Devil in Disguise (30 page)

Molly had been living at
Kit-Kat Cottage for a month when something extraordinary happened. The walls of
Lilia’s bedroom were a cold, watery blue, and her bedspread was a faded floral
pattern, smooth and thinly padded on the flat surface, then ruched jauntily
where it hung down towards the floor. Joey lay on the left-hand side of the
bed, so still and delicate he hardly showed, just a slight incline and a bump,
as if a cat were asleep there. Molly walked to his side of the bed and peered
at him. His eyes were open and he looked at her fearfully.

‘It’s
all right, Joey,’ said Molly. ‘I’m just going to get you up and washed.’ She
hesitated, not wanting to manhandle him while he seemed so scared. ‘Is that
okay? I’ll try not to pull you about too much.’ She gently peeled the covers
back. Joey was lying on his side in a foetal position. She rolled him on to his
back, then slipped a hand under his head and pulled him into a sitting
position, resting his weight against her chest. She felt his breath on her
neck.

‘There …
That wasn’t too bad.’

With
one arm round his back to support him she unbuttoned his pyjama top and slipped
the first arm out. Then she pulled him away from her slightly so she could do
the same with the other. ‘Good,’ she said. She laid him down and pulled off his
pyjama bottoms.

‘Excellent.
No trouble at all,’ she said, trying not to sound too businesslike. In the
bedside cabinet she found a packet of wet wipes and a pair of adult
incontinence pads.

‘I’ll
just get a towel,’ she said breezily, and nipped to the bathroom. When she
returned, she rolled him to one side and placed the towel underneath him, humming
a made-up tune to put him at his ease. ‘That’s good, Joey. You just try and
relax. ‘Molly tried to imagine she was performing a simple domestic task as she
undid the soiled nappy, pulled it off his pitifully thin body and wrapped it
into a ball. She swiftly took a wet wipe in her hand, pushed his knees up and
wiped him clean. She repeated the procedure a couple more times to be sure,
then put the new nappy in place. Next she put on his well-worn grey tracksuit
bottoms, then a long-sleeved T-shirt. ‘Nearly done!’ she said cheerfully, as
she knelt on the floor by his feet to put on his socks and shoes.

‘That’s
better, don’t you think?’ she asked, panting slightly and relieved that the job
was done without any mishaps. ‘Are you ready to get into the chair now?’ She
pulled him gently into a sitting position again, his head resting once again on
her ample chest.

Suddenly
Joey made a gurgling sound she had never heard before. ‘You all right, chuck?’
she asked, peering round to see his face. Joey’s eyes rolled up to look at her.
‘What is it, Joey, love?’

A sound
came from inside Joey’s throat. ‘De-do …

‘Are
you trying to say something?’ asked Molly, shocked by what seemed to be an
attempt to communicate. ‘What’s wrong?’

Joey’s
lips opened and closed and a bubble of saliva appeared in the corner of his
mouth. ‘Buh, buh …’ he said weakly. ‘Ah, ah …’ It was barely louder than a
twig snapping.

‘You
are! You’re trying to tell me something, aren’t you? Oh, Joey!’ Molly clasped
him tighter and touched his face affectionately. ‘Do you want me to get Lilia?
She wouldn’t want to miss this moment.’

Joey
seemed to shudder in her arms and his eyes widened. ‘Naaa!’ he said urgently.
He even managed a very slight shake of the head, barely a millimetre or two to
either side but still perceptible. Exhausted by his efforts, he gasped for
breath and closed his eyes.

‘All
right,’ said Molly, soothingly. ‘Take it easy now. Just relax. If it takes all
day for you to say only three words then it’s still a friggin’ miracle.’ She
patted his back.

They
sat on the bed in silence for a few minutes. Molly’s eyes filled with tears.
How wonderful it would be if Joey could break out of the prison of his mute
existence. Maybe his body was slowly healing itself If he were to regain the
ability to speak, then Lilia would have her beloved husband back. Everything
would change for the better.

Joey
began a series of cat-like coughs, which settled into a slow pulse of g sounds.

Molly
bent her ear to Joey’s mouth and whispered encouragement to him. ‘You’re doing
very well … Gee? Gee? Do you want to put a bet on the horses?’

‘Naaa!’
said Joey, impatience distinctly discernible now.

‘No,
okay, not that.’

Joey
began again, his g sound hard this time. ‘G-G-Goooo!’

‘Goose?
That’s a bit random. Er, Goon? Gawd blimey?’ she asked, watching him closely,
looking for an affirmative sign. ‘This is like charades. Go?’

Suddenly
Joey reacted, blinking like a Morse-code torch and raising his eyebrows.

‘Go?
It’s go?’ she asked excitedly, and Joey blinked some more. ‘Right, I’ve got
that, then. The first word is “go”. What’s the second?’

‘Aravy,’
said Joey. ‘Array. Arraaay!’

‘Harry?
Go Harry?’ asked Molly, without much expectation that she was right.

‘Na,’
croaked Joey, dismissively.

‘I
didn’t think it could be somehow,’ said Molly, cross with herself ‘Take a few
deep breaths and try again.’

Joey
did as instructed. ‘Goo array.’

Molly
looked nonplussed. She frowned and said, ‘Go away?’

Joey
blinked.

‘Do you
want me to go away?’

Joey
blinked again.

‘Oh,’
she said, deflated. ‘Go away. You want me to leave you in bed? You don’t want
to come and watch
Home and Away?’
Joey didn’t respond. ‘Or,’ she said
tentatively, ‘do you want me to go away from this house?’

Joey
blinked with such enthusiasm that Molly eventually raised her hand to signal
that he should stop. ‘I understand, Joey. You want me to go. I’m sorry if I’ve
outstayed my welcome. Is there anything else?’

Despite
the wonder of Joey talking to her, Molly couldn’t help her clipped tone. She
felt hurt. She had always had a problem with rejection, and when someone who
had been unable to communicate for several years made the superhuman effort to
tell her to ‘Go away!’ it was all the more upsetting.

She
wheeled Joey into the kitchen and spoon-fed him his breakfast. He made no
further attempt to speak, and neither did she. When he was finished, she sat
him in the garden as it was a sunny day and went to the lounge, where Lilia and
Heathcliff were having their early morning cuddle on the sofa. Heathcliff was
lying on top of his mistress as usual, his snout buried in Lilia’s cleavage. He
looked up when he saw Molly and wagged his tail.

‘Ah,
Molly!’ said Lilia, a little flushed. ‘Ready to take my boy out for his
constitutional?’

‘Yes.
But can I have a word with you first?’

‘Of course
you can,’ said Lilia, reluctantly pushing the dog off and straightening her
dress as she sat up. ‘What is it, my dear?’

‘Joey
just spoke to me.’

‘Spoke?’

‘Yes,
honest to God. He said two words.’

Lilia
looked almost cross. ‘Those are just muscular twinges, you foolish,
over-imaginative girl.’ She tutted, as if Molly were a naughty schoolgirl
caught swearing.

‘Honest,
Lilia! It took him a while, but he definitely spoke to me.’

‘And
what did he say?’ Lilia sounded almost sarcastic. ‘The Lord’s Prayer?’

Molly
could feel the colour rising in her cheeks. ‘He told me to go. To go away,
leave this house. He doesn’t want me here.’

‘Ha!’ said
Lilia disbelievingly. ‘He sometimes makes strange gurgling noises and his eyes
roll around, but you mustn’t confuse him with Melvyn Bragg.’

‘No,’
insisted Molly. ‘It took a great deal of effort but he can definitely speak.
I’m telling you. “Go away,” he said. He flutters his eyes for yes and keeps
them still for no. He doesn’t like me, he made himself very plain.’

‘Listen
to me,’ said Lilia. ‘My husband hasn’t uttered a word for almost three years. The
doctors say his brain is damaged beyond repair. Do you think you are Our Lady
of Lourdes? And, anyway, he’d be a fool to send you away now, because without
your helping hands he’ll be swilling in his own excrement. I am sorry to be
vulgar, but it is true. No. I will not believe it. I will increase his
medication in case he is building up to one of his fits. We don’t want that. He
projectile-vomited with such velocity once that he broke a window. Not only
that but I had to hose down my bird-bath afterwards, and that’s at the other
end of the garden.’

‘But,
Lilia—’

‘Enough!’
said Lilia, raising her voice. ‘Now, Heathcliff is waiting. Perhaps he, too,
will speak to you when you are alone. Maybe he will recite a Shakespearean
sonnet.’ She laughed derisively.

Molly
gave up, and took the dog for his walk.

Lilia seemed a little
irritable for the rest of that day, and even had a brandy herself after lunch.
That evening when Molly gave Joey his bath, she tried to get him to speak
again. ‘Lilia doesn’t believe you spoke to me this morning. But you did, chuck,
didn’t you? You told me to go away.’

Joey’s
eyes stared up at the ceiling without a flicker of understanding.

‘She
thinks I made the whole thing up.’ Molly swished the water over his soapy arms
to rinse them and gently turned his head to face her. ‘I think you’re more with
it than you make out, Joey. What’s going on in there, eh?’

Although
he was only inches from her, Joey wouldn’t look Molly in the eyes.

‘If you
can speak, Joey, but you don’t want anyone else to know, that’s fine. You and I
could have secret little chats. Would you like that? No? You just want me away
from here, don’t you? You’d like me to go and leave you in peace.’

Joey
did not respond.

Molly
sighed, and finished the bathing in silence. She couldn’t imagine what she had
done to upset him. Maybe he didn’t like anyone but Lilia to see him naked and
vulnerable. Perhaps he was jealous of Molly spending so much time with his wife.
Or was he missing Lilia’s tender care? She would speak to Lilia about her
taking back some of the duties. After all, her bruised elbows must surely be
better by now.

Molly decided to wait to
speak to Lilia until after they had eaten their dinner — steamed carrots and
spinach (with potatoes for Lilia) and two grilled sardines each. Then she went
to the garden for her compulsory cigarette, which she smoked pensively, gazing
out over the garden and thinking about what she wanted to say. After that she washed
the dishes and went into the lounge where Lilia and Heathcliff were sitting
side by side watching
University Challenge.

Lilia
was back in her usual spirits. She pointed at the screen. ‘They might be
clever, these Oxbridge types, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have to wash. Look
at that dirty bitch there! If she spent a little less time studying ancient
Greek and a little more time washing her ugly mug, maybe her skin complaint
would translate itself’

‘Lilia,’
Molly began, ‘I know you don’t believe Joey spoke to me, but I’m sure he did.’

‘Oh,
not this nonsense again!’ said Lilia, exasperated. ‘Can’t it wait? Wadham have
just got some bonus questions on astronomy. That girl should do well — she’s
got more craters on her face than the surface of the moon.’

‘He
did, I tell you. Joey doesn’t like me.’

‘He
doesn’t know what he likes,’ snapped Lilia. ‘He doesn’t have an opinion, any
more than the carrots you’ve just wolfed down for your dinner.’

Molly
took a deep breath. She’d come to a decision earlier, while smoking her
cigarette, and now she had to tell Lilia. ‘I think I should leave. Tomorrow.’

Lilia
turned the television off and threw the remote control onto the floor.

‘Leave?
Don’t be absurd!’

Molly
held up a hand. ‘I’m really grateful to you for all you’ve done for me, but if
I’m making Joey unhappy, it’s not fair for me to stay. His life is miserable
enough as it is without me making it worse.’

‘I am
transforming you into a great artist. You cannot simply get up and leave
because you imagine that pot plant I married has taken a dislike to you. It
will ruin everything. You are not ready yet.’

‘I’ve
decided. Your bruises must have healed by now, and we can both get on with our
lives. I’ll pack my things and go in the morning.’

‘Go
where? You have nowhere to go!’

‘I can
stay with my friend Jane, I expect. If you give me back my phone, I’ll call
her.’

‘No—’

‘I’ve
made my mind up, Lilia,’ Molly said obstinately.

Suddenly
the fire drained from Lilia’s eyes and her shoulders slumped. ‘Have you? Then I
will not waste any more energy. Kit-Kat Cottage is not a prison. You are free
to leave whenever you choose. I do not lock the doors.’