Diane Warner's Wedding Question & Answer (8 page)

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Authors: Diane Warner

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Page 61
My fiancé's parents feel obligated to invite many of their business acquaintances who have invited them to their children's weddings, but I only want guests I know and love at my wedding. Is this common for invitations to be sent to so many people the bride doesn't even know?
Unfortunately, it is quite common and there probably isn't anything you can do about it. I have strong personal feelings against this type of thing where wedding invitations are sent to fulfill business obligations. A wedding ceremony is a sacred, personal occasion, and I think the bride and groom have the right to be surrounded only by loving friends and relatives who are there to support them and celebrate with them.
Is it proper to state on the invitation what the guests can expect in the way of food?
Yes. It is not only proper but a very good idea to let your guests know what to expect, especially if the reception falls close to a normal meal time. You can inform them tactfully by merely adding, in small italicized letters at the bottom of the invitation, the words:
Dinner reception to follow
or
Hors d'oeuvres reception to Follow
. That way, your guests know how much to eat before the wedding, saving room for the feast or filling up before the famine.
We have limited space for our reception. Would it be all right if we invite only a certain number of guests to the reception, but let the others know that if there are any cancellations, we will contact them?
Absolutely not! This would be
really
tacky! Either invite a guest to the reception or not; the alternative would be taken as a great insult by those who are not invited at first.
 
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What is an ''open church" invitation?
It is an invitation to everyone who attends the bride's or groom's church. Usually, the invitation is announced from the pulpit, printed in the church bulletin and also in the weekly or monthly church newsletter that goes to each member's home. This is what we did with our daughter's wedding and it resulted in about 100 more guests than we had planned! Scary!
 
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Chapter 7
The Bride
What is the average price for a wedding gown today?
It varies around the country, with higher prices in the Northeast, southern California, and the larger cities, but the overall average is approximately $800 for the gown, plus $150 for the headpiece and veil, and another $200 to $600 for the undergarments and accessories, for a grand total of about $1,400.
My mom and I went shopping for my wedding gown for the first time last Saturday and by the end of the day I was thoroughly confused. The salespeople used terms like "formal daytime" and "semiformal evening." All I know is that I want a floor-length gown. Are there strict rules on the length of a bridal gown?
You are the bride and you may select any dress you wish; however, if you want to at least consider the rules of
 
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wedding etiquette, keep these three things in mind: A floor-length gown is suitable for any wedding, day or night, as long as the wedding is formal or semiformal; for a very formal wedding, the gown should have a train and the bride usually wears a veil; for an informal wedding, whether day or night, you may wear a street-length dinner dress, a short cocktail dress, a suit, or a very simple ankle-length wedding gown without a face veil.
I'm not too crazy about wearing a veil at all. What are some other choices?
You may wear a single flower or a wreath of flowers in your hair, or you may wear a simple bow on the back of your head, or even a bridal hat. You may also decide to wear nothing on your head at all, which is fine unless there is a religious reason why your head should be covered. For example, all brides being married in Orthodox Jewish ceremonies must be veiled.
I'm going to be wearing a long cathedral-length veil. How do I handle it daring the reception?
The best solution is to have your veil made so that it is detachable from your headpiece. Have your maid of honor on hand to rescue your veil and store it in a safe place until after your honeymoon.
This is my second marriage. Will it be in bad taste for me to wear white?
Of course not! You may wear a traditional white wedding gown or a gown of any color you would like. There are a couple of rules you may wish to follow, however, when it comes to your attire: A second-time bride usually doesn't wear a veil nor does her dress have a train.
 
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I found a gown I just love, but it is a pale peach color; my sister says that color is only for second brides. Is that true?
No, not at all. The modern brides of today often choose pale pinks and peaches, as well as varied shades of ivory, cream, and off-white. It depends a great deal on your coloring. Many women don't look their best in a stark-white white and are wise to choose a more becoming color.
I'm having trouble deciding on how to style my hair for the wedding. I want it to be something special. Are there any guidelines?
The first thing you need to do is purchase your headpiece and veil because that will determine how you should wear your hair. Take it with you to your hair salon and ask for the advice of your stylist. Also, check out the models in bridal magazines; look for those wearing veils like yours.
Not only am I short, but I'm also short-waisted. What style gown would be best for me?
I've received so many questions asking what style dress is best for each type of figure. Let me answer all of them here, including yours:
Short and short-waisted
. Look for a petite-sized princess-style gown with simple sleeves and neckline.
Tall
. Look for a gown with flared or tiered skirts and a defined neckline.
Plus-sized
. Look for a princess-style gown with simple lines and embroidery, lace, or pearl detail near the neckline.
 
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Big bosomed
. Look for a gown with a high neckline and a dropped waistline.
Thin
. Look for a full gown with ruffles, shoulder pads, and lots of detail work.
I'm on a diet and plan to lose another 20 pounds before the wedding, but I need to order my gown now. Should I buy one or two sizes smaller than my present size?
I know you plan to lose this weight, and I'm sure you will. However, just to be safe, order your gown to fit you today. Then, if you do lose this weight, have the gown taken in. It's impossible to alter a size 10 into a size 14.
When should I order my gown to allow plenty of time for alterations?
Order your dress as soon as possible, preferably six to nine months before the wedding. It should arrive three to four months after you place the order, allowing plenty of time for three fittings: the first fitting as soon as it arrives; the second one month before the wedding; and the third two weeks before the wedding. If you can't order your gown at least six months before the wedding, find one off the rack, at a discount warehouse or through a JCPenney's catalog, even if it is a size or two larger than you wanted. You can always have the gown altered and that way you'll at least be assured of having a gown in time for your wedding with no ugly surprises at the last minute when your order doesn't arrive in time. Another option if there is a time crunch, of course, is to have your gown fashioned for you by a professional seamstress.
 
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I would really like to find a gown that fits me, that I like, off the rack, but all the salons I've visited have only a limited number in stock; they always suggest I place an order for a certain gown in my size. Is there any such place as one store that has a huge selection of gowns on hand, ready to be purchased on the spot?
There is a store called Kleinfeld's on 82nd Street in Brooklyn, New York, which is said to be the largest bridal shop in the world. It has 30,000 square feet stocked with 3,000 gowns. Brides go there from all over the world to select their gowns, with the help of the shop's bridal consultants. I know of a bride from my own area here in California who flew out there with a budget of less than $1,000 to spend on a gown; she found one on their bargain rack for less than $900it was a Bianchi silk shantung gown that fit her perfectly! Of course, not many brides can afford to fly all over the country shopping for their weddings, although it sounds like a lot of fun!
You said that bride found a gown for less than $1,000, but what does the average bride spend for a gown at Kleinfeld's?
Between $1,500 and $2,000.
Why does the bride carry a bridal handkerchief?
It is considered a "lucky" thing to do. The tradition dates back to the days when farmers believed a bride's wedding day tears were lucky and would bring rain for their crops. Also, an old wives' tale said that if a bride cried at her wedding, she would never shed another tear.
 
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What Should I pack up to take with me when I go to the church to dress for the ceremony?
In addition to your gown, headpiece, shoes, purse, slip, jewelry, bra, garters, and pantyhose, you'll need an emergency kit with the following:
An extra pair of pantyhose.
Hand mirror.
Makeup.
Hair fixings, including hairspray, hairpins, combs, lifters, etc.
Nail file and nail polish.
Safety pins (all sizes).
Complete sewing kit.
Masking tape (white).
Box of tissues.
Hand towel and wash cloth.
Static cling spray (a must-bring-along).
Bottled water or small cans of juice.
Breath mints and mouthwash.
Sanitary napkins.
Scissors.
Super-adhesive glue.
Stapler.
Deodorant.
Hand lotion.
Bottle of aspirin, acetaminophen, or ibuprofen.
First aid supplies, including small adhesive bandages.
 
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Baby powder.
Cleaning fluids (one for water-soluble and one for greasy stains).
Spare contact lens and lens fluid.
Towelettes.
Transparent tape.
Words of caution: After you've been working with your makeup and hairspray, etc. don't even think about touching your gown until you've washed your hands. Also, when slipping your gown over your head be careful that it doesn't rub against your makeup.
I would like to try to make my own veil. Where do I start?
More brides should give this idea a try. The cost of the materials that go into making a bridal headpiece are so small in comparison to paying full retail price in a salon that it is certainly worth the effort. The first time I tried to make a veil I spent about $16 on the materials for a copy of one I had seen in a bridal salon for $175. I made it without a pattern, purchasing the silk flowers, stems already wrapped with satin, from a floral supply store, and the tulle netting from a fabric store. It took me less than an hour to make it and it turned out so well I had brides in my seminars begging to purchase it. Give it a try and even if it doesn't work out, you will be out very little money for the effort. You can purchase a veil pattern, by the way, at any fabric store, or you may use my pattern and instructions from my book entitled
Beautiful Wedding Decorations and Gifts on a Small Budget
.

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