Dionysus (Greek God Romance Book 1) (17 page)

“The beginning.” Rebecca still groggy, took the shot and poured another. Her brain was taking a moment to process everything; and therefore, she wanted Artemis to talk. Artemis stared at her. Rebecca spoke after seeing her plan vanish, “I know it didn’t work for Steve Carell’s character but. . . I think you need to have sex with a drunk man.”

“He was looking for a drunk woman.”

“Do you want a drunk woman?”

“I like the opposite sex. Although. . . I haven’t tried women, either”—she shrugged—“I suppose, I should.”

Rebecca licked her lips and smiled. “I suppose so.”

Artemis gave her an appreciative glance which turned into a suspicious look. “Should. . . we?”

“No. No. No.” Rebecca vehemently shook her head and felt her brain rattle the words.
Too early. Bed.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I experimented a few years back. That’s all I needed to know.”

“Okay. Where do I begin?”

“You need to get the hell out of here.”

“That’s a given.”

“Do you care what the man looks like?”

“I want him to be burly.”

“Burly?” She said it as if distrusting the word. She had forgotten that Artemis was a goddess; and although, her stature suggests a frail interior, Artemis was anything but fragile.

Artemis missed the implication. “Yes, burly, strong and bulky.”

Rebecca raised her finger in the air, pointing to the sky, an idea had come along. “College town. You have to go to a college town.”

“College town?”

“Like Champagne, Illinois, there will be many a frat boy who meet your requirements.”

“I don’t want them to remember.”

Rebecca snorted. “They’re lucky to remember their names on most nights.”

“Really?”

Artemis’ voice was so sincere that Rebecca frowned then shied away and looked at the bottle of vodka. “They don’t have much for brains.”

“Good.” She stood up. “I shall venture to Champagne, Illinois.”

“Good,” Rebecca said, rising up as well to show Artemis to the door.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“What will I say?”

Rebecca chuckled. “That part’s
really
easy.”

Artemis raised her eyebrows.

“Pick the drunkest guy that meets your requirements at the bar, and say you’ll spend the night with him.”

“If he has a woman with him, should I kill her to show my seriousness?”

A look of shock and perplexity caked Rebecca’s face. “No,” she said flatly, “go for one that has men around him and no women.”

“What if he has a woman at home?”

Rebecca scoffed. “I’m sure. . . A man like that, uh, he will find a way to make it work.”

“Very well, I will see you when my virginity is lost.”

“Fantastic.”

“Great.”

Artemis was inches from the door when she turned around. “Wait.”

“What?”

“Will I need to perform oral pleasure?”

Rebecca tried to keep a straight face which looked like a puppeteer pulling at various points of her lips and face, making them ripple and producing an authentically insane look. “I—mmm—”
Deep breath,
she said to herself. “No, your job will be to let him take you to whatever his place is and spread ’em.”

“Got it.”

Rebecca opened the door and as Artemis stepped outside, she turned once more. “What about anal reciprocation?”

Rebecca yelled, “No butt stuff!” She closed the door, let out a laugh, put her hand over her mouth then toppled over in the kitchen, laughing.

Artemis laughed. She heard Rebecca and had said the last thing as a joke.

HELLO, HERA. HELLO, ZEUS.

Rebecca drew up a list of excuses for various run-ins with Zeus and Hera. Dionysus found none of them to be acceptable—only because of his severe trepidation of Hera finding out that they were together. Rebecca tabled it for a week then broached the subject again. She finally won, having pointed out that Hera would probably convince herself that they
were
a couple if she never saw them out together, debunking their story that Dionysus had been her guide. Dionysus thought this
also
could be rebutted by the simple fact that they would have to come up with another excuse, that at it’s best, would still arouse Hera’s suspicion. Upon some inner conflict, he realized that not only was he over-thinking the situation but that either way, Hera’s suspicion would rise. And like so many men, he bent to his woman’s will.

They went on a few walks, varying their times and routes to not “bump” into Hera and Zeus. Dionysus asked around town about the times Hera and Zeus went out but received no straight answers, of course. Zeus’ wrath could be quite harsh and none wanted that. But more so, Hera’s was wicked, and there was no one in Olympus who wished to have her sights set on them.

Rebecca and Dionysus were traveling down one of their varied routes that took them out of the center Zeus Boulevard and into the outside road which was perpendicular to the gas station. Rebecca meant to stop by Hermes Gas Station, have a chat with her favorite ex-reality TV junkie and pick up some Ambrosia Bars—which had become her hangover cure. They were about to cross the street when Hera and Zeus rounded the corner. Rebecca could hear Zeus’ grumbling. Dionysus could hear Hera’s scolding.

Dionysus mouthed the words, “Ah hell.” He walked towards them, beckoning Rebecca to follow. She mouthed the word, “Why?” But received no response besides a head jerk in their direction, she begrudgingly followed.

“Hello, Hera. Hello, Zeus.”

“Well. . . Well. . .” Zeus said, making a fist and putting each arm on his respective hip. He looked much like a dad when Rebecca saw this, about to scold his children for being out too late, eating too much junk food, finding a stash of pot, a hard drive of porn, or any other of the many things children, teenagers and young adults get reprimanded for. “I haven’t seen you in ages.” He looked at Rebecca, ignoring Dionysus. This made her start a laugh which had Dionysus whip his head towards her, his eyes turning a purplish-red of anguish; and upon seeing this, Rebecca turned the laugh into clearing her throat and bowed her head towards the floor. “Hello, Hera. Hello, Zeus,” she finally said.

“Where have
you
been hiding, young lady?”

Rebecca looked up, her mouth hung slightly agape.
He actually said that?
The confirmation was the stare Hera gunned towards her which had her take a step back. If Dionysus weren’t frightened enough for the both of them where Hera was regarded, Rebecca had half a mind to join him. Rebecca thought she would disintegrate from the invisible laser beams Hera was shooting at her.

Rebecca said, “Still at the bar. . .”

Dionysus interrupted, “What brings you two to this side of town?”

Hera stepped up, taking much of the same pose Zeus had. Hers, however, was much more formidable. “
Excuse you?”

“Oh, honey, he’s just—”

“Quiet.”

Rebecca could hear the wind slowly breath from the silence that surrounded them. This time, Zeus looked at Hera with pure disgust. He took a deep breath then said, “Don’t tell us to be quiet if you’re not going to say anything.”

Rebecca was careful to not dart an eye any which way, electing to stare at the ground again, seeing ants scurry in a crack.
I feel the same way.

Hera cleared her throat this time and Rebecca looked up. She put on a forced smile—one that fooled no one. “What brings the two of you out here?”

Dionysus said, “Well—”

“Dionysus is going to show me the entrance to the Underworld.”

Rebecca had not known why she felt going to Hermes’ Gas Station would be insufficient in Hera’s eyes, but she had. This excuse had not been a part of the list that Dionysus had torn up a few weeks ago, but she recalled the sign listing the Underworld in the direction of Hermes’ Gas Station and blurted it out spontaneously.

Dionysus agreed, nodding his head. “Right.”

“Right?” Hera asked.

He nodded once more like a bobblehead. Rebecca shook her head at him. He was falling apart. She said, “Yes, he is one of the few gods to have gone there before, correct?”

Zeus stepped in front of Hera now, nodding and saying, “He has but. . . I
can
go anywhere.”

Rebecca blinked uncontrollably.
Right in front of her? No shame at all.

Many on Olympus and on Earth thought the same thing. Did Zeus have any shame? One mortal once asked the question. He was zapped and burned to the crisp before Zeus replied, “Everyone is a shame on to me.” Whatever that meant. . .

Hera stepped in front of him. This game could not go on much longer. Both, Zeus and Hera were getting precariously close to Rebecca and Dionysus’ personal space. “What did you want to see?”

“I’ve always liked to venture to the places I hear about, especially when they are so close. For instance, a few I’ve seen are the Great Pyramid of Giza, Colossus of Rhodes and Stonehenge. . . The Underworld is an ancient gateway, from what I’ve been told, and while the list of things I’ve seen many have. . . I doubt few humans have seen the entrance to the Underworld and live.”

Dionysus nodded like a mad man. Rebecca shot him another look, and he stopped nodding, wiping the silly grin off his face.

They were lucky, in that, Hera was dissecting what Rebecca had told her. She doubted the mortal had seen these places but could not argue it. Hera observed what Rebecca said to be immortal—as the gods and goddesses of Olympus say, rather than, bulletproof—making her all the more suspicious. She would have a follower tail them to see if they did go to the Underworld.

After nothing was said for some time by both parties, Rebecca said, “We’ll we better head off. I don’t want to be there when it’s dark.”

Zeus stepped in front of Hera, now his face was mere feet from Rebecca’s. “Would you like some light? I can arrange that the sky is on fire for a few hours past sunset.”

Hera grabbed his arm and dragged him away, saying not another word, no good-byes. Zeus mumbled and groaned and had some pointed words, obscene gestures and fiery curses as he was taken away like a child from the new toy he has yet to play with.

Dionysus and Rebecca waited, not moving, staring at Zeus and Hera as they left.

Dionysus waited a few more minutes then said, “Phew. Nice save.”

“Good?”

“Excellent.”

“I thought Hermes’ Gas Station may not suffice. I don’t know why.”

“It would not have. She wouldn’t understand why you didn’t just call Hestia or have Hermes with you.”

“Ah, I knew my head worked in mysterious ways.”

“Yeah—”

“You were terrible back there.”

“I was?”

“You looked insane.”

“She thinks that I’m insane.”

“Not
that
insane.”

“Well. . . We need to take a break and have her catch us one more time after visiting the entrance to the Underworld today.”

“She’ll follow?”

“She’ll have a follower do so.”

“Right. Wait, one more time?”

He grinned. “I may have looked crazy or whatever but they’re attention was solely on you. You give one more airtight reason like that. . . she’ll be suspicious but she won’t act.”

She sighed. “Don’t we want her to act?”

“What?”

“I’m tired of this. Let’s say you’re right. What happens then?”

“We buy us some time.”

“Until what?”

“Until we buy ourselves some more time.”

“Can’t work forever.”

“You’d be surprised.”

She sighed. “Fine.” It was not worth arguing about. He would not relent. To Rebecca, he was
absolutely
insufferable and schizo when it came to her. She gestured with her hand. “Lead the way.”

IT WAS ARIADNE

A month or so had gone by. It was a month to be exact but Rebecca had lost track of time. She had not thought about it until this particular moment. There were no calendars or clocks anywhere. She surmised that keeping time was a useless exercise for immortals. It was useless in that sense but there was a disconnect there. It was why Olympus never changed with the times; it had no idea what
time
it was. A town stuck in a snow globe, never to change, while everything steadily changed around it.

They resumed venturing out again. This time, however, Rebecca thought it was a bad idea. She had seen Dionysus comatose state with Hera around where he was nothing but a mumbling, incompetent fool. They had been lucky when all the attention was drawn to her.
But would we be so lucky again?
She knew the answer, knew what fate had in-store for her; and yet, as many have walked the plank knowing what lies beneath, she followed her man knowing that when it came to Hera she had to relent.