Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 (20 page)

My head hurts.

I feel sick.

I’m never drinking again.

I daren’t open my eyes. I can feel the hot sun on the side of my face. Isaac must have opened the curtains. I hate it when he does that.

Holy fuck!

I called Isaac last night.

Did I… did I sleep with him?

This time I do peek my eyes open and my heart can’t help the beat of disappointment it releases when I see Silas, not Isaac, beside me.

He snores gently and, as if sensing my need to get up to go and wee, he wraps me in his long arms and buries his face in my neck.

“Morning.” His voice is gruff and tired. “How are you feeling?”

“I thought you were sleeping,” I say.

“No, I was waiting to feel the full bite of the disappointment written all over your face when you realised who I wasn’t.” He states after leaning above me on one elbow.

My mouth drops open. “I…” I quickly slide from beneath him. “I need to shower.”

He doesn’t respond so I quickly drag my hung-over body into the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash away last night’s dirt under the hot spray. I mentally kick myself over and over. I should have said something. I should have defended myself, but how can I do that without lying to him and telling him what he wants to hear?

I don’t know what to say.

I make my shower last longer than needed, purely to avoid the confrontation no doubt waiting for me. Is this it? Are we about to break up?

As I’m climbing out, careful not to slip on the white tile floor, I realise that in my haste to escape the situation, I forgot to grab a towel from my bag.

Shit.

I lean against the sink and stare at my blurred outline in the fogged, unfamiliar mirror. My body drips heavy droplets of water to the ground.

Not a single ounce of me has an idea how I’m going to deal with this.

The door opens without a knock. I don’t hide my body; there’s little to no point as he has seen me many times and I’m not shy.

It’s not until I feel him wrapping me in the soft towel that I realise why he’s in here. It isn’t to confront me or to break up with me. It’s to take care of me.

“Thank you,” I say quietly and place my damp arms over his bare ones. His lips find my neck from behind as he holds me tight. “I’m sorry…”

He stays silent before releasing me and exiting the bathroom.

I am sorry. I mean it too. I wasn’t just saying it for the hell of it. I am truly sorry. He deserves better from me.

Isaac
:
How’s your head this morning?

This message comes as I’m joining Silas for a late breakfast. The girls are all waiting for us, looking as shit as I feel.

Hayley is sat on Tyler’s lap for some reason, though he seems to be enjoying it.

Jocelyn is the only one who actually looks fresh and I hate her for it. It’s no wonder Isaac fancies her.

Eloise
:
It’s better than I deserve. Was I a nuisance last night?

Isaac
:
Not at all.

I put my phone away when Silas looks over from his space across the table. We make eye contact and a wave of sadness swims between us. It makes my eyes water. I don’t know why I’m so emotional this morning. It’s probably because I’ve only had around five hours sleep and my blood alcohol content has too little blood in it.

“So, did you all have fun?” Tyler asks and receives nothing but a collective groan from us all.

“Where did you disappear to last night?” Kira asks. “Nobody could find you. We were all worried.”

“She was with me,” Silas lies and only I notice his hands clench on the table.

“I lost you all. I ended up trying to walk back to the hotel but I got distracted by food.” This is the truth and then I realised I was genuinely lost and in a town where I don’t know a single taxi company.

“That was silly,” Beth puts in and Jocelyn and Hayley nod their agreement.

Suddenly I’m the focus of everyone's attention. “I forgot I was in Boston.”

Laughter ensues. “That’s when you know you’re having a good night,” Beth shouts over the noise.

Jocelyn smiles at me but her brows are slightly creased in the middle. She’s the only one who isn’t laughing. Even I’m laughing, which is a feat considering the circumstances.

“So, what are the plans today?” Kira asks, leaning around Beth so she can see me.

“I have to get back to work,” I admit solemnly, not ready for this mini break to end. “You know the score.” I’ve got an entire week off for Hayley’s wedding on Saturday and the inn is so close to being finished I can practically taste it.

“But you’re coming back on Friday morning, right?” Hayley asks, her brows rising.

I nod and take her hand over the table. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Her warm smile meets mine and the urge to hug her is thwarted by the table between us. “And I’ll pick up your dress on the way without issue.”

“You’re the only person I’d trust to the task.”

There’s got to be no greater honour than being trusted with the bride’s dress. “The pressure is awful, however.”

“Shut it.”

Finally food is served! There is nothing better than a fry up to soothe the hungover human. With a tall glass of ice cold cranberry juice on the side.

“I’m going to stay,” Silas says quietly as I take my first bite.

My eyes spring to him but I keep my face stoic. “What?”

“I’m going to stay for the day before heading back to Brighton.”

“You’re not coming to the inn?”

Shaking his head, he pushes the mushrooms on his plate around with a fork.

I don’t know what to say. “Okay. No problem.” But it is a problem. It’s a huge problem. I was expecting him to help me today.

Fuck.

He’s really upset with me.

Our shared moment doesn’t go unnoticed and I doubt it will go unasked later either.

“Come to my room.” Hayley grips my wrist as we filter out of the dining hall.

I allow her to drag my sorry arse to her room, leaving Tyler and Silas to chat about the previous night, or whatever it is men chat about.

Saying that though, they did share a few undecipherable looks over the breakfast table. A fair few, now that I think of it. What’s that all about?

“Okay.” She closes the door behind us and kicks a pair of her trousers out of the way. Her tidiness skills haven’t improved since our school years. “Where did you
really
go last night?”

“I was…” I think to lie but quickly change my mind. This is my closest friend. If anybody deserves to judge me, it’s her. “I called Isaac.”

“No!” She says, her voice low with disbelief. “Why?”

That’s a good question. “I don’t know.”

Her eyes twinkle with mischief and a smirk stretches her lips. “Did you…?”

It’s not until her eyebrows wag up and down for a third time that I finally get what she’s asking. “Oh! No… NO!”

“But you wanted to?”

I hesitate. It’s long enough to make her laugh with delight. She bounces onto her knees on the bed, still facing me.

“What is wrong with you?” I snap and my hands rest automatically on my hips. “Why is it that you suddenly want me to sleep with my ex-husband? After everything he did to me?” And after a breath I add, “And what about Silas?”

“You and Silas are about done. There’s nothing there.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No. You two have as much chemistry as vinegar and water.”

I roll my eyes and flop onto the bed beside her. “Stop being mean. We’re great together.”

“You are, it’s true, but where’s the fire?”

She’s beginning to annoy me. “Get to the point.”

“I know something you don’t know.”

I raise a sceptical brow and roll on my side to face her. She follows suit and suddenly I feel like I’m fifteen again. “Something besides the rehab stint?”

She grins wickedly and confirms, “Something besides the rehab stint.”

Now I’m interested. “What?”

“Isaac,” she whispers, as if there are a thousand ears listening in, “hasn’t slept with anybody but you since before you were married.”

My heart starts to beat a fast rhythm in my chest. It’s pattering so quickly it’s almost humming. It soars and flips and dips and I feel warm from my head to my toes, as ridiculous and cliché as that is.

“Are you serious?”

“As a mouse trap.”

What?

She rolls onto her back. “I just feel like… it’s worth exploring. That’s not a small thing, you know?” She’s not wrong. I don’t know why it makes me as happy as it does, even though I’m such a hypocrite for thinking it. “Over four years you’ve been separated.”

I roll onto my back and place my hand over my friend’s. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me neither.”

“How do you know?”

“Jocelyn.”

My smile turns into a scowl but I remain silent. There’s little I can say.

“They haven’t done it yet either…” she adds and my scowl vanishes.

“When I first came back, he tried to kiss me.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

I shake my head, no.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I can see that you’re mad but…”

“Worst friend ever!” Her body knifes upwards and she reclaims her bouncing position on the bed. I follow suit but decide not to bounce. Just her doing it is making me feel nauseous. “Tell me everything.”

“I pushed him away.”

“Good for you.”

“He said he wanted to try again.”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t say yes.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I run my fingertips along the crumpled blanket beneath us. “I don’t want to go back.”

“Didn’t.” She corrects.

“Our relationship was toxic.”

“That I agree with, but it doesn’t mean it still will be. You’ve both grown up.”

Could we try again? Could it be possible? Do I even want to?

What am I saying?

“I love Silas. I know we’re not exactly on the best terms right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on us.” I hold up my hand when she tries to interrupt me. “Also, Isaac hasn’t really shown that he’s changed. Let’s be honest.”

“But…”

“He’s still secretive and closed off. I had to ask him about rehab in order to get him to tell me about rehab. I don’t want that. I remember how it felt, coming home to a husband who didn’t trust me enough to bear his burdens for him.”

Hayley’s lips part but I see understanding in her eyes. She nods and pulls me in for a sideways hug. “I just don’t want you to miss out on any chances at happiness.”

“Hayley, I don’t need a man to make me happy. I don’t need anyone to make me happy. I’m the master of my own goddamn happiness, not some guy from five years ago, not some guy now either. Just me.”

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t.” Letting out a sigh, I stand and stretch my aching body. “I’m happy with Silas.”

“It’s your choice. I’ll love and respect you, no matter what. You know that.”

Smiling warmly at my friend, I move to the door and rest my hand on the handle. “See you later.”

“Don’t be late on Friday!” I hear her footsteps behind me. “And don’t forget, ruin or lose my dress!”

“I won’t.” I grin and step out into the hallway. “Have a great week.”

Isaac hasn’t slept with anyone else.

Isaac has not slept with anybody else.

I don’t know what to do with this information.

“What gift should we get for them?” I ask into the phone.

“No clue.” Dad blows out a breath. “Don’t they have one of those wish list thingies on the net?”

That is a really good point. “I’ll call Hayley now and ask her.”

“You do that.” He hangs up before I can say goodbye, although I didn’t expect much more from him. He’s with Mum and when he’s with Mum he doesn’t like to be distracted.

Isaac
:
What’s Hayley’s number?

Eloise
:
Why?

Isaac
:
I need to know if she has a wish list. We don’t know what gift to get her.

Eloise
:
She does. I’ll send you it in a second.

I notice how she doesn’t ask how I am or what I’m doing, not that I expect it. Or maybe I do… I don’t know. It just feels like she’s being short with me.

Isaac
:
Is everything okay?

Eloise
:
Busy. The inn is in the final stages. Paint everywhere… wallpaper… etc. The decorators are being lewd and inappropriate and it’s pissing me off. It’s just not a good day today.

This concerns me, not that it’s any of my business.

Isaac
:
What do you mean by lewd and inappropriate? Where’s Silas?

Eloise
:
I laughed at a sexist joke but it’s given them free reign to basically treat me like the centre piece of a fucking sex shop. Silas isn’t here.

My hand clenches around my phone.

Isaac
:
Want me to come up there?

I feel like I should go up there even though I’m not entirely sure where ‘there’ is.

Isaac
:
Hello? You’re starting to worry me now.

She finally responds after a few more seconds. Longest seconds of my life.

Eloise
:
I’m okay. I just want to get this done. I’ve called Silas.

That’s why it took her so long to answer. I had hoped she was thinking about inviting me up there.

Isaac
:
No worries. Do you still have the pepper spray I bought for you?

Eloise
:
Oddly enough I do. But it’s back at mine, in my bedside table.

Isaac
:
It’s probably past its use by date. I’ll get you more and you should keep it in your handbag always.

Eloise
:
I can buy my own pepper spray…

Isaac
:
But you won’t.

Eloise
:
Whatever. I’ve just sent you the link to Hayley and Tyler’s wish list. Everything with a star beside it means it has been bought already.

Isaac
:
Thank you. I hope your day gets better.

Eloise
:
Me too.

I quickly check the list and opt to buy them this nutri-juicer thing. My dad agrees with my choice and I set out to buy it before ticking it off the wish list. 

My phone rings whilst I’m in the middle of wrapping the gift in shiny silver paper.

“Jocelyn.” I say and can’t help but smile. “Everything okay?”

“Do you think I can stay at yours Saturday night? I don’t want to impose on the bride and groom and the two hotels in town are totally booked.”

Good question. “I guess that would be okay, though, it’s not my place; it’s my dad’s place. You know that right?”

“Duh, I do pay attention to you, you know.”

Of course she does. “He’ll be there.”

“I’ll try to be quiet.” Her laughter is contagious. “See you tomorrow. Text me your address and I’ll drop a few bits off tomorrow morning so I don’t have to rush it all around on Saturday. Is that okay?”

“Of course. I can come and pick them up if it’ll save you time?”

“You are literally
the
nicest person I know.”

“I’ll pop by at around ten. Are you staying at Hayley's mum’s?”

“Yep.” She pops the P.

“Great. See you in the morning.”

“Toodles.” The line goes dead.

I’m officially exhausted and looking forward to bed but first I should make sure that Elle is okay.

Isaac
:
Are things better now? Are you okay? Are you sure you don’t want me to come down there?

Her response is immediate and it knocks the wind out of me.

Eloise
:
Stop texting me. It makes you seem desperate. I’m not interested.

I don’t have a clue how to respond so I don’t. I just put my phone down, finish wrapping the gift and have a hot shower.

Desperate? I’m not desperate for anything. Especially not for her.

The stirring of my cock tells a different story.

Isaac
:
Do you still want a tour of the school?

Jocelyn
:
Hell yeah! When?

Isaac
:
Saturday night.

Jocelyn
:
Epic!

It’s time to fuck away this hold that Elle has on my body.

She’s not the same girl I fell in love with. I have to stop pretending that this will get better. It won’t. She’s not coming back. Her text proves that.

“What are you doing, Isaac?” I ask myself out loud as the scorching spray prickles across my body. “What the fuck are you doing?”

She’s just another bitch on the list.