Desperately Seeking Suzanna (8 page)

The crowd was thick, and somewhere in this mass of society’s elite stood Suzanna. His eyes drifted over the dance floor, searching for a smallish lady. The phrase “needle in a haystack” came to mind. But he’d come here to find her—and find her he would.

“There are well over a hundred ladies here, and most of them are moving around. This could take all evening,” Thornwood complained as a group of ladies passed by, none of whom were Suzanna.

“You act as if a moment spent in a ballroom will poison you for life,” Holden returned, not taking his eyes from the dance floor. “This will be simple. I’ll find her within a matter of minutes. Before you know it, you’ll be back drinking in one of those lovely hovels you so enjoy.” He pulled his eyes from their task for a moment to shoot a grin at his friend.

“Very well. Just over five feet, you said? You couldn’t be searching for a tall chit. No, it would have to be a tiny, hard-to-find one.”

Holden determined she was not on the dance floor after only a few minutes. He would have to search the area under the balcony. Thankful for his height, he peered over the ocean of heads surrounding him. There, just inside the main doors leading to the hall beyond, stood the Fairlyns. Troublesome chits. They’d better be correct about Suzanna’s whereabouts, for he didn’t see Suzanna anywhere around them.

He turned, a sneer still lingering on his face. “I’ve spotted her friends by the first column near the main door. She must be nearby. Let’s make our way in that direction.”

“By the first column, you say?” Thornwood abandoned his drink on a pedestal holding a large vase of roses and moved to follow. Personally, Holden was of the opposite mindset. He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing footman and drained it in one swallow. Handing the empty glass to another footman, he rounded the corner of the dance floor.

Lady Popensford stepped into his path with a coy smile and a toss of her jewel-encrusted head. “Good evening,” he offered, attempting to move past her.

“Lord Steelings, it’s wonderful to see you this season. I’m out of mourning now, you know.”

“I can see that. Blue is certainly your color, my lady. The late Lord Popensford is without a doubt jealous of my eyes this evening, God rest his soul.”

“Oh my lord, you do know how to flatter a lady.” She batted her eyes in his direction, clearly wanting their conversation to continue.

He did not. Not tonight. Not with Suzanna somewhere in the room. With a nod of his head he moved on, chuckling at the barely audible humph of feminine disapproval at his back. Progress, however, was slow in such a crowd. After slipping past a group of young ladies without pause, he spotted Lady Mosley. He was about to dive to the side to avoid being seen, and avoid spending the next hour in a conversation he couldn’t escape, when she saw him. He dipped his head in a bow, hiding his grimace of exasperation within the motion.

By the time his eyes once again met hers, a pleasant look of greeting covered his face. “My lady, you’re looking well.”

“Lord Steeee-lings, I’m so very pleeee-ased to see you this evening.” How did the woman draw one sentence out to last a lifetime? His quarry this evening could be dancing with someone else right now. Or she could leave early and he would lose her once again.

“Likewise, my lady.” He glanced around to see if Thornwood was still following him through the crowd and saw he’d paused in conversation as well. Holden sighed and offered Lady Mosley a charming smile.

“I loooooked for you when I was in Paris last year. It was odd; nooone of my company could plaaaace you.”

“You must keep good company.”

“Of cooooourse I do.”

“I don’t. Paris is much more interesting in the shadows.”

“You rooooogue.” She hit his arm with her fan with a chuckle. “My loooord, are you acquainted with Lady Tottings?” She indicated the lady at her side with a wave of the fan.

Libby—he’d recognize those lips anywhere. Had it been four years already? Too bad the Sarah and Emily situation had brought that to an end. Although he would have ended things soon anyway. She’d aged well. He bowed over her hand. “Of course. We became acquainted some time ago. Lady Tottings, ravishing as usual.”

“Lord Steelings, it flatters me greatly that you remember our…” She paused to clear her throat. “Friendship. It was some years ago. So long ago that I can barely remember it.” The blush on her cheeks said otherwise.

“Truly? I remember it quite vividly.” Holden grinned at her discomfort.

When she only made a small sound of alarm in response and Lady Mosley was distracted by her blushing, thinking her overheated, Holden saw his opportunity to slip away. “If you will excuse me, ladies. There is someone I must go speak with.”

Lady Mosley glanced up from her vigorous fanning of her friend’s face to offer a nod of farewell. “Very well. Dooooo come around for tea soon, my lord.”

“I shall.” He was already moving toward the promise of Suzanna, if he could only get to her. Another lady was trying to catch his eye as he passed. “Lovely ball, yet not as lovely as you this evening,” he tossed out without a second’s pause to hear her response. He was almost there.

When yet another woman saw him coming and tried to block his path, he swore under his breath. How many ladies were in this damned ballroom? Were there not any men left in the city of London? With a quick motion, he stepped around her, calling over his shoulder, “Lady Channings, it’s been years. We must become reacquainted soon.”
Soon but not now
, he finished to himself as he turned back to his mission.

Pushing past gathered groups of chatting society matrons, he made his way toward the Fairlyns. What would he say once he reached them? He supposed he could demand to see her, in a nice manner of course. But then what would he say to Suzanna once he saw her? He almost turned back to think it over, yet he’d come this far.

Just then the crowd shifted enough that he could see the people gathered at the base of the column with the Fairlyns. It looked to be an army of young ladies. The twins he knew. Then there were a tall blonde, a tall brunette, and a small lady who he vaguely recognized from the masquerade unmasking.

“Bloody hell,” he heard Thornwood say at his side.

He would have asked what had his friend cursing in the middle of a ballroom, but he was too busy looking around for Suzanna. Where was she? Not bloody well here, to take his friend’s sentiments and extrapolate on them. Then his eyes landed on the small lady in the pale rose gown, the lady who had turned white as a sheet upon seeing him. The same lady who was now staring at him and looking terribly guilty. He would begin with her. She would lead him to Suzanna. He knew it.

With a smile at what certainly lay ahead this evening, he bowed in greeting to the lady in rose.

“Mother, I’ll be in the ballroom with Victoria and Isabelle if you have need of me.” Sue didn’t wait for her mother to respond before she was gone. The door to the retiring room slammed shut behind her. The paintings and doorways of the Dillsworth home slid by in a blur of rich colors as she put as much space between her mother and herself as possible.

If she had to listen to any more intense discussions about which necklace Evangeline should wear this evening, whether it was the best choice of necklaces, or thoughts on whether the one chosen sparkled enough, she was quite likely to choke her mother with said necklace.

Sue rounded the corner into the ballroom, slowing her pace to a ladylike stroll. Attempting a calming breath, she inhaled a large amount of rose-scented air. Calming breaths were supposed to settle one, weren’t they? She should have known she wouldn’t be calm this evening. Not here. Calm and the first large ball of her last season didn’t mix. Candlelight from a thousand candles reflected off the glass-paneled ceiling, raining down like tiny stars on all of London’s social elite below.

Pushing past a group of elderly gentlemen debating politics, she skirted two groups of ladies before she found a free space of floor near a column. Where were Isabelle and Victoria? Rising to her toes, she peered around the room. She’d never find them in this crush, never mind trying to find a gentleman to save her from her disappointing future. She didn’t see any likely candidates on this side of the ballroom.

Glancing back over at the elderly gentlemen, she eyed them for husband potential. Only one wore a monocle. He was her best bet because of the poor vision. Her mother had always said she should find a husband who didn’t mind plain looks, so what better choice than a half-blind man? Just then a lady sauntered up to him in a dark crimson gown and wrapped her hand around his arm. She tossed her head in laughter, showing off the gleam of diamonds at her neck. Just Sue’s luck—even the old, doddering ones were taken. She was doomed.

She supposed this would be the last time she would attend this event. By next season, she would be packed off to spend an eternity with Great-Aunt Mildred. Turning her attention to the dance floor, she watched the swirl of colors sweep past, not really seeing anything. Perhaps somewhere on that dance floor was a marriageable man. Of course, if he was on the dance floor, he was dancing with another lady. That lady most likely had beauty and a large dowry. Sue had neither. But surely there had to be some titled yet penniless or untitled yet wealthy gentleman here who would marry her simply because…

He would overlook her appearance, excessive chatter, and small dowry because… Because… “Blast it all.” He wouldn’t.

Had she just cursed aloud? Had anyone heard that?

She glanced around to see which matron she’d now offended and saw a tall, willowy figure hovering beside the nearby column. The woman clearly hadn’t heard, for she didn’t turn around or even flinch. Of course, she may not have been capable of flinching with a spine that straight. Her blond hair was secured in too tight a knot at the back of her neck. Truly, her hairpins must be painful. Could she blink, or were her eyes permanently open?

Sue craned her neck to see the lady’s face. That’s when she realized she knew this lady. “Lillian?”

Sue took a step closer, waiting for her friend to turn in her direction. “Lillian! I knew that must be you! It’s been ages!”

“Sue!” Lillian exclaimed, bright blue eyes twinkling in the light of the ballroom. “You have no idea how happy I am to see a friendly face here tonight. It’s been ages, has it not? We must catch up!”

“Yes, we certainly must! Isn’t this ball exquisite?” Sue smiled, trying not to think about the prospect of finding a suitor here or her impending doom come the end of the season. “I always love attending the Dillsworth affairs. Have you tried the cakes in the parlor yet? They never last very long, especially the ones filled with strawberry jam.”

That would certainly be Sue’s next stop, for she hadn’t eaten all evening and a cake sounded divine at the moment. She would move in that direction in a few minutes when she was done chatting with her old friend. “You would think from year to year they would realize the popularity of the cakes and prepare more. But alas, we are forced to clamor over a single table of sweets as soon as we arrive to get one. Who are you here with?”

“Two of my brothers are here as my chaperones. One is getting me a drink and the other I choose not to think about.” Lillian’s eyes narrowed at the mention of her brother. “Who is with you this evening?”

“My family. You remember my sister, Evangeline. It’s her come-out this year. She is preening in the upstairs ladies’ retiring room at the moment. You probably remember how she is, unable to take more than two steps away from a mirror to this day. It’s rather annoying, if I can be honest,” Sue finished with a laugh.

It felt nice to laugh and to be honest. Something inside her relaxed. Perhaps she wouldn’t find a husband here. Perhaps she would be forced to move to Scotland and live without chocolate for the remainder of her days. But tonight she would enjoy visiting with Lillian. Tonight she would watch couples dance around the floor while she ate cakes. Tonight she would live life. Lillian’s voice pulled her back to the present.

“I believe Evangeline must have been ten years old when last I saw her. I don’t want to think about how young we were. Does this mean you’re not yet married?”

Sue’s reverie about her moment of freedom ended with that reminder. “This is my fifth season, if you can believe that. If I have to return home with my mother at the end of yet another year, I may die.” She couldn’t tell Lillian the truth—not when the truth was so horrible. “And with all of the focus on Evangeline’s come-out, it’s very likely I’ll meet that doom in a few months’ time.” Sue made a slicing motion across her throat and pulled a face of pure horror. Surely that had added the necessary playful note to her tale to prevent unwanted questions.

“You mustn’t end it all when we’ve only just met up again after all these years. If it eases your mind, consider that this is my first season and I’m a year older than you.” Lillian offered a thin smile as she twisted her pearl necklace around one finger before releasing the strand and doing it again. She looked worried—and not about Sue’s threat of throat slicing.

“What happened to keep you away so long? I’ve thought to see you in London for years now. Every year I’ve kept my eye out for you, as well as some of the other girls from school, but I’d lost hope that I would see you again.”

As Lillian told Sue of her recent life, she looked down at her hands, her face falling with some deep thought, presumably about her brothers, who sounded rather vile.

Lillian seemed to need as much cheering this evening as Sue did. Perhaps this was fate’s method of tossing her a small favor in life as she drew ever closer to the season’s end—a friend for the remainder of her time in society. She grinned. “Whitby’s loss is my gain this evening, Lillian. I’m thrilled to have someone to converse with other than Evangeline and my twin cousins. Oh, here they all are now.”

The crowd of people by the door parted to allow Evangeline to enter the ballroom with Isabelle and Victoria trailing just behind her. Heads turned, and how could they not when the three most beautiful ladies among the
ton
were breezing in the door of the first ball of the season? “Lillian, you remember Evangeline. And here are Isabelle and Victoria, my cousins.”

“Lillian, how nice that you’re here. I look forward to catching up with you,” Evangeline offered in a well-rehearsed voice.

“I look forward to that as well,” Lillian returned with a genuine smile.

Sue glanced up as a tall gentleman carrying two wineglasses joined them. “Here’s your champagne, darling,” he said to Lillian, handing her a glass. “It seems you have found friends already. That’s splendid.”

This must be one of Lillian’s brothers. He was handsome in his well-tailored suit. Why had she never seen him around a ballroom before?

“We’re just becoming reacquainted. My brother, Mr. Phillips, this is Miss Green; her sister, Miss Evangeline Green; and her cousins, the Misses Fairlyn.”

“Good evening,” Mr. Phillips offered with a slight bow in their direction before turning his attention back to Lillian. “Since you’ve found friends, do you mind if I find a few of my mates?”

Lillian spoke in hushed tones for a moment. Soon her brother left and she turned back to the group. She was taking a tiny sip of her champagne just as Evangeline disappeared into the growing crowd on the dance floor with a young dark-haired man. Victoria and Isabelle were next to leave on someone’s arm, leaving Sue and Lillian behind. The group around them had now thinned as couples entered the floor for a country dance. That was when she saw him. Holden Ellis, Lord Steelings, was walking straight toward her.

“Sue? Are you well?” Lillian asked.

“Oh, yes. Quite,” she stammered. She’d known he would be here. Why did it come as such a shock to see him now? She swallowed.

“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

“In a manner, I believe I have.” He was still walking toward her. What should she say? Would he know her now? Or would Suzanna forever be her secret to bear alone? Her heart was pounding, yet no blood was reaching her brain. Perhaps she should go…where? Where could she go? Why was he looking at her with that piercing gaze?

“Clearly something has you distressed,” Lillian stated.

Distressed wasn’t quite the right emotion, but Sue preferred not to think of the proper word for now as she feared it would be more along the lines of “panic.”

“Is there something I can do? Do you need a drink? The champagne has helped my nerves considerably.” Lillian took another sip as if to prove her point.

“No, thank you. Although perhaps I could use some air.” Her voice sounded a bit too casual. Her eyes were focused on Holden. She needed to look away. Why wasn’t she looking away? She needed to leave. Now. “Will you excuse me?”

“Certainly,” Lillian replied.

Yet Sue had only taken one step away when she halted. He was too close now. She couldn’t go. She would simply have to…

“Good evening, ladies,” Holden offered, his eyes never leaving Sue.

She darted a glance away for a moment to see there was a large dark-haired man at his side who seemed to be glowering in Lillian’s direction.

“I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced. I’m Lord Steelings, and this is the Duke of Thornwood.”

At Lillian’s extended silence, Sue cleared her throat and said, “I’m Miss Green.”

Another moment ticked by in silence before the duke offered a strained, “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, my ladies.”

Sue slid a glance beside her to Lillian. Her mouth was clamped shut and her eyes wide on the duke. Clearly she was awestruck by such an infamous man of high rank. She was new to town after all. Sue felt she needed to say something to fill the dreadful silence. “Your Grace, my lord, may I introduce my childhood friend, Miss Phillips. She’s from Whitby and only arrived in town recently for the first time. Isn’t that right, Miss Phillips?”

“Miss Phillips from Whitby,” the Duke of Thornwood returned with curiosity, his eyes studying every detail of her face. “This is your first time in our fair city?”

Lillian cleared her throat before stammering a quiet, “Yes, yes it is.”

Sue turned her attention back to Holden as he observed, “Your family seems to have abandoned you here with Miss Phillips.”

“That appears to be the case. I suppose the lure of the country dance is simply too great.”

“So everyone accompanying you this evening is on the dance floor right now?”

“Well, no. My mother left to find a friend and my father is playing cards.”

“Ah, but all of your female company are on the dance floor?” He was already craning his neck to see across the room.

“Yes, they are,” she returned with more than a little bitterness in her tone. Why was he here talking to her when he clearly was only interested in her sister? Here he was, standing before her again and he still didn’t know her. Or had he already lost interest in their night together? So soon? Her heart clenched but she refused to fall apart. She had more important things to attend to this evening, like finding a husband.

Holden turned his attention back to her to ask, “Miss Green, would you care to dance? If you’re available, that is. I’m interested to hear about your family’s well-being since I saw them last in the country.”

She muttered a tight, “Certainly.” He would want to know about Evangeline, of course. Mother had arranged and predicted it; Sue simply didn’t want to believe it. She then turned to Lily with a tight smile. “I trust you will survive the duke’s company for a few minutes.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Lily said confidently, although her eyes told a different story as she fiddled with her pearl necklace.

“Yes, I have a feeling she can fend for herself quite well,” the Duke of Thornwood said with something between charm and a snarl.

Sue wasn’t quite so confident in her friend’s abilities, but she could do nothing to assist her at the moment. Not when Holden was smiling at her and extending his arm for her to hold. With a feather-light touch, Sue wrapped her hand around the wool of his coat. She didn’t want to feel the muscles under his sleeve, didn’t want to have him under her fingers again.

She was staring straight ahead as if walking to an untimely death. She’d vowed they wouldn’t touch one another again. Of course she’d also vowed she wouldn’t speak to him ever again, and she’d already broken that promise. Sighing, she glanced up at him as they walked. He appeared to be unaffected by her presence, based on the bored expression that crossed his face for a moment before he noticed she was looking and smiled.

Her fingers twitched on his arm. She longed to step away from him, put distance between them, but she couldn’t. She needed to simply act as if nothing was wrong. The dance would be over soon. He hadn’t recognized her without a mask at the last ball, and he wouldn’t know her now either. However, spending an entire dance with their hands grasping and his body close to hers was a bit distressing. Not to mention that he might know her by the manner of her dance. She took a ragged breath. The risk was too great. “I’d rather get some refreshments than dance, if you don’t mind,” she blurted out without preamble.