Diary of a Minecraft Zombie: Book 1

Copyright © 2015 Herobrine Publishing

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This unofficial Minecraft novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners.

Monday

Uuuuurrrgghhhh!!!

Honey, it’s time to get up!

Uuuurrrgghhhaacckkhuhh?

Honey, it’s night time already, you need to get up!

Aww Mom, do I have to?

Yes you do.  Those villagers aren’t going to scare themselves.

Uuuurrgghhhhh!!!

Don’t Uuuuurrrgghhh!!! Me.  You get up, and get ready this instant!

Oh, OK Mom...

Zombie parents can be a real pain sometimes...

It’s always “Do this,” and “Scare that...”

Some days I wish I were human so I wouldn’t have to get up at night and go scaring...

I’m sure human parents aren’t like this...

And I’m sure human parents aren’t always telling their kids what to do...

Human parents are probably really nice and let their kids stay up all day and do whatever they want.

But not Zombie parents....

“Don’t go out during the day because you’ll burn yourself! Blah, blah, blah...” They say.

One day, I’m just going to stay out all day, just to see what will happen.

My friend Creepy stays out during the day, and nothing happens to him.

As a matter of fact, so does Slimey next door.

Urrggghhhh!  They have all the fun.  Why can’t my parents be like that?

Well, at least I’m not alone. My best friend Skelee can’t go out during the day, his parents are really strict. 

Skelee’s parents won’t even let him have a dog...

He said his uncle got a dog once, but it buried his grandmother in the back yard...

...And they never found her...

…Bummer…

Tuesday

Well, it’s a scare day today, so I have to go out and scare some villagers again.

Most of the time it’s boring...But sometimes it can be fun.

One time, I crept up behind a villager, I put my arms out like this and said Uurrrgghhh!!!

It really scared him...

Actually, he was so scared he ran away and dropped his sword.

I took it as a souvenir.  I have it hanging up on my wall.

Another time, I was in a friendly mood, and I said “Hi!” to a villager...

...He fainted...

I think maybe it was my breath...

Mom always tells me not to brush my teeth...but I forgot and did anyway.

Wednesday

There’s a Zombie at school that really gets on my nerves...

No really, he steps on the nerves on my feet every time he walks by...

His name is Jeff.

I wouldn’t be so mad if he wasn’t bragging all of the time.. 

“I scared five villagers yesterday...” He told me.

“Who cares...anybody can do that.” I said...

“...And I did it during the daytime!” he said.

“What! During the daytime?!!!”

“Yep, during the daytime!”

Either he was lying or Jeff is not such a lame brain after all.

He said that his uncle took him out on a rainy day, and they scared a bunch of villagers that were huddled under a tree.

I still don’t believe him...

But it would explain why he smells funny.

Zombies aren’t supposed to get wet…

At scare school today, the teacher was teaching us about the best time to scare villagers...

He said if we’re really lucky we would catch a villager trying to mine at night.

They’re great, because they always drop cool stuff you could take home...

My buddy Creepy said his uncle scared a miner one night...

He almost went home with a fat diamond...

But his uncle got so excited, he blew up…

…He sent Creepy a selfie, though…

Thursday

After scare school, me, Creepy, Skelee and Slimey like to go out to have some fun.

We sometimes go to the village to cause some trouble.

Our favorite game is to bang on some doors and run away...

I almost got caught once, but I talked my way out of it.

Creepy told me that he came face to face with some villager once.

He got so nervous he started shaking...

He tried to introduce himself, but they just ran away.

I don’t think people really get Creepy.

My favorite game is  hide and seek.

Our friend Slimey told us he played hide and seek with his uncle once.

One time his uncle hid in the water...

They never heard from him again...

Friday

I got home after school and my little brother started bothering me again.

He is such a little ankle biter!

No, really…

He likes to bite my ankles and run away…really fast!

Sometimes he hops on his chicken and then I can never catch him…

Mom says I used to do the same thing when I was his age.

I guess they don’t feed us enough when we’re kids…

My Mom said I had to get ready for dinner.

I asked her, “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“Rotten meatloaf.” She said.

“Can’t we go out to eat?” I asked her.

“There are no villagers out tonight.  So no, we can’t!”

Bummer.  I was really hungry…

I know what you’re thinking…

But we don’t eat villagers.

When we scare them, they sometimes drop really yummy food.

One time, I scared a villager and she dropped some cake!

That was the best day ever...

Saturday

Today, Mom says we’re going to my cousin’s house.

He lives in the Nether.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t so hot there all the time.

My cousin’s name is Piggy. 

Funny name right?

Piggy doesn’t think so...

When I asked Piggy where he was from, he told me something about his dad being struck by lightning or something like that.

Piggy is always making stuff up...

Piggy’s house is right in the middle of the Nether.

The Nether is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

First time I came, I brought my sleeping bag.

I rolled it out to get ready for bed and…Boom!

I’m never going to do that again…

Also it’s really noisy.

Too much snorting and wailing.

Mom tells me it’s just the Ghasts that do a fly by once in a while...

They’re really noisy for a flying octopus.

Piggy introduced me to his friend Blaze.

I tried to give him a high five, but he didn’t have any hands...

Talk about...Awkward!

Piggy and I play all kinds of games.

But the only game we can’t play is tag...

As soon as I tag Piggy, all of his relatives get mad at me and start chasing me for some reason...