Divided (15 page)

31

Kayra

It feels like Alaoden is my baby and that Zeke and I are married, although not attached emotionally to each other. I feel nothing special towards Zeke, but my commitment is to Alaoden. The river bends slightly to the right, and we follow a makeshift path, made by those who were letting go of their loved ones.

     ‘Do you think you’ll ever have kids?’ Zeke asks me casually. ‘Or can you even have kids while in the Compound?’

     ‘I’m not sure,’ I reply. ‘But I don’t think any of us are going back to the Compound.’

     I glance over at Arys and Kai, who are holding hands. Kai is helping her over fallen trees and loose rocks.

     ‘What about you?’ I ask him.

     ‘I don’t think I ever could. Not the whole settling down bit anyway. The Hunters will always be around, and I don’t want what happened to Alaoden to happen to any other child, let alone my own.’

     ‘How about-’ I quickly stop myself. I almost said something absurd, so I try to change the subject. ‘What if the Hunters are gone? Could you settle down then, find a home? Or would you always be moving from place to place?’

     ‘I’m not sure. I’d love to stop running, possibly have a family,’ he says. Then quickly, he looks at the ground and talks stiffly, his voice colder than it was. ‘We shouldn’t think like that. Not when half my Tribe are now dead! Who are we to talk about hope for a family, when almost everyone has just lost theirs?!’

     ‘I know I’ve lost no one, Zeke. But it’s just always nice to have hope,’ I tell him softly.

     ‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it personally,’ he says hastily. ‘It’s just that we can’t look to the future, not now. Not until we’re out of this place.’

     We continue to walk until we reach the top of a waterfall. The path is too muddy to get close to the edge, but from the view, it’s too far up that I doubt I could see the bottom of it. Zeke runs ahead a little, and balancing carefully on the edge, he glances over the edge. As I look around, it’s the first time I’ve witnessed something this beautiful. I can see miles of forest and in the distance, the greyish silhouette of small, destroyed towns.

     ‘Yes!’ Zeke calls, and stands as close to the edge as he can get. Kai follows him, taking his jacket off and squeezing his brother’s shoulders.

     ‘It’s perfect!’ Kai exclaims. ‘You coming, Zach?’

     Zach hesitantly climbs up to join them, and my curiosity getting the better of me, I follow him. The waterfall goes down so far that all I see of the bottom is a soft blue mist rolling steadily over the ground. Iris, Nina, and Arys join us and we all stand on the edge, watching the mist below us.

     ‘Who is brave enough to go first?’ Zeke says cheerfully, clapping Zach on the back. ‘I doubt you had this sort of training in the Compound!’

     ‘You’re right in thinking that,’ says Zach confidently

     He takes off his shoes and steps back, but Zeke throws out his arm to stop him.

     ‘Okay, your bravery has been shown,’ Zeke says. ‘But you’re
not
going down there before me!’

     Zeke takes one look over his shoulder and steps backwards off the waterfall. Nina gasps audibly and even Kai is taken by surprise. Zeke’s shout of joy echoes for a few seconds, before a sudden silence. I look over the edge, but the mist hides him from view.

     ‘What?! Did he make it?’ Nina splutters.

     Then from below, I hear another shout and I know that Zeke is safe.

     ‘Show off!’ Kai mutters gleefully, before following him off the edge.

     ‘Is this what you guys call a “break”?’ I laugh.

     ‘Whatever it is, I’m the last male specimen around, and I’m not backing down to them!’ Zach says triumphantly.

     He winks at Nina, before turning and throwing himself enthusiastically off the edge. We all watch as he descends speedily, before vanishing from sight.

     Arys, Nina, Iris and I stare over the edge for a few seconds, giving Zach enough time to get out of the way.

     ‘Together?’ Nina asks cautiously.

     ‘Of course!’ Iris says, taking her hand.

     We all join hands and look one last time over the edge. I don’t know if I should close my eyes or not, and I’m thinking of backing out, when Iris shouts “NOW!” and I instinctively jump off the edge with the rest of them, all of us screaming. Adrenaline rushes through my body as I fly through the air. I drop Nina’s hand as we near the water, and all I can hear is their screams and the loud thundering sound of the waterfall hitting the river below us. I tuck my legs in as my body hits the water, holding my breath as I’m submerged fully in the cool river. I swim up several feet and my head breaks the surface of the water at the same time as the other girls. We all laugh hysterically as we swim in unison to the bank, where the boys are now lying on the grass. The water soothes the burns all over my body and the events of yesterday are temporarily wiped from my mind as I laugh with the others. We all reach land and lay on the grass with the boys, all of us laughing still.

     ‘That was epic!’ Nina exclaims, beaming and running her fingers through her hair.

     ‘I wish every day could be like this,’ Iris says, sitting up and looking around at the group, smiling at us all.

     I do too, laughing and having fun together. It’s as if this is what life is supposed to be! Not surviving from Hunters, or being locked in a prison all of your life.

     ‘Why can’t it?’ Zach asks innocently. ‘The Tribe can think we’ve died and we can start our own tribe and be free to do what we want! No responsibilities or anything!’

     I’m not sure if it’s the adrenaline, or the aftermath of the spontaneous jump off a waterfall, but that idea is really appealing to me. The only thing that’s stopping me really is the thought of Alaoden having no one to truly care for him. Kai suddenly stands up and walks off. Everyone watches him, and Arys stands up, as if to follow him.

     ‘Don’t,’ Zeke advises her in a whisper. ‘Let him go for now.’

     ‘Why?!’ Arys asks urgently. ‘What’s wrong with him?’

     ‘He’ll tell you in his own time,’ he replies, giving Zach a disapproving glance, as if to blame him for ruining the moment.

32

Kai

Nine Years Ago

I sit against a tree, making tea. An eight year old shouldn’t know how to kill, skin, and cook a rabbit. An eight year old shouldn’t know half the things I know, but I’ve been surviving a year on my own and I’ve had to learn. The Festival was last year. Everyone was happy, even my adopted parents were. I would do anything to see them again... to see any of my tribe again...

I smell smoke. Another tribe has fallen. I climb the tree that I was leaning against. The bark is slippery and the branches high, and hard to grasp, but I manage to climb as high as I need. As I move the thinner branches out of the way, I see bright fire spreading. It’s not far away. The screaming echoes throughout the forest. I climb down the tree as fast as I can, while making sure my footing is secure, so I don’t accidentally fall. I hastily put my fire out and stamp out as much as it as I can, to try and conceal my location from any Hunters coming. I quickly wrap up the meat from the rabbit in some cloth and climb back up the tree, hiding myself from sight.

I spend the night sleeplessly in the tree, waiting for dawn to arrive. At the first light of the sunrise, I climb down the tree to make my way to the camp. After an hour, I find my way to the camp and see the remains of tents scattered in burning piles all around me, smoke still rising in various places and the smell of ash surrounding me. Bodies lie everywhere, but I ignore that while searching desperately for survivors and supplies. Just as I’m about to give up, I hear the faint sound of a crying child. I search everywhere until I find a wooden hatch, concealed with moss and leaves. I open it slowly and inside I find twin boys, about two years old. They notice me and stop crying instantly. I fully lift the lid off the hatch.

     ‘You have to come with me,’ I say, hoping that they know how to walk.

     They both look at each other curiously, before climbing to join me.

     ‘Wait!’ I say to them. ‘Close your eyes first, and promise not to look.’

     I do my best to block the tribe from their view as I guide them outside of the camp and to the safety of the forest.  Surprisingly, they kept their eyes closed until I assured them it was safe to open them.

     ‘I’m Kai,’ I say, pointing to myself. ‘I’m going to look after you while your parents are away.’

     I can only assume their parent’s fate, but there are rarely any survivors with Hunter attacks. I don’t want to hurt them with the truth that their parents and tribe are all dead, or captured by Hunters. The boys both look up at me. They’re brave for trusting in me and leaving their tribe behind.

     ‘What are your names?’ I ask them, trying to be as friendly as I can.

     I bend down on the leaves and mud next to them.

     ‘I’m Caleb,’ one of them says shyly. Caleb has thin blonde hair, cut just above his brown eyes. He’s fiddling with the hem of his shirt, which looks several sizes too big for him. ‘And this is Alec,’ he finishes, pointing to his twin brother.

     Alec looks identical to Caleb, besides his hair is a light brown colour. He’s wearing an oversize blue hoodie and is sucking his thumb while shifting his feet nervously. He looks up at me quickly, before returning his gaze to his feet.

     ‘Now I never have to survive on my own,’ I tell them. ‘I have you two and we will keep each other safe!’

     Caleb smiles at this and leans into me for comfort. I wrap my arms around both of them, before standing up and taking their hands.

     ‘We’ve got to stick together, alright?’ I ask them.

     Caleb nods, as if speaking for the both of them, and we walk through the forest together, leaving the smell of ash and death behind us. I can tell they’re scared, but as of now, we’re family. We’re safe.

33

Arys

Kai has been gone for over an hour already. I know he’s fine, but I’m still worried that he’ll do something irrational and stupid.

     ‘We should head back,’ Iris suggests, standing up. ‘Papa’s funeral will be soon.’

     Zach helps Nina up, before brushing mud from his jeans and glancing through the trees in search for Kai. He’s been nervously checking the trees every few minutes, feeling guilty for ruining the joyous moment earlier. Zach and Kayra are both still in their clothes from the Compound, like the rest of the people they came with. They don’t have any other clothes to change into, as we usually wait until the clothes we have are almost completely useless before foraging for more.

     The walk back to camp seems endless, and is much less fun than the journey here. After climbing awkward paths, we collect our shoes and jackets and head back the way we came. I carry Kai’s as he still hasn’t returned. When we arrive back into the camp, I see Kai helping carry a woman out of a tree. I can’t see from this distance if she’s dead or alive, but her leg seems to be twisted at an odd angle and is bleeding. As I get closer, I can tell she’s dead; there are no burns, but she must have broken her leg in the tree and couldn’t get back down when the smoke got too thick.

     Two children run past me as fast as they can to the woman in Kai’s arms. I recognise them as Lydia and Nate. They’re always laughing and teasing each other. The woman is Lydia’s mother.  Kai lays her on the ground carefully and the children’s cries break my heart and I turn away, unable to watch as they realise the extent of the damage.

     ‘Wake up! Wake up, please wake up, mum!’ I hear over my shoulder. Kayra puts her hand on my shoulder as the screams continue.

     ‘You can’t leave me, you promised!’ Lydia wails. ‘You can’t leave now,
please
,
mum!’

     She’s only nine. She’s too young to lose her mother. I turn back to face her, shrugging Kayra off and put my own hand on Lydia’s shoulder. She’s still screaming for her mother. I silently kneel next to her and she turns to me, her tear-streaked face bright red.

     ‘Susan?!’ I hear from behind me.

     I feel the pain in his voice as he sees his wife on the ground, he’s running towards us, and I back away, not wanting to intrude on the family mourning their loss.

Time goes slowly, as if it’s purposely making sure we won’t forget this day and we will live in the pain of it forever. The brief moment of happiness we shared earlier seems to have gone much faster than it came, and the loss of that mixes painfully with the loss of everyone. The sun can no longer be seen and the sky is an empty white space, stretching all over the sky, a sad, lonely, empty colour. The warm glow of the sun is hidden, as if mockingly trying to remind us of what we once had.

     I lie where Papa’s tent once was, reading the translations of the songs he used to sing. His scent is faintly imprinted onto the pages, so I find myself smelling the books every couple of lines. He used to sing to us in a different language. One that no one but him understood. As I flip through the pages, I find a song he wrote for me when I was a baby. The date is written in the top right corner of the page, in his familiar scruffy handwriting. I recognise the words in the original language, but don’t read the translation. Instead, I mark the page with a dead leaf I pick up from the floor. I will sing it in English at the funeral, revealing the real meaning to myself, at the same time as everyone else. The Tribe deserve to know the truth as much as I do; he was family to everyone.

We all wear dark, if not fully black clothes. Everything seems like a dream as we stand in the golden light of the sunset, listening to a solitary violin playing alongside a flute. I’ve only heard a violin once at the Festival. It sounded like an angel singing a lullaby. I’m surrounded by people, with Papa’s body lying peacefully in the coffin that Joseph made. The coffin is already in a hole in the ground, the lid concealing him. I imagine what he looks like laying there, his blanket covering him like he’s sleeping. It reminds me of when I was a child, when he’d rock me to sleep in the middle of the night after I’d had a nightmare. He would softly sing to me and I would lie next to him feeling his steady breaths, and in those moments I felt protected, as if nothing could ever hurt me. I think of the unsaid words, that I wish I could say.

I slowly open the book to the page I left the leaf in, take a deep breath and nod to Zeke, who begins to play his guitar. Everyone in the Tribe knows this song, just not in English. Papa wrote lots of songs over the years, but this one was everyone's favourite. The mysterious language it was written in always made it sound special, and Papa never told us the meaning of the words. That is a secret that will be revealed today. Zeke slowly plays the melody of the song and as he does, the rest of the Tribe begin to hum along, just like Papa always did. Kayra squeezes my shoulder reassuringly and I take one final breath before singing the words written in the book.

Stay close to your Tribe,

For the war has begun.

Drowned by the fire,

The Old World is gone.

The war has begun? That can't be right. The war is over and the world is slowly trying to recover. Even the Hunters are just surviving, really...

Safe with your Papa

You always will be.

Until the hero comes

To set us all free.

Papa used to hum again after this verse, and as the Tribe continue to do so now, I remember the stories of heroes that he used to tell us before bed, like the one about David who slayed a giant, and Moses who led thousands of people to their freedom. But a hero in this world is impossible... a false hope.

A hero divided at birth

Is the one.

Destined to save us,

A new world will come.

I make eye contact with Kayra. We were separated at birth; maybe we're thinking the same thing. Could Papa have written this song about us? I look back down at the book and sing the next line...

Sleep now my granddaughter,

Rest your young eyes.

My mind is now racing as I sing. Granddaughter?! Of course... Papa is my grandfather! I should have known! I begin to sing the last line, but as I realise what it says, tears flow down my cheeks and my voice cracks...

Papa will keep you safe

While he’s alive.

Kayra notices that I’m unable to sing the last three words and decides to sing them for me. She ends on a higher note than the song normally should, but it somehow lends a sense of hope to it that it didn't have before. Everyone here is left in stunned silence. I look up at Kayra, whose eyes are also widened, and a single tear is rolling silently down her cheek. None of us knew.

     I walk over to Papa’s grave and sit over the hole, the smell of fresh wood reaching my nostrils and filling me with more emotion over my loss.

     ‘I love you, Papa,’ I whisper, letting my tears fall onto the lid.

     I close my eyes and kneel besides him, ignoring everyone around me as my long-forgotten memories of him flood back.

I‘m two and running to meet him, my tiny legs barely strong enough to hold my weight. He picks me up effortlessly and spins me around, his smile stretching across his face and his eyes lit up with joy...

I’m six and he’s celebrating the five years we’ve been united. He’s giving me a rocking horse that he’s spent countless hours carving by himself, and he’s crying with laughter as I squeal with joy at the sight of it.

     ‘One day, Arys,’ he says, lifting me onto the rocking horse. ‘You’ll be a big girl and you’ll be the one protecting the Tribe!’

     I smile a big smile that I feel spreading from cheek to cheek.

     ‘Then I have to learn to fight!’ I say joyfully, pretending to hold a sword and swing it through the air at him.

     ‘You don’t have to fight, Arys!’ he laughs, pretending that I’ve hit him and falls to the ground. ‘Because I’ll always be around to protect you.’

     He pulls the imaginary sword out from his chest and raises it towards the sky, his lined face in a huge grin.

     ‘I will protect the Tribe, Papa. If you always protect me!’ I say.

     ‘It’s a deal, Arys.’ he says, handing me back my pretend sword...

The flashbacks end and I stand up, taking the eagle pendant from my neck. The string hangs loosely from my numb fingers as I hold it over the coffin. Slowly, I let it drop through the sky, the string slipping through my fingers softly. It lands with a sharp thud on the lid of the coffin, joining the larger eagle engraved on the top. For a second, I wonder if the noise was enough to wake Papa up from his eternal sleep and he could come back with us. But it’s a childish thought and he’s dead. I need to accept that. I rejoin the rest of the Tribe. The funeral formally begins with Marcus, one of the older men of the Tribe reading from The Bible, one of Papa’s books. He speaks of a second life after this one. A life without Hunters, or torment, or death. A life in which everyone is happy where there are no tears, and no suffering. Where those who lived a pure life, are taken by God to live in peace together, away from those who sought to cause harm and destruction. I struggle to see a world like that. My heart longs for it, and to be reunited with Papa, but I can’t see it. Not now. Then we sing more songs. Slower, more depressing ones that remind me of death and sadness. I will remember this day every time I hear any of these songs from now on. Everything slowly starts to go dark as the sun sets, like a black blanket covering the earth, casting a large shadow over everything, stealing away all the light. A full moon glows bright behind the darkness, like a light to guide you through the darkest of nights.