Divided (16 page)

I lie on the grass next to Papa’s grave, now filled with dirt. A headstone was chosen by the children, who all looked up to Papa with respect and love. They all signed the back of it, and Joseph carefully engraved “Here lies Noah. A papa to all.”

     Flipping through his songbook by the light of a small fire, a small piece of paper drops out onto me. I place the book on the grass next to me and gently unfold it. I’m trying to hold onto everything that remains of Papa. Everything of his is special. My hands shake slightly as I realise it’s a letter, and my heart skips a beat as I realise that it’s for me. The letter has blotchy tear stains over it, but I make out the words he’s written, my heart beating faster with every word.

Dear Arys,

If you are reading this, then it is with deepest regret that I say that my time has arrived and I have passed away.

I want to tell you that I love you. Not the type of love that I invented to keep you safe, but actual love. The love that we had in the Old World. I could never tell you before because I had to keep you from love, that’s the only way your connection can be used to help everyone. That is why our Tribe doesn’t love.

I remember when I first saw you, Arys. You were such a tiny baby, and so light. Your father enhanced your brain only a week after you were born. After seeing you for the first time, I wish he hadn’t, because who could possibly change something so precious. So innocent. Sometimes it can go wrong, and young children can die, let alone what could happen if it was done to a baby, but you and your sister survived.

I remember the very first word you said, not even two days after I took you into my care. You quietly mumbled ‘Kayra’ in your sleep and it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. It gave me the tiniest glint of hope and I couldn’t help but hold you in my arms and promise to lay down my life to protect you.

You and Kayra are the heroes that will save us all. You are a woman now, Arys. You are no longer the little girl who needs my protection and I’m so proud of you. Sadly, I can’t protect you from this forever. I wish I could, but there is no other way. You have some instructions that I am leaving you. I have taught and prepared you as much as I can for this, but now it’s up to you. You will find them on the reverse side of this. I hope they will help you find the answers to the questions you’ve been asking all these years.

Arys, this may be the last time I can tell you, but I love you. You gave me hope when I found it hard to hope, and gave me a family when I thought I wouldn’t have one again.

I love you, and will always love you. Always remember that.

With all of my love,

Papa.

My tears join the blotches on the page. I hastily brush them out of my eyes and turn the page over. There are four instructions. I read over them as carefully as I can.

1. Leave the Tribe. Go without saying goodbye.

2. Keep travelling north until you reach a bridge.

3. Trust me. Always trust me, and don’t put up a fight.

4. Await my next instructions.

These don’t make any sense to me. I don’t want to leave again. Not now, not on my own... not after all of this. I reread the third instruction over and over again. Trust Papa. Well he’s never been wrong before.

34

Kai

I’m sat in silence with Zach, Iris, Zeke, Nina and Kayra in front of a fire. No one has spoken at all since the funeral. Once it ended, almost everyone went off to privately mourn Papa and their personal losses with their families, or in the case of the more unfortunate, on their own. Yesterday, I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but this night is worse than last night, now the dead have been counted and their bodies let go of.

     ‘Hey, listen,’ Zach says from across the fire, breaking the silence for the first time. ‘I’m sorry for what I said earlier about leaving. I don’t know anything here, everything is new to me and I didn’t mean to offend or hurt you at all.’

     I barely look at him, and keep staring into the flames.

     ‘I’m fine,’ I say coldly.

     ‘Really? The way you walked off, it’s just-’

     I look at him again, noticing how his hair is already messy again, and he has blood all over his jacket.

     ‘What happened?’ I ask, motioning to his jacket.

     He looks down at his jacket and throws back his head in laughter, causing everyone to look at him.

     ‘Well apparently bears don’t like it when you approach their kids with pointy objects,’ he says.

     I just raise my eyebrows and look around to see if anyone else understands what he’s talking about.

     ‘It’s nothing! Anyway what was it about earlier? Why did you leave?’

     I don’t want to talk about it, especially not to Zach, but everyone is looking expectantly. Everyone except Zeke, who is the only one who knows.

     ‘I survived on my own for a while,’ I say slowly, unsure how much I’ll tell them. ‘I was scared of what could be around the corner, not sure how I’ll survive each day. I lost all of my tribe until I found two twin babies. Their tribe was burnt so I took them and looked after them as if they were brothers. Surviving got harder, I had to learn to fight and hunt not only for myself, but for two two-year-olds. I was only eight myself.’

     ‘What happened to the kids?’ Kayra asks carefully.

     I pause for a second, looking from Zach to Kayra.

     ‘They found their own tribe and I found this one,’ I say, standing up and leaving them at the fire, not making eye contact with anyone.

     ‘The Festival is in a week, and we’re still going,’ I tell Arys. ‘People from the Tribe and the people who came from the Compound can merge into new tribes.’

     Arys looks up at me. She’s been distant since the funeral.

     ‘Yes, we’re not much of a tribe anymore. We have nothing,’ she says sadly.

     I pull her into a hug and kiss her forehead.

     ‘Everything will get better at the Festival, you’ll see,’ I tell her.

     She nods, though I know she doesn’t believe me.

35

Arys

I hold Kai’s hand in mine. The moon shines brightly through the leaves of the tree we’re sitting under. I lightly squeeze his hands, feeling the powerful muscles. How many lives have these hands taken?

     ‘Kai?’ I ask tentatively.

     He looks down at me and even in the darkness, I can see his tired features on his face, the exhaustion of the past couple of weeks showing vividly.

     ‘Yeah?’ he whispers.

     ‘What’s your number?’

     His entire body freezes, and even his heartbeat seems to stop for a second. He lets go of my hand and clenches his fist, pulling away from me.

     ‘Arys, I-’

     ‘No, Kai! I won’t look at you like you’re a murderer. I have to know.’

     I look him in his eyes; as if by doing this I will see the number in them. He doesn’t understand! I have to know this before I leave. He softly touches my face and smiles stiffly.

     ‘Arys,’ he says calmly. ‘No.’

     ‘I need to know, Kai!’ I say determinedly. ‘How many?’

     ‘Fine,’ he says coldly. His expression stays the same as he looks right at me. ‘One hundred and seventy four.’

     My throat tightens and I pull back slightly from him. I didn’t think it would have been that many. I’ve only ever seen him kill a few before, and even most of those times, I looked away.

     ‘One hundred and seventy four,’ he repeats. His face is emotionless and impossible to read. ‘I have killed one hundred and seventy four people. They may be Hunters, but they’re still human!’

     We both stand up cautiously, watching each other.

     ‘I told you,’ he says, already looking like he regrets telling me. ‘I didn’t want to.’

     He moves towards me, but I slowly back away from him. I want to run away and hide from him. I don’t think I can look at him in the same way again; he’s only seventeen! No seventeen year old should have killed that many people, it isn’t possible! He’s right... they are Hunters, but they also have feelings and maybe even families and despite them being the cause of the Tribe’s destruction and Papa’s death, even little innocent Cara’s death, Kai is the reason some of them won’t go back to their families. For a fleeting moment, I partially wish he’d have died instead of Papa. He sees the fear in my eyes and moves closer to me again.

     ‘No, don’t!’ I say, my voice coming out more shakily than I expected.

     I don’t want him near me; I just want to get away. He’s taken one hundred and seventy four lives. I imagine each one lying in a line that seems to go on forever. All the people Kai killed with his own hands. I breathe heavily and back away even further, stumbling slightly on a tree root. Kai looks hurt, ashamed even, but I can’t look at him without seeing him killing people. I see in my mind Kai murdering Hunter after Hunter, each one falling into a bloody pile, their faces contorted in pain.

     ‘Arys,’ he pleads. ‘Please?’

     He reaches for my hand, but I pull away instantly as if his hand is toxic. Suddenly, Kayra and Zach come running to us, Zach pointing his gun in our direction, ready to shoot.

     ‘Arys!’ Kayra shouts, looking around at the scene, confused. ‘I felt your emotions and you were scared, we thought...’

     Kayra looks from me to Kai, her face a mixture of confusion of embarrassment for interrupting what could have been a personal moment. I catch Kai’s eye, and he’s relieved for the distraction, but he’s still hurt and I no longer know how I feel for him.

     ‘I’m sorry,’ Kayra says. ‘Our connection has been mixed up since... well...’

     ‘I’m fine,’ I say quickly.

     I turn and walk quickly through the trees, trying to put as much distance as I can between everyone. Once in the safety of the trees and hidden from sight, I run. I dig up the backpack that I concealed under branches and moss before the funeral, filled with supplies to last at least two weeks on my own, and Papa’s books. I search the area carefully, feeling for the sword and feel the cold steel against my fingers. I dig it up along with its sheath and attach it to my belt. Taking one last glance back to make sure I’m not being followed, I set off north, where Papa told me to go, his letter clutched tightly in my hand.

Part Four:

Divided

36

Kayra

Kai sits at the opposite end of the fire, looking tense and exhausted. He’s sat in silence, staring blankly at the fire. I think I walked in at the wrong time. I tried several times to contact Arys, but I felt no connection with her at all once she left.

     ‘What do you think they were talking about?’ Zach whispers, smirking. ‘Maybe she’s pregnant!’

     I glance quickly at Kai, but it appears he didn’t hear him. I roll my eyes at Zach, before looking away.

     ‘I have no idea what they were talking about, but it’s their business,’ I say to Zach. ‘Maybe you should go ask him if you’re so interested.’

     ‘Maybe I will! Pass me my gun, just in case he tries to skin me alive though,’ he laughs.

      I ignore him and sit back, trying to clear my own mind of emotion, before trying to contact her again.

     ‘
Arys?
’ I try.

     ‘
I’m sorry, Kayra,’
I hear in my head. ‘
Tell Kai that I love him
.’

     I sit up suddenly, getting looks from both Zach and Kai. Zach tries to get my attention, but I ignore him.

     ‘
What’s going on, Arys? Don’t tell me you’re doing anything reckless!
’

     ‘
I have to do what Papa wanted me to do. Don’t try to follow me, I’m safe. I promise.
’

     I don’t believe her.

     ‘
Arys!
’ I call out to her, but I feel our connection falter, before cutting off entirely.

     I glower at Kai. He stands up, startled and I push him back into a tree with such force that it surprises even me.

     ‘Thanks to you, Arys has run off! I think she’s trying to avenge everyone who died!’ I shout at him, while he stands there looking horrified.

     Zach stands up and tugs me back, but I shrug him off. He continues to pull at my shoulder.

     ‘What?!’ I demand, rounding on him.

     ‘If she’s heading to the city where the remaining Hunters from yesterday fled to, then she’s going to need all the backup she can get. If we can’t convince her to come back with us, then we’re going to have to follow her!’

     ‘How do you know she’s going to the city? She could be going anywhere!’ I retort.

     ‘
Kayra, I can feel your emotions. Don’t even try following me. Go to the Festival!
’

     ‘Shut up!’ I scream at Zach, who had started to reply. ‘She’s talking!’

     ‘
Where are you going, Arys?!’

     I feel the connection go again, and kick the tree in frustration.

     ‘She’s gone again!’ I scream at no one in particular.

     ‘We’re following her!’ Kai says, picking up his knife, which is stuck in the ground. ‘Grab anything you need quickly, we’re leaving now.’

     ‘She told me not to go and that we should go to the Festival,’ I say, grabbing Kai’s arm.

     He turns around glaring at me.

     ‘You’re her
sister
!’ he shouts at me, causing Zach to jump back in shock. ‘You’re meant to protect her!’

     ‘I never said we’re not going after her,’ I say defensively. ‘I’m just making sure you know that she won’t like our company.’

     I push past him into camp. Nina is sat with some of the kids, teaching them how to sharpen sticks with a knife. Kids learn early here, like they do at the Compound. We aren’t as different as I first thought. I ask Nina urgently for a word.

     ‘Do what I taught you, Lydia, I’ll be right back,’ she says, smiling.

     ‘Arys has run off,’ I say in a whisper once out of earshot of the kids. ‘We have to go find her, are you coming?’

     ‘Of course,’ Nina says quietly.

     We grab our bags and run to rejoin Zach and Kai.

     ‘She’s headed north,’ I tell the group. ‘It was the direction she left in and I still feel the pull there... it’s hard to explain.’ I add, noticing the confused look Kai is giving me.

     Kai nods and we all start running in the direction Arys left.

We run for hours, past trees and over puddles. It’s been raining, so it’s slippery, but I retain my balance. I feel like a dog following a scent, though as if it’s a very subtle scent. The sky is lightening when I speak for the first time since leaving.

     ‘We’re straying too far east,’ I tell them all.

     We slow down as I try and call out to Arys again, but there’s nothing there. Maybe it’s hard for dogs too, but at least it comes naturally to them. I wonder if it will ever become natural for me to locate Arys. In the dim morning light, through the thin mist, I see the light of a campfire in the distance. Kai starts running straight towards it. He holds his hand up to stop us and mouths the word “Hunters”, while pulling out his knife.

     ‘Leave them for me,’ he whispers when we catch up to him.

     He charges at them, while the rest of us stop behind trees, out of sight. I steal a glance around the tree. Kai has his hand over a Hunter’s mouth and his knife to her throat.

37

Kai

I stab the Hunter I’m holding in the heart, feeling her heartbeat stop. One hundred and seventy five. I lay the Hunter on the ground and try and convince myself that this is the right thing to do. She would have killed more tribes... burnt more children. I have saved them. One death to potentially save many. I look at the small campsite. A roaring fire is in the middle of the Hunters, with three rabbits slowly cooking over it, being turned slowly on a spit. A single large tent stands behind the Hunters. There are still five left, sat cooking breakfast emotionlessly. Suddenly one hundred and eighty seems like a much bigger number than one hundred and seventy five. I stare at their faces, unsure if I can do it.

Fifteen Years Ago

    
‘Are you sure they’ll be alright?’

     I’m sat at the top of the stairs, hidden from view. I can see my parents in the room downstairs, they’re arguing again.

     ‘Of course! They’re survivors like us. We’re leaving; we’ve been over this countless times. The Compound won’t take children over one year old, and now they’re taking people in their twenties. We have to go!’

     My father’s voice sounds angry. I don’t like it when he’s angry. He zips his large suitcase closed and I watch as he paces the room.

     ‘There is no way to help them then,’ my mother says resignedly.

     She smiles for a fraction of a second, her smile thin and forced, before nodding to my father and zipping up her own suitcase. They turn and leave through the open front door, my father catching my eye and smiling slightly as he closes the door with a soft thud.

And there he stands right in front of me. Battered and bruised, with a long nasty cut above his brow, but his eyes are the same, such a dark shade of brown that they’re almost black, and now tinted with evil. His hair is already greying in places now, but I recognise every feature of his face. So that’s where they went. My parents abandoned me to become Hunters. Suddenly, he sees me, his expression the same as the last time our eyes made contact. My hand grips the knife in my hand tightly. Could I really do it? Could I kill my own father? All the Hunters stand swiftly in unison, and I jump out from behind the tree. Would he even recognise me now? Does he know that he’s approaching his son? My question is answered as he throws the knife he’s holding at me. Slight disorientated after the flashback, I only just dodge the knife as it spins past my neck, hitting what I hope is a tree behind me with a soft thud. I don’t stop to look what it hit, and charge forwards with my knife held tightly in my hand. He snarls at me and runs to meet me, pushing me with great force to the ground.

     ‘Remember me?!’ I hiss at him, throwing him off me.

     There are gunshots behind me as Zach joins the battle, shooting at the Hunters from his safer location behind a tree. My dad scrambles up, his eyes rapidly studying my face while his body lunges forwards at me, grappling me in a struggle for my knife.

     ‘Maybe you’re old now, but a son never forgets his father,’ I spit at him, throwing him off me and hitting the side of his head with the handle of my knife; I can’t kill him yet.

     ‘Kai!’ Kayra screams behind me.

     I turn just as one of the largest Hunters I’ve ever seen aims a blow to my head with a large branch, the gigantic muscles effortlessly supporting the weight of it. I duck and the branch hits my father’s chest, throwing him to the ground. Confusion briefly registers on the Hunter’s face, before a final gunshot sounds and the Hunter crashes to the ground at my feet. I stride over to my father, who is lying face down on the ground and kick him over with my foot. He’s too weak to get up, and lies there pitifully, his eyes filled with hatred for me.

     ‘You pathetic coward,’ I yell at him on the ground. ‘You abandoned me when I needed you!
You left me to die!
’

     He stands up slowly, making no move to attack me. For a fraction of a second, I think he’s finally recognised me, but he suddenly punches me in my face. Tears momentarily blind me as I keel over in pain, his other hand pulling me back up for a second blow. Instinctively, I swing my knife and dig into his shoulder. Blood sprays my face and he drops me instantly, yelling in pain and dropping to the floor.

     ‘For years I believed that you died before coming back for me!’ I scream at him, before spitting blood out of my mouth. ‘I believed that you actually cared for me! But you and mum never cared! You didn’t care that I heard! You planned it all!’

     I take my hoodie off. It was one of his old hoodies that I kept for comfort and in memory of him all these years. I throw it onto him, disgusted with him and now I know that I can take his life. I raise my knife and suddenly it’s as if his eyes open. His face slackens and turns into a look of mingled shock and depression as he shields his face with his hands.

     ‘Kai?!’ he cries weakly.

     ‘Don’t pretend you ever cared!’ I roar, plunging my knife into his chest.

     His eyes meet mine for a split second, before his body goes limp and his eyes roll back. I drop the knife and fall to my knees next to his lifeless body. The dark blood pours thickly from the wound in his chest. Kayra, Zach and Nina quietly make their way into the tent, avoiding me as I stare at the face of my father. Several long minutes pass as what I’ve done hits me with various stages of guilt. When I can’t take being near him anymore, I follow them into the tent. Six grey sleeping bags are rolled up tightly in a pile and several bags litter the floor. Nina is searching them when I duck through the entrance, the flap brushing against my face lightly.