Distant Heart (9 page)

The two women exited the tent and turned their steps toward Fannie's wagon. “I sure wish I knew why Ginger insists she can't abide Mr. Kelley,” Toni said. “Do you think they knew each other before Ginger showed up at Fort Laramie?”

Fannie gave a shrug. “I didn't like Blake in the beginning and he didn't much care for me either. But I had never laid eyes on him until he walked into Tom's store that day. So maybe they just don't cotton to each other.”

“I wonder…” Toni scanned the circle of wagons until her eyes came to rest on Grant Kelley. She shook her head. The man didn't even notice the stir he caused as he walked by a group of gossiping young belles. “He's awfully handsome, isn't he?”

“Who? Sam?”

“I meant Mr. Kelley.”

Fannie snapped to and followed Toni's gaze. “I suppose so. But what about Sam?”

“What do you mean, Fannie?”

The young bride gave a frustrated huff. “I don't think you should be looking at Grant Kelley. Sam's a good man.”

Resentment welled inside of Toni. “I'm not looking at any man
that
way. I was just observing how Mr. Kelley doesn't seem to even notice how he's causing a flutter among those young women. And as far as Sam is concerned…you're right. He is good. Too good for me and he knows it. So let's just leave him out of these types of conversations from here on out. Shall we?”

Toni's lungs burned and she realized as she gasped for air that she'd spoken so fast, rushing her words, that she hadn't taken time to breathe.

Fannie's lips twisted into a knowing grin.

“I mean it, Fannie.” Toni stopped and faced her friend. “I have resigned myself to living alone and I don't want or need to get ideas of romance in my head.”

As a woman, she had at her disposal ways to get a man interested. And as a woman of her former profession, she knew even more tricks than the average female, but those things weren't an option. She cared too much for Sam to manipulate him into loving her.

After a seven-day delay, the wagon train was finally ready to move forward again. Calluses had to re-form, muscles that had grown soft had to once again be hardened. Toni kept a watchful eye on Sam as he slowly, day-by-day acclimated to the saddle so that he'd be ready to ride by the time the wagon train moved out.

Although Toni thought he should rest this evening before they pulled out in the morning, he had insisted upon sharing from the Bible, something he'd been too weak to do thus far. He stood before the group of pioneers, visibly weak and pale. Bible in hand, he flipped through the well-worn pages until he reached the page he was looking for. Peace settled over his features as be began to read. “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me…”

Toni listened in rapturous silence. The poetic words fed into her soul, and she could even imagine the voice speaking was God himself. She became lost in the image of Jesus,
anointed by God to heal the brokenhearted, to give beauty into a life where filth and sin had once marred even the most lovely of hearts. The way hers had been before Micah showed up. So pure, so innocent. Innocence quickly gave way to experience and that's where the filth and sin entered. Would she ever feel clean again?

What had become of Mama and Papa? Did they ever think of her? And if so, were their thoughts good or evil? Did they hate her? Did her brother, Jacob? He was almost a man now. Had her sister Emma given birth to a second or third child? She had been heavy with her first baby when Toni left home. Did Emma ever mention their Aunt Toni?

She emitted a sigh. Lately, her thoughts often led her home to the Missouri farm where she was raised. How she longed to return to that time before she had been so foolish as to believe a man.

“…to set at liberty them that are bruised.”

Tears shot to her eyes as the very bruises she should be free from began to ache so much that heaviness descended and she had difficulty taking a breath.

A hand on her arm brought her back to the present and she turned to find Ginger staring, a deep frown marring her brow. “What the heck's wrong with you?”

Toni flashed a glance about the makeshift congregation. Sure enough, Ginger's voice had carried and had even caught Sam's attention. He frowned, but his wasn't like the rest. It wasn't condemning or critical or downright angry. His was one of concern. Was she all right? What was wrong?

His concern felt good. She had to admit. She sent him the
slightest of smiles just to reassure him and he went back to his message.

“Jesus came to give us not only salvation and the assurance of heaven, but also to heal our wounds, physical or emotional, and especially spiritual.”

Ginger gave a snort. “He ain't seen fit to do no healin' on this leg of mine,” she muttered. She adjusted her body against the tree she sat in front of. For emphasis, she folded her arms across her chest.

“Hush, Ginger,” Toni hissed.

The young woman scowled. “So-rry. Maybe I should just leave.”

Toni leaned over. “You shouldn't leave. You should stop making a spectacle of yourself and extend Sam the courtesy of shutting your mouth.”

Toni half expected the stubborn girl to struggle to her feet and haul herself back to the wagon. Instead, she shut her mouth, tightly, and glared ahead, refusing to so much as look in Sam's direction, or Toni's for that matter, but at least she stayed. And as far as Toni was concerned that showed real progress.

 

The trail was even slower after Fort Laramie. The positive part of the experience was the ability to travel next to the river. But the weary band knew that as soon as they reached the Red Buttes, another water crossing was imminent. No more happy about the crossing than the rest of the travelers, Fannie's thoughts returned to her near-drowning more than
a month earlier. On the wagon next to her, Katie sat, tense, her face drained of all color.

“Don't worry, sweetie,” she tried to assure her sister. “Blake says we're building rafts this time. We won't have to swim the oxen across. And just look.” She pointed at the beautiful red buttes directly across the river, the red rock even more pronounced by the sun beating down as it signaled its slow departure. “Soon we start heading over the mountains and after that we'll be in Oregon. But first we have to cross the river.” And travel another 1,000 miles. But there was no sense in bringing that up for now

“Are we getting ready to cross now?” Katie's voice shook with dread.

“No. We're going to make camp a little early and the men will get to work building some rafts. Then tomorrow we'll start making our way across. And then we'll either move right ahead the following day, or we'll stop to fortify the wagons and make sure they're strong enough to make it the rest of the way to Oregon.”

Katie swallowed hard and attempted a nod but she didn't look convinced.

Fannie gave her a playful nudge. “Smile, sweetie. Has God let anything bad happen to us since we escaped from Tom?”

She cleared her throat. “You almost drowned.”

Well, there was that. The child had a point. Still…“But I didn't, did I?”

“Becca died in the twister.” Okay, maybe this wasn't the best game to play to make Katie feel better.

“Yes, but that wasn't anything that happened to us.” Immediately Fannie regretted her words. That twister had definitely happened to her little sister. “I'm sorry, Katie. I know you miss Becca.”

She nodded. “It's okay.”

“But for the most part, God has kept us safe. Right?”

“What about Tom coming back for you, and Kip and me almost having to live with Mrs. Kane?”

Unable to refrain from expelling a frustrated breath, Fannie shrugged in defeat.

“I don't know, Katie. All those bad things happened. But we made it through. Maybe we shouldn't expect God to keep us from bad things, but pray that He gets us through them instead.”

Fannie fell silent. She had so much to learn about God, who was she to try to talk to Katie about what God would or wouldn't keep them safe from?

Thankfully, she was spared the necessity of returning to the no-win conversation by the sound of a bark. More like a bark and a squawk…lots of barking, lots of squawking.

Katie's eyes opened wider. “Uh-oh. Mr. Kane's puppy is going to be in big trouble this time.”

“Oh, brother. Just what Blake needs right now.”

 

Toni's heart went out to Mrs. Kane as Blake laid down the sentence. The puppy had to go.

Amanda Kane clutched her dog. “We can't just kill him.” Unaware of his precarious position, the animal wiggled to get loose.

Blake drew a slow breath and exhaled. “I'm sorry, Mrs. Kane. I know the dog means a lot to you, but the fact is, he's a menace to this wagon train.”

“But that's the first time he's gotten loose in two weeks.”

Mrs. Kane had a point. The animal had been astonishingly well-behaved lately.

“It don't make no matter.” The other voice of the argument. Curtis Adams. “That dog done kilt another of my chickens. If you don't shoot it, I'll kill it myself.”

Mr. Kane stepped forward with menacing intention. “You lay one hand on my dog and I won't be held responsible for what I do to ya.”

Blake held up his hands and silence ensued. “Listen folks. The matter is easily resolved.” He turned to Mr. and Mrs. Kane. “You've been warned time and again. The dog has to go. If you don't have the strength to take care of him, we'll find someone who does. There's no shame in it.”

A pitiful sob escaped Mrs. Kane's throat. “Haven't I suffered enough?” She knelt beside her half-grown puppy and buried her face in the course fur. The animal gave a little whine and swiped her face with his tongue.

“I like that dog.” All eyes turned to Alfred.

“Be quiet boy,” Mr. Harrison snapped.

“Sorry, Pa.”

“It's all right, Mr. Harrison. I like the dog too, Alfred,” Blake said. “But he got loose again and ate Mr. Adams' chickens.”

“It was my fault, Mr. Tanner.” Alfred shuffled and looked at the ground, then he cocked his eye toward his pa, clearly
trying to decide whether he should risk speaking up again. Apparently, he decided the situation called for a little disobedience, because he squared his thick shoulders and looked at the pup. “I let him go. He don't like being tied up.”

Toni's heart went out to the oversized child. He reminded her so much of her little brother, Jacob. Sweet, gentle with animals, kind to all. And really, she couldn't understand why the Adams' chickens couldn't be penned up better. Before she could stop herself, she stepped forward. “Blake. Can I say something?”

Irritation twisted Blake's face. “You might as well.”

Ignoring his sarcasm, Toni cleared her throat. “Alfred has a point.”

“Thank you, ma'am,” the boy said, though he obviously didn't understand what was happening.

“You're welcome.” She smiled at him and received an enormous grin in return.

“What are you getting at, Toni?” Blake asked, still failing to conceal his irritation.

“Well, it's just that. The puppy isn't solely to blame here.”

Curtis puffed up like a peacock, obviously believing her to be on his side and flattered by the attention. “I'd say not. That dimwit turned him loose.” He turned to Mr. Harrison. “You should keep that boy tied up.”

Toni gasped. “Mr. Adams, you're a cruel man to even suggest such a thing. Alfred is a sweet young man and he did nothing wrong.”

“Thank you, ma'am,” Alfred said again, melting Toni's heart.

“You're welcome, Alfred.”

“You're nice.”

“So are you.”

Blake cleared his throat. Loudly. “What is your point, Toni?”

“Just that if Mr. Adams had kept those chickens penned up like the rules of the wagon train clearly state, the dog wouldn't be running after them. There is nothing in the rules that say a dog has to be kept on a rope.” She smiled innocently. “Unless I missed that one somewhere?”

Behind her, Ginger snickered. Toni tensed.
Please God, don't let Ginger make this worse by mocking Blake.

Mr. Kane stood a little straighter. “Come to think of it, the whore's right.”

Toni's cheeks burned and suddenly she felt the urge to slink away.

Sam moved next to Toni just as she started to retreat. “Mr. Kane, considering this woman is trying to save your dog, I'd suggest using a little more respect.”

“Respect…?”

Ginger stepped forward. “Yeah. She already told you people she wasn't taking that off you any more.”

The girl jabbed Toni in the ribs. Toni winced, but she got the message. She couldn't let this man get away with this treatment of her. She squared her shoulders to bolster her resolve. “Yes. I told you before that I will not stand by and be called vile names by you or anyone else. So kindly remember that in the future. Furthermore, Mr. Kane, I'm not reminding Blake of the rules for your sake, but rather your wife's
because as she said…she's lost enough. She shouldn't have to lose her dog because Mr. Adams is lazy and won't fix his pen properly. Personally, I think we should butcher the rest of them and have fried chicken.”

Laughter rose from the crowd. The sound was more welcome to Toni than if they had hired a symphony to play in her honor.

“Toni is right,” Miss Sadie said. “That puppy is doing what comes natural to dogs. Mr. Adams should keep the chickens penned up properly and he might make it to Oregon with a few of them.” A few more folks spoke up and slowly, consensus shifted from killing the puppy to holding the Adamses responsible for their chickens. Even Mr. Harrison lost his surly expression and his face broke out in a grin.

Alfred patted the pup's head. “It's okay, Wolf, I like chicken too.”'

Once again laughter rose from the crowd.

Blake eyed Mr. Adams. “Looks like you know what has to be done. If the puppy gets hold of them because they get loose, it's your own fault. Keep them penned and in your wagon. Or we'll be having us some fried chicken like Toni suggested.”

Toni's stomach turned over as she recognized the look of pure venom shooting from Mr. Adams' eyes. “Never thought I'd see the day when a dirty whore called the shots around here. She ain't been nothin' but trouble since the day she and that little redheaded floozy joined.”

Blake sprang into action and landed a blow to the man's jaw. He would have joined him on the ground and finished
the job, but Sam got to him in time to grab his arm. “Blake! This isn't the way. The man is angry and humiliated. Let him cool off. He will apologize.”

Blake pointed at Mr. Adams, who still hadn't quite figured out what hit him. “Get that pen fixed and then join the detail making rafts. And don't let me ever hear you refer to my wife as anything other than the good respectable woman she is. Is that clear?”

The man sneered, but Sam gave him a swift nudge with his moccasin-bound foot. Mr. Adams visibly conceded. He nodded. “Clear.”

Sam reached down to help the man to his feet. Mr. Adams spat into the dirt and ignored the hand. “The day I need a breed's help is the day I put a bullet in my head.”

“Suit yourself.”

As Mr. Adams stomped toward his wagon, Toni expelled the breath she'd been holding throughout the entire exchange. Ginger stomped right up to Sam and frowned, her brows pushed together, causing a deep well between her eyes. “Why did you let him get by with talking to you that way?” she demanded.

Sam smiled at her, and Toni wondered if he was thinking the same thing. That only a couple of weeks ago, Ginger, herself had referred to him as “breed.” “If we only forgive those who ask for forgiveness, we're no better than those who don't know Jesus.”

Ginger rolled her eyes. “It's always about God with you, isn't it?”