Dissidence (9 page)

“How are you doing?” Lori asks me as I ease my aching body down onto Connor
’
s bunk for the second night in a row.

If it’s possible, I think I got even less work done today than yesterday. I woke up feeling like one giant bruise
,
and things only went downhill from there. I tried to refuse Connor’s offer of the use of his bunk again, but he insisted he would be sleeping on the floor whether or not I used the bed. Men can
be so thick-
headed sometimes.

“Fine.”

“Really?”
She arches an eyebrow
,
looking thoroughly unconvinced. Not surprising
,
since I’m not even convinced myself.

“I don’t know. I’m trying not to think about it
,
really.” If I contemplate my future here, day after day in that damn mine, I think my head may explode. I never thought I could
actually
miss my old job, but I do. Give me a register over a pick any day.

“Where are you from?”

“Colony D.”

“D? You’re not so far from home after all then.”

“I’m not?” It feels like another planet.

“No, D is only about a hundred miles east of here.”

So close to home
,
and yet
,
so far.
I can’t decide if that makes me feel better or worse.

“What about you? Where are you from, Lori?”

“Oh, I grew up in colony M, but that was a long, long time ago, Kiddo.”

“How did you end up here?”

The look on her face makes me regret asking almost before I finish getting the words out. What business is it of mine? She didn’t go prying into my indiscretions. Of course
,
we probably would have been here all night if she wanted a list of them.

“I was an apprentice in supplies. I was responsible for inventorying everything that came into the colony on the supply trains and making sure it was all dispersed to the right places. After a while
,
I started w
ondering where it all came from, w
here the train went when it left our colony.
Mostly
,
I was just a kid, curious about the outside world. They probably could have given me any answer
,
and I would have been satisfied, but when everyone refused to tell me anything at all
,
I started to get more suspicious. I even tried flirting with the guar
ds on the train for information.
T
he
guards
.
Boy
,
was I young and stupid. When I turned sixteen
,
I was paired and went to live in my mate’s colony
,
just like I was supposed to. He
turned out to be a forty-year-
old drunk with a real mean streak
,
liked pushing people around and starting trouble. A harsh punishment for all of my impertinent inquires over the years. Anyway, I didn’t trust him. I refused to marry him. Flat
-
out refused. They said they were taking me home
,
and we would each be re-paired. That’s not the way things work though, is it? Two days later
,
I was introduced to the camps. At least I finally got my answers
,
right?” She releases a pathetic laugh that makes me cringe. “Questions are dangerous, Kiddo. Don’t ask
‘
em
unless you’re sure you want the answers.”

A small part of me is amused to finally be able to tell Peter that I
do
know someone who didn’t marry the pe
rson they were paired with. T
hen again, it didn’t exactly end well for her
,
so I’m not sure whose point I would be making. The rest of me
is
completely disgusted by the entire story.
To use pairing as a punishment.
I
t’s appalling.

“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. I have a few choice words concerning the whole situation, but this is probably not the time and definitely not the place for them. Words have already gotten all of us into enough trouble.

“Everyone’s got a s
tory.” She sounds almost casual
. “Now get some sleep, Kiddo, tomorrow’s going to be another long day.”

***

They continue to roll on
,
one long day after another.
Two
straight weeks’ worth of them.
E
ach one exactly the same as the one before.
It’s almost mind numbing in its redundancy
,
and I think that’s the point
,
because if you don’t think about it, then you just accept things the way they are. Acceptance, however, has never been one of my strong suits. In fact, that’s sort of what landed me here in t
he first place. How ironic then
that it will also be what gets me out.

As days continue to tick by, I start watching the guards. I watch them all day, every day, every chance I get. I note their schedules, their routines, thei
r socializations, their habits—
all of it. After a few days, one thing starts to become abundantly clear. They’re way too comfortable in their own skins. For all of their weapons and patrols, none of them really believes for a second that anyone would be brazen enough to actually try and escape. And that peeves me to no end.

“I don’t understan
d why they’re so damn confident. I
t’s not like we’re all sticking around because of their A-plus personalities.”

“Maybe it’s the food. I
,
for one
,
would hate to turn my back on such fine cuisine.” Connor grimaces into his bowl of green mush that tastes somewhere between what I imagine earwax and paste taste like.

A very unladylike snort escapes me and Connor grins from ear to ear, clearly amused with his own comedic abilities.

“Somehow
,
I don’t think that’s it.” Lori dangles her spoon over her bowl and we all watch with rapt, morbid fascination as the green sludge drips off the tip and falls back into the dish with an audible plop. “I think the real deterrent they’re counting on to keep us in this place is . . . what would we do if we
did
get out? Where do we go then? It’s not like we’re rolling in options here.”

The three of us are sitting away from the others along an open edge of the pavilion in the dark shadows of the night. It’s always dark here. I
haven’t seen the sun in weeks. We’re
up
before it rises and working the mines until long after it sets. We don’t have much time left before the
guards
chase us back to the dorms for the night
,
and then any hope of privacy will be lost. Before that happens
,
I need to get Connor and Lori up to speed with a plan that’s begun to take root in my vitamin D deprived brain.

“We could disappear into the woods.”

“Okay, let’s say that doesn’t sound completely insane. When would you make this great escape? The dorms are locked
,
and
you
can’t be considering trying to sneak out of the mines while everyone’s down there working.”

“I’m not. I would go during mealtime.”

“Mealtime?”
That got her attention.

“It’s when we’re the leas
t guarded by far. Look around. W
hat’s to stop us from slipping away right now?
All we would need is a distraction.
”

“What kind of distraction?” I’ve got Connor’s attention too.

With a slight nod toward the back cor
ner of the pavilion, I indicate
the queen of Sheba, as I’ve come to call her. She’s the only fema
le guard positioned in the camp
and I’ve noticed all
of the others falling all over themselves to talk to her. Even now they’re
fawning over her.
Psssh
. . . men.

The guards monitor mealtimes on a rotating schedule, and I’ve seen her in here every third night. Good to know because I’m counting on her. Connor seems to catch my drift pretty quickly, but he’s just as quick to shake his head.

“
Girlie, even if
we
could make it out of the pavilion, how far do
you
think
we’ll
really make it with the patrols? And, that’s not mentioning the twenty foot fence that’ll basically skin
us
alive if
we
even think about climb
ing
it.”

“I’m not that dumb, Connor.”

“What then?
You
plannin
’
on
walk
in
’
right out the front gate?”

It’s not a bad
idea, but in all honesty, I have
n’t quite gotten that far in my
plans.

“I’m still working on the details.”

“
Details
?” he huffs. “Some pretty big
details
.
L
et me know when you have them figured out, Girlie.”

They both look disappointed w
ith my spotty
plan, but at least now I know they’re on board the crazy train with me.
There’s no way I can pull this off on my own.

***

I keep waiting
and watching
and listening. It’s that last one that ends up paying off. I’m eaves dropping on two guards as I make lame attempts to swing my pick. Now that I’m making at least a little progress on my own, Connor has agreed to
share the bunk with me,
taking turns instead of insisting I sleep in it every night like he did for the first few weeks.

“The kitchen’s been nearly empty for the past week. If the next supply train doesn’t get here soon
,
we’ll be eating what the workers eat,” one guard complains.

The second makes a disgusted face
,
and I can’t rea
lly blame him. “I
t’s a good thing the next train is coming in tomorrow night
,
then.”

“Will it be here by dinner time?”

“It’s scheduled around seven, so if you eat late, sure.”

“I’m not on grub duty tomorrow
,
so that works for me—
”

They move on down the tun
nel, but I’ve heard all I need
to hear. The supply train will be here tomorrow night at seven
p.m
. That’s meal time, and tomorrow everyone’s favorite little
female guard will be in the pavilion. Everything is falling into place. Another thing I’ve observed from my espionage efforts is that when deliveries arrive
,
they suddenly
g
et very lax with gate security—
t
oo many people moving too many things into the camp to bother locking it between every single load.
Gotta
love laziness.

***

The next day
,
I barely get any work done at all. Poor Connor is dripping sweat by the time we start making our way back outside. All I’ve been able to think about since I pitched my idea to Lori and Connor last night are the million and one things that could go wrong. It’s too late to turn back now
,
though. Stage one of my brilliant plan starts at dinner.

Part of me can’t wait to get things rolling, just so we can get it over with, but another pa
rt of me doesn’t want to take another
step closer to the dining hall. That part must be bigger beca
use I come to a sudden halt, and
Connor
slams into me from behind, which is
a little
like being hit by a locomotive.
I stumble forward and most definitely would have face planted in the dirt if he hadn’t grabbed my arm to steady me.

“It’s all right, Girlie.” His deep chuckle stabilizes me, and I take a deep breathe of the cool night air. “It’s just one foot in front of the other.”

That doesn’t sound too hard. He gives me a little push to get me moving again, which is good since I don’t think my feet are listening to my brain anymore, and we’re on our way.

Inside the pavilion, we take our food and
search out seats near the exit to wait for the right moment. I haven’t got the slightest clue what the ‘right moment’ will be, I just pray I’ll know it when I see it. What could possibly go wrong? We all agreed to finish eating before we leave because we’re not sure how long it will be before we see anything edible again. Not that what we’re eating now would necessarily qualify under the category of edible e
ither. Bowl, mouth, bowl, mouth—
j
ust keep my hand moving.  Feet,
now hand . . . baby steps.