Die For You: Catastrophe Series, Book 1 (21 page)

“Move, baby, slowly,” Adam gritted out. “Take us.”

She ran her hands across Adam’s muscled abdomen and tried to move, but she found it difficult. Trevor withdrew almost all the way out, then rammed back in. She cried out as exquisite sensation blasted through her. Adam’s hips jerked up.

“We’ll do the work,” Adam said. One of Trevor’s hands moved to her hip. The two of them set the pace, working in unison, powerful thrusts blowing her mind.

“I want to feel you come, squeeze me so tight,” Adam said.

Trevor bucked against her, seeming close to release. Adam shuddered underneath. She ground wildly between them, unable to stay still, reaching, so close… The men exploded, their hips jerking. She screamed as the orgasm crashed through, pussy clenching, her stomach tightening.

Adam watched her face, felt her melt around him as she came. He wrapped his arms around her as she fell against him and caught her breath. Finally, finally, he’d had what he wanted. With Rachel. She’d given this moment to him, let him experience his fantasy, and he knew there would be more of this in their future. And the best part? It was her fantasy too. She’d been invested, involved, not faking a moment of this just to please him. It wasn’t an act.

She’d kept her eyes riveted on him the whole time. Rachel knew who her master was.

Damn, he could love this woman.

Fear reached inside his chest and clawed at his heart.

Love, the four-letter word he’d vowed to forget, confronted him in that moment, challenging him to try again. He buried his lips in Rachel’s neck, breathing in her scent, contentment flooding his system, and wondered if he could trust this woman. Life had battered him, left him broken and suspicious. Could he open his heart? Take down the barriers of betrayal he’d felt before and let her in? He took a deep breath, tightened his arms around Rachel. He’d seen the look in her eyes as she’d come. She loved him.
Dammit.
Could he give that back to her in return?

He wasn’t sure.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Two months later

“Rachel.” The single word vibrated throughout the house, sending anxiety straight up Rachel’s spine. “Where are you? I know you’re inside,” a man yelled from the first floor. Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs.

Christian.

Rachel groaned. The window of her second-story bedroom, glowing with early morning light, suddenly looked like an appropriate escape route.

“Rachel?” Christian clipped. He stood in the doorway to the room she shared with Adam. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Rachel glanced furtively at the pregnancy test she’d placed on the counter next to the sink. She stepped out of the master bath and shut the door behind her, throwing a sharp glance at the clock on the wall.
I don’t have time for this!
Three minutes and the test would be ready. How was she going to get him the hell out of her room?

“Rachel? Are you listening?”

“Hmm? Yes. Yes, I’m listening.” Nervous, jittery and about to have a freaking heart attack over the fact that she might be pregnant.
Pregnant
. The last thing she needed this morning was another lecture from Christian on energy conservation. Jeez. He seemed to get annoyed at her all the time lately, over the tiniest things.

“Did you turn on the generator last night?”

Rachel tensed, her whole body going stiff.
Here we go again.
What was this, an episode of
Law and Order
? She opened her mouth and snapped it closed, internally pleading the fifth and choosing not to answer.

“I checked the gas level in the generator from last night against this morning and it’s decreased, substantially,” he said.

“So what does that have to do with me?”

“How did that happen overnight? When everything was supposedly turned off?”

She threw her hands up. “How would I know?”

“You know, because you were the last person to turn it on.”

“I was?” She glanced at the clock, then back at him. “Wait. You actually check it? Monitor it?” Not that this should surprise her. After all, he’d timed her showers, why wouldn’t he check this too?

Lines creased his forehead. “Of course I do. Someone has to know how much gas we have. But lately, I can’t figure out how we’re ending up with less gas than I’d rationed.”

“Oh.” Her mind drifted, she looked away, unable to concentrate on what he was saying. They’d all been living together in peace these last two months. Adam continued to invite Trevor into their bed occasionally for explosive bouts of passionate, mind- blowing sex. But a week ago, she’d tried to button her pants and realized they were tight around the waist. She knew, for once, the cause wasn’t overeating. Plus, she’d thrown up twice this week, and she hadn’t had a period since before she met Adam. The signs were all there. Despite the deep denial she’d been living in, even she could not avoid something so obvious. So yesterday, she’d snuck a pregnancy test into her backpack from the pharmacy she and the men had been scouting while scavenging for supplies. She needed to find out first, by herself, then figure out what to do. What if she were pregnant? The nervousness churned in her stomach. In a world without doctors. Having a baby in this new life meant no prenatal care. No baby showers. No Mom. No friends. No epidurals. No pediatricians. Having a baby now wouldn’t be the same as it was a few months ago when there were doctors. There was nothing left…

She glanced up. Christian stared at her impatiently.

“Maybe it was Adam or Trevor,” she offered.

“No.”

She blew out a breath. “Okay, it’s me. Is that what you wanted to hear? I did it, I turned it on.” She held out both of her wrists. “Go ahead, handcuff me, drag me off to jail.”

His shoulders slumped, and he responded in a quiet, serious tone. “Why? Why would you do something like that?”

“God, you make it sound like I broke into a blood bank or something. I just turned on the air conditioner. It’s not a big deal.”

He stepped closer, clenching his fists. “Yes, it is. It is a big deal. How many hours was the generator left running? You’re not the one who has to go get more fuel.”

He started lecturing, and she checked out. She plopped onto the edge of the bed and glanced at the bathroom door, then the clock again. The pregnancy test was ready. If only he’d stop nagging at her and go back outside, she could check the test in the privacy of her room. Alone.

“Rachel?” Christian snapped. “Are you listening to me?”

She’d heard all this before. “Yes.” She sighed. “I’m listening.”

“I’m saying that all three of us think it’s wrong to have the air on at night. The other two probably aren’t as firm about it as I am, but they feel the same way. Trevor and I don’t run the air at night in the bus or at the apartment to conserve energy.”

“What?” They weren’t? Adam knew she was sneaking off, sweaty and desperate, to start up the generator and turn on the air at night. They never talked about it, but he always pulled her in close after she returned, the rumble of the air conditioner finally allowing them both to fall asleep during the hottest part of the night. Summer in the valley was kicking her ass. She hated it.

She opened her mouth to throw back a retort, but the door banged open and Adam suddenly marched into the bedroom—Trevor right behind him. “Don’t get up. I forgot something,” Adam announced with a hand up.

Oh no. No. No. No! Adam couldn’t be here too. Not now. This could not be happening. What was this? A convention? Why were they all here at once? There were never here at this time in the morning. She usually always had the main house to herself right now.

She had really wanted to find out by herself. Have a moment to collect her thoughts before telling Adam. Because she was scared. Scared out of her mind at the thought of bringing a child into this empty world. This was why they used condoms. Trevor and Adam had agreed that now wasn’t the time to risk pregnancy. Not when their life consisted of Adam’s daily checks for radiation levels, his constant radio broadcasts to find more survivors and their worries about what those people could be like. They were still finding clues that they were being watched. What if the survivors they found were more
Mad Max
than United Nations?

This wasn’t her old life, full of first-world problems and highly trained doctors. She’d always dreamed of having kids, of starting a family. Living on a planet without children would be heartbreaking. So she should be thrilled to be pregnant. Except the four of them might have created a bubble of normalcy here at the farm, but the rest of the world remained deadly and uncertain. And she was terrified to bring a baby into this existence where she couldn’t guarantee its safety.

Terrified.

Adam must have sensed the strained silence in the air because he broke stride and stopped. His eyebrows rose. “Did I miss something?”

“We’re having a discussion.” Christian smiled ruefully. “About conserving energy and the proper times to turn on the air conditioner.”

Trevor smirked, crossed his arms and leaned back against the door jam. “Sounds like fun. Feel free to keep talking as soon as we leave.”

“Huh,” Adam grunted, his eyes darting between the two of them, his lips twitching. She didn’t know what to say, so she kept quiet, her stomach doing somersaults. Her breath quickened, and her whole body felt tingly with fear and anxiety.

Oh God, that pregnancy test.
How would Adam feel about the pregnancy? Would he be happy to be a father? They’d never really spoken about it.

“I’ll be out of here in a sec,” Adam said and continued walking straight for the master bath.

She wasn’t sure what her plan for telling Adam had been, but it certainly hadn’t been like this. Most likely she would have waited until that night, when they were alone, so they could talk it through. She could tell him her fears. Her anxieties. Hear what he had to say. Finding out this way was the worst scenario imaginable.

“Wait!” Rachel jumped up and ran to the door of the master bath. “I need to use the bathroom,” she announced, trying to act natural and sound calm as she blocked Adam’s entrance.

Adam reared back, surprised. “You need to use the bathroom
now
?”

“Yes, right now.” She whipped her head toward the other two men in the room. “Can’t I have some privacy, guys?”

“Privacy for what?” Christian asked. “I thought we were talking.”

“What does it matter?” she said sharply. “Girl things. I can’t talk anymore. Shoo. I need you guys out of here. Trevor, please? I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay, let me just get…’” Adam started.

“No, wait.”

She tried to block him, but Adam had already opened the door and was in the master bath, brushing past her as if she were as insubstantial as a ghost. She squeezed her eyes shut.
Please don’t let him see it. Please don’t let him see it.

“Rachel.” His deep voice echoed in the small space. “Why is there a pregnancy test on the counter?”

Dammit!

Trevor stood up straight and alert. Christian’s head jerked in her direction. She took a sharp, shaky breath.

Adam stepped out of the bathroom holding the pink stick in his hand, his head bent. “It’s a plus sign.” He looked up. “What does that mean?”

She stifled a sob. “It means I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” Warmth—glowing, billowing and generous—pierced Adam’s chest. A smile he couldn’t stop exploded across his face. He looked down at the stick in his hand. “Pregnant,” he repeated to himself, feeling the word roll over his tongue, trying it on for size. A baby? Rachel was carrying his child.

They hadn’t spoken of this possibility since the day the condom broke. Rachel had gone into her typical session of denial and Adam… Well, he’d preferred to cross that bridge when he came to it. Although, when he was alone, out on the farm and working the perimeter, his thoughts would stray and he’d wondered what he would do if Rachel were pregnant.

He looked up at her.

In that moment, everything seemed to lock into place. Stray thoughts raveled together and tightened. Any uncertainty he’d had about his feelings for Rachel or at the thought of her carrying his child fell away. This was right. He could keep her safe. Keep the baby safe. After all, they were both immune, so it stood to reason that the child would be born with the same immunity, and if it wasn’t, everyone who had the disease was dead. There was no one infected alive to carry the virus.

Yes, he was in this for the long haul. And dammit, he could give her what she needed from him. He’d been living with her now for the last two months, hadn’t he? And he’d enjoyed every moment of their life together. His chest warmed. Rachel made him happy to be alive. Happy he’d survived.

“What the hell?” Trevor exclaimed from the doorway. “This shouldn’t be happening. We use protection. You two used protection every single time too, right?”

Christian gave Trevor a sharp look. “We?” he asked. “What do you mean,
we
use protection? What do you have to do with this?”

“Rachel and I use protection,” Adam admitted to Trevor, ignoring Christian’s question. “But two months ago the condom broke. This isn’t unexpected.” He ran an eye over Rachel again, about to wrap an arm around her, pull her to his side. But she wouldn’t look at him. Why wouldn’t she look at him? He felt an unease settle in his chest.

“Holy hell,” Trevor exclaimed. “The condom broke. Well, that explains that. But shit, a baby.” Trevor glanced at Rachel, clearly stunned.

Christian stood up from the bed. “Trevor, what did you mean when you said
we
…we use protection?” he asked with more force than necessary, every word edged with bitterness.

Adam’s brow furrowed. What the fuck was going on? Why did Christian care whether Rachel told him about the test or not? What did it matter? Adam looked again at Rachel, really looked at her. She’d been quiet this whole time, a few feet separating them but standing there as if she were a world away. “Rachel, come here.” He put his hand out.

She swallowed hard and didn’t move a muscle. “Adam, I…” she trailed off, her eyes huge and bright with unshed tears. She looked scared out of her mind. Terrified. Like she was ready to bolt from the room. His stomach churned, his instincts flaring to life, telling him that something was very,
very
, fucking wrong. This whole scenario felt very similar to another one he’d been through with another woman. He watched Rachel and felt in his bones that this wasn’t nervous fear over her pregnancy, this was something worse.

“Did you have sex with Rachel?” Christian raged at Trevor.

Trevor crossed his arms and shook his head at Christian. “Dude, that’s a private matter.”

“There’s no such thing as privacy here anymore,” Christian snapped. “Have you been fucking Rachel or not?”

Adam heard Rachel’s sharp intake of breath. “Christian,” he warned.

Christian turned on Rachel. “You had sex with Trevor too, didn’t you? Jesus Christ, Rachel, were you
trying
to get pregnant? How could you be so stupid? You could die from this, you know. The baby could die too. What were you thinking?”

Adam’s eyes narrowed and clenched his hands into fists. “You need to calm the fuck down and watch what you’re saying. Now.”

Christian jabbed a finger at him. “I have the right to say whatever the hell I want. I’m as much a part of this as you are.”

Rachel put her hands over her face and started crying, her shoulders shaking. Pressure began to build in his chest. Ice ran through his veins. “Why is that?”

Christian’s nostrils flared, and his neck corded. “Because, I will also be living with the consequences. That child will be mine too. It will be all of ours.”

That was all he needed to hear. His brained seemed to crack, as if he literally heard the shards crashing on the floor. A piece of him that had been fragile, more fragile than he had realized, broke apart and left behind an exposed, raw wound. A pulsating, disgusting part of himself that no one needed to see, but today they would. There was no stopping it. One moment he was fine, the next he was a raging bull. A stampeding beast of an animal. He could feel the veins in his neck pounding out a vicious drum beat.