Desperate (Harris Trilogy Book One) (4 page)

He gave her a genuine smile
as he took the offered hand and gave it a firm shake. “Adam Williams.” He yawned and threw his legs over the side of the cot. “I had guard duty last night and thought I’d catch a little shut eye.”   

“How long have you been i
n the infantry?” It took a lot of effort to keep her voice deep, but Kate knew, to maintain her disguise, she must keep her voice sounding manly.

“One year now.
I’ve been in the same outfit the whole time. How ‘bout you?” Adam asked.       

“I’ve just joined.
This is my first time ever leaving home.” Kate did not want to answer questions. Answering questions made her nervous. She was always afraid she would slip up and cause suspicion. “It’s a little tight in here. I think I’ll step outside and get some air.”

“No, problem. It takes a while to get use
d to camp life, Jake. If you need anything, let me know.”

With a nod of her head, she hurried out
side. She feared there would be awkwardness between them, but Adam seemed nice. 

Kate s
poke to as few men as possible. She had to keep her gender a secret. She did not want to be sent back home. She was not going to marry Bob Lewis. She had to learn to be a good soldier so she could stay until she had another plan. “Another opportunity will come along for me. I have to be optimistic,” she whispered softly to herself.

****

When night arrived, Kate returned to her tent for some much needed rest and sleep. She was tired from the long train ride and the two day wagon ride to Kanway Camp. Adam was already there. He was cleaning his musket. “I’m exhausted Adam, I think I’ll turn in.”

“
I remember my first day, Jake. I was so homesick. It’ll get easier.”

“I sure hope so,” Kate whispered.
Still dressed, she lay down on the cot. If Adam thought her behavior odd, he didn’t say anything. It was going to be difficult to keep her gender a secret in the confines of the tent. He would probably become suspicious if she slept in her clothes every night, especially when the temperature would soon be rising.  

T
he next morning came too soon. She did not sleep very well for worrying. She kept thinking about her brother Jake being in a strange place just like she was now. All she could think about was how lonely he must have been when he first arrived.

Kate
did not get to worry very long. Reveille sounded at 5:00 a.m. to begin the day. She felt horrible. She needed more sleep. Hearing a flurry of activity outside her tent, she knew she had better get moving. Quickly slipping on her jacket and boots, she ran outside to the center of camp. She wished she had time to at least throw some water on her face to help revive her. 

Mo
rning roll call took too long. She had not eaten very much yesterday because of nerves and now she felt the hunger pains. By the time breakfast was served she was close to collapsing. All the men got in line and stood in front of a table as food was ladled onto their plates. She moved down the line with the other soldiers as sausage, eggs, and biscuits were added to her plate. Kate ate as quickly as the other men because she was famished. In fact, she was so hungry the simple fair tasted great.

Kate stayed so busy she did not have time to think about anything but bec
oming a good soldier. So intent on her training, she did not see the piercing blue eyes watching her. Hearing a voice behind her, she twirled around to find Captain Harris observing her progress. “How are you doing, Private Monroe?” 

Instantly
, the hair stood up on the back of her neck. She hoped he did not notice how nervous he made her and become suspicious. “Okay, Sir.” 

“You look tired.
Did you sleep any last night?”

“Not much, S
ir. I’m a little homesick.” Her voice quavered, and she tried to calm her racing heart. What would be the penalty for dressing as a man and joining the war? 

“It takes time to adjust.”
Kate watched him stroll about the camp observing his other men. It was difficult to tear her eyes away from his perfect physique. She was fanaticizing what it would be like to kiss his full lips. Reality set in and she realized she was acting like a school girl pining over a man she had no chance to be with. She was just a backwoods country girl. 

Kate jumped when Lieutenant Emerson, the instructor, yelled loudly at her be
cause her musket was dirty. “A soldier never lets his weapon get this filthy! You’ll understand when you’re on the battlefield and it will not discharge.” Lieutenant Emerson admonished her several times until she oiled her musket inside and out. After several attempts he seemed satisfied.

Next she practiced loading her
musket as quickly as she could. She fumbled through several times before she was able to please her instructor. Still she was a long way from loading it three times in one minute as was expected on the battlefield. They marched around the camp in formation until she thought her feet would fall off. She had blisters on top of blisters since her boots were Jake’s and they were a little too big. 

She even ha
d to learn hand-to-hand combat. Lieutenant Emerson kept looking at her as if he were suspicious. A handsome man, he stood at least six feet tall with dark hair and intense dark brown eyes. His cocky attitude made her nervous. Kate watched the other young soldiers who were in line before her getting knocked to the ground time after time. Now it was her turn. She had no idea how to block the hits she received. Lieutenant Emerson knocked her to the ground with one swift motion and held her down. The closeness of his body made her very uneasy, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t get him to budge.

“What’s the matter, Private?”

Kate stuttered, “Noth-ing is wr-ong, Sir.” He looked right into her eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he rolled off her, stood, and pulled her up after him. His eyes never moved from her face. 

She
almost panicked. He was acting very peculiar as if he knew she had a secret. “I am thirsty and need some water. May I please get some, Sir?” Kate spoke as deep as possible hoping Lieutenant Emerson would not notice how nervous she was from his scrutiny.

“Yes, Private, take a break.”
Lieutenant Emerson had a curious look on his face as he peered into her eyes. She had an overwhelming urge to run as she forced herself to turn and walk away slowly.

By the time the day ended Kate’s body was black and blue from the blows the lieu
tenant inflicted on her. She was so exhausted she fell into bed and slept like a baby. Then reveille sounded the next morning at 5:00 a.m. and she endured the same hardships over again.  

Today Sergeant Branso
n instructed the new recruits. He was short in stature but was built like a small bull. He yelled most of the time because they were all green and made lots of mistakes. Determined to have them ready for battle in six weeks, he never let up. 

Kate pressed her musket against her shoulder and pulled the trigger. The loud sound caused her ears to ring and the smoke caused her to cough. By the time the smoke cleared
, she saw she had missed the target yet again. Sighing loudly, she wondered if she would ever become a good shot. She turned to see Captain Harris staring at her.

“Hello, Private.  How are you doing with your target practice?”

“Okay, Sir, I get better every day.” Apprehensive with him standing so near, her hands began to shake. She was almost afraid to look into his sensual eyes. Every time he came near, she could feel her body getting warm. For a moment she forgot to breathe she was so mesmerized by his handsome face and muscular body.

“Where did y
ou say you were from, Private?” Captain Harris looked directly into her eyes as if he could tell if she were lying.

U
nder the circumstances, she tried to be as truthful as possible. “From Durham, North Carolina, Sir. I have a small farm. My family is dead and I couldn’t run the farm by myself. No money you see. I had no choice but to join up.” 

“Well, you should feel obligated to fight for the S
outh young man. I just wondered why you didn’t join close to your home. You came along way when you could have joined a camp near Durham.”

Captain Harris
asked too many questions. Kate wanted them to stop. “I wanted to see something different than North Carolina. I heard how beautiful Richmond is, so I thought I would join here.”

“Well, carry on, Private Monroe.” 

As he walked away, hands cupped behind his back observing his men, she couldn’t help but watch. Angular cheeks, narrow nose, strong decisive chin, he was so handsome. She did not know what was wrong with her. The urge to reach out and touch him was strong when he was in close proximity. She would have to keep from drawing his attention.

While Kate and the other new recruits trained from morning until night
, the rest of the camp played cards, pitched horseshoes, or played baseball. She couldn’t wait until she was finished with her training so she could have some free time.

For training on the third day, they p
racticed fighting on horseback. Kate had not ridden a horse in years. She was clumsy and was knocked from her horse several times. She was bruised, filthy, and exhausted by the time training was over. She was beginning to regret her hasty decision to join the war. It was too late now. She would have to bear whatever she was subjected too.

All the new recruits were leading their horses away when Lieutenant E
merson approached on horseback. “We have several deserters that need to be rounded up and brought back to camp. I need some men to help me.” Lieutenant Emerson pointed out several of the men standing near Kate. Thankful she was not chosen, she turned to leave when Emerson yelled, “You too, Private Monroe!”

S
he was in a quandary. She had tried to stay out of Lieutenant Emerson’s way. It was evident he was suspicious. Mounting up, she reined her horse behind the others. Emerson would have to lead them, and if she remained in the back she would not draw his attention.

The group of men and Kate had been riding for almost an h
our when they came to a river. Lieutenant Emerson dismounted, and walked along the bank of the river studying the tracks of the deserters. “There are four of them, and they have split up.” Emerson divided his men into two groups. Half were to go across the river and the other half was to follow him down the river. Kate tried to go with the men across the river but Lieutenant Emerson stopped her. “Private Monroe, you come with us.”

Kate
bit her lower lip. She had an uneasy feeling. Why would Lieutenant Emerson care which group she accompanied? Even though her instincts told her otherwise, she did as ordered and fell in behind the last man. 

Lieutenant Emerson and his men followed the trail of the deserters into
a crop of trees near the river. “You men ride into the forest and capture the deserters. I’ll wait here in case someone escapes.”

She
kicked her horse in the sides intending to follow the others when she heard Lieutenant Emerson call out, “You stay with me, Private Monroe!”

Wary of her predicament, terrible thoughts surfaced.
She should not be alone with Emerson, but couldn’t defy orders. Slowly, she dismounted and stood holding the reins of her horse. Nervous hands wrapped the reins through her fingers.

Lieutenant Emerson waited until his men disap
peared into the crop of trees. He dismounted and ambled over to her. “You don’t mind answering a few questions do you, Private?”

In a mild tone,
Kate answered, “Of course not, Sir, what would you like to ask me?” She was gripping the reins so tight her hands were white.

Emerson quirked a brow and asked, “Why do I make you so nervous?”

“What makes you think I’m nervous?” She asked in a calm tone.

“You look like a scared little rabbit w
aiting to bolt at any minute.” That was exactly what she wanted to do, but she stood her ground. When Kate did not say anything, Lieutenant Emerson moved closer.

He raised a curious eyebrow
. “I don’t understand how you can wear that thick jacket in this heat. I know you must be hot. I can see the sweat on your brow, but you never take it off. Are you hiding something under all those clothes?”  

She backed up when he stepped
mere inches from her. He reached out clutched a hand to her jacket.

Kate’s mind worked
frantically. Her voice cracked when she snapped, “Do you like boys, Lieutenant Emerson?”

His hand fell to his side, and he rubbed it against his pants leg
. She saw the doubt in his eyes. Suddenly they heard gun shots coming from the forest. Kate let out the breath she had been holding. At least she was safe for the moment. 

Emerson mounted his horse,
looked down on her, and said haughtily, “Maybe the next time we are alone I’ll find out what you’re hiding.”

He galloped into the forest leaving her
wondering what she was going to do about him. He was definitely going to be a problem. She worriedly chewed her bottom lip as she wondered what her punishment would be if they discovered she was a female.