Divided (9 page)

“Um, on what?” Watching him, he licked his lips with his tongue and I had to look down so he wouldn’t catch me staring again.

“If you ask me a question, I’ll agree to answer; but I want you to answer a few for me.”

“Fine, I’ll get to the point.” I agreed, “Why do you call me Bug?” He moved his head to one side and then the other and cracked his neck

“When we were in Las Vegas, and you were sitting on the couch, and I was apologizing. I saw that you have a small ladybug tattooed on the inner part of your ankle. It’s hidden like you don’t want anyone to know that you have it. When I first saw it I thought that it was fitting. It reminds me of you. It’s small, bright and delicate. Some people believe that ladybugs are a sign of luck or a good omen. Some even believe they are little gifts from God. And now I believe it’s true because I was lucky enough to have met you. It’s also as if God put you in my path for some reason. The impression you left on me changed me in some ways. After I saw the tattoo I knew it was the perfect name for you.”

Wow. 
Not at all what I was expecting. I slowly felt a brick from the wall around my heart drop. It was just one brick, but it was a meaningful one.

“Did you know I was here tonight?” I asked. He looked like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Sorta yes…. Ok. Yes I did. I heard that someone new was in town. Someone from New York was visiting. So of course you pick the spa that my family owns and when my cousin Diane told me she chatted up a storm with this lovely girl from New York with beautiful brown hair, it caught my interest. I had asked around to see if anyone caught your name or knew where you were staying, I didn’t think in a million years it would be you. I thought you would be on your honeymoon by now. But when you came here, the bartender Phil called me claiming it was you. At first I thought he was fucking with me, but I couldn’t help myself so I came looking to see if it really was you.”

“Stalker.” I said smiling.

“Have you thought about me at all since we said goodbye?” He was so serious now as he waited for my answer.

“Everyday. I thought that it was cold feet, that what we shared in Vegas was just me being afraid of marrying Marco. I tried to forget about it but there was a connection there between us. Well at least for me.”

He placed his hand over mine. “For me too.” He said. I couldn’t mask the fear in my eyes. “Can you say
forget about it
again?” He quickly joked easing the conversation.

“Whatever, say
about
or
bagel
or
boat
.” I said back to him trying for my best Midwest accent.

Ryan and I stayed at Wild Wills until the bartender called last call. We had been talking for hours, just getting to know each other. It was so comforting being around him, I didn’t want the night to end. Shelly came back and gave us our check. I reached for my purse to pay my portion and found him already signing the credit card receipt.

“Hey!” I didn’t want him to pay for me but I didn’t argue when he refused to take the money from me. I just made a mental note to buy the next round. “Thank you for dinner.” I said to him as he handed the check to Shelly, giving me a nod.

“I should call a cab.” I said pulling out my cell phone.

“You didn’t rent a car?” he asked.

“I did, but I didn’t know how much I would drink so I wanted to be safe. Plus this is the first time I’m driving in almost four years.”

He stood up and took my hand. “Come on, my ladybug. I’ll take you home.” I was more than eager to get in his car. Though for whatever reason I imagined Ryan driving a pickup truck not a Nissan Xterra. He opened the door for me and helped me in; I leaned over and popped open his door.

“Thank you. Sorry it smells like feet in here, I didn’t get a chance to stop home and leave all the hockey gear.” I looked back and saw that his back seats were all the way down; on top of them there were tons of hockey skates and hockey sticks.

“Will you teach me how to play hockey?” I asked. “I know how to ice skate somewhat, well very little, but I’ve never actually played hockey before.” I admitted, rubbing my hands together. I was used to the occasional brutal winter but this cold in the Midwest was bone crushing cold.

“Yeah I’ll teach you. Now, where to?” He said as the car warmed up.

I told him where I was staying and he made his way towards the hotel. For the past couple of days I had been contemplating if I should go home early or not. I even thought this could possibly be my last night here. There wasn’t anything else I wanted to do in Grand Forks, there was only so much running a person could do after all, and after my spa day, I felt like a whole new person, I had wanted to go home but now, well, now there was no way I was leaving early.

Ryan pulled into the fire lane and put his car in to park as we approached my hotel. “Stay right there.” He got out of the car and walked around to open my car door. “Why thank you.” I said joking with him. He only walked to the front lobby and stopped.

“This is where I have to say good bye. If I walk you to your room I’ll try to find a reason to go inside. You know how much I can’t control myself around you and I’m not saying that you would want to do anything with me, but I’m going to be a gentleman and stop here.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for being exactly who I remember.” He hugged me tightly and I took a deep breath, breathing in his cologne. I was considering skipping my shower tonight and hoped to keep his smell all over me.

 “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at nine am. Make sure to dress warm.” With that he kissed me on the forehead and walked out.

I didn’t remember how I made it up to my room. I was on cloud nine and I had a smile from ear to ear. I plopped down on the bed and took my phone out of my pocket. Before I went to the bar I had called the airline and asked to be put on standby for tomorrow, it only made sense to shorten my trip at the time. But after tonight everything had changed. I quickly called the airline and canceled my stand by flight. Deciding that I would be staying here for an additional five days. I pulled out my cell and sent a text to Katie. 

Me: Hi, I won’t be going home until Friday.

Katie: What happened ;)

Me: Nothing.

Katie: Yeah right! Even over text you suck at lying! Spill. When and where did you see Ryan?

Me: I hate you sometimes. But I lost a bet with him and I have to stay.

Katie: Uh Huh. You” have to stay” Whatever you say girlie. Have fun!!!

Me: Night!

 
I took off my clothes tossing them into the dirty clothes bag before changing into my oversized sweats pants I walked to the bathroom to wash my makeup off and heard my phone chirp with a new text message. The front of my phone reading 
<3 Ryan James Kraft <3
 I smiled at the sideway hearts he added, he must have snuck his number into my phone earlier in the evening. I moved the unlock button, opening the text message

 
Ryan: I just got home. Wanted to tell you I’ll be dreaming about ladybugs all night. Maybe just one ;)

Me: Hi, stalker!!!!!! When did you input your number in my phone?

Ryan: You left it on the table when you went to use the restroom. I was not losing contact with you again.

Me: But you could have asked.

Ryan: What if you said no.

 Me: I wouldn’t have

Ryan: :) I’ll see you tomorrow.

Me: Goodnight

I tossed and turned but sleep didn’t come. I turned on the TV and watched re-runs of
Friends
and
Everybody Loves Raymond
. I also watched an infomercial about tapioca pudding. I tried everything to sleep but nothing was working. This was going to suck. Ryan would be here in a couple of hours to pick me up and I would look like a mess. My phone buzzed on my nightstand. I assumed it was an email from work regarding my current leave so I ignored it. It buzzed three more times and finally I rolled over and picked it up. I had 3 missed text messages.
What the heck?
It was 3:45 in the morning.

Ryan: I can’t sleep so I’m counting little red bugs with black dots….One

Ryan: Two…

Ryan: Three… I guess I should stop before I wake you

Me: Hi… Can’t sleep I see.

Ryan: Did I wake you? I didn’t mean to… well maybe a little :)

Me: No, you didn’t wake me. I couldn’t sleep.

Ryan: Thinking about me?

Me: You are pretty full of yourself, huh?

There was no response. I waited five minutes, still no response. I assumed he fell asleep. I connected my phone back to its charger and lay back down. Was I thinking about him?
Um Yeah!

My phone buzzed longer and with more force, letting me know I had an incoming call. I answered quickly seeing that it was Ryan. “Are you done rubbing one out already?” I questioned. His laugh over the phone was enough for me to get a shiver over my body.

His laugh faded into the night, and his tone got serious. “I tried to leave you alone. I wrote a text and deleted it six times and I finally had the courage to call.” I sat up quickly on the bed. I thought this was where he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore.

“Ryan, what happened?” I questioned.

“I just wanted to make sure that you don’t leave. I’ve wanted to spend time with you since I met you and I just wanted to make sure that I didn’t scare you off by winning the bet. And I’m being nosy now, but I need to ask you to do one more thing. Don’t go back to him.” Dead silence. I couldn’t answer. “I don’t mean to pry.” He continued. “I know you loved him, but it’s just that I haven’t been able to get you off my mind and you’re here now; I don’t want to be some guy that distracts you long enough for you to forgive him and run back. You can count on me but, well, I just don’t want to get close to you and have you walk away.”

Silence.

“This was easier when we were texting.” That was the first thing that came out of my mouth. Great.
No filter
. Inhaling I proceeded. “Am I going back to him, no, hell no. I’m not ready to talk about what happened, but I will tell you that there is no chance of him and me getting back together. Secondly you are not my rebound. You are a friend in a strange city. If you don’t want to see me again, it’s fine. No big deal.”

I closed my eyes hoping he wasn’t going to say that he didn’t want to see me. “Alani, of course I want to see you. I just…I wasn’t sure.”

“Ok.” I said, heaving a sigh, “Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I had no idea what had happened between us, it had been flirtatious before, but now it was just plain confusing. The conversation went from easy going to talking about rebounds. I came here to get away from the world but my gut begged for me to get closer to Ryan.

“Ok.” He paused, “Goodnight, Alani.”

I hung up the phone with an ache in my heart. I had no idea what had just happened between Ryan and me. We had a great night and now it felt weird. Maybe this
was
a bad idea.
 

Chapter 6
Let Go

 I
woke up the next morning feeling exhausted. I couldn’t fall asleep until five in the morning and even so, I was petrified that I would over sleep and not make it to see Ryan. I was up at eight showered and ready by 8:45AM. Ryan had said to dress warm so I tried; I had no idea where we were going so I went for a comfy look. It was 9:01AM when my hotel phone rang. “Hello?” I said into the receiver.

“Hi Ms. LaBelle, you have a Mr. Kraft here to see you.” Strange, I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just call my cell. “Please let him know I’ll be right down.”

Hanging up I made my way downstairs. The butterflies in my stomach seemed to get bigger with each floor that the elevator descended. I walked towards the lobby and I could see why Ryan had said for me to dress warm, it had snowed overnight and the skies were still grey. The heater was on in the hotel so I carried my coat instead of putting it on. I saw Ryan before he saw me. He was paying attention to the news on the television. “Hi.” I said as I shoulder bumped him. His eyes meet mine and he looked nervous.

“Why did you have them call my room? You could’ve called me.” 

He bowed his head. “I didn’t know if you wanted to see me after what I asked you last night. I felt like maybe I crossed the line. It really isn’t any of my business.” He was so nervous. It was cute to see him as anything other than overly confident. “Come on.” I said grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the door.

Once the air hit me, I stopped dead in my tracks. “What the hell? It’s freaking freezing.” I turned suddenly crashing my body into Ryan’s while trying to shield my face from the cold with Ryan’s chest. “Come on Bug. Luckily where we are going it’s a little warmer than here.” This sparks my interest and I forget about the arctic cold weather for a few seconds. 

“Where are we going?” I asked.

Ryan opened his car door for me and I hopped right in. It was warm, probably from his ride to the hotel so when he started the car the heat came on at full blast.

“Well, are you ready for a day of work with me?”

I looked at him a little confused. “Seriously? That’s what we are doing?”

He smiled and backed his car out of the parking spot and made a left out onto the main highway. “Not really.” He responded smirking. “But I do have to stop by the school.” 

Ryan was a hockey coach at North Dakota College. I liked hockey. I enjoyed watching the game, but I had only been on the ice once when I was younger.

The ice rink at the college was big, really big. There were so many offices in the hallways behind the bleachers; I was surprised all these people worked there. Ryan saw me staring aimless around. “Because of the cold weather it’s hard for the college to focus on outside sports. All of the indoor sports become a big deal. And hockey here is a really big deal.”