Dirty Angel-BarbaraElsborg (14 page)

“I bet you never messed up.”

“Good thing you weren’t there the time I was taking a cow’s temperature and lost the thermometer up her arse. It just seemed to get sucked out of my fingers. I rolled up my sleeve and stuffed my arm inside her but I couldn’t find it. The tutor had to get it out.”

Henrik tsked. “You didn’t put that on your job application.”

“Nor did I put in that I once checked to see if a cow was pregnant by putting my hand in her vulva not her rectum. Took me a while to live that one down.”

Henrik laughed out loud. “You have to be a vet to get that’s wrong though. Rectal palpation to confirm pregnancy probably takes the cow by surprise as well.”

“True. Well, I never get it wrong now.”

“Maybe the cameras won’t bother you so much when they film this series.”

“Yeah.” It was probably too late now the first episode had aired.

“Who was that guy? You looked surprised to see him.”

“I thought he’d left. He saved Jamie when he fell off the roof of the barn. He was looking for work. Des must have found him something to do.” Brody stepped away from Henrik’s vehicle. “See you tomorrow.”

“Going to invite me in for a drink?”

Oh God.
“You’ve already had two glasses of champagne.”
Shit, that’s pathetic.

“I was thinking of coffee.

“I…”
Fucking man up and tell him.
“If that’s all you’re thinking of, fine. If not, it’s not a good idea. I don’t want to spoil things between us. If anything goes wrong, I’d have to look for another job and I like working for you…with you. You’re brilliant, Henrik. I feel lucky to work alongside you.”

“Why assume something will go wrong?”

“Because I know what I’m like. You deserve better.”

“Hell, Brody. Let me be the judge of that.” Henrik took a step toward him and Brody backed off.

Henrik exhaled.

Please just leave.

“You want to be knocked around?” Henrik’s voice had tightened. “Is that what turns you on?”

“Just go. Please.”

Henrik left without saying another word. Brody sagged. What choice did he have? It was easier to prevent anything starting than to stop it once it had begun. Fucking your boss could never end well. What happened when you got fed up of each other? What happened when Henrik turned out not to be what Brody needed? Shit, he already knew Henrik was not right for him. Brody had to keep this job, he needed the stability, needed Des and his family anchoring him. Though none of that had stopped him courting trouble.

He walked across to his cottage and glanced at the one next door. He’d had no idea Des had invited Aden to stay. Des was doing the right thing, as usual. The good brother. The one who gave up his dreams to make sure Brody attained his. Brody was grateful, of course he was, but it always felt as though he wasn’t grateful enough, as if he was disappointing Des and he hated that. He had to try harder to be the brother Des deserved. Brody pushed open his door, reminding himself that from now on he needed to lock it, in case Matt found him. Not in case. If Matt had seen the programme he would find him
.

Brody had felt Aden looking at him. Why had he stuck around?
Not because of me.
Des had offered him a place to stay, had probably fed him tonight. Brody took off his boots and coat and put them in the cloakroom. If Aden had asked to be invited in for a drink, what would his answer have been then? No question it would have been yes. He could hardly tear his gaze away from him when he was supposed to be watching himself on TV. The tingling in his gut, the ache in his stomach, the dryness of his mouth, all told him he wanted Aden.

He walked into the kitchen, and his gaze fell on the waste bin. Aden’s shirt was still in there. He pulled out the balled up material and held it up. The label said it was a Tom Ford. Expensive. It was heavily stained with blood. A lot of blood. Almost all of it on the back. There were no holes in the shirt but he couldn’t think of a way it could be anyone’s blood but Aden’s. Which meant Brody
had
injured him on the road, and landing on his back in that fall from the barn had probably done more damage. Why hadn’t Aden said?

Brody returned to the cloakroom, put on his boots, picked up his keys and locked the door as he left. A moment later he was knocking on Aden’s door, the shirt in his hand. When Aden opened it and smiled, Brody’s heart bounced on his stomach.
I want him.

“How badly injured are you?” Brody asked.

Aden looked at what Brody was holding, realized it was his shirt and sighed. He should have thought to take it with him instead of stuffing it in the bin.

“I’m fine.” When he reached for the shirt, Brody pulled it away.

“I need to talk to you.”

Aden stood aside. Brody removed his footwear just inside the door.

“Want a drink? Tea, coffee, water. All I’ve got, sorry.”

“No, I’m good.”

Aden headed down the hallway to the main room with Brody on his heels.

“I was surprised when I saw you tonight,” Brody said.

“Yeah, I noticed. Des said I could stay here for a week and work for him until guests arrive. I’d have been stupid to turn that down.”

Aden sat on the chair rather than the couch and lounged with his legs crossed at the ankle. He glanced at the shirt in Brody’s hand, then looked straight at Brody. “Not worth washing it.”

“A couple of hundred quid shirt isn’t worth washing?” Brody dropped onto the couch and put the shirt on the coffee table. “I hurt you when I hit you with my car.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“That’s covered in blood. Are you saying it’s not your blood?”

“No, it’s mine.”

“So what happened?”

“I had my wings ripped off.” His heart thumped. Was some thunderbolt going to strike him down? No.

“Alternatively?”

Of course Brody didn’t believe him. “I had a nose bleed. A bad one. I took my shirt off and held the back of it against my face. I had to put it back on. I didn’t have anything else to wear and figured no one would see it.”

That was a terrible lie. He needed a quick distraction. “Are you and Scandi-boy fucking?”

Brody started at the question, then smiled. “Scandi-boy?”

“Give him an axe and a beard and he’d look like some Viking warrior. Is he from Norway?”

“Yes, he’s from Norway, and no, we’re not fucking. I’m not interested in him like that.”

“But he is in you.”

Brody hesitated, then nodded.

“Why doesn’t he interest you?”

“He’s too…pleasant.”

“Ah, not a pillaging, plundering Viking warrior.” Aden gave a throaty chuckle. “You don’t like nice boys then?”

“I like you.” Brody stared straight at him.

The air in the room thickened to the point that it became hard to breathe.

Aden swallowed hard. “You want someone dangerous, someone you can’t trust? That’s not playing safe.”

“Who says I like to play safe?”

Aden looked at Brody’s fingers where they curled around the arm of the couch. Long fingers, short nails, strong hands.
Don’t think about what they could do, how they’d feel on your body, wrapped around your cock, touching your face.
Aden found his heart beginning to race. “Then that’s not very sensible of you.”

“I know, but I like bad boys.”

Aden was out of his depth already. He didn’t
do
talking. He fucked or didn’t fuck. He could guess what Brody wanted—rough sex, maybe slightly abusive sex where he got knocked around enough to turn him on. Aden could do that, but… There was that fucking
but
again.

“Are you dangerous?” Brody asked.

“Very. Not safe, not trustworthy, not a good guy, but I’m trying to be a better one.”

“Don’t.”

Aden laughed. His cock pushed against his zipper. The idea of messing around with Brody was fast turning into a firm plan. All he needed to do was get up, walk across the room and make it happen. But then, so did Brody and he looked glued to the couch, his fingers clenched tight. Aden wasn’t sure this guy knew what he wanted. Brody’s immobility told him that.

“What do you like?” Aden made sure he kept his tone quiet and even. “Are you into bondage? Like to be tied up? Have clamps fastened on your nipples? Or on your cock? Do you like to be played with? Whipped? Humiliated? Pissed on? Do you want to do that to others? Do you top, bottom, switch? Take poppers? Use other drugs? You have access to all sorts of stuff, don’t you? Ketamine for a start. Are you into threesomes? Orgies? Role play?” The corner of his mouth twitched. “Or do you simply prefer a bit of rough? Like to go trawling for guys who’ll knock you around, treat you like dirt because you don’t think you deserve any better?”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Brody snapped and gestured to his face. “I didn’t ask to—”

“Didn’t ask to what?”

“Nothing.” Brody ground his teeth so hard Aden heard them squeak.

He bristled at the thought of Brody being beaten up against his will. He’d assumed Brody had wanted those bruises and he shouldn’t have.

“I was mugged, okay? That’s how I got the marks on my face.”

But Brody’s gaze shifted slightly as he said that and Aden suspected he’d not heard the whole truth.

“Yeah, I like rough sex,” Brody said quietly. “The marks on my face could have come from that, but this time they didn’t.”

“Have you ever been hurt more than you wanted?”

Brody shifted on the couch, then nodded.

Oh shit, had he been raped?
“I’d never do that. I’m no angel but do have lines I won’t cross. Non-consensual stuff is not my thing.”

“Nor mine,” Brody whispered.

Aden didn’t miss the pain in his face. “Maybe you need someone to show you the right way to play.”

Brody sucked in his cheeks. “And that guy’s you?”

Aden shook his head. “No. I need showing the better way myself. You think you’ve been hurt? Well, I could hurt you more without meaning to.” He leaned forward. “You want gentle? That’s not me. Looking for love? Hell, I don’t know what the fuck that is. I never had it as a kid. Nor as an adult. Then again, maybe that’s exactly what I’m looking for. Maybe love could save me, stop me falling.”

“The right love can.”

“But how to find it? To be honest, I suspect it’s too late for me. I’m already sliding rapidly downhill to hell. I’m damned. I can’t change fate.”
Can I?

Aden leaned back feeling uncomfortable, regretting saying some of that,
all
of that.
What the hell’s got into me?
Plus wasn’t that what he was trying to do? Change fate?

“Fate.” Brody huffed. “So fate meant instead of meeting a guy online or in a club or on Grindr, I was destined to knock you over with my car close to where I live, so that you’d seek shelter at my brother’s farm and be here when Jamie fell off the roof, and my brother would offer you work and a place to stay and you’d end up living next door to me. That sort of fate?”

“I was thinking more in terms of being the guy I’ve been destined to be, that maybe there’s some things that can’t be changed.”

“We can all change.”

Aden raised his eyebrows. “You think?”

“Yes, otherwise what’s the point? Life’s one long lesson. We keep trying to change. We never stop learning. We adapt, we evolve.”

So why didn’t Aden quite believe him? “You’re saying you’ve changed?”

“I want my life to be different. I want to be…normal.”

“Normal? That’s boring.”

“I mean not fucked up. That’s why I’m here in Surrey living in a cottage belonging to my brother. This is my new start.”

“But a few days ago you were beaten up, were…” Aden left the blank for him to fill in.

“Mugged,” Brody snapped. “I was careless, didn’t keep my wits about me, took a short cut I shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t alter the fact that I want my life to change for the better. I want to be happy. I want to enjoy things. I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder worrying. I want to live.”
Aden frowned. What the fuck had happened to Brody? They’d moved away from talking about sexual preferences to something entirely different.

“Don’t you want a better life?” Brody asked.

Aden didn’t answer.

“Are you really doing this survival thing for a month to get a job?”

“My future is riding on it.” Which wasn’t a lie.

Brody locked gazes with him. “Have you just come out of prison?”

Aden raised his eyebrows. “No. I’ve never been in prison, but if we’re being honest here, that’s only because I’ve never been caught.”

“What have you done?”

“You name it, I’ve done it.” Aden crossed his ankles the other way. “I told you I was dangerous.”

“That should be putting me off, but it isn’t.”

Aden’s cock pulsed.

What the hell am I doing?

I want him to go.

I need him to stay.

“I know why you’re here,” Aden said.

“I’m still waiting for that cup of sugar.”

Aden laughed.

Brody stared at him.

“We could fuck,” Aden said. “But…”

“What’s the but?”

“Despite my claim to be a bad guy, I find I care whether or not I hurt you.”

“I thought you’d already figured out I was someone who liked to be hurt.”

Aden shook his head. “I don’t think you’ve figured out what you want. You’ve told me you’re not happy. The Brody on the TV is not the guy who’s sitting opposite me now. At work you come off as cheerful, secure, confident. Your eyes shine. You’re a good guy. I don’t see that here. No happiness, no confidence.” He frowned. “I’m not sure I understand you.”

“I’m not surprised. I don’t understand myself. You’re right. I’m not feeling confident at all. I know I shouldn’t trust you. You don’t need to tell me that, but you interest me more than you can know.”

“I’m nothing. I’ve done nothing and I’m going nowhere. A waste of oxygen.”

“No, you’re not. What do you do for a living? What did you do before this…prolonged job interview?”

“Mended things. Cars mostly. Maybe Des’s tractor tomorrow, if I can.”

“I mend animals. You repair engines. And we’re both crap with people.”

Aden smiled. “I am, you’re not. You know how to talk to people. You were really good with your clients. You cared and they could see that. They respected you.”