Desires (28 page)

Stacie shivered as she became aroused. What the hell had
she done?

It was pointless any longer to deny the fact she was in
love with him. Her heart felt punctured and crippled, her legs were like jelly.
She didn’t know what to do, she couldn’t stand these feelings. She yearned to go
to bed with him, feel his body pressing against her, his breath on her naked
flesh, bringing her to ecstasy.

 
“Bloody hell
Stacie, get a grip. Forget him. You paid him for sex and got it, now shut up.” She
grabbed a cushion and hugged it to herself, tears sliding down her cheeks. She
wished she hadn’t walked out, wished she’d had the courage to talk to him.
“Stop it Stacie! Stop thinking about him. You fucked up, you live with it.”

* *
* *

Her alarm blared. Stacie rolled over and hit it into
silence. Her head ached. Last night she’d polished off the remainder of the
bottle of wine, along with several bottles of pear cider left over from her divorce
party. She didn’t even like pear cider, which was why they were still there
months after the party. Stacie tweaked the curtains and winced against the
bright sun streaming across her bed.

She had to get up, though. It was just lucky she hadn’t
been so drunk as to forget to set her alarm. Work wouldn’t wait. She dragged
herself into the shower, grimacing at the state of her face in the mirror,
streaks of mascara trailed down her cheeks from her self-pitying crying jag the
night before.

She drank about a pint of water and took some
painkillers to try to get rid of her headache, before getting ready and heading
off for work, hoping she didn’t get pulled over. She wasn't entirely sure she’d
pass a breathalyser. The traffic was manic and she arrived late.

“Good afternoon, Stacie,” said her boss, leaning back
and crossing her arms.

“Sorry, traffic,” Stacie explained.

“You should leave earlier.”

“Sorry,” Stacie mumbled again.

She spent the day in and out of meetings, trying to
organise the next magazine, but her mind was all over the place.

That evening Stacie put on her favourite chick flick,
Bridget Jones’s Diary
. She was turning
into a real Bridget Jones herself useless at everything, falling for the wrong
men, sitting at home necking wine and listening to sad songs. Where was her
Mark Darcy? She didn’t want to be like that any longer. Stacie put the DVD
away, determined that the next time she watched it, she would have a Mark Darcy
of her own. Time to take charge of her life.

* *
* *

She worked late the next few days at work, trying her
hardest to get organised and snap back into action.

Sitting at her desk one morning, analysing an interview,
she jumped when her mobile phone rang. Stacie frowned at her phone, not
recognising the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Stacie?” said a cheerful woman’s voice.

“Speaking,” Stacie said.

“You forgotten about me already?” said the woman, sounding
bubbly.

“Sorry?”

“It’s Chrissie, from Desires.”

“Oh God…I am so sorry. Yes, I had forgotten, I’ve been
busy with work.” Stacie was surprised at how pleased she was to hear from the
other woman. She’d shoved the napkin with Chrissie’s scribbled number into her
bag when she’d left Desires, but then totally forgotten about her intention to
put it in her phone.

“I can’t talk for long, but I was wondering if you’d
like to meet up for some lunch, or dinner, if you’re not busy?”

“That would be great, I could do dinner tonight,” Stacie
replied, a smile cracking her face. Finally she had a social life.

They made arrangements and hung up. Stacie tried not to
think about what she was going to say about Dan.

Stacie spent the afternoon running around making sure that
any all loose ends were tied up. She wasn't working late tonight.

She left work, feeling pleased to have someone to meet.
At least one good thing did come from Desires, she met a friend if not a lover.
She went home and got changed, taking off her confining work suit and slipping
into a long flowing jersey dress. She touched up her makeup and got a taxi to
the restaurant.

On arrival, she was heading over to the bar when she
heard her name called. She turned around to see Chrissie standing at a table, waving
at her, a beaming smile on her face. She walked over and Chrissie kissed her on
the cheek, then enveloped her in an unexpected hug.

“How the devil are you?” Chrissie said.

“I am fantastic, and you?”

They ordered their food and began to chitchat, just gossip
about work and the latest soap stories. It was so nice to have a pleasant
conversation with someone.

The food was delicious and they’d managed to polish off
a bottle of wine between them. Stacie was just beginning to feel merry when
Chrissie put her knife and fork together on the plate and leaned back in her
chair.

“So, go on then. What happened with Dan?”

“Oh don’t. I fucked up, he fucked up. I have no bloody
idea what happened,” she replied, holding her face in her hands.

“Come on, explain,” Chrissie said, moving closer and wrapping
a comforting arm over her shoulder.

“I have no idea. Well I just have no clue…I was all
ready to say something, I had it going around in circles in my head and then,
well…I just—”

Chrissie interrupted, “You never told him how you felt
about him?”

“I was going to, but then he brought in this other guy to
have sex with me, and after that I hated him.”

“I see,” Chrissie said.

“If he had any feelings for me, would he have done
that?”

“Maybe he had no choice. Maybe because it’s his job, he
had to be professional. Do you still love him?”

“God, yes. I haven’t stopped thinking about him. He did
say a few things that made me think he might have feelings for me.”

“Like what?”

“Well,” Stacie felt her face heating at the memory. “He
said I had fantastic breasts, he could play with them all day, and then he said
I have a stunning body. Would that mean anything?”

“He could have been just flattering you.”

“But there was more than that. It was more in the way he
looked at me, if you know what I mean. And he didn’t look happy when I was
having sex with the other guy. Not at all!”

“What have you got to lose by telling him? You don’t
have him now, do you?”

Stacie shook her head.

“And if you tell him, and he doesn’t feel the same, you
still won’t have him.”

“But I’ll feel stupid and embarrassed.”

“Isn’t it worth feeling stupid and embarrassed when you
think about what you’ll gain if he does feel the same? You only live once
Stacie, life’s too short. Have you arranged to go back?”

“No.”

“Have you got the number?”

“Yes, it’s in my phone.” Stacie began digging about in
her handbag. “Oh, I must have left it at home when I rang the taxi.”

“Come on then, back to yours,” Chrissie said, standing
up and gesturing for the bill.

They got a taxi to Stacie’s flat. Stacie’s heart skipped
and her body ached with excitement, praying and hoping he hadn’t been booked
up. The phone lay innocently on the hall table. Stacie grabbed it up and they
rushed into the living room. She brought the number up on her contacts list and
just stood there staring at it.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t,” Stacie whispered.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.”

“Give it here!” Chrissie grabbed the phone and hit the
call button, passing it back to Stacie as the ring tone began.

“Hello, Desires?” came the voice.

Stacie opened her mouth but nothing came out.

“Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?”

Stacie looked at Chrissie, who made urging gestures with
her hands. She took a deep breath.

“Sorry, hi. It’s Stacie Clifford. My number is 7029.”

“Good evening, Stacie. How are you?”

“Fine thanks. I…I…I was wondering if I could book Dan
for the weekend?” Stacie said in a rush.

“Just one moment please.” There was a pause. “He’s not
scheduled to come in, but I can contact him for you, if you wish.”

“Yes, please!” she said in excitement then remembered to
tone down her enthusiasm. “That’s fine, if he can’t do it, don’t worry about
it.”

“I’ll give you a call back as soon as I get in touch
with him, okay Stacie?”

They said goodbye and hung up.

“Well?”

“They’re ringing him and getting back to me,” Stacie
said, bouncing on her toes with anxiety. “Chrissie, what have I done?”

“I think wine is called for,” Chrissie said, taking hold
of Stacie’s shoulders and propelling her into the kitchen. “Do you have any?”

Stacie shook her head. “I drank the last of it the other
night,” she said, shame-faced.

“Didn’t I see a corner shop just down the road?”

Stacie nodded.

“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

It seemed Chrissie was gone only two minutes before she
came back bearing a bottle of sparkling wine. She expertly popped the cork with
a giggle and poured them both a glass.

They went back into the living room and sat staring at
the phone.

Stacie sipped her wine and fidgeted, silently begging
the mobile to ring, tapping her foot on the coffee table leg, while Chrissie
chewed her fingernails. Stacie had never felt so anxious about waiting for a
phone call, not even when it was her solicitor about her divorce. But this call
was a whole different situation, this was about getting between the sheets, and
possibly more, with a gorgeous, delicious, sexy, irresistible young man.

“I feel like a schoolgirl,” Stacie said, trying to
breathe naturally.

“Good, isn’t it?” Chrissie answered, sounding almost as
excited as Stacie did.

“Definitely. But what happens if he isn’t free?” Stacie
asked in panic.

“Then book him for the following weekend.”

“But Christmas is looming and everyone is busy.”

“Stop panicking. Wait till they call you back, then take
it from there.”

Stacie knew Chrissie’s words were wise, but she
struggled to calm her racing mind. Again they stared at her bright pink mobile,
when suddenly it rang. They froze, looking at it.

“Well answer it,” Chrissie said aloud.

“I can’t. What if it’s bad news?”

“Then we’ll deal with it. Answer the damn thing.”

Stacie picked the phone up, glancing at Chrissie. She
pressed the accept call button and placed it to her ear. “Hello,” she said with
difficulty over the nervous lump in her throat.

“Hello. Is this Stacie?”

“Speaking,” she said, trying to calm the tremor in her
voice.

“We have contacted Dan, and he says no problem. He can
be here from eight on Friday night. Is that okay for you?”

Stacie sat in shock, her stomach churning in sheer
relief. Chrissie’s face showed concern and Stacie let her smile show.

“That’s great…I mean fine…yes!”

“I will confirm that with Dan and book you in. We will
see you Friday at eight,” said the receptionist, sounding inviting.

“Thank you,” she said, grinning like a schoolgirl who
had her first date.

She hung up and they began dancing around her lounge
skipping like girls in the playground.

* *
* *

Stacie bounced out of bed on Friday morning. She’d
already packed her overnight bag, planning on changing clothes at work before
she left for Desires. She didn’t want to turn up in her boring work stuff.
She’d packed a killer outfit of a tiny black dress with a plunging neckline,
teamed with towering heels. Dan wasn't going to know what hit him. She had a
quick shower and grabbed a bit of toast for breakfast, then jumped into her car
in good time. She arrived at work early for a change, meriting a sardonic
eyebrow lift from her boss.

She grinned around the office, calling out merry
greetings to people. Even a day packed full of dull meetings couldn’t dampen
her enthusiasm. She floated through them on a cloud, dreaming of Dan and what
they would do that night.

Then all hell let loose. One of the directors decided it
would be a good idea to change the format of the magazine, and called a late
meeting. Stacie kept watching the clock. Time ticked away, the hands turning
slowly from six o’clock to seven. Nothing was being decided, no one could
agree. The editors were arguing with the directors, who were in turn adamant
that their way was the best. Eight o’clock came and went with no sign that the meeting
was coming to an end.