Destined to Feel (28 page)

I cross my legs and rest my palm against my chin, taking a moment to contemplate my next move. I decide we could probably both do with a drink so I walk over to her, bound and silent in the corner of the room and give her a gentle kiss on the lips.

‘I’ll be back in a minute.’

‘Jeremy, you can’t leave me like this!’

‘Oh, good, you’re talking again. I need more words, sweetheart. I need to know how you’re feeling at all times. Have a think about that while I’m gone.’ I can’t resist giving her a quick slap on the butt to ensure I have her attention. The look on her face confirms I do now.

I return to the room with a chilled bottle of Sancerre in an ice bucket with two glasses.

‘Thirsty?’

She nods.

I slide the chilled bottle along her raised arm and slide it along the contour of her body. She shivers against the cold sensation on her hot body. ‘I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t hear you.

Would you like a drink?’

‘Yes. Please.’

I open the bottle, pour some into a glass and take a quick sip before gently raising it to her lips to taste. ‘Do you like it?’

‘Perfect.’

‘As are you.’ I can’t resist a quick suck on her nipple and she gasps. ‘When you go all quiet on me I worry you’re not enjoying yourself.’

‘You know I am.’

‘More?’

‘Yes, please.’

‘Here, have a bigger mouthful. It’s too good not to. Ready?’ She swallows quickly, which is just as well because she lets out a laugh.

‘Jeremy! You can’t leave me hanging like this.’

‘Hmm, I can actually, both literally and figuratively.’

‘But I know you won’t.’

‘True.’ I take a mouthful of the wine and place it back in the bucket.

‘So many things to play with in this room, don’t you think?’

‘Yes.’ A single word from a voice full of lust.

I pick up a piece of ice from the bucket. ‘You were getting a little hot and flustered before so I thought the ice might cool you down.’ I slide it under her arms, across her breasts, taking time to circle her nipples, then her bellybutton before inserting it into her sex and closing her legs between the strength of my own.

‘But we’ve done this before, haven’t we?’ Our faces are close to each other, her breathing is becoming erratic.

‘Yes.’

‘And you liked it?’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Tell me how much.’

‘I liked it a lot.’

‘With another man, is that what you liked, Alexa? Having two of us at the same time?’ Her cheeks instantly blush at the memory or my question, perhaps both.

‘I liked it, but I love being with you more.’

‘More than this? More than what we are doing now?’

‘No. I like this more.’

‘Well, that’s good to know, I appreciate your honesty.’ I release her legs and walk towards the bed.

‘And what about this, my love? Did you like this, too?’ I pick up the blindfold from our weekend and run its fabric beneath my fingers.

Her body goes limp as her sex glistens between her thighs. Her arms keep her in place, high above her head.

‘Tell me.’

‘Yes, I loved it.’

I move over to her and gently slide the silk across her face, across her mouth and finally over her eyes.

‘Oh, Jeremy.’

‘Tell me what it means to you.’

‘It symbolises everything. Us being together…discovery.’

‘Go on, Alexa, please. I need to know,’ I encourage as I continue floating it over her body, seeing what sensations it will elicit, what emotions.

‘You awakening my body again, sexually, just as you are now. You opened me up, Jeremy, finally allowed me to feel like I’d never felt before.’

I slide it between her thighs and she gasps. My cock instantly reacts to her movement.

‘You’re the last person I need to convince about the impact of visual stimulation.’ I rest it over her shoulder so it dangles down her back and on to her nipple. I will never take her sight away again unless she explicitly asks me to, of that I am sure. Right at this moment, I want her to be able to see everything.

‘But what about this?’ I hold up a black leather crop with a red paddle on the end.

‘I’ve never seen it before.’ Her breath is short and light, her breasts rising and falling rapidly with the intensity of her arousal. It’s fascinating to watch.

‘No, you haven’t seen it before, but you have certainly felt it.’ I slide it across her belly, under her breasts, over her nipples, in between the cheeks of her buttocks and finally between her thighs as though I’m delicately playing with the bow of a violin, tuning her body.

She closes her eyes and releases low, rumbling moans as I complete these strokes and the sexual energy in the room heightens and intensifies. The response is sudden and shocking. Her paroxysm occurs the second it slides between her legs and I hold her body firmly against mine in case she does herself damage. I feel the rhythm pumping through her as she gasps and groans, struggling against the sensations ambushing her body.

Christ! I’ve never witnessed anything like this. It takes me a moment to think to release her wrists from the beam, it happens so quickly. I hold her body off the floor with one hand and struggle with the connector for a moment before it releases and she collapses into my arms.

‘My god, Alexa, what’s happening? Are you all right?’ I hastily move her convulsing body to the bed, wondering whether she has had some form of seizure and I lie with her firmly in my arms until the shudders subside enough for her to regain focus. In the meantime, I carefully wipe her hair away from her face, desperate to look into her eyes. ‘Sweetheart, are you hurt? What just happened?’

She smiles up at me beneath her thick lashes and kisses my chest.

I thank god she seems to be all right.

‘Alexa, please, tell me. What happened? What was all that about?’

‘Wow, that was intense. The most intense ever.’

‘What are you talking about? Here, let me get you some water. Are you hurt?’

‘Hurt, goodness no, but it’s a bit embarrassing, isn’t it?’

‘This has happened before?’

‘It’s been happening since our weekend together, but never anything like that. I suppose it is because it’s the first time we’ve played since our weekend, the blindfold, the crop…it’s the symbolism of what they represent to me…the memories, the feelings, my god.’ She pants out her words trying to catch her breath before taking a sip of water and collapsing back on the bed.

‘Just give me a minute. That was really full on.’

My brain is working on overdrive and competing with my rising-back-to-the-occasion cock

— now that I know she is unharmed. My cock is thrilled when Alexa’s hands hastily remove my briefs and she wraps her naked body around mine, but my brain still registers concern.

‘Sweetheart, you need to’-

‘Enough with the talking, Jeremy. I need you inside me and I won’t be taking no for an answer.’ All coherent thoughts instantly vanish from my mind and my body takes over all control, as does hers…

Alexa

What a surprise! How they managed it without me knowing, I’ll never know. I think I spent the first hour or two crying when I finally had Elizabeth and Jordan back in my arms, which confused them no end. I had to keep telling them they were tears of joy, because they wondered what on earth was wrong with their mummy after the first fifteen minutes. We have had the most fantastic four days; it just couldn’t have been more perfect. We’ve been to Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom and to the Epcot Centre today. We have played and laughed and eaten so much food. I’ve been trying to put off Typhoon Lagoon until my body is respectable and love bite-free enough to be seen in a swimsuit after my last night on the boat with Jeremy. My body delights in the sexy memory; hopefully, we should be clear to go tomorrow. Everyone of us is happily exhausted and I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling since we all got together.

I keep checking on the kids while they sleep, ensuring they are tucked in and kissing them gently on the forehead. I am constantly thankful I have been blessed to have them in my life. They fill my heart with peace and love. I close the door as quietly as possible behind me, so I don’t disturb their slumber. The smile on my face is a direct reflection of how immensely happy and alive I feel, on holiday with my new family unit. I almost need to pinch myself to believe that things have gone so well.

Jeremy has been fantastic with Jordan and Elizabeth. He’s managed to achieve that almost impossible balance of both friendship and respected authority figure. So far they have accepted him into their lives far more favourably than I could ever have hoped for; fingers crossed it continues. It seems as if the family discussion that Robert and I had with the kids, way back before I left for London, prepared them more than I’d anticipated for the change in their parents’

lives. Funny how children can be far more accepting of such change than adults. They know they are dearly loved by both of us and that’s what counts the most.

Jeremy is on the lounge, looking gorgeous, casual and relaxed as he checks his messages on his phone. My heart could burst with the enormity of the love I feel for the people in this apartment. He diverts his attention from his phone to me, his face broadening in a smile. I don’t remember ever feeling this way: as if I could literally overflow with happiness. It’s oozing out of me.

‘How are they?’ His outstretched arm snuggles me into the warmth of his body.

‘Perfect, just perfect. They are absolutely exhausted from the trip over and the sheer excitement of having a week at Walt Disney World. I think they’ll be sound asleep for a while.’

‘You look happy.’

‘I couldn’t be happier. I can’t quite believe this is my reality, after everything that we’ve been through. I could pinch myself.’

‘No need for you to do that, Alexa. I’m always happy to help.’ I raise my eyebrows at him, give him a light pinch instead and snuggle in closer.

‘They’re great kids, Alexa. You and Robert have done a great job. You should both be very proud.’

‘We are, J,’ I beam, ‘but I’m even happier that they seem to be accepting you in my life.’

‘I hope so. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I lost you again, sweetheart. I can’t bear to think about it.’ A twinge of a frown creases his brow, his hand absently playing with the loose hair at the back of my neck, twisting and turning it between his fingers.

‘What’s wrong, Jeremy? Did you receive a message?’ I glance towards his phone.

‘Not yet, still no sign of Josef and it seems as though Madeleine de Jurilique has vanished into thin air. As Jeremy continues, I send a silent prayer to the universe that Josef is safely back with his wife, particularly after everything he risked for me. I’ll feel much better about this whole situation when they know where she is and ensure she is no longer a threat. Salina’s still on the trail with another agent, but hasn’t been able to uncover anything further about her whereabouts. I also just received an email from Sam, who sends his love. He’s on his way back to Australia after catching up with some of the others.’

This attracts my immediate attention. ‘What’s happened with the forum? I can’t believe I haven’t asked.’

‘It’s the last thing you needed to think or worry about, Alexa. It’s been indefinitely postponed. I don’t want you being involved in it at all now, sweetheart. It’s too risky.’

I don’t argue with him. Just nod in agreement as he holds me tight. I know I’m not ready for anything like the global forum just yet. I want everything to return to normal, for a while at least, if that’s possible. I need to draw breath and be a mum and get used to my new duties as the love of Jeremy’s life. Gosh, my heart could just explode. I look up at Jeremy’s face and see that it has become anxious, almost angry.

‘I can’t believe Lauren Bertrand betrayed me, betrayed us, like that. The thought that she put you in such danger… It’s outrageous. Passing on information of your whereabouts, leaking our results to Madame Jurilique and Xsade, all for an expense account here or a free holiday there…

It just infuriates me how people can live their lives so selfishly, never considering the consequences of their actions on other people. If you hadn’t bumped into her in Singapore, maybe things would never have gone this far.’

‘From what I know of Madame Goldy, she would have found a way to get to me with or without the assistance of Lauren, Jeremy. She’s really not the sort of person you want to mess with. I promise you.’

‘After what she put you through, that bi —’

‘Jeremy, please, I don’t want to talk about her. It’s disrupting my blissful state.’

‘Sorry, sweetheart, I know, it’s just that it still makes me so angry.’

‘It’s okay, we’re good. We’re here together, just as we should be. My children are safe and well. Robert’s meeting with Adam. All we need to do is work out the simpler details of our lives, like which country we should live in —‘

‘Plenty of time to work that out, my love. We still have another few fun-filled days at the never-ending supply of theme parks and I want you to finally meet with Leo in person before we head back Tasmania.’

‘You mean, Charlie? You are honestly going to introduce me to Leo after all these years?’

‘Not just you my love, the kids too. He wants us to spend some time with him when he returns from the Amazon. He managed to get in touch with Moira.’

Wow, I can’t believe it. I’ve also wanted to meet the most important man in your life. We must be special.’ I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of serenity, as if all barriers are finally dissolving between us so we can become a true partnership.

‘You, and your children, are the most important people in my life, Alexandra. I’ll love you and protect you until my dying breath.’

Could more perfect words ever be spoken? I’m in love more than I ever, ever imagined or believed possible. What a wonder!

EPILOGUE

There’s a knock at the door and Jeremy extricates himself from our interlude on the lounge.

Probably Martin doing his usual check that everything is fine with our little foursome. I hug the pillow to replace Jeremy’s absence. We really need to discuss where we will live and how our lives and our careers, can be managed. I suppose we need to wait to find out about Robert and Adam before we can make any firm decisions, as neither one of us will want to be separated from Elizabeth and Jordan. I try to put this out of my mind as it can’t be resolved yet. We’ll work it out eventually.