar, the submissive may be “released,” meaning the collar is
revoked.  Alternately, a submissive may ask to be released from her
collar, though generally speaking, this is a mere formality that is done out of
respect. 
(See also: Collar of consideration, Collar of protection, Day
collar, Play collar)

Collar of Consideration.  A
provisional
collar
that is offered by a Dominant to a submissive that he is considering as a
potential submissive who’ll presumably become eligible for a collar of greater
significance at the end of the probationary period.  It is typically used
to give some recognition to the process of getting to know each other by
formalizing a
tentative
commitment by a submissive to discontinue
shopping for a Dominant while being considered by this one, and by the Dominant
to treat her as his for the duration of the agreement.  The terms of this
tentative agreement should be negotiated
prior
to the collaring, and are
typically set to expire after a relatively short period of time.
(See also:
Collar)

Collar of Protection.  A collar of protection
is similar in many ways to a collar of consideration, and in fact, there are
often areas of overlapping functionality.  Most collars of consideration
are
also
collars of protection; however,
not all
collars of
protection are collars of consideration.  A Dominant will sometimes extend
his
protection
to a submissive out of friendship or charity, even though
neither person
has any intention whatsoever of establishing a more
serious relationship with the other as a consequence.  The
protection
offered to the submissive in these circumstances often includes advice and
guidance, approving play partners and events, and interviewing and/or approving
prospective Dominants who may wish to consider the submissive. 
(See also:
Collar)

Consent. 
Consent,
for BDSM purposes,
refers to the
informed agreement to engage in an activity
, scene or
relationship, assuming that all parties have a mutual understanding of what is
meant by the agreement.  Evidence or proof of a partner’s prior consent
may
be difficult to prove
after the fact
, which can be
problematic
considering
the fact that it is typically the critical factor when it comes to criminal
charges such as assault, sodomy, and rape.  Even so,
documenting
consent is a relatively rare thing in the BDSM lifestyle. 
(See also:
Consensual non-consent, R.A.C.K., and S.S.C.)
 

Consensual Non-consent. 
Consensual
non-consent
is the term for a somewhat controversial practice of ostensibly
giving up the right to say no
in advance
of an activity, scene,
or relationship.  The reason it is controversial is the simple fact that
such an agreement has no legal standing whatsoever in any court of law. 
(So-called
slave contracts
are similarly illegal and
unenforceable.)  This makes the practice of consensual non-consent not
only illegal, but dangerous for the Top, who could find himself -
perhaps
even years later
- unexpectedly faced with criminal charges.  Even
documentation
of the agreement is futile, since the agreement itself is technically
illegal.
 
Despite these risks, consensual non-consent is widely practiced and enjoyed by
many in the lifestyle. 
(See also: Consent, R.A.C.K., Slave contract,
S.S.C.)

Corset/Corsetting.  A
corset
is a
garment that reshapes the torso, making it appear more slender or shapely
through non-elastic materials, lacing and ribs, stays or
boning
.  A
corset differs from a girdle, which is typically elastic and contains no lacing
or ribs.  Corsets may be worn by Dominants to give them a more commanding
appearance, or by submissives for aesthetic, restrictive, or body-modification
purposes.  

Crops. 
Crops,
which are sometimes
referred to as riding crops or horse whips, typically consist of a long,
slender and flexible shaft which is thicker and reinforced at one end to form a
handle and has, at the other end, a tongue of leather, neoprene or cord called
the
keeper. 
The traditional shape of the keeper can be a square,
rectangle, circle, half-circle, fiddle, or half-fiddle.  Keepers can also
come in a variety of novelty shapes, as well.  The flexible shaft adds
leverage and speed to the strike, while the keeper is designed to come into
contact with the target. 
(See also: Caning, Floggers, Impact play,
Whips)