Diane Warner's Wedding Question & Answer (23 page)

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Authors: Diane Warner

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Page 172
flowers, and so on. Take any photo or negative to your local drug store photo department and have them blow it up into a poster.
A "stop sign" made out of poster board, bordered with red lettering in the center that has the couple's names or "God Bless the Newlyweds."
A bouquet of flowers tied to the hood ornament with streaming ribbons floating down.
Balloons, tissue bells, pompoms, or bows made out of tulle netting, all in the wedding's colors.
Use a "Just Married" car kit, which can be purchased from your local wedding or party supply store, to write choice sayings along the side of the car.
Cans, shoes, or vocational novelties. In addition to the traditional cans and shoes, trail along any novelty items that denote the couple's hobbies or occupations, such as school books wrapped tightly with a narrow belt, old stethoscopes, golf clubs, etc. Along with these novelties, you can add a couple of posters that read: "This One's Sold," for the groom who sells real estate, or "Gonna' Be a Three-Alarm Fire Tonight," if the groom is a fireman, for example. If you put on your thinking cap you can think up something clever for almost any occupation or hobby.
Giant doves or hearts. Make doves or double overlapping hearts out of poster board, outline them with crepe paper flowers, pompoms, etc. You can write the couple's names inside the hearts.
There are no rules when it comes to decorating the getaway vehicle, so let your mind go crazy. To give you an idea of what I mean, an old rusty Jeep was decorated for one wedding I attended, wrapped with crepe paper and decorated with flowers, balloons, and ribbons, roll bar and all. The old jeep turned into a "wedding float" that led the way through town after the reception, followed by the rest of
 
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the honking, cheering party. No one would have guessed there was an old Jeep under there! In another case, the entire wedding party hiked up onto a horse-drawn wagon full of hay and partied through town until the bridal couple was finally, dropped off at the airport. Think of the resources available to you, and see if you can come up with an original idea of your own.
Are there any precautions when it comes to decorating the vehicle?
Here are a few tips:
Don't use glue, cellophane tape, rubber cement, or regular paint of any kind.
If you're going to decorate with fresh flowers, choose hardy varieties, not "wimpy" flowers that will wilt in the weather, such as tulips, camellias, or gardenias.
Keep the windshield clear. Don't write on it or drape it with anything.
If there's any chance at all for rain, ditch your crepe paper ideas. Colored crepe paper will "bleed" all over the car and may cause permanent stains.
We've heard some horrible tales about limo drivers who arrived late or drunk or limos that were filthy. How can we avoid such a disaster?
Your best bet is to find a limousine company that belongs to the National Limousine Association. If you can't locate one, call this association at 800-NLA-7007 or access their Web site at
www.limo.org
.
 
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How much do limos run per hour?
According to recent information furnished by the National Limousine Association, limos run from approximately $75 to $200 per hour, usually with a three-hour minimum.
Are there more affordable alternatives?
One couple rented a Lincoln Town Car at $45 for the entire day; another rented an antique red trolley car, complete with uniformed driver, at a total cost of $150 for the day.
 
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Chapter 20
All Those Extras
What about ceremony programs? Are they necessary?
They are optional, but much appreciated by your guests, especially those who don't know the members of the wedding party.
What about printed thank you notes, with something really personal, such as, "Ron and I sincerely thank you for your lovely gift"?
Actually, your suggested wording isn't at all personal; in fact, by the very nature of it being a preprinted thank you note, you have lost any hope of it being a personalized response. Sorry, but thank you notes must be in your own handwriting.
 
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Is it all right if I get help writing my thank you notes? We expect to have more than 200 gifts.
Your thank you notes should be in your own handwriting, although it's fine if your husband helps you with them, particularly to his own friends and family. Remember one thing: No matter which one of you writes the thank you note, be sure to reference the other. For example, "Jim and I really appreciate the . . . "
I was hoping there wouldn't be a lot of children running around at my wedding, but several people in the wedding party have small children. Should we provide childcare?
Strictly speaking, rules of etiquette say that small children should not be invited to weddings. In the real world, however, there usually seem to be several running around. At one wedding I attended there were about 10 children playing hide-and-seek in the garden where the reception was being held. I cringed as I watched the flower beds turn to "mulch" and the flower girls' dresses turn into instant play clothes. How much better if there would have been a couple of teenagers on hand to play games with these children, or show them videos, or
something
! For your own peace of mind, I definitely recommend providing childcare.
What about lodging for the wedding party and all those who are coming in from out of town?
The bride should make the arrangements for her attendants and the groom for his. If they can't be put up with relatives and friends, you will need to reserve and pay for their hotel or motel rooms. As far as the other guests or family members who are coming in from out of town, they will be expected to pay for their own lodging, although they may request that you make their reservations.
 
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Our reception is being held at a large downtown hotel that charges for parking. Wouldn't it be all right for the guests to pay for their own parking, or are we expected to pick up that tab?
Unfortunately, you are. It isn't nice to invite guests to your wedding and expect them to pay for anything.
We expect to have quite a few relatives who will fly in for the wedding; will my parents be expected to feed them after the reception?
If a full meal was served at the reception, the relatives may be invited over to your home for a light dessert and coffee after the reception, more for the purpose of visiting than of eating. However, if the reception consisted only of finger foods or dessert, your mother may wish to serve them a meal or, better yet, treat them to a meal at a restaurant, where they can all visit without the extra work.
What are some of the little hidden expenses that usually pop up at the last minute?
Here are some of the extras you need to think about:
A guest book and pen. If it is a large wedding, you may want to provide two books, one at each door as the guests enter the reception. Then it's also a good idea to have one of your helpers walk around once the reception is under way and ask the guests if they have signed the book. An economical alternative to the standard white guest book is a long piece of off-white parchment; roll it tightly into a scroll, then let it unwind, creating an attractive and unusual record of your guests. After the wedding this scroll can then be kept as a momento by rewinding it and tying with a ribbon or by framing it. One bride provided sheets of paper along with crayons and felt tip markets for the guests to write messages or draw picturesa truly unique alternative to
 
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the traditional guest book. One more clever idea: Have your guests sign the matting around your engagement photo (on display during the reception).
Decorated baskets for the reception. You will need two or more decorated baskets for distributing the favors and collecting any gift envelopes the guests may bring to the reception.
Toasting glasses for the bride and groom. You can purchase decorated champagne glasses engraved with the names of the couple, or you can purchase them from a factory outlet store and decorate them yourself for a fraction of the cost.
Cake cutting knife and server. You can purchase them in a set, engraved or decorated or, as with the toasting glasses, purchase them at an outlet store and decorate them yourself. A popular sentimental alternative these days is to use your mother's or grandmother's, decorated or not.
The bride's throwaway bouquet. The bride usually wants to keep and preserve her bouquet and has a "pretend" one made up to throw away at the reception. You can have an inexpensive duplicate made up by your florist, or you can assemble one yourself out of fresh or silk flowers. The silk idea is best because you can make it up ahead of time and forget about it.
The bride's garters. The bride will need twoone to keep as a momento and one to be tossed by her groom.
The bride's gifts to her bridal attendants, such as a pearl necklace, pair of earrings, bracelet, picture frame, silver spoon, pair of gloves, heart-shaped locket, compact, scarf, or jewelry box. For her flower girl or junior attendants she will also want to provide a thoughtful gift, such as a Barbie doll, a tea set, stuffed animals, or a book.
The groom's gifts to his attendants, such as a pen and pencil set, key chain, wallet, Swiss army knife (a very popular choice these days), money clip, travel kit, comb and brush
 
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set, or tie clasp. For the boys he may want to give a train set, stuffed animal, book, or electronic game.
The couple's gifts to the helpers. The couple will want to give thoughtful thank you gifts to everyone who helped out in any way during the ceremony and the receptionfrom the guest book attendants, to the cake servers, to the host and hostess, to all those who weren't paid professionals. Here are some suggestions: a framed photo of the bride and groom or of the wedding invitation, a gift certificate, perfume or cologne, tickets to a sporting event or concert, a silver plate or bowl, or a crystal vase or paperweight.
The couple's gifts to their parents. It is traditional for the bride and groom to give their parents keepsakes or mementos of the wedding, to be treasured by them always. Here are a few ideas: a framed poem or thank you note; a double frame containing the couple's photo on one side and the wedding invitation on the other; a live tree that can be planted in the parent's yard as a reminder of the wedding; a wedding memory silk topiary tree for their home that contains mementos of the wedding, such as actual pieces of ribbon or dried flowers from the bride's bouquet, one of the favors, tufts of fabric from the bridesmaids' gowns, plus a tiny photo of the bride and groom.
Last-minute alterations. From the time you purchase or rent the gown or tuxedo, you may lose or gain weight, so it's not unusual to have last-minute alterations. The bride, in fact, can easily drop five pounds the week before the wedding.
Sheet music for the musicians. Be prepared to purchase the sheet music for the pieces you have selected for your ceremony and reception. When our daughter was married, she was determined to use the wedding march from
The Sound of Music
for the recessional after the ceremony, but the organist had never heard of it. We had difficulty finding it, as a matter of fact, and finally had it specially ordered.
 
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Aisle runner. I'm not crazy about these things myself because they tend to ''bunch up" as the bride walks down the aisle, plus the fact that it is very difficult to find a white aisle runner that matches the white in the bride's gown. If you definitely want to use one, however, it can be rented from a wedding supply store.
A kneeling pillow (for the bride and groom to kneel on at the altar). It is a nice tradition to embroider your names and wedding date on a white or ivory pillow; then, pass it down to your children and grandchildren to use someday in their weddings, with their names and wedding dates embroidered under yours.
Makeup artist, manicurist, and hair stylist. Many brides today hire one of each to be on hand the morning of the wedding to beautify the bride and her attendants. If you're lucky, you have some talented friends who can help out.
Childcare. As I've already mentioned, according to proper wedding etiquette small children shouldn't be invited to the wedding, but in the real world you can expect to have quite a few running around. That's why I recommend hiring a few teenagers to help out.
Calligrapher. Here is one of those extra expenses that can really get out of hand if you decide to have a calligrapher address all the invitations and enclosure cards. An alternative is to purchase a black calligraphy pen and do them yourself. By taking it nice and slow and adding a few twirls and loops, you can fake it pretty well.
Rental of awnings or tents, especially in case of rain.
Rental of tables, chairs, fountains, lattice arches, or portable bars.
Security officer (see Chapter 15).
Housesitter to stay at your home during the ceremony and reception. (Remember that burglars read the wedding announcements in the newspaper, too.)

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