Desperado: Deep in the Heart, Book 2 (31 page)

“You’re right. Can’t move Texas on the map, though. Next topic?”

“Stormy, I feel like you’ve got me on a timer. Do you mind just sorting through this with me and coming to a reasonable solution?”

Slight anger rose inside her. “If you don’t mind me pointing this out, I have everything sorted, Cody.”

“So if I hadn’t figured out you were carrying my child, you were prepared to plow full steam through raising it without telling me? Without including me?”

“Last I checked, you weren’t interested in being included,” she stated, trying to keep the impatience from her voice. “You plainly said on more than one occasion that you didn’t want to be a father.”

“That was before I became one!” He furrowed his brows.

“I would have told you eventually,” she allowed. “But I don’t want to talk about that. Frankly, I’m a little put out that you think you can rush in here and solve everything for me and then buy a return ticket, Cody.”

“You need solving!”

“In what way? I think I’m doing just fine without your help!”

They stared at each other, each refusing to budge.

“For starters, if you’re going to marry that white-skinned old man, I don’t think he’s going to live past the wedding night.”

“That’s none of your business!” Stormy was outraged.

“It is. Contrary to what you and your folks keep trying to tell me, I don’t think California’s all that healthy. He certainly doesn’t appear to be in too good a shape. I’m worried how that will affect my child.”

“First of all,” Stormy ground out, “I am not marrying Jonathan. We had just called it off when you showed up uninvited.”

He brightened. “Now you’re showing some sense. Nothing good can come of marrying a man who’s got snow on the roof and no heat in his wiring.”

“Cody!” Stormy leapt to her feet. “Let’s get to the crux of our problem, okay?”

“Fine by me.” He gave her a brisk nod.

He wasn’t going to like what she had to say. But it was time to get it out in the open once and for all. “You have always enjoyed criticizing my livelihood, and where I come from.”

“I don’t—”

“You do. You call it living in La-La Land, which I know is a common enough term, but you seem to think it fully applies to me.” She took a deep breath and held his eyes steadfastly. “I happen to think you’re living in the Land of Denial. You think everything can be overcome one way or the other, if you’re just stubborn enough. You’ll eat raw fish, and I’ll eat red meat. Well, now we’re having a baby, and what you refuse to see is that you and I are going to have a damn difficult time doing anything but driving each other mad over this situation. There is no half and half where a child is concerned. I don’t want there to be.” She paused before her next words. “I’m going to file for full custodial rights.”

“Now, wait a minute—”

“No.” She turned her back on him, her heart breaking. “I’m not going to have this child screwed up, growing up caught between California and Texas. I’m not going to have it shuttled around with no stable home base, the way I was.” Whirling to face him, she said, “And I’m not going to have this baby torn between you and me. I’ll do anything to make certain it has a fully secure childhood.”

“Even if that means giving me no rights?” Cody couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“You’ll be welcome to visit. I may let the child visit you in the summer. I know you’re a very fit guardian because I’ve seen what you do for Mary. But we’re not doing a split custody arrangement where the child grows up neither here nor there. This nor that.” She began to cry. “I want my child to be secure, and never in doubt of its importance in my life.”

“I do, too.” Cody stepped close to hold her, but she moved away, avoiding him.

“So you agree?”

“Hell, no. I don’t agree.” He sighed heavily and strode to stare out a window at the Los Angeles traffic. “But I don’t have an alternative to suggest. I can tell you I don’t see what’s so healthy about growing up in a smog-choked environment. There must be a million people here, all crawling over each other like ants. No room to run and play. To stretch out.”

“I know it seems strange to you,” Stormy said, wiping her eyes, “but this is a fine place to live. The issue isn’t the best place to grow up. The issue is growing up as securely as possible. And I don’t think that can happen if there’s a question of allegiance. The child will think it’s either you or me. California or Texas. And I think that’s a horrible thing to do to a child.”

“So is being without a father.”

“Lots of children have only one parent, or neither parent, and turn out just fine.”

“Yeah, but the odds are better if there are two parents, Stormy. Surely even you can’t argue with that.”

“What do you mean, even I can’t argue with that?” She heard condescension in his tone and it made her madder.

“Beyond all the peace, love, and spring water, there are some things you can’t argue with. A whole family is one of them. You had one, so surely you can see that.”

Had she been better off because she’d had two parents, selfishly inconsiderate of her childhood as they’d been? “I don’t know,” she murmured miserably.

“Well,
I
didn’t have the benefit of a father,” he stated, his voice hard and bitter. “He died when I was very young. My older brother, Carlos, became my whole lifeline, my connection to what a father might be. He married Annie and for a little while, Mary had the best father anyone could have. My brother—” his voice broke, tearing at Stormy’s heart, “—my brother died a death so horrible we’re all still affected by his loss. Can you not even tell what it’s like to not have a father from Mary’s behavior? Zach is great and Mary loves him, but there’s no doubting that her childhood was scarred by her father’s death.”

He stared at her, his dark eyes damp with furious regret and memories. “I had no one but my mother, and while I love her, we were both damn lonely. And damn left out. So do not talk to me about how good it will be for my baby not to know me. I will never, never agree with you. I will never, never let you do that.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, weeping tears she couldn’t control. “I’m sorry, Cody. I only think of how I grew up and what I want to be different for my child.”

“I know.” Now he did pull her close and Stormy went gratefully into the warm, hard shelter of his arms. “I think the same way. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. We just need to work out the inherent differences with this problem and go from there. That’s why I’m here.” He framed her face with his hands, brushing her tears away gently. “We’re going to disagree a lot, but in the end, we can probably work through it.”

“I don’t know how,” she sniffled miserably.

“I don’t either. I don’t think too good on an empty stomach.”

“We just ate!” Stormy stared up at him, enjoying the feel of his strong fingers touching her face.

“You just ate. I pretended to eat.”

“That’s sneaky!” Stormy couldn’t believe she’d eaten red meat, while he’d sat on his side of the table innocently acting as if he were eating his sushi.

“I do not eat slimy things, woman,” he said huskily. “There are some things a man cannot compromise on.”

“You told my parents it was delicious!” She stared up into his eyes, allowing herself to hope that he would kiss her.

“I said it was very well prepared. It’s bad manners to offend your host and hostess. Even in the country, we learn manners.” Gently, he lowered his lips to hers. She didn’t move, merely closed her eyes on a sigh of desire. “
You
are delicious,” he murmured against her mouth. “You are soft and smell good and feel so good you drive me wild.”

He pulled her up tight against him and kissed her until she had no breath. Then he nuzzled his face into the curve of her neck, as if telling her how much he needed her. Red-hot fire and want rushed through Stormy.

“You already were wild,” she said, trying to hang on to her sanity so that she wouldn’t give in to the sensual craving flooding her senses. “Crazy.”

“That was just a nickname. But I’m loco for you and all I can think of is how much I want you.”

“I want you, too,” she whispered, turning her head so that he would kiss her again. “I want you to make love to me.”

He unzipped her dress. Cool air rushed against her back, peaking her already sensitive nipples. Slowly, he slid it from her shoulders and dropped it to the floor. Hesitantly, she reached out to unbutton his shirt. “Guess we won’t have to use a condom this time.” She gave him a very shy glance.

He ran his hands down her shoulders and over her shoulder blades to unsnap her bra. “It doesn’t seem to have done us much good,” he agreed. Gently, he drew her bra off and dropped it to the floor, too. He stood staring at her for a moment, before gently picking her up in his arms. She nestled against his chest. “I have to tell you, I’m kind of scared of being a father.”

“I’m a little afraid of being a mother,” she admitted.

“Let me take you in here so I can see the little fellow.” He carried her into the bedroom.

“Little person,” she gently corrected. “Most likely my femaleness will triumph over your maleness and we’ll have a little lady. In fact, I’m positive of it.”

He laid her on the bed and sat beside her, putting one hand over her stomach. “Do you know you’re having a girl and you’re not telling me?”

“No.” She ran a teasing finger along the edges of his lips. “I’m giving you a hard time. You seemed damned determined to have a boy.”

“I don’t really care what it is.”

“I didn’t think so. With you, everything is naturally phrased in the masculine sense.” She gave him a seductive smile. “Do you remember when you told me that we’d have an ugly baby? That the townspeople would throw rocks at it?”

He nodded.

“Did you mean it? Do you really think that?”

“Yeah. But I’ll love it anyway, poor little thing.” Stroking his hand around the bulge where the baby lay nestled inside Stormy, Cody then moved his hands inside her panties. He smoothed his hands over her buttocks, squeezing lightly, before drawing the lacy thong slowly down her legs. “The last time I saw you, you had no stomach.”

“I’ve gotten fat since then.”

“No.” He lowered his head to kiss her stomach. “You’ve gotten more beautiful. You were so thin, I didn’t know how you could stay alive.” He pressed kisses from her navel to where the top of her panties had been. “I like growing my baby inside you.”

“Let me take your clothes off.” If she had to wait much longer to hold Cody to her, she was going to fly apart. She busied herself scooching his jeans down, and he helped her. Then she pulled him into her arms, sighing at the sensation of being close to him.

“I won’t hurt you, will I?”

“No.” She smiled reassuringly, then gasped as he suckled on her nipples. “Oh, Cody.”

“Say it again.”

“Oh, Cody,” she murmured, pulling his head hard against her. “Oh, Cody!” she cried as he entered her. She rocked against him, feeling tears pour down her cheeks at the wonderful sensations overwhelming her. All she could do was wrap herself around him and hold on tight, before a rollercoaster tugging enveloped her. “Don’t stop,” she moaned. “Oh, don’t stop!”

He didn’t until she went over the edge, then he followed, a hoarse cry escaping him. Stormy held him tightly to her, running her hands lightly over his sweat-soaked back.

Please tell me you love me,
she thought.
Please say we’re going to do more than work this out.

Cody buried his face in Stormy’s soft, fragrant, distinctly purple hair. His heart thundered in his chest as he tried not to crush her petite body underneath him.
She drives me mad,
he thought. It felt great to be inside her without any barrier between them. He was going to build up a lot of air mileage flying to see this woman and his child. Could they make a future based on frequent flyer miles and long distance calls?

The odds were against it. Cody rolled off of Stormy gently, his whole brain confused as he tried to think his way through the aftermath of their sexual attraction.
I could ask her to marry me, but she’d say no. What would she do in Desperado?

“Ever think of moving to Texas?” he asked.

“No.” She rolled her head to look at him. “Although the sex is good enough to make me give it a second thought.”

Sloan had been wrong. Stormy didn’t want to live on his ranch. So much for that idea. “You’re an unconventional woman.”

“I’m sorry. Am I supposed to follow you around, hoping that if I do it long enough, you’ll ask me to marry you one day?”

“Most women would,” he said grumpily. “Of course, you’re not like most women.”

“That’s in my favor, right?”

“At this moment, no. You’re damn hard to pin down.”

“You have no room to talk. You’re not like most men I know, either.”

“I’m scared by the one I’ve seen you with. I damn sure hope I’m not like him.”

“Jonathan is a very nice man. He offered to marry me.”

“So?” He kept his eyes trained on hers, scowling. “I do all the work and he gets to marry you and take the credit?”

Stormy laughed out loud. “Making love to me is work?”