Dionysus (Greek God Romance Book 1) (21 page)

Today, was the lovely day that she had been waiting for. She had picked out the animal she would see through. An obedient chimpanzee she had been training in the pool house for the past week.

She saw the sun peak over the horizon and smiled at her new servant.

“It is time.”

The chimpanzee squeaked and ran off. 

BANANA, BANANA, BANANA, BANANA, BANANA

There are a plethora of reasons why Hera kept her power a secret. The most important reason was that she was not within her own body. Her mind was within an animal’s, and therefore, her body was vulnerable to any attack. If any of her enemies knew this, she could be trapped somewhere, forever.

She was not wrong. Many would openly salivate to this knowledge.

She ran over to Hecate’s shack while Hecate escorted Persephone to her mother.

Another issue that came with occupying a creature’s body and mind was their own body and mind. The monkey, being of the more intelligent variety, grappled against her will, wanting to veer off and explore flowers, rip them apart and throw them around. She was also hungry, very much so, and kept with an incessant monotone,
“banana, banana, banana, banana, banana.”

Hera may never admit it to herself. But part of her despising everyone on Olympus, and
especially
the children of Zeus’ infidelity, was that
all
of their powers—she felt—were superior to her own. It drove her mad to have children that were perceived to be superior to her. And so, she always looked to show her own superiority through cunning maneuvers.

She steered the monkey back towards the shack, losing control for only an instant. She had it walk up the stairs then test the barrier by pawing with a hand.
Nothing.
A toothy grin came over the monkey as she twirled in delight.

She entered the shack.

It was bigger on the inside.

A few mortals had made it inside Olympus and back. Most had actually come through this garden because of its good nature, the ones who entered and were shown favor by either Hecate or Demeter made it back home with an absurd tale no one believed. Part of one mortal’s tale is delivered on a television series,
Doctor Who
, where the key component to the Doctor’s spaceship is that it is bigger on the inside. The creator of said show had been the first mortal to walk inside Hecate’s shack and live.

No Olympians knew of this magic, only the old gods and goddesses and they kept it to themselves. They found the Olympians squabbling and behavior to be that of overprivileged children. . . and they were not about to hand over the keys to the Porsche.

Hera, the monkey, panned around, seeing a magical place with high ceilings and shelves upon shelves. There was a desk in the middle with a pen and blank paper.

Seeing the enormity of the library did not deter Hera, it simply convinced her that the pen and blank paper had something to do with it. She could not imagine Hecate could find every book in here. The library spiraled up, at the very least, fifty feet high.

What Hera did not know was that the library continuously expanded as you went higher. The actual size of the library was unknown, to even Hecate, herself.

She grabbed the pen. The monkey side of her intrigued, wanted to bash it into the paper. Hera fought this urge and a standstill occurred while the pen shook. She won after a few minutes, writing down:

The bonds that hold the Minotaur

A book appeared on top of the parchment and just like that, Hera had what she needed. She guided the monkey out of the shack, out of the garden, and out of Olympus.

SON OF A BITCH. . .

Hades did not travel with Persephone when she met with Hecate and subsequently Demeter, her mother. And before The Old Watering Hole opened its doors at night, he would sometimes not even show up to the surface and stay down in the Underworld until Persephone returned. His excuse was that the Underworld could not run without him. In the early days, this was true to a degree but. . . still very functional without him—this was not Egyptian afterlife, after all. He latched onto this excuse, hoping it would last until the end of time, but knowing that the end was much sooner.

Demeter is quite lovely to everyone not named Hades. He had never been good enough for Persephone, and also he lacked a certain natural beauty that Demeter cherished. Hecate was also intolerable for the fact that she had planned to have Persephone learn much of her lore—in case anything were to happen to her. And this was dramatically hampered by Persephone being Hades’ wife. Another reason for Hecate and Demeter to scorn the lanky, tall husband of hers.

This all cultivated into an atmosphere that Hades despised. He lived through it once and vowed never again. Persephone being the wonderful woman she was, never hounded him again, either.

Hades appeared at the bar this time with his undead chariot, skeleton horses with flaming eyes plowing through the doors of The Old Watering Hole and rearing up to the bar counter.

Hades grinned over the side. He asked, “Where’s Dionysus?”

Rebecca beckoned him with her head, tilting it to a seat. “Sit.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He jumped from his chariot that reared back and flew out of the bar as the doors blew back, as if someone had hit the rewind button.

“What will you have?”

He threw his hands up. “One of your delightful cocktails everyone can’t get enough off.”

“Sure thing.”

She went on, whipping up a piña colada. She laughed to herself that as the night waned on, everyone seemed convinced that she was giving them different cocktails. It had always been the same piña colada, Rebecca being slightly afraid of a “monster” revolution if she changed it up.

She presented the creation. He said, “Looks delightful.”

“Tastes sugary.”

“Oh, I love sugar.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “The great thing about being a god is that I can have whatever the hell I want and there is minimal repercussions. No diabetes. No insulin shots. No potbelly. I once ate five pounds of sugar. I felt. . . about the same, a bit of a stomach ache.” He grinned devilishly, laughed then sipped on his drink. “Wonderful.”

“You’re always a delight, Hades.”

“This is only my second time. So. . .? Going to fill me in?”

“He hasn’t?”

Hades shook his head. “No godly visitors to the Underworld. What happened? What did he do?”

“Not taking your family’s side?”

He slapped the counter, a boisterous laugh ricocheting off the dreary mirror. “Have you met my family? Of course, I wouldn’t. A good rule of thumb is to always side with whoever is against them. . . Just don’t tell them about it.”

“He’s still hung up.”

He said with a rare mixture of shock, awe and disappointment, “Ariadne?”

Rebecca nodded.

“Son of a bitch. . .”

“Wants me to play second fiddle.”

Hades stared back, hunching over the counter. “Rebecca, you’re no one’s second fiddle.” He spread his hands around. “The one who created all of this.” He pointed up at the roof. “All that lies above. . . If that homeboy or homegirl came down here, they’d be second fiddle to you.”

She smiled. “How lovely.”

“Of course, my wife is my first fiddle.”

“Of course—”

“Well, this is disappointing. She’ll be here soon. We were expecting—”

Rebecca glanced to the side. “I know.”

He sighed and took another sip. “Whoa. . . that’s sugary.” He did a full body shiver. “Brrrrr. . . that second time around,
wabam,
sugar!”

“I thought you ate five pounds of sugar?”

He glanced to the side then held his hand to his face. “A lie to keep my exploits godly.”

“Right.”

The door blew open for the second time of the night and in came Persephone, a gorgeous blonde with a stern look and a walk that make men quiver in their seats. To Rebecca, she was the epitome of one badass chick. She wore a bandana around her head, a black vest, hiking boots and a piece of wheat straw that hung from her mouth. She could tell they were about the same height but carried themselves much differently.

She took up a seat next to Hades and moved her cheek towards him. He kissed her. “Good boy.”

He nodded. “I do as told.”

She saw the love between them, those eyes for each other. It reminded her of Dionysus, and she bit back a frown. Rebecca forced a smile and asked, “What will you have?”

“A grain alcohol.”

“Spiritus?”

“How fantastic.” She smiled at Hades. “I like her already.”

“I told you.”

“Yeah, that’ll do.”

Rebecca poured a shot, straight, no rocks. “You look like the kind of gal that doesn’t want it sugar coated.”

Persephone chuckled. “Hades is the lover of all the sugariness.”

Hades said, “You see everyone has it mistaken. She cracks the whip. I mumble.”

“Damn straight.” Persephone nodded and pitched the shot down her gullet. “Another.”

“Damn, girl.”

She grinned in reply.

Rebecca poured another shot. This time, Persephone swirled it around and sipped. “Where’s Dionysus?”

Hades replied, “Being stupid.”

“Ah. . .”

“What did he do?”

Rebecca answered, “He—”

Persephone held up her hand. “Never mind, it’s that one bird, Ariadne?”

Rebecca sighed. “Yes. . . Does everyone know?”

Persephone frowned. “When it comes to her, everyone knows he is a fool. He’ll lie about it. Say he’s done. Blah. Blah. Blah. Same old shit, the boy thinks he’s a god and it all should’ve worked out. That it only didn’t because of Hera.”

Hades said, “Damn fool.”

“Indeed. Rebecca, you ever get hung up?”

“On a boy? No.”

“Oh, on a girl?”

Rebecca blushed and shook her head, remembering her conversation with Artemis. “No. . . I liked Dionysus, though.”

Persephone stabbed, “You loved him.”

Rebecca turned redder, mumbling and muttering, barely audible she said, “I—I—I did—”

“He’s got charm, don’t worry about it. He just needs a kick in the ass.”

Hades said, “One?”

“Maybe two.”

Hades said, “Most on Olympus need more than a dozen.”

“Mother wants to see you.”

Hades groaned. “
That
woman.”

“Remember?”

“Yes. Yes. Next year.”

“That’s what you said this year.”

“And that’s what I’ll say next year.”

Persephone bit her lip. “All right.”

Rebecca joined in, “Your mother a bit difficult?”

“My mother is absolutely lovely to everyone except Hades.”

“The Underworld thing?”

Hades answered, “That and my pasty complexion.”

“And your manners.”

“Oh, she hates my manners.”

“And your brothers.”

“No one likes my brothers.”

“And your jokes.”

“My jokes?”

“She despises your jokes.”

“No. No. No.” He shook his head, his voice filled with dismay. “How can this be? I thought—”

“She tolerates for me.”

“Tolerates?”

Persephone frowned and nodded. “Yes, she claims that she is tolerating.”

“You call
that
tolerating?”

“It would appear so.”

“And if I changed in her presence?”

Persephone said, “She claimed on this last visit that she would be different if it weren’t for your behavior.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then next year, I will come. I will be exactly what she wants a son-in-law to be. I will show her.”

Persephone grabbed her glass and cheers to Rebecca. Rebecca returned the gesture with a wicked grin of her own.

And that ladies. . . Is how you get the man to do what you want him to do.

THERE’S, THE OLD BOY

Before Persephone and Hades made their trip back to the Underworld, they deemed it of the highest importance to find Dionysus and yell at him. To Dionysus’ dismay, this was a reoccurring theme.

He had been hiding out in a forest near Olympus. The “hiding” part had done him no good as anyone who knew Rebecca came to scold him: the gorgon sisters, Cyclops, nymphs, a rowdy dwarf, a few satyrs who yelled, “shame,” then fell onto the grass from drunkenness. Everyone came. It was no surprise. Silenus had been entrusted with the location after some incessant whining on his part. And unfortunately for Dionysus, Silenus could never keep a secret when one dangled an alcoholic beverage as the reward. He would also routinely come into this patch of the forest to ask for forgiveness.