Distorted Hope (38 page)

“I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”

“I don’t want you to, either, though Mark said you were a big help.”

“Really? I don’t think I did much.”

“You did. Especially with Sebastian. I understand he was quite taken with you.”

I blinked. “You’re not going to make me—”

He shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. The only hands that will be on your beautiful body are mine. Especially as my wife.”

“That makes me happy.”

“I’m glad. I don’t like to share.”

We flew into Panama City later that morning and were married before lunch. I couldn’t stop grinning and giggling. I think Nathan felt the same way. Mark teased that Nathan’s face would break from all his smiling.

We spent a few days in a private casita along the ocean on the northern side of Panama. We ate and made love. I couldn‘t imagine a better honeymoon.

When we returned, the girls had arranged a reception for us and we celebrated with everyone in the hacienda and the villagers from down the mountain. The men of the village worked in Nathan’s workshop. They grew the food that we ate, and Juanita and Beatriz lived down there, as well. I hadn’t met the villagers before, but they were very kind and happy for us.

I thought I was over the bug I’d caught in London. I hadn’t felt sick in several days, but a few days after we returned, I was feeling sick again. I wasn’t feverish, which I guess was good. I just felt achy and nauseous. Dr. Perez took some blood and flew into Panama to do the labs. When he returned, the next morning, Nathan and I went into the office to discuss the results with him.

I was nervous, as was Nathan. It must be bad if he wanted to meet with us. Otherwise, he would have just told Nathan everything was fine. I fiddled with my wedding rings as we talked.

Dr. Perez sat down on the couch across from us. I held Nathan’s hand tightly and trembled.
Was I going to die? Did I have cancer?
A million fears flew into my head as I waited for him to begin talking.

“Well, Kyra, you’re not sick.”

I exhaled, relieved. I felt Nathan relax, too.

“Then what’s wrong with her?” Nathan asked.

Dr. Perez’s face was impassive as he spoke. “You’re pregnant,” he said in a soft voice.

My heart leapt and I clasped my hands over my mouth. “Oh! Oh, Nathan!” I felt my heart soar as I looked up at him. He didn’t look happy and my heart sank. “Nathan?”

“How far along is she?” he asked.

“The blood work indicates about seven weeks.”

Seven weeks? But that meant… Oh, God! It wasn’t Nathan’s baby.
I looked back up into Nathan’s face. His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was trying to keep calm.

“How is that possible?” he asked in a calm voice.

Dr. Perez grimaced. “I didn’t expect her to be traveling as long as she did. Her shot must have worn off about six weeks into her trip.”

Nathan was stiff beside me.
What was he thinking? Was he angry? Was he happy?
I mean, at least I was pregnant. It showed I could really get pregnant again.

Then the realization sank in. I had married Nathan while pregnant with another man’s child. It had to be Mark’s. He was the only one I had sex with after the first two weeks of the trip. Did Nathan know that?

But it wasn’t my fault. How was I supposed to know he would have changed while I was gone and want me back? I didn’t keep track of my shots. Dr. Perez did that, and he came up whenever we needed them. Would Nathan have cared if he hadn’t changed and wanted me back? Not that it mattered now.

Nathan still hadn’t said anything. “Nathan?” I asked, putting my hand on his.

He looked at me, face inscrutable. “I need a moment.” He stood and walked out of the office and into the yard.

I looked at Dr. Perez, who had a sympathetic look on his face. “It’s not his, is it?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not if I’m at seven weeks.” I hesitated. “It’s Mark’s.”

“How do you know?”

“He’s the only one I had sex with during the trip. Except for the first couple of weeks.”

“Ah.” Dr. Perez looked at the doorway, lost in thought. “I’m not sure if I should try and go talk to him or let him be.”

I played with my rings again. “He’s angry.”

“He’s disappointed.”

“It’s kind of the same thing with him.”

The doctor didn’t argue.

I walked out into the courtyard and looked around for Nathan. I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how he would take it. Would he be happy I was pregnant again? Or angry it wasn’t his?

What a mess!

I stood at the edge of the courtyard, near the steps, but I didn’t see Nathan anywhere.

“Is everything okay, Kyra?”

I jumped at the sound of Mark’s voice. I know he’d been worried about me, too, but now I was afraid of facing him.
How would he take it? Would Nathan want me to tell him?
He had a right to know. It was his child. But did Nathan know that?

“Did you tell Nathan you were the only one I slept with during the trip?

“Yeah. Why?”

Nathan knew the baby was Mark’s. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered.

“Oh, Kyra! That’s great!” He paused. “Where’s Nathan? Does he know?”

“Yeah.”

There was a long pause. “How far along are you?”

I hesitated. “About seven weeks.”

Mark didn’t respond. I didn’t turn around. I’d been facing out toward the yard the entire time, hoping I would see where Nathan went.

“I should go find him,” I said, and took a step away, but Mark grabbed my elbow.

“Kyra, if he starts… if he rejects you… I
will
take you away from here.”

I looked up with tears in my eyes. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.” I turned and walked away, heading toward the garden.

Nathan wasn’t in the main garden, so I walked to the corner and slipped past the soft evergreens shielding the memorial garden from sight. I think others knew it was here, but no one went there except Nathan and myself.

He sat on the wooden bench, staring at the ground.

“Nathan?” I kept my voice quiet so as not to startle him.

He looked up at me with a pained expression on his face. “I don’t know what to do.”

I went and sat next to him and took his hand. “I’m so sorry, Nathan.”

He squeezed my hand gently and kissed my temple. “It’s not your fault.” He exhaled slowly. “It’s Mark’s baby, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

He exhaled again. “Does he know?”

“He found me when I was looking for you. I told him.”

“How did he take the news?”

I didn’t want to tell Nathan what Mark said to me. “He didn’t say much. I don’t know how he feels about it.”

“I suppose it could be worse… it could be a client’s. And if it was any one of my men, I’m glad it’s him.”

He wasn’t angry about it being Mark’s. Okay, that was a good start. He really didn’t seem angry at all, which was a relief. But really, what
could
he be angry about? It’s not like I did it on purpose. And I had no idea what was going to happen when I came home. As far as I knew, I would resume my duties as a sex slave and never be with Nathan again. I was grateful for the care and attention Mark gave me. It helped take away the hurt of what Nathan had done.

“Do you care for him?”

Nathan’s question surprised me. “He’s been good to me. Yes, I do care for him.”

“Do you love him?”

I thought for a moment. “I guess I do in a way, but not the way I love you. He cared for me when you were… avoiding me. I liked it. It helped take the edge off of the pain. But I love you, Nathan. You are my husband and there is no one else I would want to be married to.”

“I suppose that’s a fair answer,” he said, taking my hand. He looked at the stone marking Hope’s grave. “I can’t keep him away from his child. That would be cruel.” He sighed. “I suppose the three of us are just going to have to figure out a way to make things work.”

“Work how?”

“You’re my wife, but it’s his child. He can be involved in the pregnancy, of course, but there can’t be physical relations between you two.”

Ouch!
“Why would you think I would want to be with him, Nathan?”

“Do you?”

“Of course not. I want to be with you and only you.”

“Are you sure? I’m an old man.”

I giggled. “You’re not an old man. And besides,” I wiggled my left hand, “I’m stuck with you.” I smiled to let him know I was teasing.

That seemed to cheer him up and he laughed. “Yes, you are.” He kissed me.

“Nathan, did you think I would want to leave you because of the baby?”

He pressed his lips together and nodded.

“Oh, Nathan!” I threw my arms around him. “I never want to leave you. Ever. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Kitten.”

“It’s my baby.”

“She’s my wife.”

“So you’re saying because she’s your wife, I can’t rub her stomach?”

Nathan huffed. “Yes.”

“That’s a little unreasonable, don’t you think?”

“You were trying to kiss her.”

“For God’s sake, Nathan. I told you… I snuck up on her and accidentally frightened her when I reached for her. I was making sure she didn’t fall.”

I paused at the top of the second flight of stairs when I heard Nathan and Mark talking. Arguing, I suppose. They’d been doing that a lot ever since they found out I was pregnant two months ago. I hated to see them argue, but I had learned to stay out of it.

Mark was afraid Nathan would hurt me. Nathan was afraid Mark would try to steal me away from him. Both of them had unfounded fears. I had no intention of leaving Nathan, and I knew Nathan wouldn’t hurt me. Sometimes, I thought Mark would steal me away if he thought he could, but I’d made it very clear I loved Nathan. I think Mark understood.

The incident which they were arguing about really was innocent. I had been lost in thought when Mark came up behind me to rub my belly, which he liked to do. I didn’t mind. It felt good. But that time freaked me out for some reason and I started shaking. Mark held me up until my legs were steady again. That was all that happened. He let me go as soon as I told him I was okay.

“Stay away from her,” Nathan growled.

“She’s carrying my child. I won’t do that. I have just as much a right to—”

“You have a right to the child inside her, not her.”

“We wouldn’t be going through all this shit if you had gotten your head out of your ass earlier.”

“You should have made sure her birth control was up to date.”

“Fuck that, Nathan. It’s not my responsibility to make sure your slaves are protected.”

“You were gone for months. It didn’t occur to you to ask her?”

“Again, I’ve never had to worry about the girls once they’re here. That’s not my fucking responsibility. If you’re gonna be pissed about it, go talk to Luís. He should have said something.”

I hated listening to them fight. I had done so more times than I wanted to these last couple of months. I don’t think they knew how often I heard them.

“This isn’t working,” Nathan growled.

“What choice do we have?”

Nathan didn’t say anything.

“No! No fucking way. I will take her away from here before I let you do that.”

What was Mark talking about?