Deviants (27 page)

“Of what?”

“Of me. What I did to those Shredders.”

“No.”
Maybe a bit
. “Is that why you ignored me before? Because you thought I’d be afraid?”

He stares at the ground.

“Burn, you saved my life, saved my family.”

His head snaps up, but he quickly looks away to face the road. “What do you want to see first?”

“Where are the chickens?”

“The chickens?” He looks at me like I’m nuts, but then he nods. “I forget so few people in Haven see the agricultural factories.”

A grin spreads on my face. “And we don’t have chickens.”

“Yes, you do. But only Management gets to eat them, and they segregate the farm workers assigned to the chicken coops.”

That might explain a few unexplained disappearances. “Do people who recover in the Hospital go to work in the coops?” Whatever coops are.

“No,” Burn says sharply. “One of the main goals of the army is keeping Haven employees out of that Hospital.”

“Do you know what happens in there?”

“We have our suspicions.”

“Jayma’s brother died in there.” I touch his arm. “What do you think happened to him?”

“You don’t want to know.” His expression turns grim. My hand drops from his arm.

“I
do
want to know.”

“It’s classified.” He turns to face down the street, and I resolve to keep asking until I have answers. But right now I’d rather focus on happy things, on the Settlement, and forget Haven and the Hospital exist.

Burn continues to answer my questions as he shows me around the Settlement, and I’m shocked to discover there are animals beyond chickens at the farms. Animals I thought were extinct—cows and pigs and goats.

He explains how, when the dust fell, some people managed to protect not only themselves but their animals, and have been carefully breeding them since. I ask more about the Shredder wolf we ran into, but Burn doesn’t really have many answers, except that humans and animals react to the dust in a similar way. A little is okay; too much is bad—causing either death or the madness of addiction.

When we reach the water’s edge, he jumps onto a large rock and reaches down to help me climb up to join him. From there, we sit and watch as the sun starts to set.

“What do you think?” he asks, his voice low.

“It’s wonderful.”

“Not exactly paradise but we get by.”

I don’t know what paradise means, but it seems to me as if
getting by
here would be easy. Once again, I dream of the future. “What will I do here?” I ask. “Am I too old for GT? Are there training centers? When will I be assigned my work placement?”

He laughs. “You just got here. Why worry about that?”

“Just wondering.” I want to flesh out my dreams of a new life. I want to fall asleep tonight imagining how it will be. Plus, I don’t think I can take any unexpected disappointments. If life here will be even close to as tough as it was in Haven, I want to know now.

“You can do whatever you like,” Burn says. “What do you want to do?”

I turn to him, confused. “What do you mean by ‘whatever I like’?”

“You can look after chickens, help in the fields, work in one of the factories, or the mill. The hospital is always looking for smart people willing to train as doctors.”

I suck in a sharp breath. “There’s a hospital?”

“Yes—but here they actually save people’s lives.”

I’d like to look into his eyes to figure out what he’s thinking, but emotions rise in my chest. Although they’re all warm and happy emotions, I don’t want to risk hurting anyone—ever again.

“What do you do here?” I ask, and then realize I already know the answer. “You’re in the army, right? Will you be gone often?” I wish Burn didn’t have such a dangerous job, and sadness seeps into my heart. I push it away.

He leans back. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“Why?”

“It’s hard for a wanted kidnapper to keep a low profile.”

I look away and drop my head down. Someone else whose life I’ve ruined.

“You okay?” Burn asks and even though I’m filled with
emotion, I risk turning toward him. His eyebrows have drawn closer together.

“I’m fine.” I shake my head and smile.

“Good,” he says and, although I’m looking right into his eyes, he’s not showing any signs of physical pain.

Filled with happiness, I reach up to cup his cheek. His breath hitches. Heat grows in his eyes and his breathing accelerates like he’s been running. Worry flashes inside me but I know I haven’t captured his lungs; that’s not what’s heightened his breathing. I know I’m not hurting him, not like that. There’s no telltale stinging behind my eyes, and while I’m aware of Burn—very aware—I’m not locked on to anything inside him, not with my curse.

Hope floods. Maybe I
can
control my curse. Or maybe good emotions don’t bring it on. I’ve never been certain. Maybe it’s not crazy for me to hope that one day I’ll find love.

Stretching, I lift my lips toward Burn’s. He tenses but I trace my lips over the rough surface of his, nibbling along them with small kisses, coaxing his into action. His large hands trace up the sides of my body, like he’s afraid to hurt me, or lose control, and yet his gentle touch ignites trails of pleasure and joy.

My fingers drift over his T-shirt and he’s so warm, so hard, and my body sparks inside and grows lighter like I’ve returned to the lake and I’m floating, drifting free as his hands slide tentatively, carefully, tenderly.

I lean closer, pulling him toward me, my hands on his broad back. I need to show him how much I want this, that I’m ready, that I want to be kissed—really kissed. I draw back
to look into his eyes. He doesn’t need to be afraid. I won’t hurt him.

The instant our eyes meet, his hand lifts and wraps around the back of my head, then his lips capture mine in a strong kiss. He tastes salty and hot and I can’t believe I thought kissing Cal felt good. This is so much better. Sensations ignite that I can barely describe, and although Cal is technically older, it’s like Cal is a boy and Burn is a man.

His lips grow demanding, his touch bold, tracing over my back, my hips, my legs, pulling me against him. His back muscles flex under my touch, almost like they’re expanding.

My eyes snap open. He
is
expanding. His eyes are still full of the heat I saw earlier but they’ve darkened. The tenderness is gone—completely gone. He lunges and presses me back against the surface of the rock.

I try to shout, but my mouth’s covered by a kiss so aggressive it’s as if he’s trying to steal my air, trying to inhale me, consume me. Pinned between the cold stone and the heat emanating from Burn, my body implodes with fear.

I struggle and push, but he presses against me with too much force. I grab his head in my hands and push back, hoping he’ll look at me, recognize me, realize what he’s doing. He lifts his head but his expression fills me with terror.

In it, I see nothing of Burn. His eyes have darkened, his skin has thickened and his expression has turned his features grotesque, like the gargoyles hanging from the lower parts of some of the oldest surviving buildings in Haven. It’s like Burn’s not there at all. He’s been replaced, taken over by a monster. A monster that kills.

But I’ve caught his gaze. My curse comes to the rescue and I focus hard on his eyes, keeping him trapped. His blood races quickly through his veins, like it’s running from fire, and I take hold of the closest organ—his brain—and tighten.

Roaring, he pushes back from me but doesn’t let go, and anger joins his animalistic expression, twisting his once handsome features. Fires rage in his eyes, but in spite of his physical strength, the one thing he can’t do is break eye contact. I’ve got him.

I don’t want to kill him. But if I don’t, he might hurt or kill me.

Dizziness takes hold and my focus fades. If I pass out while he’s this monster, he’ll rape me, kill me. My mind floods with anger almost like it’s coming directly from Burn. I can’t let anger win. I’m losing control.

Don’t hurt me
, I think.
Burn, it’s me, Glory. You don’t want to hurt me. I don’t want to hurt you
.

His face contorts and twists, and I imagine a moment of lucidity in his eyes, a moment of recognition. I pray that I’m right.

Taking the risk, I release his gaze and he leaps off the rock and races into the twilight.

Drawing my knees into my chest, I rock, trying to stay conscious, trying to reconcile what just happened, trying to sort through the roller coaster of sensations inside my body. Burn’s transformation isn’t just about getting bigger and stronger—he turns into an actual monster. The Burn I know wasn’t there.

I was crazy to think he could ever be mine.

I’ve always assumed my curse would keep me from finding love, but in this case
my
Deviance isn’t the problem—Burn’s is. He becomes far too dangerous.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

^T
HE NEXT MORNING
I wake tired and bruised, but I hear Dad and Drake talking on the other side of my curtain. Realizing I’m finally safe from the Comps and Shredders, realizing our family is together, soothes my physical pain. Too bad it can’t wipe my memory. This time, I wish my curse
had
triggered a memory-zapping blackout.

Will Burn remember what happened? One way or the other, I’m not sure how I’ll face him, but I need to move past it. I’m safe, I’ve got my family—I can live without Burn. I have to.

Drake and I spend the morning touring the Settlement with Dad and talking about whether I’ll continue with training—they call it
school
here—and what I might like to do with my life. Overwhelmed by choices, I don’t want to rush it. All I know is I want to do something safe, something where I’m helping others, and something where I can be home every evening to see Dad and Drake.

By midafternoon, a man delivers a handwritten message. Dad doesn’t look happy.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Nothing you kids need to worry about.” He reaches for his jacket.

“Are you going out?” Drake asks. “My legs could use a stretch.”

Dad nods. “You and Glory should walk down to the lake.”

“I want to go with you.” Drake sounds much younger than thirteen.

Dad shakes his head. “I’m going to the pub. For a grownup meeting.”

“What’s the pub?” Drake asks. “I want to go to the pub.”

I put my hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Dad obviously doesn’t want us around.”

Dad’s expression softens. Then he sighs. “I guess it won’t do any harm. You guys can wait while I have my meeting, then we’ll all head down to the lake. How does that sound?”

“Sounds great.” Drake leaps up and hugs Dad, and I can’t remember when I’ve felt this happy. My insides are glowing.

The pub is similar to the place where we ate yesterday, but in addition to the chairs and tables, it has a long wooden counter at one side. Talk and laughter fill the air, and I can’t wipe the grin from my face—why would I want to? Then I see Rolph, the army commander. My grin vanishes.

The tall man rises from behind his table and stares at me as if he wants something. For an instant I’m scared he thinks I’m special in the same way that General Phadon did, but I
brush that frightening theory aside. My father ushers Drake and me to the table at the opposite side of the room and orders us glasses of something called milk. Then he joins Rolph.

Our milk arrives, carried by a smiling woman wearing a striped apron. Milk’s a thick, white liquid that doesn’t smell like much, but I can’t gather the courage to take a sip—especially once she tells us it came out of a cow. Drake, on the other hand, drains his mug, then leans back in his chair and falls asleep.

Talking to Rolph, my father shakes his head a lot, but my view is of the back of his head and I can’t hear a thing over the noise. I double-check that Drake isn’t likely to fall off his chair, and then walk slowly toward Dad and Rolph, keeping my back to the stone wall and trying not to be noticed. I stop about five feet away.

“Leave her alone.” My father slams his fist on the table between them. “You will not use her. I won’t allow it.” His voice is deep and forceful, and although I have no idea what he’s protecting me from, my heart warms before guilt rises to squeeze it out. My father has already saved me enough for ten lifetimes.

“Don’t you see,” Rolph says. “She’s the only one who can do this. Given what happened, she’s uniquely positioned. Furthermore, her gift is well controlled and difficult to detect.”

“It’s too dangerous,” Dad says.

“We need her. Because of her, Burn can’t go inside anymore, and he was one of our best Extractors.”

I step forward. “What do you need?” Nerves skate
through my body, igniting excitement and fear, but I tamp them down. “How can I help?”

My father stands, and his chair shoots back, clattering to the floor. “No.” He leans on the table, positioning his body between me and Rolph.

“Dad.” I put my hand on his arm. “At least let me hear what he has to say.”

My father scowls but picks up his chair and sits down. I glance across the room to make sure Drake is still okay, then take the chair at the end of the table between them. I turn to Rolph. “You have something to ask me?”

“How would you like to be a soldier in the Freedom Army?”

“A soldier?” I swallow, hard. “I’m not strong or fast.”

“You have other ways to be valuable.” The intensity in his eyes scares me, so I look down to study the grain in the wooden table.

If he asks me to kill for him, I won’t do it. “What is the army doing?” I ask. “Moving Deviants out one by one?”

Rolph leans back. “There’s more to it than that.”

“What?”

“Our mission is to overthrow Management. Free the so-called employees.”

“How?”

He shakes his head. “The less you know the better. No time to put you through Torture Resistance Training.”

I shudder. “But you said I’d be valuable?”

“Management thinks you were kidnapped,” he says. “If we can get you back inside, you have a valid employee number
and can live without hiding. You can work for us from the inside.”