Desert Heart (The Wolves of Twin Moon Ranch Book 4) (12 page)

“Why not?” It was a challenge, not a question. Almost a dare.

“Carly,” she ground out. “Do. Not. Tell. Anyone.”

“Why not? You have a right to screw any cowboy you want, Tina. To hell with what Dad says.”

Easy for her sister to say. Tina kept her eyes steadfastly on the highway ahead. It was easy for Carly to be Carly. Independent. Reckless. Unafraid. Carly hadn’t grown up as the oldest daughter of the ruling alpha. She didn’t manage a ranch and concern herself with things like her reputation, because she didn’t carry a mile-high stack of expectations or have a hundred invisible judges studying every move she made, every day.

“He sure smells good.” Carly leaned in closer, sniffing.

Tina leaned away and rolled the window open a bit more.

“Man, that scent is strong. Did you shag him all morning and most of the night?”

She must have blushed, because Carly broke out in a huge grin and smacked her on the shoulder.

“You did shag him all morning and most of the night! Way to go, girl!”

“It’s not like that,” Tina tried.

“No? Then what was it like?”

Like magic. Like heaven. Like the best parts of every sweet dream rolled into one night.

Tina squeezed her lips together and looked straight ahead. Carly would never understand. Thank goodness Carly hadn’t spent enough time in Arizona to remember Rick’s scent, because the only thing worse than her sister knowing
about
Rick was her sister realizing
who
Rick was. She could hear the screech now.

Rick Rivera, the star hitter? You fucked Rick Rivera?

If she hadn’t been driving, she would have buried her face in both hands.

Carly chuckled. “You’re in love, aren’t you?”

Every muscle in Tina’s body tensed. “What do you know about love?”

“I’ve fallen in love!”

Tina arched an eyebrow at her sister.

“I have!” Carly waited a beat, then waved vaguely. “So, okay, I fell back out…”

“Then it wasn’t love.”

Carly snorted. “What is love anyway? I mean, true love.”

Tina opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “True love is…is…” She was a little short on words, but images flooded her mind. Rick, pulling out the chair for her at lunch. Rick, his jaw tight as he said he understood about her not wanting to leave Arizona with him. Rick, gazing into her eyes like they were a wishing well and he was down to his last penny.

Carly took in her silence with a weighty nod. “Wow. You really are in love.”

Tina wanted to cry, to kick, to scream. She’d been in love with Rick all her life, but no one ever asked. Ever suspected. Ever cared. Not about Good Old Tina.

“You’re actually serious about this guy?”

“How can I not be serious? He’s my destined mate.” She blurted it out before thinking, then slapped a hand over her mouth.

Carly was too busy shaking her head to notice, thank God. “There is no such thing as a destined mate. You of all people should know that.”

“There is,” Tina said fiercely. “There is!”

“Is not,” Carly retorted. “Just regular old love, just like any human.”

Tina’s wolf started growling inside.

Carly galloped off on one of her tirades. “Look, am I glad the right woman came along and knocked some sense into Ty’s head? Of course I am. Am I glad Heather got Cody to grow up? Hallelujah, I say! Good for her. But it’s not destiny.” Her finger stabbed the air. “It’s just love. Shifters fall in love, just like people do, and they make the same mistakes. And after a while, it all breaks down. Disagreements turn into fights. Small concessions become huge compromises. Dreams get thrown away. Look at my mom, or yours, with Dad, for goodness’ sake. Look what a mess he made of their lives.”

The mess he made of all of our lives,
she might as well have added.

“Neither one of our moms was his destined mate,” Tina insisted.

“No, they were just a couple of women hopelessly in love. Blind until it was too late.” Carly’s voice was laced with bitterness. Disappointment. Determination not to make the same mistake. “Look, guys can be a lot of fun. But destined mates are a myth. Old-fashioned bullshit used to keep women in their place.” She crossed her arms in silent defiance.

“No one’s saying you have to mate,” Tina murmured.

She snorted. “A damn good thing, too. I don’t want a man. Don’t need a man.”

Well, I do.
Tina needed a man, or she’d go insane. Correction—a man of her own. Not her two brothers, not the dozen well-meaning other males in her pack. Her own man.

Rick.

“I really don’t see why any woman would want to mate.”

“Well, I can’t mate with him, so it’s all academic anyway,” Tina snapped.

“Why is it…” Carly trailed off. “Wait. Is Dad pulling one of his bullshit moves and trying to set you up with someone else?”

She snorted. Given her age, her dad would probably be happy to see her mated to just about any man in any pack. He’d certainly made his fair share of suggestions—often bluntly and in the most mortifying public situations—on suitable mates. He’d probably accept just about any he-wolf for her. But a human? Never.

Lately, though, her father had done an about-face, apparently having decided there were advantages to having a spinster daughter, married to ranch duties instead of a man.

She shook her head, avoiding Carly’s gaze. “My mate…” She had to stop there, because her heart ached just from hearing the words uttered aloud for the first time.
My mate.
Her wolf purred, but her human side wailed. How could destiny be so cruel? “He’s human. I can’t.”

They drove on in silence, climbing higher and higher through the desert. Too high for the scarecrow-shaped saguaro cactus that dotted the city and its surroundings. High-altitude ranch country stretched uninterrupted in both directions, on and on to the purple-blue line of mountains beyond. There were days when the desert seemed chock-full of hidden gems, just waiting to be discovered. Other times it just looked barren. Empty. Hopeless.

“I don’t get it.” Carly gestured. “You believe in destined mates, but you won’t mate him. Some logic.”

“He’s human. A mating bite could kill him.”

“Heather is human. She didn’t die.”

“Heather’s a woman.”

“So?”

“It’s different.”

“Bullshit.”

“It isn’t!” Tina thumped the steering wheel. “Men fight the change more. They hardly ever survive. You know what they say. The stronger the man, the more his body will resist.”

Carly waved an unimpressed hand. “Old wives’ tales.”

“It’s a fact. A fact, Carly!” She was almost yelling now, but she didn’t care. “Kyle nearly died from the change. His body fought it that hard. And my mate…” There it was again, the hitch in her voice when she said it.
My mate.
“He’s strong. Maybe even stronger than Kyle. He wouldn’t make it.”

“If destiny wanted him to be yours,” Carly argued, “he ought to be fine, right?”

“And if destiny is just messing around?”

A long silence stretched while they avoided each other’s eyes. When Carly finally whispered, her face was turned to the open plains.

“Then he’ll die.”

Rick turned the shower head to cold and let that pound his body for a little while. He needed it, bad. Not just to cleanse the layers of sweat stuck to his skin at the end of a hard working day, but to settle down that hard-on he got just thinking about Tina.

“So you’ll come?” he’d asked—just about begged—into the phone.

“Rick…” Tina’s voice wavered. So full of want, so full of frustration.

“Come. Please.” He’d have gotten down on his knees if it would have helped. “Please come.”

He had to strain to hear her answer. But even as a whisper, it made his heart soar. “I’ll come.”

Finally, finally, he’d get to see her again. The day had seemed as torturously long as the last seven years, and spending last night with her had only doubled his need for her.

About an hour after he called her, he’d been checking the roof tiles on the Seymours’ house when his phone beeped with a text from Tina, and even that made his heart beat faster. Yes, he brought his phone up there with him, just in case she called.

Dress code for dinner?

He sat perched up there like a lonely hawk and studied the view. Wiped the sweat off his brow and thought. Now, shoot. He still hadn’t made his mind up where to take her. But then a fresh breeze wafted out of the north, and he knew. He texted back.

Best riding boots, worst jeans.

That was three hours ago; he’d had just enough time to set things up. He cooked the dinner he’d feed her afterward, cleaned himself up, and headed down to the barn.

“Easy, Blue,” he murmured to Henry’s aging horse. The horse was brown, but old Henry had named all his horses Blue after a roan he’d owned way back when. Henry named all his horses Blue and all his dogs Tex. The color of the horses varied, but the dogs were always look-alike versions of the same spotted mutt.

Poor old Blue hadn’t been ridden in years, and even though he was a little stiff in the knees, he was keen as anything to get out in the desert again. A little like Rick. Blue pranced in place, excited and nervous as a colt, as if this was his big chance.

Again, a little like Rick.

“Easy,” he murmured, easing the saddle over the horse’s back.

Blue nickered and butted Rick’s leg in anticipation.
Let’s go.

He laughed, and that felt good. Good to have someone on this ranch to laugh with, even if it was just a horse.

“Hang on, now. Gotta get your date ready, too. Ready, Star?”

Star was Lucy’s latest ride, a palomino that was still young and sprightly enough to make a guy think twice about handing her reins over to just anyone, especially since she hadn’t been ridden in years. But he wasn’t handing the reins over to just anyone. Tina could ride the wildest, craziest thing on four feet.

He chuckled at himself. If it were just anyone, he wouldn’t be heading out on a sunset ride. Not for a ride, not for the dinner he had planned for after, not for any of the rest. He’d spent an hour brushing those horses, getting their coats to shine like they were show ponies and not a couple of working-class quarter horses.

But it worked. They looked…nice. He ran a hand down his shirt, wishing he’d had someone to double check him the same way. His twenty days were counting down, and he had to make this date count.

He was readjusting the corner of Star’s saddle blanket for the fifth or sixth time when Tina pulled up in that silver Corolla of hers and stepped out. Best riding boots. Worst jeans. She’d look like a million bucks no matter what she wore.

He ran a nervous hand over his shirt and strode over, trying not to run. Forcing himself to keep his hands at his sides and not sweep her into his arms and kiss her senseless like every muscle in his body wanted to do.

“Hello, Tina.”

He did kiss her, though, because there was no holding
that
back. Smack on the mouth with his hands cupping her face and his feet planted firmly so there’d be no dumb ideas about letting his body drift closer, closer…

He yanked himself back just as her knees started to buckle. Much as he’d like to carry her up to the apartment and start last night all over again, he did have the horses saddled. That, and he really didn’t want to take Tina up to his bed.

At least not yet.

He wanted a magical evening, for her and for him. He wanted to listen to her laugh, to see her smile. To watch the stars come out, one by one, and let the feeling of home seep back into his bones.

“Let me guess,” Tina said when he finally waved toward their mounts. “That one is Blue.”

The laugh that escaped his lips carried his worries away. A laugh of relief because he’d never have to explain that joke to Tina. He’d never have to explain what the grandfather clock meant to this place, or why old Lucy’s garden deserved to be revived. Tina just knew. She knew the ranch. She knew him. The real him.

He handed her the reins but kept his fingers over hers. “This one’s Star.”

She nodded. “Lucy’s horse.”

See? All the important things, Tina knew.

“Can I leave my purse here? I’m guessing I don’t exactly need my phone on this ride.”

“Not exactly.” He smiled back. No interruptions. Not tonight.

He nodded to a shelf, did a last saddle check, and they mounted up. He pointed Blue north and set off at an easy walk. Tina rode beside him, wearing a grin a mile wide. She looked left, right, up, and down, marveling in every view.

She sighed. “I haven’t had the chance to get out riding in…well, a long time.”

“Me, neither.” It had been years. But it felt good to be out. Really good.

For Tina, too. She looked happier, freer than she had when she’d first driven up.

“I think Blue has a crush on Star.” She smiled, glancing his way.

“And how do you know that?”

“He follows her with his eyes, his ears, his nose. Every move she makes, he follows along.”

A little like I’m doing with you.
“I guess he does,” Rick said quietly. “I guess he does.”

They rode over the rise, skirting the hill where the cemetery lay, and Rick had the craziest image of old Henry and Lucy, arm in arm up there, waving him and Tina off, saying,
Have a good time.
His dad and mom were there, too, standing side by side, smiling and shooing them off like a couple of kids at a fair.

And just like that, the stakes on this one night tripled. Quadrupled. Multiplied exponentially until he had to do like he’d done a thousand times at bat: take a deep breath and pretend it was just a game he was playing and not something much, much bigger than that.

“So beautiful,” Tina murmured.

“Yeah,” he managed, watching her hair sway with every step Star took. “Beautiful.”

She smiled at a firefly. Pointed at a stand of purple twinevine. Tilted her head back and took in the deepening brushfire color of the sky.

Time switched off, stripping away centuries, scraping away the tension. The dusky fragrance of a thousand desert flowers carried on the wind.