Demons of the Dancing Gods (21 page)

it is their four thousand two hundred and thirty-first meeting,

which is abbreviated as Sach-con Nine Hundred and Two.

Below that it says, 'Hello, my name is Joseph the Golden.'"

He looked at the last little figures. "So that's my name in

this chicken-scratch writing. I'll have to remember it, or keep

JACK L. CHALKER 111

this as a reference, in case I have to sign my name and pretend

I know it all."

She laughed. "Keep that thing on whenever you are in the

convention areas," she warned him. "Each one has a spell

personalized to the first wearer that admits you tc all public

areas. Try and get in without it and you will get a nasty shock."

"I'll remember," he promised. "Where to now?"

"Let us go back into the exhibition hall. I want to see how

much has changed since I was a child."

They went back, both clutching their bags, and Joe felt a

little absurd. Mr. and Mrs. Barbarian go shopping, he thought.

"Any reason why I should lug all this stuff around when I can't

read a word of it?" he asked her.

Page 93

Chalker, Jack L - Demons of the Dancing Gods

"It is hard to say, but probably not. Why not just put it over

in that coat room there and get it on the way back, if it is still

there?"

He did just that and felt at least a little less foolish. They

then entered the exhibition hall, and Joe was surprised to feel

it comfortably air-conditioned. "A minor housekeeping spell,"

Tiana told him.

So this was more of the magic of Husaquahr. "Pretty tame

magic," he noted. "I kinda figured that magic lands like this

one had all sorts of stuff going all the time."

"Oh, of course not. It is true that magic is all around us all

the time here, but it is not intrusive. In fact, the less it is used

or has to be used, the better. It is sort of like a balance of

power. Earth is a world dominated by nuclear bombs, yet I

would say you have seen more magic in this world than nuclear

bombs in yours."

She had a point there, so he let it pass. The exhibition hall

was huge and filled with large numbers of creatures, both

human and fairy—and some he wasn't quite sure about—all

in booths or behind long display tables. There was no logic or

order to the arrangement, so the old crone selling the latest

chemical advances in aphrodisiacs was right next to the bright

young fellow selling the Handy Miracle Pocket Indexer, which

was apparently less hype than a description of a portable quickfile

system that could be clipped onto a belt or carried in a

shoulder bag and that allowed the average magician to access

and classify spells by all sorts of cross-indexing methods.

112

DEMONS OF THE DANCING GODS

They went on, passing a group of salesmen peddling a

condensed Books of Rules—only three hundred volumes—

complete with the magical Codex, a cross-indexed compendium

allowing anything needed in the three hundred volumes

to be found easily. Tiana tried to beat off one of the salesmen

and finally got rid of him by commenting, "You are already

four years out of date, and by the time I received my volume

a month on your plan, you would be twenty-nine years out of

date." Arguments that a new edition was in preparation fell on

deaf ears.

Some of the exhibits were downright disgusting, like the

demonstrations by the Entrail-of-the Month Club. Another service

offered fresh bat's blood and monkey's eyes. There were

also countless protective gadgets and amulets being sold—all

worthless, Tiana assured Joe, since any value they might have

had was compromised by their being so commercially available.

Some of the salespeople were disconcerting, too. He didn't

really mind the centaurs and their variations so much, nor the

Panlike satyrs, and certainly not the nubile nymphs, but some

of the creatures selling various artifacts and substances, the

purposes of which could only be guessed at, were like nothing

he'd ever seen before. There was that creepy blue creature, for

example, with the wiry hair and buzzardlike beak whose huge,

unhuman eyes kept following them, and the things that looked

Page 94

Chalker, Jack L - Demons of the Dancing Gods

like giant swamp logs with eyes at the tip of each branch.

There were also memory and concentration aids for sale,

voodoo dolls and substances to make more—"free demonstration

on request"—and much, much more. Small fairy elves

were hawking clothing spun in the fairy way out of fairy gold,

"for the wizard who truly wants to look the part."

There were booths representing specific interest groups as

well. At one booth an old black-clad hag straight out of Snow

White was apparently representing the Wicked Witches Anti-

Defamation League; at another an extremely fat sort of pixie

in a blue Keystone Kops-type outfit offered membership to

qualified individuals in the Elves, Gnomes, and Little Men's

Chowder and Marching Society; while at a third a tough-looking

mermaid was half sunk in a tank of water, smoking a big

cigar, and representing something called the City-States' Benevolent

Protective Organization. Tiana explained that traders

JACK L. CHALKER

113

bought insurance from them or their ships mysteriously sank

somewhere.

Joe could only shake his head in wonder and say, "Gee, I

always thought mermaids were real pretty and lovey and all

that."

"Oh, many are, particularly the sirens who lure ships onto

the rocks by bewitching the sailors. She is just one of the sirens'

minor godmothers."

It also took a little adjusting to get used to some of the

titles, whose stated acronyms were more than a little disconcerting.

Tiana was in a nostalgic mood and kept pointing out

luminaries with a disquieting lack of understanding for the way

his own mind worked. He decided that maybe it was the similarity

of the common trade language to English that was doing

it for him.

"Oh, there is Sargash!" she breathed excitedly and pointed.

"She is a famous idiot."

Joe looked at the red-robed woman and frowned. "She doesn't

look like an idiot to me. She looks pretty smart."

"Oh, you are strange, Joseph! I meant she is a famous

I.D.I.O.T.—Iconological Doctor of Incantations, Obturations,

and Transudations."

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

"And there is Mathala, ogre."

"Actually, she's sort of distinguished."

"No, no. SheisheadoftheOrderofGeomorphicReification

and Exuviation."

"If you say so," was all he could respond. Even though he

was getting the idea, he still didn't know what those words

meant.

Page 95

Chalker, Jack L - Demons of the Dancing Gods

"Ah, and that man all in black over there is a world-renowned

nutcase."

"Do I want to ask questions about that one?"

"Notater of Ultravires, Transubstantiations, Casuistry, Alchemy,

Soporophics, and Ephemerides," she explained. "He

will be one of the referees in the sorcerers' matches."

"First get me a dictionary—one that I can read," he grumped.

She stopped and gasped. "There—there is the evil bastard

himself!"

He waited, noting a tall, distinguished-looking sorcerer in

red and green velvet garb, catching up to and talking with Mr.

DEMONS OF THE DANCING GODS

114

Nutcase. "Well?" he said after a moment. "Aren't you going

to tell me what evil bastard stands for?"

"It stands for usurper, cheat, murderer, and harlot," she spat

out.

Joe was trying to figure out how that fitted the title when

she added, "That is Kaladon."

He looked again with new interest. "He's a lot older than

I thought he was."

"He is five years my senior. The aging that you see is the

wages of his art. He is in fact still the youngest of all the

Council members by more than three hundred years."

"Spell or not, I think we'd better be on our way out of here,"

Joe suggested. "As I understand it, everybody else can see you

normally, and you stand out in any crowd."

"As do you," she responded and squeezed his hand playfully,

but she also wasted no time heading for the nearest exit.

Back out in the corridor, he looked at her and asked, "Now

where?"

She shrugged. "Let us go up to the room and sort through

this material. Somewhere in there is a program that will tell

us what is going on with whom and where."

He nodded and retrieved his untouched bag from the cloakroom.

They headed out into the now jam-packed lobby and up

the long series of stairs.

As they walked down the hall, the door to the suite opened

and a small figure stepped out. They both halted as the figure

Page 96

Chalker, Jack L - Demons of the Dancing Gods

turned and looked up, first at Joe, then at Tiana.

"Hello, Joe," she said.

"Hello, Marge. Uh—this is Tiana."

"So I gather," the Kauri answered a little coolly.

"Joseph has told me much about you," Tiana said, trying

to break the ice a little. "You have had many great adventures."

"You don't look like much of a slouch in my sort of adventures

yourself," Marge responded cattily.

"Uh, Marge—you'll be sharing with Macore," Joe put in.

She looked up at him strangely. "I thought as much."

He shrugged. "You called the tune, remember. I'm just

playing along."

"Yeah. Well, have fun, you two," she replied, then turned

and walked back into her own room.

Tiana didn't quite know what to say, so Joe just moved

JACK L. CHAIKER

115

forward down the hall, unlocked his door, and the two went

inside and closed the door after them.

Finally Joe said, "You know, I'm really going to hate myself

for that tomorrow, but right now I just have that feeling that

there is justice in the world."

"She looked so hurt and lonely."

He nodded. "Yeah. She looked, somehow, almost like that

scared, lonely kid I picked up back in Texas. Funny. If she'd

been like that the last couple of days..."

The big woman thought a moment. "Joe, I think I can

explain it. I was just sort of putting myself in her position

now." Briefly she described the true nature and function of the

Kauri and their strong shifts in mood.

He nodded, understanding to a point. "Well, that explains

it, I guess."

"No, Joe, not completely, judging by your expression. You

and I, we feel grumpy sometimes, happy other times, as all

people do, and as she used to. Now, though, she has no control

over it. She can fix the souls of others, but only by taking the

hurt inside herself."

"Yeah, but you said the effect wears off—she eats it or

something, or she can take the cure back home. That's more

than / can do."

"That is true—as far as it goes. But tell me, what do you

do when you feel very mad about something, perhaps about

something you yourself did that you wish now to take back

and can not?"

He thought a moment. "Smash my fist into a wall, I guess,

or pick a fight."

Page 97

Chalker, Jack L - Demons of the Dancing Gods

She nodded. "But the Kauri, they have no release. There

is no Kauri to clean them up, and they can not harm anyone,

not even themselves. It must be particularly difficult for someone

with a long human past, I would think. And you should

be flattered rather than upset that she did not make love to

you."

"Huh?"

"It means you do not have as many problems as you think

you do. The only opening she had to help you was your feeling

of loneliness, and now that, too, is gone, I think. I hope."

"You're making me feel like a heel right now."

She smiled. "No, you are human, and that is a wonderful

116

DEMONS OF THE DANCING GODS

JACK L. CHALKER

117

thing to be. She is not human, but she is still your friend. I

think perhaps she needs you more than you think, and you

need her far less than you think, if that makes any sense."

"Yeah, I guess so. Think I ought to go over and try and

smooth it out?"

"It might not be a bad idea, particularly if, as Ruddy implies,

we three must go a long way together. I will look through this

mass of material we have collected while you are gone."

He smiled, got up, kissed her, then turned and walked out

of the room and down the hall, stopping at and knocking on

Marge's door.

For a moment he was afraid she was gone; but finally the

door opened a crack, then wide, and he entered.

"Hey, look, I just want to say I'm sorry for the smart remark,"

he told her honestly.

"Yes, I know," Marge replied. "I don't really hold anything

against you, Joe—I couldn't! Not after what we've been through.

I deserved it and I know it."

He sat down on the side of the bed. "Hey, look—I've had

this whole thing explained to me. You're going to find this

hard to believe, but Tiana understands the problem and she

was a pretty good explainer."