Devilcountry (34 page)

Donnie got up.  Pretended to be incensed by
the insult.

“Get home safe, both of you.”

“Hey come on, she was only kidding,” Pop said.

“I gotta roll.”  Pop still had a look of
stress on him.  He hadn’t been alone with anyone since before the funeral.
 It was time for Pop to fly again.  Claudia put a hand over Pop’s.

Touch-touch.

“It’s all right.  Pop and I will hang out.
 Go on now.  We’re cool, right
Pop
?” Claudia
asked as she looked over at Pop.  “I came to see you.  We gotta catch
up.”  Pop took a swallow.  A bit of healthy fear overcame him.

“I’ll call you later, Claudia.”

“Kiss me and leave, Donnie.” Donnie reached in.
 She gave him the cheek.

“Lipstick!”  She cooed.  Pop laughed.
 Donnie missed that laugh.  Now it was back. “I love you, D.”
 She whispered in his ear as she wrapped an arm around his neck and
brought him in.  He’d never heard her say that to him.  He pulled
back. He looked at her.  Her big brown eyes trying to take over his world
stared back at him, vulnerable, exposed, at peace.  
A
quiet smile overtaking her.
 Donnie smiled back.  Overwhelmed.
 He regained his composure.  Broke her
gaze
and looked over at his dad.

“I’ll see you later Pop.”

Pop and Claudia ended up sitting there together
for hours.  Claudia was in hysterics.  She hadn’t laughed like that
in a long time.  All of her actor boyfriends were such blowhards.
  Time didn’t seem to matter.  The day led to another day of
lunch and laughter.  Visits here, visits there.  
Dinners,
the zoo, an IMAX showing of
2001:A Space Odyssey
, stoned.
 
Disneyland, the beach.
 Yes, Pop on the beach.  He
still looked the look.  
Old trunks though.
 Claudia bought him new ones.  She got the pilot.  Pop visited
her
onset which
made the Director shit.  Claudia
was royalty on set after Pop left.   He gave her great notes.
 The pilot didn’t get picked up but she made a ton off of it anyway.
 

Then, they were gone.  
Both
of them.
 They flew the coup, together.  Laughing
themselves
all the way down to Lake Titticaca.  Donnie
was puzzled until he got an email.  Two years they would end up down there
helping Jonathan with an irrigation project.  There were pictures of both
of them working the soil.  Crazy.  After reading the email and
staring at the pictures of his father smiling and holding a huge fish, he put
the computer to sleep and went to bed.  He spooned Tess as he drifted off.
 

Donnie dreamt that night.  Sleeping like
the baby egg in the nest he used to be.  Mommy picked him up and squeezed
him hard.  “Jew r soooooo cute!!! She cooed as she threw him in the air
and he flew away.

AN
EXPLANATION

Firstly,
let me make this absolutely clear: this is a work of fiction.  All
celebrities mentioned were not involved in the events portrayed.  Okay?
 Just chill.  The only thing that really occurred was Tyra Banks
grandstanding on her show. Here’s the link if you don’t believe me.
   
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-rwEYtu8Gw
.
And the Dog story.
 That happened exactly as it
was written.  Some of the Ozzy stuff really happened.  And there are
two Anaheims.  Go here for an article about Latino riots in Anaheim in
2012. 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/28/anaheim-riots-police
shootings_n_1712105.html

Crazy
shit, huh?

But in case any of you bastards decide to get
litigious may I remind you of the First Amendment.  Also, in no way, shape
or form is this book meant to be libelous toward high profile people.  All
famous people are worthy, and deserving of respect.
Even if
they are troubled.

During the writing of this story I saw them more
as adjectives rather than nouns helping me to create an image upon a wordy
canvas.  It’s part of what I believe to be a post-modern movement within
creativity.  It is a language all its own.  It’s also really funny to
make fun of celebrities.  

This book was written during my tenure at a
pizza place located in the heart of Devilcountry.  Yes, I delivered to lots
of celebrities.  No, I did not have sex with them in true, “Pizza Guy gets
laid” fashion.  There was this one time when this totally hot, unfamous
blond answered the door in nothing but a towel but I didn’t make a move.
 I couldn’t.  I was too overwhelmed by her stunning, moistened
appearance to in any way initiate any type of cliched sexual response.
 She smiled.  I smiled.  Then I said, “$16.17, please”.  I
think she handed me a twenty.  I can’t remember what she tipped.  Hot
stuff.  Yes, I longed for her sexually, but then again what kind of crazy
person answers the door wearing nothing but a towel?  The point is that
things did happen while I was on the job that were larger than life, but there
is a huge difference between the reality I experienced and the reality I create
within this book.  That is what storytelling is all about.  The
three auxillary
tales were written in roughly the same time
period but didn’t quite fit the Devilcountry storyline so I put them at the
end.  Who cares? I think they’re great stories.  Thas it.

CS - 2013