Destiny Lingers (25 page)

“Yes, I have.” Mrs. McKenzie smiles again, although she still looks uncomfortable.

“Well, you let me know if I can get you anything, you hear?” Missy kisses Mrs. McKenzie on the cheek, throws a smile at me, and then disappears as quickly as she came.

“Destiny,” Mrs. McKenzie says, looking hard at me. “That is the girl I want for my Chase.”

“I see,” I say, but what I really see is a mother who may be willing to join in on a plot against her son just to get her own country leg up in society. “But what about Chase?” I ask. “What does he want?”

“He wants what his mother wants,” she answers. “What is best for him.”

I smile. “Are you sure? That he wants what you want?”

Mrs. McKenzie stares at me with a frozen smile.

Suddenly, the sky begins to darken, as if it’s reflecting Mrs. McKenzie’s mood.

“Well, we’d better go in,” Mrs. McKenzie says as she frowns up at the darkening sky. “Dear God, this looks like a bad one.”

“Mrs. McKenzie! Mrs. McKenzie!” As if on cue, even before I have a chance to offer my help, Missy reappears. “Let’s get you inside, for God’s sake!” Missy’s once perfectly coiffed hair is now blowing in the wind, which is now picking up even more speed.

“Lord, I pray it’s not going to rain on Sissy’s party,” Missy whines as she looks up to the sky. “Please, God, don’t let it rain.”

For such a deceptive girl, she certainly does ask God for a lot.

A crack of thunder breaks, and a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky.

“Oh, my God!” Sissy screams. “
Mama!”

Squealing girls run everywhere as the wind gusts and blows. The dainty pre-wedding decorations begin to come unhinged. The tents sway under the force of the wind. Guests and waiters frantically run across the large lawn in hope of beating the rain and getting inside the country club. It suddenly begins raining so hard that most of us don’t have a chance of making it to shelter dry. Some tables and chairs have blown over and tablecloths are strewn across the ground. Everyone is scrambling and fighting the wind and driving rain.

A water-soaked and tear-drenched Sissy is crying uncontrollably, her hair wet and her perfect makeup now streaming down her cheeks in black streaks. Her sodden friends and family flutter about her, patting her back in an attempt to soothe her frayed nerves.

“It’s ruined!” she cries. “Everything is just ruined!”

The weary, wet women gather inside the country club lobby, wondering what in the world to do next. The bad weather, messed-up hair, wet clothes, and ruined makeup have certainly put a damper on the spirit and mood of Sissy’s big celebration. Some guests are leaving, in a hurry to get home before the storm gets worse.

“Well, we were about done anyway,” Missy’s mother says, trying to find a rainbow in the storm. “Thanks so much for coming, everybody. Be careful getting home; it’s really bad out there.”

Everyone rushes to say good-bye to a sad, disappointed, and pouting Sissy.

“I just want to go home,” she whines.

“Well, honey, we can’t just leave right now. We got a lot to do. I’ve got to settle up here.” Mrs. McKay pushes her rain-drenched hair off her face.

The good-looking cadet steps up. “I’ll be happy to take her home.” Missy looks up with surprise, as a bright smile blossoms across her face like sunshine.

“I’ll go with you,” she offers.

The dutiful cadet beams. “Be glad to give you both a lift.”

“Derrick, you are
so
sweet,” Missy oozes, slightly touching the cadet’s strong arm, as they prepare to leave. “Sissy and I thank you so much for your nice offer.”

I can’t believe this is happening right before my eyes.

“Go straight home now, Missy,” her mother warns. “It’s very dangerous out there.”

“Of course I will, Mama. I’ll be there in a jiffy.” A suddenly perky Missy bounces out the door with the handsome cadet. She didn’t even say good-bye.

I can’t take anymore of this deception. I can’t witness anymore of this shameful lie or this looming disappointment. Someone has to alert Chase. But who? I’ve to get out of here. Like the darkening skies over Carolina today, I too am about to burst.

Chapter
Thirty-One

M
aybe it was all of those teardrops I cried again last night that has brought on even more rain this morning. I peer through puffy eyes to see that it is still pouring, with the ocean and the sky as dark and gray and tormented as my soul. The wind is still as ferocious as it was all throughout the night, hurling masses of raindrops against the doors and windows, riddling and rattling them like shotgun bullets. If I weren’t so emotionally despondent this morning, I might actually be afraid. Instead, I stand here, fearlessly staring out the window, watching rivers of rain streaming down the windowpane, as rivers of tears stream down my cheeks.

Whatever happened between Chase and me on his boat has emotionally wrecked me. Whatever it was between us unlocked something buried, hidden, and frozen deep inside of me—something that I tried hard to ignore for years; something that I buried so deep in my soul that I simply forgot, ignored, and dismissed it. This is love.

But how can God be so cruel as to deny me Chase for a second time? What if Missy convinces Chase to be with her? Could I handle that pain? We are finally living in a day where we are able to go public, out in the open, freely expressing our love and commitment to each other, despite our racial and cultural differences. Finally, after all of these years of hiding, we can be free. Except Chase is not totally free. Someone else beckons his love.

Is God playing a mean trick on me?

A loud and powerful thunderclap startles me out of my self-pity with a crushing boom. It’s as if God has just answered my question—or maybe He was offended by it. Another huge bolt of lightning strikes out over the sea, followed only seconds after by a deafening clap of thunder. As kids, we used to count the number of seconds between the lightning and thunder to serve as a gauge of how far away the storm was. Based on nature’s flash-and-boom performance just now, the storm isn’t far away at all.

The telephone rings, as it has been all night and morning, but again, I refuse to answer it. I don’t want to talk to anybody. I am not in the mood, but that damn phone keeps on ringing and ringing, and it’s starting to drive me crazy. I want silence. I want to be left alone. I just want to keep standing here, staring out the window, watching raindrops through teardrops through the pain, as I question God, love, and myself.

Is it so wrong to want what feels true and right? Is it such a crime to continue loving the same man I have loved all of my life?

God, am I too late?

The telephone rings again. Exasperated and agitated, I surrender and answer the damn thing.

“Hello,” I hiss, my voice searing the telephone line.

“Destiny?”

I melt.

“This is your father. Are you okay? Your mother and I have been trying to get hold of you all day.”

I have rarely heard Daddy so concerned. “Yes, Daddy, I was just tired, that’s all.” I try to sound chipper. “I was sleeping all day.”

“Sounds like you’ve been crying all day,” Mother chimes in, having picked up the other line.

“I’m okay. Really.”

“Well, have you been watching the news?” There’s urgency in Daddy’s voice. “The weather service has issued a hurricane warning, and we think maybe you should get out of there and come on home before this thing hits.”

“A hurricane warning?” I am dazed.

“Yes, they’re reporting that it’s going to be a pretty big one this time.” Daddy has clearly been glued to the news all day. “Right now, she’s off the coast of Bermuda, but they’re saying that by morning, Hurricane Belinda might be slamming into Topsail.”

Daddy’s words seem pressing, and I know the information is vital, but his voice becomes a muffled sound in the howling rain. It is hard for me to focus on whatever he’s talking about right now. I couldn’t care less if a hurricane is heading this way. I don’t even care if it hits this house. In fact, Hurricane Belinda can take the whole damn island if she wants. But I’ll be right here with it, going nowhere. Nothing matters more to me than staying exactly right where I am. Right here. In Tranquility.

“Destiny, are you there?” Now Mother sounds concerned.

“Y-yes, Mother, I’m here.”

“Do I need to come back down there?”

“Oh no!” I blurt. “You don’t have to do that. Look how bad the weather is.”

“Is it raining there?”

“Pouring,” I confess. “But I’m sure it’ll pass. Y’all know how those weather reports are. Every year this time, they warn about some hurricane hitting us, but it never does. Chances are it’ll just blow over again. Please, don’t worry about me.”

“We always worry about you, Dee,” Mother says with a sigh.

“Yeah, honey, you don’t want to get caught down there on the ocean in a bad storm and a high tide.”

“I’ll be okay, Daddy. Promise.”

“Well, call us later. You might change your mind. We’ll come get you if you want.”

“Thanks, Daddy. I’ll be fine.”

“And turn on the TV, for goodness’ sake.”

“I will, Mother.”

I hang up the phone and look out the window at the torrential downpour again. The sea grass is blowing and bending so hard in the ferocious wind that the tips are about to touch the sand. Mother Ocean seems agitated and angry, churning and hurling her huge gray waves so fiercely against the beaten shore that big, fluffy patches of white sea foam are now blowing down the beach, like tumbleweeds across the sand.

The telephone rings once again, but this time, without hesitating, I pick it up, expecting to hear Mother with one last thing she forgot to mention.

“Ye-es?” I answer sarcastically. “Wha-at else?”

“Destiny?”

My heart suddenly skips, sinks, swells, and swoons. I feel so discombobulated that I swear my bottom just dropped out. I am nervous. I am scared. I am completely lost for words. It’s Chase.

“Destiny?” And there, in the midst of this violent storm, is the sweet sound of his voice calling my name once again—in that same cautious and careful way I remember him calling my name so many times before. I remember the sound of his voice, even as a child, whispering across the sound, through the darkness, where he would invite me to share the moonlight with him. We shared stories, and secrets, and special collections, and, as we got older, we shared our dreams, fears, and hopes for the future.

“Destiny? It’s Chase. Are you all right?”

“Yeah …”

“I’m worried about you, Dee. I’ve been trying to reach you since last night.” I can hear concern and care in his voice, which only makes talking to him more difficult.

“I’m okay. Just trying to stay out of the rain.”

“Oh, it’s more than just rain, Destiny,” Chase warns. “Hurricane Belinda is heading directly toward us. We’re keeping a close eye on the storm, praying that she decides to change directions and heads out to sea, but if it gets any worse—if Big Belinda gets much closer—we’re going to ask everybody to evacuate the island.”

“Evacuate?” I ask in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Very serious. Aren’t you watching the news, ‘Big City’? They say it’s going to be pretty bad. We haven’t had a hurricane hit in almost fifty years, but that doesn’t mean this one won’t. Keep an ear out, okay?”

“Okay,” I promise, fumbling to turn on the television.

“And Destiny?”

“Yeah?” I am distracted, waiting for the picture to come into view.

“Again, about the other day—I swear I meant no harm. I just—”

“You what, Chase? You made a huge mistake? Yeah. We both did.”

Silence.

“Well, that’s not exactly what I was going to say,” Chase says in a low and humble voice. “I was going to say that I really, really do care about you, Destiny. I always have. Always will.”

“Chase—”

“Hold on; hear me out. Just lemme finish. Destiny, I just don’t want to lie any longer.”

“Lie? About what?” I am not sure what Chase is referring to.

“I don’t want to lie about us, about how I feel about you. I didn’t get a bit of sleep last night, thinking about you, about what you might be thinking about what happened between us. I want us to sit down and talk about everything, like adults, just as soon as this storm is over and everything calms down.”

“Maybe it’s too late, Chase.” I have to face the reality that I’m afraid. “Maybe too much time has passed.”

“And you’re going to try to convince me that that’ll make you happy? You’re going to try to tell me that you didn’t feel something between us? That what we’ve felt since the day we first laid eyes on each other isn’t real? You know and I know that this special thing between us is not a lie, Dee,” Chase says, his voice cracking.

“Then are you going to marry Missy? Huh? Answer that? Are you?”

“No, Destiny. I am not going to marry Missy. I want to marry you. Can’t you see?”

A loud clap of thunder sends static through the line.

“Chase, I’m already hurting from one man who claimed to care about me and then changed his mind. I can’t take another blow to my heart like that.”

“Destiny, I would never hurt you that way.”

“I don’t know, Chase,” I say, feeling overwhelmed by the storm at sea and my own private storm of emotions.

“Look, Destiny, I’ve gotta go. There’s a lot on our plate today with the storm and all. But please, let’s take some time and talk about all of this, once everything settles down, okay? I don’t know what to do, but I know I don’t want to lose you again.”

And I don’t know what to say, so I just stand here holding the phone and staring at the TV screen. The continuous crawl at the bottom warns viewers that a serious hurricane is packing winds and heading our way. I have never seen Topsail Island on a weather map, never even heard the tranquil little island mentioned in the news, but today, it’s threatened by a tropical storm and is headlining the national news, with people all over the country taking bets on whether she’ll actually slam our little island.

Somehow, the storms of life seem far worse right now.

“If we get another chance, I think we should take it, Destiny. I think that we should grab it with both hands and not let it go.”

Another loud clap of rumbling thunder interrupts before I can respond.

“Let me think about it, Chase,” I finally answer. And as weird as this situation is, in this one divine and unexpected second in time, I actually do believe in something. I believe in—

“
Destiny …”
I hear a soft whisper.
“Always believe in Des
tiny.”

And I know that deep in my heart, that is the spirit of my aunt Joy, talking to me. She is right here with me. “
Never give up on people,”
I hear, as she often reminded me. “
Never give up on
love.”

So I make a new promise to be more open today, to believe in destiny, love, and never giving up on people—not even myself. I have also learned to never underestimate the power of pain or the tremendous power of love.